[MF][MFF] My First Love

First off before we begin, this is the first time I have tried to write a sexy story. And while it is a story, it’s also a pretty accurate account of my first adventures in sex and love. I have not given people’s names and omitted some events. This took place earlier this year, somewhere in the UK.

# My First Love

I was a late starter to dating as a 39 year old guy. I had always been sexually interested in women but massively lacked confidence, due to two main body image issues, I have been obese ever since I was a teenager, and I’m a little on the small size in the trouser department, both caused bullying at school which made me think that girls would never be interested in me, so I never bothered asking them, and I never got approached either. Being a bit shy and introverted didn’t help either. I had always been pretty horny, but as a nerdy computer loving teenager in the mid-nineties, I was in the first generation to be brought up on internet porn, so I curbed my hornyness in the normal way, and tried to convince myself that I was asexual as I couldn’t bring myself to be naked in front of anyone and that girls will just not be interested in me.

Several years ago due to feeling like crap health wise I decided I had to start to sort my weight out. It took nearly 2 years of long walks, swimming and dieting, but I lost over half my body weight. For the first time since I was a kid I was the correct size for my height. The weight loss must have triggered a massive rise in testosterone or something, because for the first time in my life all I could think about was getting a girlfriend, I don’t remember feeling like that even during puberty, but that’s the sort of feelings I was having. I physically felt great and I was not fat, but I didn’t have a six pack and there is a bit of excess skin due to loosing so much weight. But for the first time since I was a kid I had energy and I felt in the best shape of my life. Another side benefit that I had not expected was my dick felt and looked bigger as the fat pad around it had shrunk back giving the illusion that it was much larger than ever. Both factors caused a huge boost in self-confidence.

About a year into my weight loss I had started to switch away from watching porn as I had found /r/gonewildaudio, and also /r/pillowtalkaudio the audios on there made me realise that intimacy was so much more important to me than the sex that porn portrayed. I also listened to Eve’s guide for regular guys from [Eraudica.com/](https://eraudica.com/), which began to convince me that I shouldn’t cut myself off from female company, love and sex, and that porn wasn’t what I should have been relying on. Don’t get me wrong porn is not a terrible thing, just it’s not a replacement for company and real sex. So all this conspired together to bring me to the real beginning of the story.

So January this year turned up and it was my 40th birthday later in the year, and I really didn’t want to be the real life “40 year old virgin”, so I set about finding my first ever girlfriend. I signed up with a few dating apps, and after a few failed matches, I eventually matched with a lovely fun sounding alternative girl in her early 30’s, lets call her L. L was a short BBW with brown/purple hair and a huge pair of tits, and to top it all off she has an amazingly cute face, with a lovely smile and great eyes, that I could gaze into for ever. She shared my sense of humour and taste in films and TV. She explained that she was pan-sexual and polyamouras, essentially bisexual, she told me that she didn’t see gender, only the person and she liked having multiple lovers, and was in an open marriage to another woman, but that they didn’t live together, she had also been married before to a man. This didn’t freak me out, I may be a virgin but I am very open minded, I’ve always believed that consenting adults can get up to whatever they like between themselves, as long as nobody else is getting effected. She told me she wanted a friend and have some fun in the bedroom, which all sounded great to me.

We chatted for a week or so online, while I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out on a date, amazingly she agreed. I wanted to be open and honest with her, so I sent her a message telling her I was nervous as I am a bit small in the trouser department, and that it would be my first ever date and that I had never even kissed a girl and was a virgin, I was so nervous as I sent that message that I would lose her by being too honest, as that had put a couple of previous matches off. But she messaged me back saying to my surprise and delight that I needn’t worry, she didn’t mind my severe lack of experience or care about my dick size, and she would love to guide me through everything if we hit it off. So we arranged an evening date at her place a couple of days later, to watch her favourite film, which sounded great as I had not seen it.

