[FM] I cheat on my husband (very long, first story, please be kind…)

Hello, I am posting this here because I deleted my original post in r/adultery because I receive so many negative messages and threat from angry people. I know cheating is not a very nice thing to do and its make me a cheater but this is my story and I want to share it anyway because it is good to confess sometimes! Somebody tell me to post it here instead because people here are more understanding of this decision I make, but to add some sexual detail to my story so here it is, I try at least! Sorry if it is long and sorry if I am not such a good writer because this is my first time to write a “story”.

Please be nice to me even if you hate me for being a cheater…. I already have been thru a lot so this is my story….

Anyway I am married for 14 years this summer, to my husband who is 48 years old. I am 33 and we have 2 children both almost teenager. It is over 10 years we don’t have any sex… 10 years it is the truth. This is the sad truth of my life. I have to be honest one of the reason we don’t have sex now is because my husband have some heart and blood pressure and other problem, and also he is depressive and this affect everything in our life. He is also a big beer drinker and this is another major problem for us.

When we first meet he is a very debonair fancy dresser and charming man but it is such a long time he is not like this. He gain so much weight and he don’t exercise at all even tho his doctor insist on it. Also he have some history of abusive behavior not just with me but with others too, I don’t want to say too much on this because it is not even the story I want to tell now, but it is just to show that my life it is not so happy and I try so hard. I used to try so much to make connection for him, I still make myself look good and I dress nice and I try to make him love me but it’s nothing. I care for him and take care of everything in his life like I am his nurse or caregiver but it is never good enough for him and he criticize me every day.

We are both Filipino and in my community it is small and everybody know everybody so divorce is not something that is so accepted by us. Believe me I think about it a lot and even I try to talk to him about my feelings and my own depression that I feel but he don’t listen. So I commit to be with him forever and to try to make it a happy home for our children even if I am not happy myself.

So anyway this its what happen to me: My gym its near my work, same block, so I always go exercise every week day before work. I also swim on the weekend sometime and I used to be a competitive swimmer when I was a teenager and I still keep that passion even tho I don’t race anymore. I always exercise alone and always with my headphone and music. I also don’t dress so sexy for the gym, just simple workout clothes and nothing provocative at all.
Then after I shower I go to work (I work in an office downtown core). This WAS my routine!

I go to this gym for several years but it is only in March that I meet my friend. He is a very handsome man, his mother is Guatamalan and his father is white so he have an exotic face ? Of course I notice him when I see him but I am not a flirter so I just ignore and keep working, but after some weeks we start to recognize each other because we go at the same time in the morning. After a bit we smile at each other when we see each other, then little hello, and then we do some small talk if I am leaving or arriving same time as him. We talk a little bit here and there but nothing more then that even tho I know I see him admiring me in the mirror and stuff like that. Anyway I don’t know what to say but he is very good looking and I will admit now I think about him sometimes at that time, just a little fantasy for me.

So after a little bit I think about him more when I am at home, and I start wearing more revealing clothes for my work out so he can see me, nothing disgusting at all, just semi-transparent legging, tight fitting top (not loose t-shirt), stuffs like that just to get his attention and I know its work because he definitely notice and I notice him notice me.

I know I have a good healthy body so I like to show it off for him at the gym. I am 5’1” and I weight 105 pounds at my normal weight, so I am very petite, and I am a fashionista so I am always make sure I look stylish and good. When I workout with him there, it is so exciting because I know he watch me when I stretch or make a position he like. After a while he don’t even try to hide it, and when we make eye contact he always smile, so I make my stretch for him and smile back sometimes and its make me feel so excited! There is so much energy between us that I know one day he will try to ask me something and I wait for it.

One day in March he ask me if I want to have coffee after our workout, and I am not surprised but I have to tell him no and show him my ring and said “so sorry! I’m married you know!” and he say it is ok it is only coffee and anyway the coffee shop is downstairs. I decline that time but I agree the next time he ask me and we have a very nice talk, nothing sexual at all but I can feel the energy between us even more, so much attraction. When I go to work that day I think of him all day and it’s make me feel like I am a teenager even tho nothing happen.

We go for coffee again and again and we talk for much longer, we share stories of our life and I tell him a little bit about me (nothing sexual!) and he tell me about his divorce and career. Most of all it is amazing to me how much he is interested in me and want to listen to my life. Maybe it is just because I am a little bit lonely but when I am talking to him and have his full undivided attention its make me feel so good and attentive. In my heart all this time I am making decision about what I will do. I don’t tell my husband about my friend of course, but it is not like he even care about anything in my life. In my heart I know what I want but I wonder if I will ever do it.

