Note: I originally posted this on my old haunt r/RAOBJ for all of a minute, but realized that maybe I don’t quite fit in there anymore. In any regards, I hope you enjoy the read.
“I admit defeat. I thought that time away from this world would give me clarity; that by choosing to play in the “real” world, I was going to be better, shinier version of myself. In reality, I just ended up being irritable and somewhat boring. I tried filling my time doing those wholesome things I aspired to but as it turns out, knitting is not my forte. A liquid diet of wine and coffee did nothing for my running and I really can’t write for shit unless I do include the words dick, pussy and fuck. Alas, it was a nice effort at propriety, but self deprivation really isn’t a very good look on me.
That being said, I’m going to be in Portland Maine for a few days next week and will be looking for some inspiration. Extra points if you can make me cry.”
Or so the post went…
In the end, Portland was a bust. You can blame scheduling conflicts or an overabundance of dad bods, but most likely it was due to a general ambivalence from yours truly. A friend noted that I have changed since my post back in May. I can’t say I disagree with him. In a year of chasing highs and failed attempts at getting someone out of your head with another someone, you eventually grow weary of the process. It was easier to keep everyone at arm’s length and honestly, it’s kinda refreshing not being so “nice” anymore. I do still have a sense of obligation though and after all that I feel like I owe you a story…so here I am.
My hiatus wasn’t all a waste of time. I discovered some interesting red varietals and finally joined the modern world and watched Game Of Thrones. Oberyn telling us to “make sure to fuck your fill of the world” may be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard, but my heart belongs to Tyrion Lannister and there’s a not-so-small part of me that wishes I could say “Dracarys” and set the world aflame.
I think there are a lot of similarities between me and Dany. Granted, I don’t have dragons, but our sense of purpose and morality are similar. Of course, we also do both have a thing for dark haired lanky introverted intuitives lol. As I cycle back through the decades there have only been a handful that didn’t fit that phenotype and one in particular has been rather difficult for me to shake.
Our relationship can be defined by a series of fuck-and-runs separated by a thousand miles and ambiguous text conversations. A modern day Brokeback Mountain, if you will ;) The first time was commemorated by an ass that was black and blue for a week. I remember when he spanked me, I flinched and he asked if it was too much. I just shook my head and said, “Nah…you can go harder…” We passed out tangled together and when we woke up the next morning, we fucked again for what felt like hours. My parting gift though, was a back massage and a blow job that left him breathless and murmuring “that was fucking hot…you need to come visit me every year…”
It took six men to get him out of my head after that. He has a lot going for him…intelligence and a sense of humor on top of being handsome as hell. That in itself doesn’t mean too much to me though. There’s something else that draws me to him and I can’t quite describe it. I’ve stayed in five star hotels, fucked like a rockstar and lived a fantasy some can only dream of but nothing felt as decadent and carefree as that morning we shared. In truth, my version of luxury doesn’t have to do with money or material things. It’s about being able to lounge in bed, to pretend to stop time, and think about nothing except for the person in front of you.
As intimate and personal as that first tryst was, this year was hallmarked by toeing the line of decency. It’s my fault I suppose, I invited him to be delinquent with me at a work event. That ended up with me being fingered on a bench outside of our hotel at 3 in the morning. While I am no stranger to flights of exhibitionism, it all seemed too risky when a hotel staff member walked by and he shoved me off his lap ever so gracefully haha. We took it back to his hotel room and he whispered how much he loved my obedience before undressing me. Stripping off his clothes next, he positioned us in front of the mirror and cupped both of my breasts before he bent me over the edge of the sink. I think any progress I had made from watching myself in homemade videos had been lost in recent months, so I admit, it was hard to see myself naked in front of him. Maybe he sensed this because he commanded I look at myself and told me I had an amazing body before he sunk his fingers into me. Teasing me for a few moments, he spanked my ass with his free hand, creating a resounding crack that echoed as much in sound as it did in pain. It wasn’t lost on him how much wetter I became after that and I had to bite my hand to keep from moaning as he moved in me, throwing in a spank here and there to keep things interesting. Eventually though, he had to call it. Too much alcohol and too little sleep was starting to get to him and I said it was alright as I began to get dressed. I didn’t expect him to ask if I would stay with him, but I agreed with the caveat he set his alarm for 6:30 so I could catch my flight home.
I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I couldn’t help myself and gave him a fluttering kiss on the neck when I woke up. His skin always has an addictive salty quality to it and I went in again for another. He stirred enough to let me know that he was aware of what I was doing and I found myself on top of him, grinding my hips against his, silently asking for more. Operating on a level just below consciousness, we managed to get our clothing off so he could slide into me. I stifled a gasp when he filled me and bucked my hips forward, once again pleading for more. We were moving in slow motion; each touch and stroke reverberated into the next as if I was in the midst of an MDMA high but it was the need for silence that heightened everything. It was all sorts of fucked up, but I can’t deny how hot it was to feel his hand on my throat and watch him keep one eye on his sleeping roommate as we fucked. (I did mention a lack of decency, didn’t I?) He broke the trance by murmuring something, but it was too quiet for me to hear. He repeated himself again, moving my shirt up as his way of telling me he was about to cum. Pulling himself out, he came hard but quietly all over my stomach. Afterwards, he went to the bathroom and I took the opportunity to examine his handiwork. He came back to catch me swirling my fingers through it and I held his gaze as I moved my fingers into my mouth and sucked his cum off of them. Maybe it was my imagination, but I swear I saw him shake his head in disbelief.
He handed me a towel to clean up and collapsed next to me. I looked at the time and allowed myself a few more minutes before heading back to reality. Finally, I had to jet and I gave him a silent kiss on the forehead as my farewell. I barely had 15 minutes to pack my bags and get changed before heading to the airport so I skipped the shower. The horror of what we had done didn’t set in until I was sitting in the Uber, smelling very much like his cum and wondering if his roommate had really been asleep.
I haven’t really talked to him since. I’ve contemplated a bit about our dynamic but it’s fairly hard to catch his attention once you’re out of the line of sight. Besides, it’s become alarmingly clear that our personalities don’t really mesh outside of the bedroom. It’s unavoidable that our paths will continue to cross, but there’s no expectation that we’ll pick up where we left off. In the meantime, I’ll continue trying to forget him all over again. Lol…maybe I’ll throw in a few blondes to try and buck the trend. Or cave in and allow the Domme in me to come out for a bit. In any regards, there’s probably a massive hate fuck in my future ;) Until that time comes, I wish you all the best.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/7hwbnt/fm_failure_to_launch