Sort of luckily the film would not play properly as her internet was playing up. As an IT guy I thought about offering to try and fix it, but I think she knew that the only issue was that her kids were up in their bedrooms using all the bandwidth, instead of being asleep as they should have been. So we just put some random telly on in the background and spent the evening chatting and getting to know each other, we got along so easily, she was so easy to talk to, and pretty soon it was midnight. I thought we were reaching the end of the evening, but she took my hand and asked me if I wanted to go upstairs. The question in itself didn’t shock me, as during our chats before the date, she had hinted at the possibility of me staying over if we hit it off. What did shock me was that I hadn’t screwed up the date, putting her off me completely. I said that I would love to, if she did, and then my heart started pounding so loudly I thought that she must be able to hear it.

So we both go up to her room, and she told me to lay down on the bed and she lay down beside to me. She started cuddling me and sensing that I was nervous, she went in for my first kiss, she had such soft kissable lips, I loved it, so I started kissing her back, holding her shoulder, rubbing her back, and touching her hair, just following what she was doing to me. She could tell I was getting into it, but still a bit nervous, so she guided my hands all over her amazing curvy body, she slowly started undressing, and helping me to as well. I got my first view of her fabulous 40 GG tits, which she put my hands on and told me to squeeze. I spent a while just fondling her boobs and pinching, licking and sucking her nipples, and kissing her, and running my hands through her hair. It was at this point that I could feel her hands move down my body and onto my cock, which felt harder than I have ever been in my entire life, she was rubbing and squeezing me through my underwear, which came off at this point, it felt fantastic, I was oozing so much precum. I could hear her enjoying the attention I was giving her hard nipples, and she almost forcibly dragged my hand down and placed it just above her pussy, to my surprise she was totally clean shaven.

I began to do what I had been longing to do for ages, I explored her shaved pussy with my fingers, while I kissed her. She told me that her clit was pierced, which helped me locate her magic spot, and get my bearings. I was rubbing gently all over her pussy lips and around her clit, and she was clearly enjoying the sensations, but she told me to go just a bit lower, and I found her opening and I finally slipped a finger into her wet hole. God she was so slippery and I explored her pussy deeper as I slipped a second finger inside her, all while keeping my thumb rubbing and circling around her clit. I used my fingers in her pussy to try and find her g-spot which I had read so much about online.

I have always wanted to eat a women’s pussy, so I kissed my way down her body and ended up between her thighs and gave her slit a quick lick, and got my first taste of her sweet pussy juices. What a wonderful sight, smell and taste, I loved it. I began by engulfing her clit with my lips and sucking gently, and using my tongue to lick and flick her clit. Every so often I would lick up and down her entire pussy area and stick my outstretched tongue deeper into her wet pussy. After a few minutes of some very tasty pussy and clit licking and using a couple of fingers to rub what I thought felt like her spongy soft spot, that I assumed might be her g-spot, all while she was holding my head and running her fingers through my hair. It took a while but she started thrashing about and panting and moaning. She pushed my head away and squeezed her thighs together and told me to stop rubbing and just hold her, I could feel her pussy squeezing my fingers. I thought, had I just given her an orgasm?

I moved back up and cuddled her and we kissed, she loved the taste of her pussy on my lips. Funnily she then asked me if I was actually a virgin, she couldn’t believe that I had made her wetter with my fingers than her wife did, and was amazed that I had made her cum. I explained that I had done “copious amounts of internet research, you know, for science”, to which she laughed. I asked if I had actually found her g-spot, and she told me I had. Who knew the internet could be correct about that. She asked me if I was ready to go all the way. I said yes.

