[Features: VR, yaoi, femboys, romance, passionate sex]
I walked by a waterfall. It was always the little things that struck me while in VR. How I wish I could feel the heat of the sun or the mist from the spray. I always did like exploring new worlds and new places but not every one of them made me feel, jealous? Envious? I wasn’t sure what the right word was. What word was there for wanting something that was at least decades out of reach? I didn’t know.
“Baki! What are you doing way over here? Oh hey! You updated your model!”
I smiled. Both in game and out of it. Even If I couldn’t exactly feel anything in VR, it was still one of the best experiences I could have ever hoped for. After all, where else could I have gotten such a cute boyfriend?
“You didn’t tell me you were hopping on Nova! You should have messaged me.”
“Bah, I saw you were online and joined you, what, you want me to send you a text every time I take a breath too?”
VR was weird. Names for starters. You got to choose your own names online, because of course you did, but it was different when it wasn’t just over a discord call or a in game chat or etc, but someone ostensibly standing right in front of you, calling you by that name. That was the first weird thing, among thousands.
I had a bit more immersion than other people. Phantom touch was something I was told about early on and it sounded pretty stupid to me at first. Apparently, for some people, they could feel it if someone touched them in VR. For some unknown reason. I, of course, didn’t believe that… till Nova ran his hand down my face and I partially freaked out when I felt it. It wasn’t like there was actually a hand there, but it was weird. Too, too real given it was just a screen over my face.
Nova had just laughed at me. He was one of the first people I met in the game. He got to show me around and introduce me to all sorts of things. It was, amazing. I had gotten a headset because VR sounded cool and played vrchat because it was not only the most popular, but also because it was free. And everything just kept surprising me.
The first time I saw people talk and it actually felt like they were talking, as their eyes and mouths moved, as their hands and bodies mimicked their actual movements, it was like watching someone move through a sheet but, more? That’s how it felt to me at least. Holograms was the word that always came to my mind.
The first time I had ridden a dragon, or sailed on a pirate ship, or piloted a jet. They all were so much more than I expected them to be. Even if I couldn’t actually feel those like I did when someone was touching me, they were more than nothing. As if they were a third of the way to being real.
VR was great but I think that just made me more upset. I wanted it to be even more real. To be like it was in manga and anime, to be deep dive, to actually feel the controls of a jet in my hand, to feel the salty breeze pass over my face, to hold Nova in my arms and… but it was all just, a hologram in a way.
I heard a snapping sound.
“What the…”
“Like it? I added it to my model recently. You always space out so now I can literally snap you out of it.”
“You’re a dork.”
He poked me in the nose and laughed.
I looked up at him. Nova had never really changed his avatar much. If you were any normal person, you’d be excused for thinking he looked female. That was just how VR was. No, he had a femboy avatar, just one that leaned towards the lanky. He had made it himself. Tall, feminine, long purple hair, black short shorts, and a black shirt that didn’t cover the stomach… and that was it. Female at first glance until you noticed the flat chest and a rather significant bulge. He’d caught more than a few people in vrchat that looked at him and only realized he was a male avatar after looking down.
As for me…
“Come on, let’s go see what you’ve changed.”
We walked over to a mirror and I saw myself. If you were any normal person and didn’t think I was female, you were crazy. And sadly, you’d still be wrong. I, can’t explain it. I wasn’t feminine irl and I was pretty sure I didn’t want to be but, given all the available options… this was the one I always chose. I just looked… beautiful I guess. Cute, maybe.
I wore a nice cute hoodie that even had cat ears on it. And it stretched all the way down to my knees. Small cute face, short hair that fell around my cheeks, and short. Something that Nova felt the need to point out every other day it seemed. Taking off my hoodie with the click of a button showed something a bit more… lewd.
I had a flat bra across my chest and what could only be seen as a speedo. But it looked good! Nova was chuckling to himself for some reason.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that! Why are you laughing at me?!”
“I’m just remembering the first time you found out my model was a guy…”
“Shut up!”
Those memories need not be revisited! They were unimportant. Even if I did have a bit of gay panic from a model… it wasn’t important!
I clicked two more buttons and the rest of my clothes fell away, showing my nude model. It had been surprisingly annoying to get the skin tone to match well. That was all I had really changed but I had been trying to make it look less, well, just better really. I had succeeded if Nova had been able to tell from just a glance.
