[F] I’m a muslim who is desperate to be slutty and has made a slut bucket list UPDATE

Hi!! So it’s been two years since I made that first post and I felt an update was due.

Honestly I was initially planning to post more and track my journey through overcoming my sexual repression, but I got so overwhelmed I slinked away. I was scared someone I know might find out (even now..). And partly the sexual shame and overthinking held me back from broadcasting it. Still, regularly opening this account and touching to the messages I got….the response was amazing. Words of encouragement from so many people both really turned me on and really encouraged me. I thought people are deserved an update.

I feel so much more in control of my sexuality than when I wrote that and I am so happy about the progression. I do feel like I’m developing into a full slut. And I will continue!

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The old bucket list:
– Omegle challenge X
– Give a blowjob
– Post lingerie pictures online X
– Recieve oral
– Eat a cunt out
– Make out with a guy X
– Make out with a girl X
– Be seen naked in person X
– See a man naked in person X
– See a woman naked in person (in sexual context) X

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So!!! In two years I managed to make out with people and be nude. Still haven’t done oral but… I have plans with a guy.

Interestingly I kind of…got around my hang ups around sexuality by taking part more in kink. Things like shibari and impact play. So for the past two years I’ve regularly met up with men but stayed clothed whilst they tied me and spanked me (and me doing the same to them). In some ways this felt less intimidating as it fulfilled my sexual desires without outright being what I’d been warned off from doing. Even staying the night at their homes whilst lying to my mom about how I’m staying at a female friends house. I’m lucky that I’ve met mostly understanding men who respect my very specific boundaries. I’ve used vibrators with them over my underwear and increasingly escalated. Going on dates but pretending I’m going for work events or study dates. Staying the night at a guys and pretending I’m sleeping at a girl’s house.

A part of me feels like I want this all to be much faster! It’s literally taken me two years to go from wanting to see dick, to seeing dick in a sexual context. I wish I could do more sooner but the sexual shame makes it so slow. It’s not even that I avoid sexual things – I am obsessed, I masturbate and cum up to five times a day (instead of read prayer, LOL). My libido is high and I am constantly thinking horny thoughts. Just, the shame gets in the way with other people in person. And it will take me time but I will be kind to myself and get there slowly. I tend to hold back and not do much then – suddenly I feel so horny and slutty and confident and I’ll jump forwards. Like the first time I was nude!

Being sexual online has helped me feel more comfortable. It feels safer because I feel anonymous. Just another pair of tits and holes. I joined kik groups online to show my body to more people and get more comfortable. It turned me on so much to know that others would get off to my body. My mom saw nudes on my phone and tried to invite the man to my house with his parents to discuss marriage. I panicked. I don’t know this man! I was sending nudes to many strangers on the internet. I’d never seen most of their names or faces. (What did she want, dozens of men to suddenly turn up at the door?) I couldn’t admit that to my mom, that I’m exposing my body to strangers. That’s worse. I lied and said they were just for me. She didn’t believe it but dropped it.

And then I finally crossed the boundary of nudity in person in the past few months. I went to a sex party with a friend and saw nude people in person for first time. It felt so norma. I was dressed in a red lingerie set with garter belt and red stockings and I felt so sexy. It was late, I was tired, horny, and so excited. We were in a private enclosure together and I was sitting on my friend and kissing her. I suddenly felt so compelled to strip so I did. Planning to put clothes on when we left this enclosure.

But then suddenly we smelt smoke, so we panicked and rushed out. So then I was nude in front of so many people. But it was normal. So normal. I felt so free and comfortable. It was dim lighting so I couldn’t see properly and people probably couldn’t make me out too well but still – I was nude in their presence. My standard in daily life is to not show my arms, elbows, don’t show too much of my neck. I get berated if my shins show, if my leggings are too tight. But then now – suddenly, I am nude in front of so many people. It’s encouraged. It was amazing.

I still live at home so I have to be very secretive about this all (even my bisexuality would cause extreme outrage, my casual sluttery is…so so haram). But I am so proud of where I’ve got to now so wanted to share that! To go from having to be fully clothed and innocent at home then nude at sex parties making out with other women. I’m happy.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/1188jgs/f_im_a_muslim_who_is_desperate_to_be_slutty_and