My cock was still rock hard despite not having had much attention while I was down between her legs, and she went down and kissed my head, and started sucking it. Due to my size she was able to go balls deep without gagging, she squeezed the base with her lips and used her tongue to circle around my head and shaft while sucking, it felt amazing. She looked up at me and I had my hands in her hair, and I was rubbing her shoulders and back, she got up and leaned over and we kissed, as she straddled me and I felt her hand guide my cock towards her wet pussy. She rubbed the head of my cock up and down her slit and over her clit. She slipped me in to her and slowly sunk down pushing my cock balls deep into her wet hole. She paused for a moment to let me savour the feeling and I looked up into her face with her hair cage around my head, she smiled at me with her naughtiest grin, I glanced down and to see her massive tits hanging there, and I could feel her pussy around my cock for the first time ever. I hugged her and pulled her towards me and we kissed and she started to rock her hips back and forward, and she rode me cowgirl style. She felt amazing, all the while we were kissing and cuddling and I was touching her boobs and sucking her nipples.

It was nothing like I expected, decades of porn had not prepared me well for the real experience, and just everything was so overwhelming, touch, smell, taste, sounds and sight a total sensory overload. Unfortunately the only downer on the whole experience was that I couldn’t cum. I think 30 odd years of solo masturbation and watching too much porn had given me death grip, combined with nerves and performance anxiety all weren’t helping. I could keep it up as I was hard as a rock the entire time, but the sensations were just so different to what I was expecting, and absolutely nothing like what it felt like when I jacked off. Don’t get me wrong I was loving all the feelings and sensations, and I got close a couple of times, but just couldn’t get over the edge.

We were both getting tired, and she tried to give me a hand job to finish, which again felt great, but after a few minutes I took over and even I couldn’t finish myself off. I felt so over stimulated, like I needed to go completely soft and have a break and start again, but we were both exhausted, and in sexual bliss anyway at this point. I suppose it’s called bedroom cardio for a reason. She told me not to worry and that it is not uncommon for that to happen, especially with a new partner. I told her that she was gorgeous, seriously sexy and was massively turning me on, I didn’t want her to think she was the problem or to hurt her feelings. I think mainly I was just too nervous to cum in front of someone else for the first time ever. While I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t cum, the whole experience had been amazing, I had made her cum several times and I felt like a king. We cuddled and kissed and talked sweet nothings for a while and fell asleep in each other’s arms, I was in heaven.

So I had had my first date, first kiss and she took my virginity, all on one amazing night. She was so understanding, guiding me gently through the whole thing. It was probably the way people hope there first time would go. We awoke the next day and did a bit more kissing and cuddling, and I fingered her and made her cum again, and she gave me another blow job and hand job, but I still couldn’t cum, bloody nerves. But I had to leave as she had family things to do, that afternoon.

We had several more dates, I did get to see her favourite film, which I enjoyed, and we had been having some great sex, and I thought I was starting to find my rhythm, and I had even cum all over her, and inside her pussy once, both of which she loved. I still found it difficult to finish, but it was all feeling great. I knew from the beginning that this was never going to be a long term relationship, due to her open relationship with her wife. I imagined that we would just have some fun times together and it would last as long as she wanted it to, and we would maybe be FWB and that would be it, and I was good with that, I needed some female company and we liked each other. Things were about to change.

About a week or two later just after my 40th birthday she invited me over for the evening, I think it was our 4th or 5th date. I arrived to find L’s wife was also there, let us call her G. Although this was the first time I had met G, she did know about me from the start so no cheating was ever involved, I wouldn’t do that to anyone. Still being a bit naive I assumed that we were just going to spend the evening together as friends, and then I was going to go home. Well we did spend the evening together, watching a couple of films and chatting together, having a great time. Again just like L, G was super easy to talk to, and I enjoyed her and L’s company immensely.

When it started getting a bit late, and I thought it was nearing the time to leave, L said she was just off to the bathroom and that she would meet us both upstairs in a few minutes, and then the penny dropped, was I about to experience a threesome?

I followed G upstairs to their room, as my heart started pounding just like it did on the first date. G got undressed and got onto the bed, I also stripped and lay down next to her. L entered the room a couple of minutes later to see me next to G. I had not started doing anything with her yet as I was still not sure of the etiquette. She joined us and proceeded to start things off.

