My best friend fucked my dad’s best friend and none of us are over it [FM]

*Yeah… This is not a sexy story. This is strictly for humor, but feel free to read on if you’re trying to laugh instead of climax.*

This is an unexpected twist, but I have a great relationship with my father. He’s a very good person who thinks I’m the absolute best human on earth.

He has this best friend who is infinitely cooler than anyone I know. Im going to name him Fred in this story.

Fred is from Australia and has a heavy accent. He used to be a skydive instructor, he volunteered at an elephant sanctuary for a year in Thailand, and he once recreated Che Guevara’s motorcycle trip around South America.

Fred has always felt more like a peer than a parental figure. He’s kind of immature and likes to tease me.

He doesn’t own a pan and has three changes of clothes. This should be a red flag because he’s kind of a child, but he’s also endearing. He has money because he knows a really solid trade, but he is a free-spirit and doesn’t seem to care much about wealth.

Fred also happens to be about ten years younger than my dad and admittedly super hot. I’ve known him since I was 17 so I don’t really think of him like that, but he gets laid a lot and I understand the appeal.

So I also have a best friend I’m going to name Sadie. Sadie and I have been best friends since we were literally 10. She still lives in my hometown, but we’re inseparable when we’re in the same place. She’s like another sibling, a solid fixture in my life. She lived with me for a year in high school, so she’s really close to my family too.

Sadie is also really hot…

So when I was 22 my Dad asked me to housesit for a weekend while he was out of the country. He has a lot of animals that require care and I had a break from law school.

I did what any responsible 22 year old does and invited all my old friends from high school over for a party.

*Fuck, I’m officially to the part of the story where I’m cringing.*

The party was in full swing and the badly mixed drinks were pouring freely. We were all having a great time until disaster ensued…

Sadie’s boyfriend broke up with her over a text while we were there and she for super bummed for a bit. He was a douche so I was secretly happy, but I hated to see her that upset. Plus, she was drinking like a fish after that.

The evening was still going decent when Fred walked in. He’s had a key to my house for forever and him and my dad hang everyday, but I wasn’t expecting him that evening.

He took one look around and burst out laughing. “Viola, your dad is going to kill you,” he giggled in a heavy Australian accent.

“He won’t if you don’t tell him. Why are you even here?”

“He asked me to drop off his paintball gun.”

*I chose not to change that part. They go paint balling together like grown ass men…Theyre in a league and everything.*

“Please don’t tell him.”

“I don’t know. I feel like I’m betraying parental trust.”

“I’m an adult and you’re not a parent. What if you stayed and had a drink?”

So Fred stayed and had a drink. In fact, Fred got quite drunk. He has special whisky he keeps at my dad’s house and was taking swigs from the bottle as he told stories about South America and lion taming.

*Again, Fred is an objectively interesting dude. My friends were into him.*

Fred and Sadie had known each other for a couple of years but I don’t think we had ever all “partied together.” Sadie was sad that night though and Fred did his best to comfort her…

“You know what Sadie?” He asked with genuine warmth. “There was a baby elephant at the sanctuary I worked at. And she was so sad because her mother died at a pivotal point in her adolescence and she couldn’t bond like the other elephants. There was another boy elephant who wouldn’t even play with her. However, the sweet girl eventually became the favorite of staff. She got the most bananas and was the most beautiful.”

*Fred is not great with metaphors.*

My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head. “What part of that is supposed to help with her breakup? Is Sadie an unloved elephant?”

“Shut up, Viola!” Sadie shot back. “I think it’s beautiful. Fred, what was the elephant’s name?”

And thus began the most awkward night of my life.

It didn’t start out that weird. It was mostly just Fred giving kind-hearted, albeit a little misguided, words of wisdom while Sadie ate everything up with a spoon. I watched this unfold and was mildly confused, but I thought maybe she just needed an adult to comfort her.

*I didn’t feel like an adult at 22.*

Things took a turn when my friend insisted we play “spin the bottle.” We had a rule that you didn’t have to kiss the person it landed on but you had to kiss SOMEONE before your turn ended.

Fred landed on me.

I shuddered and pretended to gag. “I’m making a rule that you have to be under 30 to play this game.”

“Viola!” My guy friend complained, “You can’t make a rule halfway through the game.”

*I think he wanted to kiss Fred.*

“You can kiss me,” Sadie offered.

“Cheers!” Fred announced quickly.

Before I could stop it, the two of them locked lips and weren’t exactly fast about their turn. They lingered on each other and I watched him bite her lip gently as he put a hand to her face.

“I don’t want to play anymore,” I announced as I got up and went to the kitchen.

Fred came in a moment later and gave me a shot of whisky. “Are you mad I kissed your friend?”

“Mad? No. You’re 18 years older than her though. You’re an entire age of consent older than her.”

“What’s the oldest man you’ve kissed, V?” He laughed as he took a swig of whisky. “Or woman? Your Dad thinks you’re dating a girl.”

“He KNOWS I’m dating a girl. I’ve told him three times and he keeps pretending we’re friends.”

