The story of the one that got away, and then came back. [MF] [cheating] [long] [notverywild]

tl;dr I met a girl a decade ago and fell hard. The timing was never right, we both got married and now we have reconnected. This is quite long and I wrote it as much for me and [/u/MaeBaeBae](https://www.reddit.com/u/MaeBaeBae) as for a public audience. Hopefully she will chime in with her thoughts and to answer questions as well.

Mae (f) and I (m) are in our 30’s. From the outside looking in, we both have pretty great lives. We’re both married with kids and our spouses are good people. We live in comfortable homes and have good jobs. Up until 3 weeks ago, neither of us had any interest in blowing that up. I’ll get back to that, but really our story started more than ten years ago. 

I was a sophomore at a university abroad. An old friend of mine, James, was there on vacation and had invited me along to be a tourist with him for the day. We made plans to go diving with sharks. I had been talking to a girl at the university, Natalia, about diving together so I brought her along, too. Natalia and I had fooled around a little bit recently but it wasn’t anything serious. Outside of studying together or making out in one of our apartments, we had spent very little time together. I was looking forward to spending the day with her to see if she was someone I would be interested in.  

We met James in the parking lot outside the shark diving place.  He had a girl with him. When I walked up, he said, “You know Mae, right?” I did not know Mae. I was, however, immediately interested in getting to know her. She was a beautiful brunette, about 5’ 7” and you could tell that she spent a lot of time on the beach. She had tanned skin and perfect curves. I soon learned that Mae was actually from the same part of Seattle as me, growing up just ten minutes from my home. We had some mutual friends, like James, but since we were in neighboring cities and school districts, we had never met. While I came to this part of the world for school, Mae had moved thousands of miles away all alone just for the adventure.

 While we were waiting around for our turn to load into the boat, we all chatted nervously. I should say I chatted nervously. I’d like to blame it on the shark diving, but truth be told, Mae was making me act like an awkward teen. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but that was pretty unusual for me.  I never had any trouble talking to girls but Mae was unlike any other girl I’d met. It didn’t seem like Mae had ever been nervous about a thing in her life. She was confident and hilariously funny. She was smart and witty. I couldn’t keep up. 

After an adrenaline rush and a dive with sharks, we all decided to go out to eat to celebrate. Mae was still running circles around me conversationally and I’m sure she could tell I was smitten. It was noticing my interest that probably made her decide to try and make me blush. The four of us were sitting together at a small table. Mae and James on one side and me and Natalia on the other.  (Did you forget about Natalia? I can’t blame you, I had pretty much forgotten about her, too.) 

James made a comment about how Mae and I should spend more time together since we are both so far away from home. Mae quickly agreed. She looked up from her drink and locked her eyes on mine. Slowly, she circled her straw with her tongue in the most perfectly seductive way. (This is an image I still replay even all these years later.)  Everyone noticed and laughed like it was a big joke but my heart was pounding. Moments later, a foot found my calf under the table. Quick observation revealed it was not Natalia’s foot, but Mae’s.  The rest of the meal, Mae continuously made some sort of sly contact, either with her eyes or with her foot. She was so confident and sexy, and now I was sure she was unlike any of the girls I had met before (Sorry, Natalia). 

Before we parted ways that day, Mae and I exchanged our contact information at the suggestion of James. We wasted no time reaching out and in just a matter of days we had sent each other about a dozen emails. With the help of a screen to hide behind, I regained my usual charm and my confidence returned. Our exchanges were witty and so much fun. We flirted heavily and did our best to make each other playfully uncomfortable. We both looked forward to the emails and learning about each other.  At some point, Mae admitted to me that she had a boyfriend and that while she enjoyed our conversations, she was starting to feel a little bad about being so flirtatious with me.  I was bummed for sure, but I let her know that she should get in touch with me if things changed.

Mae and I stopped talking after that. A few months passed, and I met another girl. I really liked her. We had just started to get somewhat serious when Mae reached out to me again. She had broken up with her boyfriend. I let her know that I had a girlfriend, but we didn’t stop talking. I knew that I was being too flirtatious. However, I didn’t want to stop talking to Mae until my new girlfriend found our messages and wasn’t too pleased about it. Conversation slowed, but didn’t stop. We sent catch up emails every once in a while.

 A few months later, I was at a concert with my girlfriend. We had staked out a spot in the grass and were just getting into the show when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see an unfamiliar girl calling me by name. I was confused and unsure what to say. Luckily, I noticed that right behind this stranger was my Mae, laughing at her attempts to create an uncomfortable situation for me, as usual. Mae was there with her ex, who apparently was no longer an ex. While it was clear she was with him, there was a familiar electricity between us across the grass. We texted back and forth throughout the show, joking that we should ditch our dates and dance together. Obviously, neither of us made a move but I think we both spent the entire concert feeling like we were with the wrong person. 