L was fishing for something under the bed, and she emerged with her Hitachi vibrator. She got between G’s legs and began eating her pussy and fingering her and vibing G’s clit with the Hitachi. I began kissing and touching my second ever woman. I was touching, squeezing and pinching G’s boobs and tweaking her nipples. L told me to come down and join her between G’s legs and watch, as she brought G to a shaking orgasm which made her squirt all over both our faces, so hot. They switched places and G used the vibe on L’s clit, while I kissed L and played with her tits. I also gave my hand to G to help finger L’s pussy to her first orgasm of the evening.

L and G both got either side of me and the both started kissing and cuddling me at the same time, and they had their hands on my stiff cock, they kissed their way down my body and started to give me a double blowjob while they kissed each other, they looked so great together, the passion in their eyes showed and they clearly loved each other, and were enjoying using me together. They took turns riding me, while kissing together, and I would finger the pussy of whoever wasn’t riding me, it was fantastic, at one point G came hard and squirted on me with my dick deep in her pussy it felt amazing, so hot, wet and messy. Again performance anxiety about me cumming kicked in, and so we all took a break.

During the break in the action while we were just kissing and cuddling together the tipping point in the relationship happened. With me sandwiched between them, G prompted L to tell me about something that they clearly had been discussing together earlier. This sounded serious, so I feared bad news, like thanks but it’s over, or I wasn’t any good in bed or my cock was too small to satisfy them, or other such bad news. But L looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me, and G followed it up with “he’s a keeper”. This was the last thing I was expecting, and I just melted into my now official girlfriends arms kissing her and cuddling her for all I was worth, I told her I was also falling in love with her. It was so beautiful and something I’m never ever going to forget. I remember that G was behind me just giggling, and fake retching due to the sappiness of it all. I imagine that this isn’t the normal scenario for most people when they are told by their lover that they love you, especially the first time ever. I then turned to G and asked her if she was alright with the situation, and gave her a big hug and kisses too, so she didn’t feel left out. Turns out she was fine, as she is also polyamouras and bi as well.

Once we recovered we proceeded to have a marathon mutual masturbation session, with both girls cumming several more times, but again despite the two beautiful and amazingly sexy girls beside me I still couldn’t cum, my dick still felt so overstimulated and desensitized that I couldn’t rub fast enough even with lube to get me over the edge. So we fell asleep in each other’s arms with me in the middle.

G woke up first and as a light sleeper when in a different bed, I was still dozing and beginning to wake, she started kissing me and so I kissed her back and started touching her boobs and body, she was loving the attention. I moved my hand down to her pussy, and started to finger her, I had a couple of fingers sliding in and out of her wet slit and my palm was rubbing against her hardening clit, it wasn’t long before her pussy was pulsing and my hand got very wet as she squirted all over my hand, all while we were heavily kissing. To return the favour she went down and started sucking my cock, and by this time L was walking up, so G and I started fondling her and she started to join in. I was kissing L and nibbling her nipples while G sucked me off and I had a couple of fingers in L’s pussy as well. Again we finished with a wank fest, but god damn brain wasn’t allowing me to cum again, L and G clearly love my stamina but blue balls was beginning to get to me.

Fast forward a month and unfortunately L gave me some devastating news. G and L were both moving away so that they could live together. I still don’t get why it had to be so far away, it wasn’t a work thing, I think it had something to do with affordable housing, they needed a large house as they have 5 kids between them. As the move was not until August, I said that I still wanted to carry on seeing her, and that I love her and want to be with her, and we both had a cry and cuddle together. I said that we could try and make something long distance work, it was only a few hundred miles away, but deep down I knew that that the move was probably going to be the end of it, maybe we could be long distance FWB, only seeing each other once a month or so. But hoping at the very least we had until August.