He moved up behind me and I saw through the mirror as he reached around and started stroking my cock. A slight shiver ran through my body, phantom sense rearing its head.
“Don’t be mean!”
“Come on, I know you don’t have work for a few hours. What, run out of lube?”
I honestly wasn’t in the mood. It wasn’t just work in a few hours, something had been bothering me for a long time. Nova kept trying to play but he noticed my slumped body pretty fast and stopped. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. No, I did but…
“I hate it.”
“Baki…”
We had talked about it before. I didn’t have any delusions, not like I first did. I recognized I was bi, I loved Nova, I wished I could be with him.
But I couldn’t.
And I hated that.
“Our bodies IRL are just… we can’t shapeshift. I wish we could shapeshift.”
My voice cracked slightly.
It was a painful reality. People in VR could look however they wanted but their personality shined through. I knew I was bi, but that didn’t mean I was suddenly physically attracted to Nova. If I could force myself to be, I would. But that’s just not how the human mind works. And I hated it. I hated it so, so much. There was a reason I wanted deep dive VR so bad. Forget the world, the sights, the sounds and everything else. Just being able to hold Nova would be all I wanted and more. Instead of being stuck in this, self hatred.
The early days had been rough. Finding out that Nova’s avatar was male had been a slightly funny gay panic. Falling in love with him had not been. It had felt, stupid. Very stupid at first. All of it I guess. Falling in love with someone online happened all the time, but it hadn’t happened to me before now. Especially not with a guy. The problem was that I was pretty sure I was straight. But personalities hardly care about what’s below the belt. What do you do when you love someone but not their body? I felt like, I could only love him in VR. Like he had to be wearing a costume for me to love him. And I hated that. No, even that wasn’t my first thoughts or reactions. Those feelings only came way later. I felt confused first. Annoyed second. Then came the pain.
I had talked to him about it, eventually. Not at first, god no, who does that? “I love you and that confuses me and I’m not sure what to do about it, and it hurts!”, no one just admits that. But he was my friend, my first friend, my best friend. It had been, a rough few years before him. Before VR. He was the person I talked to about this type of stuff. He was always there for me. Eventually I just, had to tell him. Not because I really wanted to but because it wasn’t just a slight thing, it was all I could think and focus on. Every day I just burned with how much I wanted him. A rejection would hurt less than this confusing mess.
He had listened to me, and held me. It wasn’t real, it was like a hologram or a ghost giving you a hug, but I could feel it and I knew he cared, and that meant the world to me.
I wasn’t expecting his first words though.
“That sucks.”
I wanted to deck him. Knock his teeth out. Here I was saying a bunch of, what I felt was, utterly stupid nonsense that was eating away at me and those were his first words. His next words were…. Worse? Worse.
“Well, I love you too. Wanna go out?”
Worse. I may have said a few things in anger. Maybe a lot of things in anger. He had just laughed and asked again after I was done being mad.
“I’m, I’m not gay!”
“Who cares? You like me, I like you, simple.”
“I’m gonna kill you. Literally. With my own two hands wrapped around your neck. It’ll be a glorious day for mankind. They’ll sing my praises that I finally killed the most stupid jokester.”
“Hey, I’m serious! Let’s go out!”
I had fallen in love with an idiot. That tracked. I couldn’t exactly just say no after all that. Once we had our heart to heart and actually started dating, even thinking about it filled me with love I didn’t know I could feel. I didn’t deserve how good he made me feel in my heart. As for the more physical side of things… phantom touch helped a lot and once I learned what a lovense was, well, there were no issues on that front, that’s for sure. Spending time with him felt the same as always except more, nice. Warmer. Happier. I felt that fluttery feeling whenever I was around him, the kind that makes you smile all the time. Love felt good. Love felt really good. I don’t know how else to describe it, I’m not a wordsmith. It just felt good.
Until it didn’t.
I wanted him. I really, really wanted him. Not just to hang out together or to watch movies together. I wanted him. I wanted something more, serious, too. To really be with him. It wasn’t enough, what we had. To feel phantom touch, to pleasure each other with lovenses, to see his model. I wanted more.
I wanted him to hold me, to hear his heartbeat, feel his hands through my hair, his lips on my lips. I wanted so much more.
And he told me no.
“Baki, look, we can’t. You know we can’t.”
