TIFU By blowing my load at a strip club (NSFW)

So last weekend I was attending a bucks night with the boys. The typical sort of bucks day, lawn bowls, a decent meal, lots of alcohol and of course Strippers. The entire afternoon/evening was not out of the ordinary, we were giving the buck a lot of crap and drinking a heap as we bar crawled across the city. We eventually got to the Strippers just before midnight (we made a booking to ensure we would get in). By this time we were all truly intoxicated, we arranged for a crazy stripper experience for the buck, including toys, oil show, whip cream, slight bondage stuff, candles, the works. After watching the buck enjoy himself I thought I would treat myself to a dance, by this stage I was hanging to have tits and ass in my face. It took me about 5 minutes to find an incredibly busty stripper, she was in what I would call evening wear, a tight black (shiny) dress that had ample cleavage. After organising how much I was going to pay her she took me to the upstairs rooms (like a cubicle type arrangement, sort of semi private, you can’t see others around you but you can see people walking past and other strippers on top of there customers). So I am sitting there, we are having small (drunken) small talk and she is grinding and undressing in a very sultry and seductive way. She really starts getting into, I can’t remember the song or what it was but she just entered this zone as soon as the music changed. She got completing undresses and straddles me, I am facing a great pair of tits and being a tit man I am burying my face into her chest, as she does this she is grinding and bouncing on top of me like crazy. Despite wearing chinos the grinding as basically shifted my penis so that I am virtually feeling every pelvic movement she makes (the only way to describe it would be if you were lying horizontal and your penis falls onto your stomach. I should also note that chinos are not a skinny fit, they are more a pipe fit so they are a bit more relaxed around the things and calves). The grinding and bouncing is a mixture of fast and slow she will really work in and then slow down as if in slow motion and then pick up again. After I would say about a minute, maybe a minute and half of this I couldn’t contain myself, she kept going while I was sitting there jizzing my pants like a horny teenager. Eventually the song changed to another one and she switched things up, she continued the lapdance for 2 more songs before it concluded. When I got up and left, I ended up straight in the bathroom, looked dead in the mirror and could see a decent wet patch from where I had jizzed my pants. I have no idea if she knew, but the patch was slightly damp and warm to the touch so I have a feeling she may have known. Needless to say after spotting that, trying a quick clean up, I decided to leave for the night (too much excitement for one night and fear of being embarrassed by the other guys at the bucks night).

TL;DR: I got a lapdance from a stripper and jizzed in my pants.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/448t29/tifu_by_blowing_my_load_at_a_strip_club_nsfw

8 comments

  1. Just an FYI as to why I put the TIFU in here, I got the post removed from TIFU because it broke the rule of “bodily discharge”…

  2. This story delivered for me, I had a laugh, good job!

    Probably did the right thing calling it a night after that.

  3. I asked a professional stripper if having an erection during a lapdance was acceptable behavior or not, and she said that was kinda the point of the thing. Of course they know how you feel, they feel you, how could they not.

    She did you well, dude. She could have gotten up after the first song, but perhaps she liked you. Or was caught up in the moment.

  4. Pineapple for three songs, and you got a load off! This is legit not a Fuck up! Nice work.

  5. After I read “buck’s night,” the rest of this story was narrated by Steve Irwin in my head. R.I.P., sweet prince.

     

    I enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing. Have an upvote!

  6. That’s happened to me too man my eyes rolled back and i got totally embarrassed! If it makes you feel better she obviously new and I would guess enjoyed it. Don’t feel bad!

  7. Your should have “accidentally” spilled half a drink on yourself at some point, cover it up

    I’ve been to clubs where the chicks actually put towels over laps, made sense, still makes sense

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