[M]y B[F]F shoved a sock filled with my jizz into her abusive ex’s face to confirm that smelled like cum.

Note: This was going to be a TIFU originally but i decided it was more of a pervese karmic journey for a douchebag who deserved it, that was worth the effort and not something I’d take back if could.
All quoted speech is paraphrased because my memory isn’t that good. TLDR at end.

About a week ago after work i visited my bff at the apartment she was housesitting. She mentioned that her ex and her new love interest were also visiting a bit later. I asked if I should go before they arrived,.she said no it’s ok, hang out and meet the new guy, have some drinks, smoke some weed etc. Being broke and offered free booze and weed, I didn’t need to be asked twice.

I should point out now that the girl and I have quite an unusual friendship. We have never had sex but have done many borderline things and talk openly about everything. I guess you could say I’m ffriendzoned but it’s a zone with benefits. Plus we love each other unconditionally and never get jealous of the other’s love interests. For a better idea of how this friendship is, you can read my confession/story about her: [I’m a total perve and am in love with my b(f)f, she knows and is ok with it](https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/86eb9g/im_a_total_perve_and_am_in_love_with_my_bff_she/)

One of the standard things I ask the girl whenever I visit and no one else is around is “How’s your laundry basket?” Which loosely translated means “Do you have any dirty panties that I can take home with me to sniff while i jerk off?” Sometimes she’ll say she just did her laundry and doesn’t have any, other times she’ll say she saved me a really good pair she thinks I’ll like. Usually she’ll say she’s not sure and to go through her basket myself.

I don’t know if it’s just because it’s forbidden fruit to me (though I have had my fingers and tongue up there a few times) but I think she has the best smellng and tasting pussy I’ve ever experienced. Her aroma turns me on (even her armpit smell) and smelling her pussy in her dirty panties while I jerk off usually makes me cum intensely hard. Sometimes just thinking about her smell turns me on. The best wank I ever had while smelling her panties made me cum harder than some of the best sex I’ve had. Not the absolute best, but maybe top 10. She of course loves knowing all about this, it’s a huge ego boost to her to know how good she smells and tastes and how much she turns me on. This whole paragraph isn’t really relevant to the story, but once I start thinking about it it’s hard to get out of that pussy tribute mindset. Moving along.

So before her 2 other guests showed up at the apartment I asked her about her laundry situation. She said she just did her washing and had nothing dirty at all unfortunately. I looked on the floor and saw a pair of her socks next to the bed. “What about these socks? Can I borrow one?” She said “Yes but why? I just took them off so they probably stink like feet.”

I gave it a quick sniff check, but all I could smell was a faint clean sweat smell and laundry detergent. Not dirty enough for my nose, but clean enough for my cock. I said “it smells clean, but I don’t care what it smells like, I still have your panties from last time anyway. I just want to cum in your sock later in case you don’t feel like getting Eiffel Towered by me and your new guy later.” She laughed and said ok, then forgot all about it.

So as the evening went on, booze and weed was had, a lot of one on one time happening between the girl and the ex while J hung out with new guy, who seemed pretty cool. I was worried that she was getting back with her ex, who was a complete loser and who she’d only had sex with once (she didn’t even consider it a relationship). New guy didn’t seem to mind, he hadn’r known her very long and they hadn’t I had sex yet.

In the meantkme while girl had her private conversation with the ex in her bedroom, she asked me if I could find some of her naked pics or home porn on her laptop to show the new guy (who had asked to see it) and I said sure. At the time I thought she was getting back with her ex and the home porn waa like a consolation prize for the nee guy.

But she really was getting rid of the ex. After awhile she came out and said she wanted to go to the shops. New guy says ok let’s go, I was too wasted to go so I’ll keep looking for the laptop porn. So girl and new guy left, I sat in loungeroom with laptop, ex stayed in bedroom feeling sorry for himself. After awhile, the ex came out to the living room and said “I bet they’re fucking.” I hadn’t even thought about it and I said “Oh, what? So?” He mumbled something and went back to the bedroom and closed the door.

So then I thought that they must have gone down to the garage to shag, which made me horny. It was getting late so I decided to do a quick stealth wank into the sock while sniffing the pair of her panties I’d brought with me. The sock was rough on my cock and her panties didn’t have much pussy smell left in them, so it was difficult to get off and I didn’t cum very hard. However, i hadn’t jerked off in over a week so it still only took a few minutes and I pumped a **huge** load into her sock.

I used the inside of the sock to clean myself up to make it as full as possible, fhen stuffed it down the back of the couch. I rang her to say goodbye but it rang out. Rather than interrupt her potential sex adventure, I waited until I got home an hour later and txt’d her saying “in case you’re not back yet, I went home about an hour ago. I left (ex) in your room, he was quiet I don’t know what he was doing in there. I hope you got nailed nice and hard by (new guy), he obviously wanted it bad and you looked like you needed it. Oh and I couldn’t find your porn, but I left you a present in the couch anyway ;-)”

She didn’t reply but a few days later I caught up with her again and we chatted about that evening. She said all the bedroom time spent with ex was making sure he knew it was over and it was never a serious thing anyway. They had sex once and he thought that meant they were a couple and she did her best to let him down gently (don’t know why she bothered)

She also said that she did shag new guy, which remnded me of the wank sock so I asked her if she found it. She said “Oh, did you put that there? I completely forgot you were going to do that. So it’s really was full of cum like I thought. I couldn’t figure out how it got there, i thought someone dropped one of my dirty socks down the back of the couch but it was really heavy and damp like someone stepped in something. I smelled it and I thought this smells like cum so I shoved it straight in (ex’s) face and said ‘Does this smell like cum to you?’ and he looked confused and gave me a filthy look and he shut up.”

He had been following her around the room while she cleaned up, berating her and trying guilt trip her into getting back with him so she was grateful that my cum-loaded sock managed to shut him up, even though she didn’t know what it was at the time.

I cringe-laughed and “oh shit that’s bad! I’d tell him sorry but I don’t want to humiliate him by confirming that you shoved my wank-jizz in his face.” Even though I thought he was a douche I didn’t think he deserved that. She said not to worry and that he totally deserved it because of what he did while he was alone in the apartment.

While he was in her room he ransacked it for who knows what (money or weed I guess) and left it a mess. She had also left her phone at home so he was going through it reading all her messages and blocking virtually every phone number she was in contact with including new guy’s and mine.

When she got back he didn’t mention touching her phone at all, and lied by saying I was going through her room stealing stuff while she was out (if only he knew the truth of what I was really doing), basically sayjng that I was the one who ransacked her room to cover up for him doing it. He slandered me for no reason other than to try saving his pathetic ass. I’ve only ever been polite to him despite thinking he’s a douche. So fuck that cunt.

The irony is I always have permission to search through her stuff anyway. She trusts me not to steal or break anything, and she knows I only do it to find her dirty underwear or to help her find stuff she’s lost. So the guy’s bullshit about me failed on every level. And he got a sock full of my jizz in his face. Plus some splash damage (hopefully). And a new nickname whenever I talk about him from now on.

**TL;DR:** Wanked into my bff’s sock, stuffed it down couch and went home. Msg her to say what I did but she never reads it because the ex blocked my number on her phone while she was out. Later when cleaning lounge while being berated by ex she finds sock in couch, thinks it smells like cum, shoves it in ex’s face to ask him if it smells like cum, ex turns sour and shuts up, all from the showstopping power of my stale jizz in his face.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/8qvhqg/my_bff_shoved_a_sock_filled_with_my_jizz_into_her

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