Fast forward a few months and I found myself in the middle of a messy breakup. I wasn’t in a great place, as happens with breakups, but I decided to reach out to Mae. She shared some bittersweet news. She had decided that it was time to move back to Seattle and she was going to end her relationship with her boyfriend before she left. We both knew we were in a bad place, going through individual separate heartache, but we also knew that in that moment, we wanted to see each other. We decided to meet up one more time before she moved away. The timing was unusual, but convenient for us. Mae’s boyfriend would be leaving town a few days before she moved, so they officially called it quits before he took off, and she planned to stay in his house for a couple days until her flight home. This gave us somewhere to be alone and just less than one day to be together.

As soon as her boyfriend was gone and officially an ex again, she had a good cry and then invited me over. At this point, we had never spent any time alone together. We had texted, emailed and Facebook messaged lots but only in short bursts when one of us was not feeling great about our actual relationships. Quite a bit of sexual tension had built up over the preceding year so there was no stopping us now. We knew we had limited time and, finally, we were both single. We didn’t make it past the living room couch before we were heavily making out and clothes were being torn off. 

I grew up in a very conservative home and had decided that I was going to wait until marriage to have sex. Mae had also been taught that same thing, but wisely and promptly disregarded the idea. Soon, Mae started to grab at my belt, trying to remove it in an effort, I assume, to get more intimate. I reluctantly felt I had to tell her to take it easy. In an effort to convince me to get my pants off, she asked if she could just get a look at me, if you know what I mean. I struggled to resist her, but she did relent eventually and we settled for making out topless.  (You can call me an idiot, I know I am. I have regretted that decision so many times over the last decade.) 

We eventually came up for air and went to get a bite to eat.  The conversation came easy now. We made each other laugh, we talked about home and our respective recent breakups, our families and everything we could think of. Since we had nothing to hide, we were able to be completely ourselves and honest about our heartaches, pasts, and desires Conversation and laughter just flowed. Towards the end of dinner, in an unexpected move, Mae got a wicked look on her face. Immediately after, she loudly yelled in my direction, “I can’t believe you would do this! I can’t believe you would keep this from me!”  The room got quiet and people at the other tables were staring. This time, I was up to the challenge.  

I clenched my teeth and said, “Mae, this is not the time nor the place…” 

“Then when is the right time to tell me you have been cheating on me?!?” she said even louder.  

“Oh, come on! Me cheating? Kinda like what happened with you and Dave” 

“I can’t believe you are bringing him up again! That was forever ago!”

 With that, she stood up, knocking her chair over and stormed out of the restaurant. I sat for a second in real surprise and fake anger. Then I pulled out my wallet, put some cash on the table, and stood up to follow her out. I looked after her, took one last bite of food, and then followed her outside. 

We met on the street both laughing uncontrollably at the show we just put on for everyone. It was in that moment that I realized Mae would never be boring. I think that’s when she realized that I could hang. The next 24 hours were a blur. We spent every moment together. A lot of it was fun, some was heavy and real, and all of it was a desperate grasp for more time. We did end up back at her very recent ex-boyfriend’s house, making out in the bed. I don’t know how I managed, but we didn’t sleep together. She did finally convince me to take my pants off when she offered to let me titty fuck her. I can still see her hands holding her DDs around me. (I go back to this memory often, it was very formative.)   

The next day, I dropped Mae off at the airport. We hugged goodbye and  I told her, “You would be so good for me.”  I wish I knew then how true those words were. Unfortunately, I was young and dumb and still messed up about my breakup, as was she. I didn’t realize at the time, even though I had no problems meeting girls, that the kind of immediate attraction and connection that we felt doesn’t come around very often. It’s a chemistry that feels like fire. We continued talking from time to time, but very soon she had started her new life and I got back to mine. We let each other slip away again.

More time passed and I had returned to Seattle for a while. I attended a dinner with a big group of friends. Mae was there with a new guy. We talked briefly and she told me that she was going to marry him, that he was a really nice guy. I told her I was happy for her. I had recently started dating the girl who would eventually become my wife, and she wished me luck. Even though we both seemed and felt happy, I couldn’t help wondering if Mae was choosing the wrong person.

