The weirdest and funniest requests I get on reddit [F]

First I apologize for my poor English, it is not my first language and I live in Asia at the moment

I do not often get to check the reddit chat and there are sometimes 10000s of requests, I try to answer all when I have time, but sometimes I come across such requests that make me laugh or make my hair stand on end. In this post I want to tell you about the most amusing queries. But before I do, I want to clarify something. Yes I have a very high sex drive, yes I love sex very much.

Yes I’m married but that doesn’t stop me from having sex with other guys and girls, but for some reason a lot of people think it’s enough to text me like: “Hey Hey, I wanna fuck you right now” and I’ll kinda leave everything and rush to the other end of the world just to satisfy his desire. Are you serious? I don’t fuck everyone around me! I only have sex with people I like and am interested in.

And now I’ll tell you about the funniest requests.

1. Someone’s mom wrote me that her 38-year-old son is very shy, but he really liked me and asked me out. However, she will be also on the our date and then decide whether I am good enough for her son. What’s interesting is that I have to buy my own plane ticket, pay for my own hotel room and share of the restaurant bill. And I also have to divorce my husband and provide medical tests that I am perfectly healthy. Great! I’m going to drop everything right now and rush out to buy a ticket to the other side of the world to meet this gorgeous, shy guy and his beautiful mommy.

2. At least once a day I get this tempting offer: ***Buy me a ticket and pay the hotel, I’ll come to you and fuck you like no one has ever fucked you! You’ll come 10 times from my huge cock, which I’m sending you a picture of.*** Shit. Do people really think I would do that?

3. ***Send me a naked picture of yourself.*** There is no hello, no good afternoon, no how are you? Just send me a naked picture of yourself right now. It’s really annoying.

4. ***Help me lose my virginity.*** Yeah, sure, that’s my profession, all I do all day is help to virgins.

5. ***I’ll pay for your virginity operation and then I want to have sex with you.*** Whaaat???

6. ***I want to be your sugar daddy but you have to divorce your husband and come to me, I’ll rent you an apartment and fuck you whenever I want, but you can’t leave it without me. You must always walk around naked and meet me at the door on your knees to give me a blowjob right away.*** What a great times for the next few years. This is what I have been dreaming about, I have to drop everything and go to this dude.

7. ***Send me right now how you jerk off and call my name so I can cum. Right now. Urgent. Don’t make me wait. Hey, where are you? I almost came! Hurry up.*** I’m not even gonna comment on that.

8. ***I don’t have any money right now, give me full access to your account, I’ll pay when I can.*** Apparently will never pay.

9. ***I’ll be in such a city tomorrow I have only 4 hours to spare, come to me and we’ll fuck.***

10. One week ago a girl wrote to me: ***I want to give my husband a birthday present, urgently come to the other side of the world in two days, after the restaurant I want you to lie on the bed tied up in a uniform. My husband loves anal sex so your ass must be ready. I will videotape everything but don’t worry it’s for our family archive, we won’t show anyone. Text me as soon as you read this message. It’s very urgent!***

11. ***Here’s a picture of my dick, give him a video rating with a squirt right now.***

12. Guy from India is a genius: ***Come to me, I will cum in you so you get pregnant. I have the best sperm, but only you and I will know about it.*** And I have to fly again on my own money.

13. A retired military man offered me: ***I will send you my sperm by mail, please add it to your morning coffee, as soon as it runs out I will send more. And send me daily photo proof.***

14. ***Send me a list of all the places you squirted.*** Apparently he bought a map and doesn’t know what to put on it. So mark all of Asia, I’ve squirted almost everywhere.

15. ***Name exactly what airline you work for and your flight schedule.*** Cool. Should I just put that information on my profile? Then everyone would know exactly where and when I fly and it would be so much fun watching a whole plane of my fans who I should be fucking right now on the flight.

16. ***You don’t appreciate being a woman. A woman should be chaste and only give herself to one man, you should dress modestly, not flirt or talk to other men. A girl is meant to give happiness to one man.*** Oh, fuck off! What the hell you doing on NSFW reddit pages?

And there are a lot of requests like that. If you are interested I will keep such requests and continue such a post.

I understand that everyone has his own fantasies in his head, but there are some basic communication skills. You can say hello first, put a smiley emoji, ask how you are, start some light flirting. You don’t have to aspire to be my sexual partner, you can just be a friend. I have a lot of friends, many of them know about my sex life, but we do not fuck, we are just friends, this is also fun.

For example I have a friend Sila, she is transgender from Australia, very beautiful and hot girl. No one can ever understand that she is transgender, I compared to her ugly ugly. Her legs drive both men and women crazy. We often even sleep together but we have never had sex, we can just talk for hours. Although one time I just had to be in the room where she was having sex with her boyfriend. It was fun.

A lot of people say that if I put up such hot pics and vids on my profile, it means I can’t live without sex and all I want is dicks. Nothing like that, I have my own vision of sexuality, I like to seduce and have all kinds of sex, but not with everyone. Have I been in a relationship with anyone from reddit? Yes I have. I’ve found both friends and sexual partners.

I’m a very busy with flights so I don’t always get a chance to write a story but rest assured that when I write a story I’m always super horny and right now I’m only typing with one hand because my other hand is in the other wet spot :)

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/118wu9n/the_weirdest_and_funniest_requests_i_get_on