“Give him time. Seriously, I won’t kiss any more of your friends. I thought it was a game.”

I sighed and rubbed my temple. “Maybe you should.”

“Really?” He asked as an eyebrow shot up. “Why?”

“She keeps dating douches and she’s never had an orgasm during sex. And…”

“And what?”

I put a hand to my face and groaned. “You strike me as someone who eats pussy.”

“Just like you!” He laughed as he punched my shoulder. “You don’t have to worry though, I don’t want to have sex with Sadie.”

“Why? She’s hella hot.”

“She’s a drunk girl at a party, Viola. I’m almost forty. This isn’t the way.”

“So? Stay the night and fuck her in the morning. That’s what I do when I want to fuck a drunk person. Sober hangover sex is the best.”

“Oh to be young… That’s tempting, but no.”

“Why? You fuck girls all the time?”

“What? Why do you know that?”

“This town has like 500 people, dude. People talk. Do you seriously think I don’t know you fucked two of my high school teachers and my middle school bully? Thanks for that, by the way. You’re rewarding bad behavior.”

“I never fucked any of them. I make love.”

“Don’t make me gag again.”

“No really, I appreciate your confidence in my abilities but I’m not interested in Sadie. She’s like a daughter to your dad. I think he might shoot me.”

“I doubt he’d care. He found my condoms once and told me to switch brands because the kind I had broke too often. He was right.”

Fred put a hand on my shoulder and sighed. “Viola if I ever have a daughter I suspect she’ll scare the hell out of me just like you.”

“Oh fuck off. Stop acting like a parent,” I said as I went back to our party.

Fred really was cool. We all played beer pong as he talked about his travels. I was kind of annoyed by how much my friends liked him actually, and Sadie was not the only girl eyeing him that night.

“Did you ever get married, Fred?” Sadie finally asked.

“No, I’ve never wanted to settle down. I love women though.”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

*Again I was rolling my eyes in the corner.*

“I’ve just always preferred the company of women. I find women charming… Not only to make love either. I just love it when someone opens their mind to me. And heart.”

*Gag.*

So it finally got late and I actually put Sadie to bed in my room. She was drunk enough that she passed out quickly and stopped being sad.

Meanwhile Fred was too drunk to drive so I set him up in Dad’s room and went to sleep on our rec room with everyone else… It just so happens the couch I was sleeping on shares a wall with my dad’s room.

So the other part of this story is that two of my guy friends also had sexual tension and hadn’t yet figured out they were gay. I woke up at 4:00am to them talking about it. Naturally, I pretended to be asleep because they were incredibly insecure and I didn’t want to be a bother… Especially when I heard them making out.

I mean, don’t get me wrong because I’m all for the magic of sexual realization. However, in moments like that I really wish I wasn’t a light sleeper.

I was about to pretend to wake up slowly when I heard a banging on the other side of the wall and the word “mate.”

Fred and Sadie were fucking in my dad’s bed.

I had heard Sadie fuck many times throughout the years. Hell, the two of us had almost gotten weird a few times. I had also seen Fred’s girlfriend and secretly supported his crusade of fucking women in my conservative hometown. Finally, I fully support my two best guy friends as they realized their sexuality.

I am a sex positive person, damn it!

It would just be cool if I didn’t have the front row seat to ALL of this.

The worst part is Fred apparently DID make love and was really good at whispering sweet nothings. I could hear him telling her how beautiful she was and how he had to “taste her cunt.” She said she was embarrassed, but apparently she got over it because the next thing I heard was her moaning as he explained how good she tasted.

I knew things were going to get worse when my heard my guy friend gasp in the corner (*I’m pretty sure a handjob was given*) and I heard Fred say he wanted to flip her over. He apparently went hard then because I just felt the wall knocking against me while my friends did hand stuff in the corner.

Jesus Christ.

I tried to sing a song in my head, recite the alphabet backwards, and mentally go over my Crim Pro outline. Nothing could quite distract me from Sadie moaning and Fred complimenting her ass.

I heard a shudder from the corner and thanked heavens there was no reciprocation and FINALLY heard Fred finish.

I was very happy for all of them… And entirely traumatized.

The story gets worse.

I woke up around 9:00 and dragged myself to the kitchen and started cleaning up.

My father fucking walked in a day early.

At first he looked around and laughed. “If a single thing is broken you’re going to replace it. I hope it was worth it.”

“Um… Yeah. Do you want to grab breakfast?”

“I just got home.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you. Let’s forget this mess and go grab breakfast.”

He wanted to put his bag down and change. I tried but I could not stop it. He marched straight to his room.

According to Sadie, Her and Fred were spooning naked. As much as that image sucks for me, I don’t think it’s quite as bad as the way it will forever be burned in my father’s memory.

We have never spoken of this, and Fred and Sadie are basically always still at my house when I come home. I think they secretly dated after that, but I never wanted to know.

Oh also my two guy friends are indeed gay married.

Having slutty friends is chaos.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/z1740s/my_best_friend_fucked_my_dads_best_friend_and