“Why not Nova? Come on. I could get a plane ticket and-”
“Baki. You don’t even know what I look like.”
His words struck a chord in me.
Then he sent me a picture.
I never knew how much I could hate myself till that moment. We had been friends for over a year, had been dating for at least a few months, and he was right. We had never actually seen each other. It just hadn’t been important or ever came up. Now it had. And I understood immediately. He wasn’t ugly. Not at all. He had a beard, an okay face, wore glasses, he looked like any normal guy you’d see on the street.
And that was the problem. He was so distinctly male. There was a reason I had never thought I was gay or even bi. I had no physical attraction to him. More, really. I was put off by the idea of physically touching him in any kind of sensual or sexual way.
That had been one of the shittiest weeks of my life. I had stared at that picture, trying to imagine kissing it, trying to imagine having sex with him, or doing anything more.
And failed. Over and over again.
It felt like a slap to the face. How can two people fall in love but not be able to actually do anything because their bodies weren’t compatible? What the fuck.
It wasn’t even a one way street. I showed him my own picture and it wasn’t exactly like he was leaping for joy. I didn’t blame him, we were both just, stuck. Trapped. Bound to bodies we had never chosen and given the gift of being able to love in a space without them.
Only for technology not to have advanced enough for us to truly not need them. Physical intimacy was, impossible. We were cursed by kindness. Which brought us to this moment.
“I know you hate it. I do too.”
“You don’t act like it.”
I knew there was some venom there, in my voice. I was just so, frustrated. And it hurt. It hurt that I couldn’t do anything with him because of my own stupid brain. And he never seemed to hate it like I did. It always seemed like he didn’t even care.
“Because you’re here with me, right now. I’m sorry if I don’t show it enough, but I love you. You mean the world to me, you know that. We’re in a shitty situation but it’s enough to have you here with me. I’d take having you not and not being able to feel you, over never having you, every day of my life. You’re my boyfriend Baki, and I’m always going to be here for you.”
He hugged me.
I sighed and sat down, my model following my movements.
“I just wish things were different.”
We both stared out from the island we were on. I saw a bright light and frowned. Was there another person here? or did the world have something so bright?
It grew brighter and I realized my headset must be the problem as I felt like I was going blind. I reached up to take it off as it covered my whole vision.
And then there was nothing but darkness.
.
.
.
I woke up feeling groggy. Which was weird, I didn’t remember drinking last night. The music was nice though.
I froze.
The music was familiar but that wasn’t what had frozen me.
I had opened my eyes.
And this, this was not my bedroom. No, it was? Just not the one in my house. It was the one from vrchat. Had I fallen asleep in VR again? If I did, I’d be amazed. That always left me feeling terrible. Hey, maybe I did and that was why I felt so groggy.
I leaned up, my hood falling back and hair getting in my eyes. My brain began yelling at me. I blinked and shook the hair out of my face, wondering what my brain was trying to tell me. I felt…
I felt.
My eyes shot open wide and I could feel my heart beating more and more. I could feel it. My heart beat. I could feel the bed underneath me, clothes I wasn’t wearing, hair on my face. I was hyperventilating slightly. I didn’t have any idea what was going on.
I looked down at my hands and gasped. These, these weren’t my hands. No, no, they were? I recognized these hands. I had made these hands. I had spent countless hours making these hands. I got off the massive bed I was in and nearly fell flat on my face. My body was, wrong. No, not wrong, different. My heart rate was threatening to explode out of my chest, my vision was starting to go white from adrenaline.
I saw a flat wall, a flat wall I remembered. With two buttons on it. I stumbled forward, not thinking, needing to touch them, needing to know. My brain wasn’t working, my breath wasn’t working, my body was different, and every moment that I struggled to move forward, as my brain fed me more information about myself, the air, the world I was in, the more I felt myself get light headed.
I made it to the button. I hit it. And gasped.
I fell back on my ass, nearly crashing my brain as the force went through my new body. Because it was new. I saw. I saw in the mirror. I wasn’t, me anymore. I was wearing a hoodie, fallen back now. My face was in front of me, cute, small, female. My hair fell to the sides of my face and touched my cheeks. I was short. I moved my arm up and the arm followed my movement in the mirror.
I had become my model. No, no, it was way more than that wasn’t it?
In shock and awe, I looked around, my mouth hanging open. The room was familiar. It was simple and nice and what I used for my homeworld. My homeworld in VR. Just a big apartment with some nice lights and a big bed. Somewhere I could relax.