A month or so later, we were still seeing each other and both of us were still madly in love with one another. I was trying to work out how I could make the long distance thing work. G had already moved to sort the new place out, and L was visiting with her on and off, so I could not see her as much. It was about this time that G started going through some sort of breakdown due to the anxiety and stress of the move, and L was obviously distraught. She needed to spend all her time helping her out, even if she wasn’t at the new place with G. I told her I totally understood and that I was there for her if she needed me. Two agonising weeks passed by with me messaging her just to see how she was doing, and asking if there was anything I could do to help, and we saw each other only a couple of times. We messaged daily and spoke on the phone occasionally, and she told me that she was also not coping well with the move and that she knew that I was hurting for not seeing her, and she didn’t want me to hurt, but she didn’t feel she could see me while her wife needed her support. I told her that I understood totally, and that clearly her wife was more important to her than I was, and that the pain of missing her was better than the pain of breaking up, and I was here for her and would help in any way I could.

We had one more amazing date and then a week or so after our last date, and 3 months to the day since the amazing first date, that changed my life forever, she phoned me and told me that she couldn’t cope with the stress of everything, and that it wasn’t fair on me that I was involved in her problems. She couldn’t bare causing me pain for missing her. Again I told her that I understood, but that I really wanted to wait for her to sort the breakdown and move out, but she said that causing me pain was unbearable to her, and that she still loved me but I deserved a “proper” girlfriend, one that I could have all to myself, she told me I was an amazing man with so much love to give, and that she had enjoyed all the times we had spent together, and if she had known that the move was happening she wouldn’t have been on the dating site in the first place, and that she was sorry for causing me so much heart ache. I told her that I loved her and didn’t want to cause her any more pain and stress either, and that the times we spent together were some of the best memories of my life, and that I would never forget her as long as I live, and it was with a massively heavy heart that I agreed that we should break up. We both spent the call crying and telling each other that we loved each other, and please never forget each other. I did say if she ever changed her mind to contact me.

It’s been 6 short months since we met and 3 long agonising months since the spilt and I am assuming that the move has happened by now, it was supposed to be in the first half of August. She was my first date, first kiss, I gave her my v-card, and she was the first girl to ever tell me that she loved me, and the first girl that I ever loved. I still miss her like crazy. I went into the relationship not really expecting to fall in love, I wasn’t even sure that I could love, having never wanted intimate company before my weight loss started. She had also said that she just wanted a friend and some fun in the bedroom, right from the start so I assumed that we were only going to be a FWB thing, but that moment she said I love you, I realised that I felt the same towards her, and that changed everything.

I haven’t heard from her and I haven’t contacted her in the 3 months since we split. I don’t know what my reaction would be if she did make contact, I would love to know if she is in a better happy place than she was when we had to split. I have thought about contacting her several times, but I’ve been strong. Part of me knows that while I still love and care about her deeply, starting things back up would only push the pain further down the line when I realise that I need more from a relationship than she could give. But god damn she would be a sight for sore eyes if she did want to see me again.

I cannot hate her or blame her for any of what happened to cause the break up, I only wish I could have convinced her to allow me to wait for things to blow over, and maybe we could have spent some more fun times together before the move. It’s even worse that we both share similar attitudes to life, enjoy the same taste in films and TV, and other interests as well, oh and the sex was great too. I was getting better at it at the end as well. I feel that I lucked out with my first love and I can’t seem to let go just yet, and don’t believe that I could ever find someone like her again.

Right now it just hurts so much being without her. I hope that any future breakups are not anywhere near as bad as this first one. I am not crying quite as regularly as I was a week ago. I just don’t feel like I’ll ever be ready to get back out there and meet someone new, and while I hurt, I also feel so lonely without her. I miss having someone to touch to be touched by, even just a simple hug is a wonderful experience. It’s like I now realise what I have been missing for most of my life. I feel like an idiot and a failure for not getting over my confidence issues years ago.

The End

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is welcomed and encouraged.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/97hrys/mfmff_my_first_love