[MF] “One rule: no kissing” – A wild night with the divorced comedy club host

I (29M) recently moved to a new city and I’ve been trying to meet people in different ways, one of which has become attending a networking event that turns into a comedy show once per week. The first time I went, one of the comedians actually played wingman for me to get a girl’s number, while nothing interesting happened the second time. This particular night, I walked in, grabbed my first drink and approached a group of people, half a dozen or so guys and two girls. I introduced myself to the group, which is how I met “Kathy” (35F).

Sporting a black top and a white jacket over it, matching her white pants, Kathy stood about 5’10” with her thick blond hair, absolutely sexy in every way. We shook hands, struck up small talk and that was it. I learned that she was one of the hosts of the comedy show that night. We all migrated to other groups and eventually I found myself back with Kathy, where we discovered that we had a mutual hobby, especially unusual in a male dominated category. We exchanged numbers, which seemed more friendly than flirty at the time, and went our separate ways.

“Hey, are you still here?” Kathy texted me as the show started. She hadn’t seen me take my seat.

“Yes, I’m by the table we were near earlier!” I responded.

A few moments later, I felt a hand graze my shoulder. Kathy bent down next to me. “Isn’t he funny?” She asked me about the comedian in a whisper, then referenced one of his prior jokes. “Hey, I’ll catch you in a bit, I’m going to sit with my friends.”

I found myself looking over at her table, maybe 30 feet from mine. Next to me, one of the men I had become acquainted with earlier in the night, probably in his 50s, seemed bothered by this sudden flirtatious interaction I was having with Kathy. Whatever, you snooze, you lose pal.

Another comedian started their routine and Kathy returned to my side for a moment, gently squeezing my shoulder as she walked to the bar. That’s when it hit me. *I need to go out with this chick, ASAP*.

If this situation happened earlier in my life, I would have taken her number, left the club, texted her the next day and probably never seen her again. But this is “Gone Wild Stories,” so clearly that didn’t happen.

Fast forward 90 minutes. I walked to the bar to close out as Kathy and I are making small talk.

“Well, I guess that’s it for tonight,” Kathy said as she appeared ready to leave.

“It doesn’t have to be,” I said. “Let’s grab a drink.”

“Hmm, where do you have in mind?”

*Holy shit, this is happening*. I thought, as I led her down the street to a rooftop bar that we both happened to enjoy. I don’t remember anything about the conversation we had as we wandered through the heart of the city to the rooftop, but I remember not being able to take my eyes off of her, and it seemed that she was doing the same to me.

“I just got divorced, it’s a mess,” she confessed, later admitting she hadn’t felt attracted to anyone since then. Like me, she had recently moved to town and the topic turned to taking chances in life.

“You know, I kinda want to take a chance right now.” I said confidently.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.” I immediately leaned in and planted my lips onto hers, which immediately resulted in our tongues swirling around each other. You know those “wow” moments? Yep, this was one of those. All I could say seconds later was, “that didn’t suck.”

“No, you’re good,” she admitted. I dove back in for seconds. “Fuck,” she panted, “I haven’t felt into someone in a long time.”

*Boost my ego, why don’t you, Kathy?*

The conversation became more flirty. There was more touching and the tension was building. She decided she wanted to buy the next round of drinks, when suddenly…

“Fuck!” She exclaimed.

“What is it?”

“My credit card!” She frantically searched her purse. “Fuck, it’s gone, that card is my life.”

“When was the last time you used it?” We pinpointed that it had to be the bar she went to before the comedy club, but they just closed ten minutes prior. “Let’s just go. Someone has to be there.”

We backtracked halfway to the comedy club, to the bar we hoped Kathy’s card ended up and by a stroke of luck, they had it.

“I’m not ready to call it a night,” I said, leaving the bar that had closed.

“Let’s try this place,” Kathy replied, pointing to a new bar that neither of us had tried.

—

“Fuck, you’re good,” Kathy admitted again following another makeout, this time at the new bar.

“You’re so hot,” I confessed.

“So are you.”

She used her recently rescued credit card to buy the final round of drinks before we left the bar, as the crowd died out. I still wasn’t ready for the night to end.