 Over the next few years we had very little contact. An occasional “like” or comment on Facebook let the other person know that we had not forgotten them, but that was it. Occasionally, we would have a short conversation on Facebook messenger. A couple years later, now both married, we had one conversation where we confided in each other that things weren’t quite what we hoped they would be in our marriages.  Nothing came of it, but it was nice to be honest with her still.  

Years pass. We have very different lives and live very far away from each other. We both became parents. Mae and her family now live in Montana, where my in-laws live. Once while visiting my wife’s family I suggested to her that we meet up with Mae, my old friend from college, so our kids could play. She agreed. So did Mae. Soon, the three of us sat at the park and caught up while the kids played together.  At one point, her son and mine were having some kind of issue up on the playset. Mae and I both got up to investigate. For a brief moment, we touched arms and for another, we locked eyes. The moment was fast but it was clear that the electricity from years before was still there and it was nearly overwhelming. One of us quickly broke away and that was that. We had a fun conversation and the playdate ended. My wife even took a picture at the end of the day of Mae with her son and me with mine.  We’re not touching in the photo, but I have gone back to look at it a number of times just to try to relive that brief moment we shared. 

Five more years go by. More kids join our families. We message on Facebook but never about anything more than “I can’t believe how much so and so has grown” or “Your vacation looked amazing!” 

About a month ago she posted on her Insta story saying that she was giving up sugar. I sent her a message:

 “Too bad! I always thought we had a chance! But I don’t think its going to work out now!”

 “We as in you and I.” 

“Not ‘we’ in a creepy way.”

“Too late.”

“Abort! abort!”

Until this point, I had absolutely no indication from her that she was interested in me at all anymore.  She looked perfectly happy with her perfect family from everything I had seen on social media. I see the ellipsis bubble pop up, telling me that she was responding, then it disappeared. Then it came back.

 Finally, she said, “I felt the same way about the rooster! Guess ‘we’ really are dead!” ( I had recently posted a video on my Insta about my dog chasing after a particularly loud rooster. I was rooting for the dog and she was clearly rooting for the rooster) 

I said to her, “Yeah, we’re through. I’ll always look back fondly on our last 12 years together.”  

She responded, “Taking you off the backup plan now. Also, for the future, hold down a message you regret and you can unsend it.”  I liked that she mentioned a backup plan, I liked imagining I was on it.

Three weeks ago, I was out of town for work and Mae reached out to me again. There wasn’t much pretense anymore.  We were talking because we wanted to talk. We texted for the better part of an evening and caught each other up on our lives. We learned that while outwardly we both appear to have perfect lives, it’s not quite the case for either of us. For me, My wife hasn’t really had much interest in sex since maybe 6 months into our marriage. She just has no drive while I have a surplus of libido. The last woman to really seem like she really wanted me was Mae, ten years ago, in her boyfriend’s house. (You can imagine how many times I have thought about that over the years.)

 As for Mae, She is bored. Her husband is safe and nice but she has no excitement in her life. He works hard, comes home, helps with the kids and then sits down to play Call of Duty with his friends.  He doesn’t like to travel. He doesn’t like the ocean. He doesn’t like new things. He likes to be home. When I heard that the girl who was cool calm and collected before diving with sharks was living that way, it kind of broke my heart. In Mae’s eyes, I am the opposite of her husband.  And in my eyes she is the opposite of my wife.

 Over the next few days, we text nonstop. Not just about our spouses but about everything. I feel like I can be completely honest with her. I don’t have to hide the parts of me that I don’t like and she doesn’t judge me. But we were still just talking as friends who had a crush in the past. The tone of the conversation changed when I mentioned we were thinking about moving to her area. As a joke, she sent me a listing of a house for sale next to hers. I said something like, “It would be great for the kids to be best friends but I don’t think it would be good for my marriage to live next door to you.” She said something like, ”Oh, good point. You better not move too close.” From that point, it was game on. 

The flirting and banter became more blatantly sexual. We talked about our past and what we really wanted from our spouses. Turns out we have a lot of the same kinks and neither one of us has many things we aren’t willing to try at least once. By day 4, we were texting about what-ifs. What if she didn’t get on the plane to go home? What if I had told her not to marry her husband when I saw her again? What if I hadn’t put on the brakes in her boyfriend’s house?  We were sharing what dreams we’ve had about each other. I was just blown away that this girl who had absolutely floored me when we first met ( and that I had been thinking about on a fairly regular basis for the next ten years) had been feeling the same way about me all along. 

