I got fired from my stripper job for accidental insemination. [NSFW]

About a month ago I worked for a agency that dispersed strippers/ hookers for parties. I've been there for almost 3years. It was one of the most grueling jobs I've ever had. It was so physically demanding. Its like dancing in the shower in front of sometimes hundreds of people for HOURS. So I get a call from dispatch. A couple is getting married and they want a stripper/sex. Nothing I haven't done a handful of times. I take the time to get prepped. They give us the job days in advance (sometimes weeks if they plan that far ahead) but I go to the gym knock off some flab, beat my meat so I don't cum as easily and sleep in the numb condoms so I can't feel anything. I get to the site about 30 women ranging 25-30, and I do my usual act dance, go to the audience, strip and see whose bold enough to take me on. So 10 minutes in a partner of mine comes in and takes the spotlight so I can go off in a corner so I can take it easy dance with the shys. But this bunch here was out of this world hype. They wanted sex sex and more sex. Raw. So I danced and fucked up until this cheeky red head with the tightest vagina I've ever experienced shuffles her way through the crowd to get to me. At this point I'm dying and I'm trying to get out of the room into the back so I can quire literally take a load off. She comes up and grabs my hips and kind of sways with me and hikes up her skirt. I reluctantly rub my dick on her pussy. I go slow rubbing her clit. I try to pull out to go on her face or some place but she turns around pushing against the wall goes the fu nine yards and I just let go. I nutted so hard and she wasn't too happy. She fussed and went to the restroom to clean up and out. A few days later I'm assuming they called to tell what happened. I get called in and they canned me.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3jptdm/i_got_fired_from_my_stripper_job_for_accidental

45 comments

  1. Whether they "allow" it and whether it’s available are two different things.

  2. Any secrets of the trade that you’d like to share? Bodybuilding, endurance, anything for us regular guys out there?

  3. Hips. Always keep your hips in shape. Build around that. Squats, squats, squats. Yeah abs and biceps are nice but if you are going into the field where your practically a male hooker you will need your lower portion to be out of this world. As for endurance dancing wise its more a mental thing. They expect you to run out of stream after about a hour but as for sex running. It builds endurance. I personally did two things. One : I practiced my endurance on a nylon butt using those numbing condoms and two sleeping with hookers. They were professional and I knew them. I would rule out the second one until you decide if you want to get in the stripping field.

  4. Its more of a what do you want kind of thing. You can pay for a stripper or you could pay for a hooker. Its not like it was a establishment if that what you were thinking. We would go to the clients place of choice (I.e their house, place they rented for the night, hotels)

  5. Considering all the shows that you have performed, what is the % that ends in sex with someone of the audience?

  6. Flop side? Was that a mistake? Or something that’s popular to say in your country? We say flipside here.

  7. Ya let’s hope she don’t get knocked up then you have a whole set new problems. GUYS…GO GET A VASECTOMY TODAY! 20 minutes and done..get it done best thing you can do for yourself.

  8. Beating your meat beforehand and numb condoms are of little effect. It’s more psychological+dick lifts that help tremendously.

  9. A firm 80%. Its more like booking dancing hookers. I’ve had parties where all I did was get naked and get touched provocatively. You’d be surprised how many brides-to-be provided their own strap ons. As in peg the stripper and their friends.

  10. We keep seeing women in positons where they are used for sex and it was nice to read a story where a man was getting the same treatment.

  11. Yes. Maids of honor are really peer prussurey. They’re all like "Get in in before your on lockdown."

  12. I preformed mainly on the east coast. I don’t think I could tough Vegas. I went to the strip once. Walking it was a bit too much for me. I don’t get anxiety or anything but it just seemed a little big for me.

  13. Are all the male strippers hung? I would not imagine a guy with an average sized cock would be impressive eye candy.

  14. Depends on your definition of hung. Everybody body has a nice body to complement their penis size. I’m personally a hefty 7 and some change but my butt and testicle size make up for not swaying past my knees.

  15. >"I would not imagine a guy with an average sized cock would be impressive eye candy." There is a lot more to being considered "eye candy" than the size of your dick. Stripper or not.

  16. That’s slightly terrifying. I feel like that attitude is all too pervasive across Western society, whether they’re getting hitched or not, like sex is going short.

  17. The initial shots really hurt, ’cause it’s an injection in your bits and pieces. Don’t picture a syringe per se; it made a quick, sharp hissing noise like a Star Trek hypospray, but felt like a punch to the nuts. We talked about the show Archer between my wincing and teeth-grinding. Sitting around on my ass for a week with an ice pack on my junk was frustrating, and the pain was distracting. I do suggest filling the vicodin prescription, but don’t let any lack of pain convince you to do anything more interesting than, well, sitting on your ass for a week. It’s not the kind of healing you want to do half-assed. Edit: I asked my wife, and she said the most troublesome part for me was the wanking. You gotta wank carefully for that first week, and you’re wanking in an area that’s pretty sore at that point. I’m not talking "gendarmes and dick stitches" here, but as I said, the pain’s rather distracting in general. Certainly no less when it comes to self-abuse.

  18. I just had one done not more than three days ago. All I felt was a very light pinch on the scrotum from the local anesthesia they give you. Since then I have had some light discomfort, and practically no pain. Worst thing so far is that my nuts are tender, and there is a slight tight feeling in my groin. Do your research first. Not every one has the same reactions though.

  19. Lol I thought about what happens after that . I haven’t had any hunt me down over sleeping with a bride. I don’t exactly make it easy to get back in contact with either so I guess that could have stopped some blood thirsty husbands.

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