[M] sexually frustrated and exploring myself

I’ve been married for a few years but my wife and I have never had a very productive sex life even before marriage and when we do have sex it is very vanilla to me… she is submissive and enjoys being choked, but only enjoys missionary, doesn’t ever want me to go down on her, won’t go down on me, and HATES cum. All things that bum me out. I’ve tried so many times to explain that I need and want more and it’s never felt like a priority to her. I have never had this problem with any women, and I used to have high self esteem and confidence in my looks and sexual ability, but this issue in my marriage has destroyed my self confidence and self worth, feeling like the person I am in love with doesn’t want me in return. We are seeing a therapist where I will be bringing this up more frequently because sex is very important to me, and neither one of us want to give up on this marriage so please no “she’s not the one for you” comments.

Anyway, I’ve been exploring myself more and more and even posted some pictures in other subreddits to hopefully help build my confidence back up. I’ve never really done anything like this at all and it’s such a crazy feeling but has me hornier than ever and I feel like I’m constantly hard just thinking about it all. I’m pretty sexually experienced from before my marriage and no stranger to trying new things, I never rule anything out until I’ve tried it and I’ve tried a lot. I’ve been using a prostate massager and have always enjoyed butt stuff, and I’ve been beating it to all different kinds of porn from pegging, to cumshot compilations, to Bi, to trans. I’m so interested in all of it and can’t help it. I’ve also been taking more nudes than ever even though I’m not sharing them with anyone because I don’t think my wife would appreciate them at all and would find them to be annoying. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt sexy to her and can’t help but feel like she doesn’t appreciate my nude body despite being reasonably in shape. On top of taking the normal dick pics to make myself feel good I’ve also been taking pictures while wearing my wife’s panties – I have always been told I have a great ass and now I know it looks amazing in a thong! Good enough that my own ass makes me hard. This is new territory for me. I wouldn’t say I’m a sissy or CD but these pictures are making me feel better about myself even if it’s something that she won’t understand or enjoy.

It’s been really fun to explore and learn to appreciate myself more. I still have a long road ahead I think because I am still very self conscious now, but I’m hoping that all of this will help! Anyone have any suggestions on new things to try/watch/do? As far as I know I have no sexual boundaries and am open to almost anything.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/an5jgp/m_sexually_frustrated_and_exploring_myself