“You can walk me home if you want, but that’s it.” Kathy instructed. I obliged, but within two blocks, I pulled her to me and backing up against a building, our tongues were buried in each other’s mouths again. And again. And again.

We overshot her building and sat along the water, several kisses occurring throughout the following ten minutes.

“Well, this would be a good place for you to call an Uber,” Kathy said sternly.

“I agreed to walk you to your place,” I responded, and we walked towards her building’s entrance. Right by the door, another makeout ensued.

Kathy took a deep breath and sighed. “Fine,” she started, “you can come up, but there’s one rule: no kissing.” I laughed and agreed to her terms.

I anxiously followed to the elevator and to her apartment, greeted by her adorable dog. She offered me a drink and went to the bathroom in her bedroom. When she re-emerged, she wore an oversized t-shirt and a black thong.

“Get in,” she hopped on her bed.

“What’s the dress code?” I asked.

“Underwear.”

I was down to my boxers on command and climbed under the covers. Kathy flipped through her Netflix and I think chose a medical reality show, but I wasn’t paying attention.

We were both becoming a bit drowsy but the sexual tension was out of control.

“So,” I needed to take another chance, “rules are meant to be broken, right?” She nodded slightly and I turned towards her, our tongues deep into each other’s mouths nearly immediately again.

My fingers crawled beneath her shirt, caressing up her silky soft skin and I felt my growing bulge poke against her bare leg through my boxers. Our tongues kept swirling around each other as my hands reached her spectacularly round C cups. My bulge swelled up again. My hands cupped her breasts, gently squeezing them and I felt her body convulse to my touch.

I sat her up and tugged her shirt over her head, revealing her incredible body for the first time. Again, swelling! I wasted no time running my hands all over her, lowered my mouth to each of her tits, teasing her and causing her to let out a slight moan. My hands wandered down her body and over her thong, pausing between her legs and feeling her soaking through them. I felt her body shudder to my touch as I yanked her thong down her legs and off her feet.

My hands settled on her inner thighs, my bulge raging as I laid between her legs and my two fingers trickled towards her, feeling the wetness as they approached. I could feel her body begging them to slide into her. My fingers poked between her walls and into her, becoming drenched instantly, and slid deep into her. Kathy moaned as I flicked my fingers upwards and slid in and out of her. I stretched out my thumb until I found her clit.

I leaned in further until my tongue met her clit, as my fingers continued their dive deep into her, and I flicked my tongue over her clit for a moment until Kathy said, “I want you in me now.”

I wasn’t going to argue with her! I ripped off my boxers and climbed over her, staring down at her sexy curves, and my fully swollen cock pressed up against her and effortlessly buried itself in her.

“Fuck!” We both announced simultaneously. I sat up over her, looking down and watching myself thrust at a gradual pace, then leaned over her, my chest hovering over her busty tits. I shifted my hips side to side, making a circular motion for a few seconds before accelerating my pace. She tightened around me and somehow became more soaked. Each thrust exceeded the prior and our breathing became heavier as the feeling intensified.

“I want to get on top,” she whimpered.

*Good idea, because I don’t want to erupt yet*, I thought. We quickly switched positions and within seconds, I watched her engulf every inch of me as her sensational body began to bounce. I matched her movements, thrusting up into her and watching her tits freely swaying over me and I grabbed her hips, firmly holding them. She guided her hips in a twerking motion as she bounced up and down, and we could barely contain the ascending feeling. I could have alternated being on top and bottom and watching her body while fucking her all night.

“Doggie,” I instructed, whispering in her ear. She obliged and shoved her ass, which was somehow just as incredible as her tits, at me. I gave it a firm smack and stuffed myself into her again, my hands holding her hips and I began thrusting at full speed. She moaned, and moaned, and moaned. I’m not sure I’ve heard a more sexy sound in my life. My body clapped up against hers like a cheerful fan at a concert as I shoved myself as deep into her as I could, alternating kneeling straight up and leaning over her back.

I held on for as long as I could, slamming my cock into her and earning a moan each time.

“Fuck!” We both said again. Within seconds, I collapsed on the bed next to her, still admiring the body laying beside me.

—

I left her place at the crack of down and headed back to mine.

Part two would take place a couple nights later. Should I share part two next?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/11dezrg/mf_one_rule_no_kissing_a_wild_night_with_the