*Hi Dirk,*
*Believe it or not, I was able to sleep last night, but I had nightmares about him again. For some strange reason he came as an evil cartoon on my computer and I was trying to delete him. I used to love dreams. Both good and bad, they’re funny lots of times either way.*
*Lily*
**S**he had long since surpassed being just an internet association of his, Dirk thought, she had morphed into his far-off fantasy girl as they had chatted through online messages.
Delightfully child-like in appearance, Lily, was anything but juvenile to his vivacious hormones. So thoughtfully sweet and soft in manner, so vulnerable and dainty, it was as if she were too rare or exquisite to lay self-indulgent hands upon.
Still, he might be tempted to ravish her, if an opportunity were ever to present itself; knowing she was a bit on the submissive side; his obtaining that much out of her imagination, at least.
He needed to do what he could to bring her enjoyment of any sort to maintain her attention as best he could. After all, she was a rising amateur model on an adult website. Dirk abruptly parried the nature of her profession.
*She has to get through school one way or another. She has a mind as well.*
It was just two people doing what they could to get by in life, trying to enjoy themselves in the process, he concluded. Her a struggling college student, and him a very lonely man.
Despite all he had were a few risqué photos of her and a computer full of online chat transcripts, the places she took his imagination were endless. Thoughts of what he knew could not possibly come to pass between them, stirred his very soul. If ever a woman might come made to order, she would come in a likeness to his petite, demure new friend from France.
Sighing audibly, he found himself wondering how he could have such strong feelings toward someone he never met.
*How does a girl inside a hard drive amount to so much?*
He was reluctant to let on to her; and only somewhat willing to acknowledge himself, how eager he was to forsake his masculinity; his dominant manly genes, and submit himself sensually to her every whim. If she were ever so inclined, that is. At any rate, he knew that should he ever have the chance to maltreat her in a sexual way or not, despite any of her own intimate tendencies, such behavior from him with her would not come to pass.
*She’s like fine french wine, not something to be grotesquely pawed.*
He loved the way her manner made him feel alive again and set him at ease. Her innocent, sporadic sense of humor, he found uniquely attractive compared with other models he interacted with sharing her same cyber platform.
He had seen his share of entrepreneurial-minded ladies in Lily’s profession, but there was more to learn about this particular creature than what only his body desired, he asserted to himself.
*She is where there is all of me.*
That she could attract any man she put her mind to, Dirk knew only too well, yet here she was steadily communicating with him. It was as if to him that she was becoming as devoted as he had become to her. Yet he was certain that she was not leading him on in any sort of manner. Not so much as an innuendo of any attraction toward him, did he get from her. Her partially nude photos; as stunning as they still were to him; which he currently indulged in on his desktop computer, were all he had.
*Why would there be any attraction? I’m thrice her age.*
Content to prolong his ceaseless attraction from afar, it felt perfectly normal for him to think of his perpetually modest, yet sexy cyber companion he had come to rely on for female stimulus, as just a dream girl. Her being thousands of miles away and only a remote part of his existence, in some uncharted sense, seemed tolerable to him.
*Nothing could ever happen out of this.*
He would not let the distance between them stop his communicating regularly with her.
Dirk fidgeted abruptly in his office chair. He had thought he had just decided that such an intangible, remote relationship was a pipe dream come to life. Confusedly, he admonished and then reminded himself to practice navigating the pitfalls of unbridled affection.
*Just leave her in your imagination, where she belongs.*
With subdued anxiety, he realized that should ever actually be in Lily’s company he would not be anything to her but a friend. Frowning, he gritted his teeth and then rubbed his eyes. It would be wiser, he had long since surmised; in his conscious mind at least, for him to go slowly and carefully with the unusual, long-distance relationship he nurtured. The last thing he wanted, was to turn her off in some fashion.
To keep any erotic thoughts of his subjugation to her to himself, would be difficult for him to handle unless she might reciprocate by adopting a role like he wished she would, he admitted to himself. Until she would be part of his fantasy he had to remain wary and practice chivalry of a sort. He did not want his desire to appear pathetic. Her continual companionship alone had become too significant to him to compromise with implausible thoughts, whether they be fact or fantasy.
Dirk leaned forward, then closed his computer folder of Lily’s photos as if he were able to easily do so. His thoughts shifted to the newest chat message she had sent to him still minimized at the bottom of his monitor. He re-opened the application.
*Just who is it exactly she keeps having nightmares about?*
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/zoc2vn/virtual_crescendo_fact_vs_fantasy_m60_f20_novel