Soon, texting turned into talking on the phone and then our what-ifs turned into whens. When we meet up we are going to…, when we live together we will, etc… We watched movies together at night, texting each other sappy gifs that made our hearts pound. The cute gifs turned into sexy gifs which eventually just became porn gifs. Slowly, we sent selfies and those soon turned into a few sexy pictures. Sexually, she was into everything I’d ever wanted to try and so much more. I could tell that she would stretch my comfort zone and it excited me. For example, she really enjoys the idea of being used, pinned down, even raped. She told me she fantasized that I would slip something in her drink so she could sleep with me without the guilt of choosing to have sex with me. She didn’t really want me to do it, but the thought of it aroused her and gave me a very confused boner. 

After one night of trading porn gifs, I had already cum but she was still working at it. She told me she wanted me to tell her what I was going to do to her while she masturbated, I asked if I could call and she said yes. Once on the phone, I asked where her husband was (thinking he was out) and she said that he was in the next room. “You’re crazy!” I said, imagining him walking in on us having phone sex.  She simply said, in a hushed and hungry tone, “You better be quick then.” Even though I knew it was nuts, I couldn’t resist her and I told her everything I wanted to do to her. I told her I was going to pin her down and pull her hair while I fuck her from behind. It didn’t take long at all and she was there. We had gone from catching up to phone sex in less than two weeks.  Before too long, I began to plan to fly to Montana to see her “on my way” home from my work trip. 

The problem with all this fun and excitement was that we were both married to people who really haven’t done anything wrong, other than be wrong for us. Our spouses aren’t bad spouses. And they haven’t really changed from who they showed themselves to be when we were dating. We both just seemed to have picked the wrong person. It’s hard to blame them or hurt them or leave them for that. So, as we planned a quick rendezvous, we came up with some ground rules. If we were going to meet up, we wouldn’t kiss and we wouldn’t have sexual contact. I think we both knew that was going to be incredibly difficult and, honestly, that was part of the fun. We also talked about how after this trip we were going to have to end whatever it was we were doing. It was all getting too real and the feelings were slipping dangerously from fun to love. We had both said that we had fallen for the other, though it wasn’t easy or casual to say because of what that would mean for us both.

We met up Saturday morning in a busy shopping center. I watched her walk down the mall until she saw me. We walked up to each other for the first time in many years. We held our first embrace for a long time. She felt so good in my arms. Her body just melted into mine. We fit perfectly together. We walked around for a bit, mostly just killing time and waiting for her phone to die so her husband couldn’t see where she was. We shopped for a new couch for her and a pair of shoes for me. It was amazing how quickly we picked up where we left off and felt completely comfortable. The electricity between us was still intense.

In a desperate attempt to get some privacy, we found an elevator. As the doors closed, I immediately grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. She wrapped her arms around me, and I pressed my body against hers. I got as close as I could.  Our hands were in hair and up the backs of our shirts, grabbing legs and arms. We held our faces impossibly close but didn’t kiss. We savored every second we had on that elevator ride and we soaked in the feeling of being together. 

We found a bunch of excuses to ride the elevator that day. Eventually, we just went down to the parking garage and climbed in the back of her minivan. We sat together, talked, and held hands. We felt that connection that never let us go after all these years. At one point, I sat on the floor in front of her and pulled her onto my lap. She giggled but did not pull away. Her legs wrapped around me. We started to rock back and forth and pretty quickly we realized how difficult it was going to be to keep our rules. She jumped off of me, looking the best kind of dizzy, and we decided to go get some lunch. 

We left her phone in her van and took my car to a little out-of-the-way place where we were pretty sure we wouldn’t be spotted together. When we arrived, Mae took my hand and told the hostess that we were just married. The hostess didn’t care but we laughed. We talked and throughout lunch we had a few moments where we just looked at each other. We didn’t always have to talk or laugh, we just couldn’t believe we were really here together. Lunch was great except for the fact that it was pretty difficult to eat soup while looking cool in front of a beautiful woman who I had been dreaming about for years. 

After lunch, we decided to go for a drive around the historic parts of the city. That’s when we saw an open house. We parked the car and went inside, where we spontaneously decided to be married. The home was for sale by the owner and he greeted us in the entryway. He gave us a tour of the house, asking personal questions all along the way. Each time he asked something, there would be a pause and one of us would make something up to add to our fictional life story. Over the course of 20 minutes, we created a perfect little tale of our lives. We were married, moving to this town after selling our home in Nebraska. We had two kids, a girl and a boy. (Mae named them Frederick and Freida, which was hilarious and the only part of the story that I didn’t wish to be real.) 