So when Trevor ask me if I want to go for lunch with him one day, I pretend to think about it but of course I say yes. I tell him it is just for lunch and I try to be demure but he agree very enthusiastically and that was that. So we agree to meet for lunch the next week on Tuesday and it is all I can think about.

The morning of my date I prepare in the bathroom much longer then usual to make myself ready in case something happen, long bath and everything. My outfit is work clothes but more sexy… blue button up blouse, wrap around mini, nude stocking and my white call it spring pumps, matching bra and underwears. I do my hair down, nails done bright red, make up perfect, and all morning at work I am thinking of him. I also take the afternoon off work in case something its happen, and even when I ask my boss this it’s feel so wrong but I try to pretend it is not for what I am thinking. So this is me being so hopeful about something so wrong! It’s show you I think how excited I am for something to happen in my life.

When I meet him at the resto he is already there and he look so handsome, new haircut and nice blue suit that’s make his eyes so bright. He is a tall man, short brown beard and shaved head and many tattoo on his arm in the gym but in his work clothes you really don’t see that he is a bad boy like that. He is 42 but he look younger but also older if that’s make sense (probably not). I wish I can describe him better because he is so good looking but really the best thing I can say on it is that he look scary but also friendly at the same time, it’s the eyes.

So what can I say? He compliment me so much when he see me and I blush, compliment him, and even before our drinks arrive we are sitting in the booth side by side and touching a little bit and flirting so much. When he touch my thigh I remember I sigh and then before I know it we are kissing and its feel SO GOOD! We kiss so much passion even right there in the resto that I become self consciousness when I realize what is happening and I back off. So he is so confident he just say “let’s get out of here” and of course I follow him all the way. We take a taxi and it is such a short drive to his apartment that I can’t even believe it is happening so fast. I try not to think too much on it but with Trevor kissing my neck and touching my body in the taxi its make me ready for anything and I really forget all about my husband.
He fuck me so hard and so long that I can’t even remember all of it the first time, such a blur! I was on my knees giving him a very slow blowjob, trying so hard to please him because it is so long time that I don’t have that experience and I want it to be perfect for him. I am so so nervous about everything so he allow me to take my time and I do it like that for a long time, totally naked in front of him on his couch, so expose like that but I love it. When he ask me if I am ready I say yes and he take me over the back of the couch and then we are doing it. He fuck me so many different ways, it was like a movie and I was the star! So much passion and love in those moments, we kiss so much while we fuck, it’s feel so intimate in a way I never feel before, I have maybe 20 small orgasm and one very big one that’s make me so emotional and cry after, and he hold me to him so naked together and we kiss and he make me feel so loved. I remember thinking at the time that there is no way I can ever give him up after that day, nothing can be the same and I don’t want to have another man except him. By the time I go home at 8pm I am so sore from how hard he fuck me, and I take a long bath again to think on it. Of course my husband was already sleeping in front of the T.V. when I get home, so nothing really feel different there.

After that time we continue to meet whenever it is possible. More than one time, we meet around 5:00am and we have sex in my car in the parking lot of the gym before it’s open. I can’t even describe how sexy it is to have him fuck me in that car, so much steam and hot even tho outside its so cold. When we go to his place now I am not so nervous anymore and we have very hard and passionate sex every time it is better and better. Now I feel like a sexpert in a way I never feel before, and I feel like he has train me to become a better lover for him and for this I am also so grateful. It’s feel like my life has transform with him in it.

After our last meeting last Friday we are starting to talk about planning to spend the night together next month when I have an opportunity to be alone for a whole night. I can’t wait! I know it is not suppose to feel this good to be a cheater, but I love it and really I don’t feel guilty at all. Now I belong to another man and it is the best thing for me. My husband don’t even notice and don’t care, so why should I care about it?

I know I should think about getting a divorce, but for now I want to enjoy my secret love and make some happiness for myself even if it is wrong. Maybe I wish for a better life, and this is the best I can find.
What is the future? I don’t know. Maybe I will go to Hell. But in a way right now it feels worth it because I am finally so satisfied and feel like a young woman again.

Sorry this is so long and written so amateur but this is the best I can do. Also I am sorry if my sexual detail its not so sexy but it is my first time to write on this and its make me feel funny to write all of it! Maybe I will try to write again better if anybody like it and if nobody send me nasty messages.

Thank you for reading!

K

xoxo

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/8vwsr3/fm_i_cheat_on_my_husband_very_long_first_story