Pretending we were a happily married couple was tons of fun but also hurt deep down because it wasn’t our story. That’s actually a good way to describe everything that had happened since we reconnected. I don’t know how many times she made me laugh out loud at a ridiculous joke or smile at a sweet thing she said only to have my mind return to the impossibility of our situation.

 At some point after the open house, we decided that the only way we were going to be able to be alone was at a hotel. We still had our rules, but we agreed to be strong enough to spend some time alone together without doing something we would regret. I pulled out my phone and booked a nearby nice place. We spent a few hours in the room, finally alone. We held each other as close as we could get away with. We took off the clothes we could remove without feeling bad about it later. I held her in my arms as she placed her head on my chest. We rolled around and let our lips linger near each other’s but resisted the urges to kiss or, let’s be honest, to fuck. Every once in a while, one of us would get a little too into it. Fearing we would go too far, we would step away, pacing the room trying to calm ourselves down. 

Mae also kept doing this incredibly adorable thing where she would roll onto her stomach and bury her face in the pillow, mumbling or sighing as she tried not to go too far with me. At one point, I distinctly heard, “Ugh I just want to fuck you.” Another fun moment was when she started to tickle me. We spent the next few minutes, tickling, grabbing, and throwing each other around the bed. It was our way to be as intimate as possible while staying innocent. Really, we did a pretty good job of not acting on what we both wanted so badly.

The craziest thing that happened was when she was on top of me and I half-jokingly said I wished I could feel her nipples on my skin. To my surprise, she said “Okay!” I told her I wouldn’t look. She pulled her shirt down and soon I felt her tits on me. Turns out, I lied about not looking. It about killed me. They were so perfect and even and better than I remembered.

 The other time we probably crossed the line was when I had her pinned down (remember her affinity for consensual non-consent) and I was just grinding my hard cock into her. She tried to pull away and I let her go a couple of times before she finally convinced me that she actually liked it. So, I laid on top of her with my hands holding her wrists above her head, while I dry humped her to completion like teenage boy. Afterwards I felt pretty weird but she assured me that she loved it. We spent some more time just lounging around but it was hard to really enjoy it knowing that it would be over momentarily. Soon, I took her back to her car and we said our goodbyes. 

I returned home, and although it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, Mae and I had a hard time cooling things down. We had thought this would be the end, but we found we wanted to talk all the time, still. We were better about the sexy stuff, though. Rather than texting or talking all day long, we were down to just a couple hours each day.  How could I possibly let her go? She made me laugh and smile and turned me on like no one ever has. Even though we didn’t say it much, she loved me and I her. I could feel it burn through the phone. We had an emoji for the feeling we give each other. Like a balloon filling up in our chests. She made my skin tingle and heart pound and I couldn’t help but smile every time I saw her text. 

Then a few nights ago we had a particularly steamy night of texting. She was asking me how I would punish her for not responding to my demands. I stepped out of my normal caring lover persona and tried my best to think like she wanted me to think. Apparently, I did a good job by going into great detail how I would deny her and tie her up for any number of strangers to use. She said afterwards that she was super scared yet turned on. And that she didn’t think she was going to need porn for a few weeks. So with that little boost of confidence I went to bed. A couple hours later I was up and looking at her Instagram again. I just couldn’t let her go, even to sleep. 

Then she texted me, “Still up?”

I responded “Yeah :)”

“I have to go dark. I have to choose my husband. I’m Sorry. Thanks for making me feel so alive for a few weeks.” 

And that was that. I was so secure in how I felt about her that, honestly, I had been pretty comfortable with the situation. I knew she wasn’t going to leave her family for me. I came to grips with that. But I also felt like there was a reason we keep being drawn to each other. That our story isn’t over and will have a happy ending together someday. Apparently, it wasn’t as comfortable for her.

I woke up the next morning and she had blocked me on FB and Instagram. She was gone. Since the day we met she has held a small corner of my heart. Over the last few weeks her stake has grown significantly and now she is gone. Completely ripped away. The worst part is I have no one to talk to. I want to call her to talk to her about what to do without her. I keep hoping she will change her mind and we can go back to… whatever we are. I don’t see “old acquaintances” working out anymore. I told her early on that I would rather have her at arm’s length then not at all. Hopefully we’ll figure out a way to get back there. I can’t go another ten years without her. 

Edit: she texted again a few minutes after I finished writing this but before I posted. Doesn’t look like either of us can handle going completely dark. But there is still quite a bit of uncertainty going forward. I won’t be surprised if I get cut off again soon (plz don’t [/u/maebaebae](https://www.reddit.com/u/maebaebae) lol)

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/a0r9th/the_story_of_the_one_that_got_away_and_then_came