I wasn’t feeling very relaxed right now. My breath had been stolen and was coming out shaky as I looked all around me, eyes finally falling back on, well, me.
Because it was me.
It was the body I had made from scratch. Made in blender, finished in unity, put into the game. But it wasn’t a game anymore. Not it was, me. It wasn’t a body I had just, made anymore. Or, well, it was but it was so much more than just a virtual body now. It was a physical body.
My brain was struggling.
I could feel my lack of height, the hair around my head, the different shape of my arms, legs, head, face, the lack of hair on my body, the flat bra I was wearing, the speedo underneath gripping me way too tightly, my tight ass, even my tongue felt different in my mouth. There was not a single thing unchanged.
I just, stared. My brain was overwhelmed by more than just my body. The minutes stretched, on and on and on, until my daze pulled back just slightly. I couldn’t even stand, but I reached down and tried to pull my hoodie off.
Which, was difficult. I had never planned on actually going through the motions of clothes removal in this thing! Trying to take off a hoodie that went down to your knees wasn’t simple. It was a task but it barely took my attention. Finally, I managed to get it off and blushed, hard. I could even see me doing that, despite me never giving this body the ability to do that.
I knew I was wearing a flat bra and a tight speedo around my junk but… seeing it, seeing my bulge and how lewd I looked, I had to turn away. That, that was… I collapsed with my back on the carpet and stared at the ceiling.
No thoughts ran through me, nothing concrete. Just various emotions. Mostly,
‘AHHHH?!!!!!???????!!!’
And
‘What what what what what what what what what what’
And
‘………………..what…..what…….what…..’
And finally
‘…..thank god.’
I gulped when that last sensation fled through me. Awe and thankfulness. I knew what this was, what this meant, down into the depths of my core. I was here. But, well, that meant nothing so long as-
There was a sound and I jumped like a cat that had been scalded by boiling water.
It was a notification, one I knew. One that rang when-
When someone was arriving in my world.
I looked over to my patio outside, the spawn point of my world, and saw a mass of blue triangles had appeared. Rather than being a form like normal, they seemed to be more so, revolving around something. Like a protective layer. When they disappeared, I learned that I could be shocked twice.
It was Nova.
Nova was here.
He was in his own model, his black short shorts, his long hair in a ponytail, his black shirt that didn’t reach his bra.
His piercing green eyes staring at me in shock and worry.
“…Baki?”
He was scared. His voice was different, but only slightly. It was still him. And he was scared and worried. That’s all I needed to know. I ran at him, causing his eyes to widen in surprise, and hugged him.
I could hug him! He was here! He was real! He was okay!
I didn’t consider myself a sensitive man, but I had to hold back tears. He was, he was, he was here. My… my boyfriend was here. With me. Nothing else mattered, not even our bodies. I realized that in that moment, what he must’ve felt all this time. Our IRL bodies had always been a barrier that I hated and that hadn’t changed. But it had never bothered him as much. Because despite that barrier, like looking through a window, I had always been there with him. For a moment, for a singular microsecond, I worried that wouldn’t be the case. That I had ended up here alone. I had never, I had never heard Nova scared before. He must’ve thought the same.
I held him and he held me, his arms reaching down and holding me close, squeezing me. We were both holding back tears, I knew. The idea of leaving each other, of never having each other again, it hurt. It was, it hurt. It hurt more than I would’ve thought and I had never thought it would be anything but the worst possible thing.
Judging by how tightly Nova was squeezing and was crying, he must’ve felt it even stronger than I did. His voice washed over me, and my heart broke.
“Hours.”
I didn’t understand but the way his voice broke made me grip him harder.
“I- I have been here for hours. You, you weren’t here. You weren’t here. I thought I was all alone.”
I grit my teeth. Hours. It had been, what, minutes? What would I have done, thinking I was here all alone, without Nova, for hours? I just held him tighter. Felt his smooth hands on my back.
Eventually, he seemed to take a steading breath and pulled back. The smile he gave me was, brittle.
“I love you Baki. I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
My jaw dropped. It only dropped harder when I realized he was dead serious.
“I can’t live without you. The idea, that I could never see you again. Haha. It’s not at what a boyfriend would feel. Will you marry me? Please.”
That, that was, we kinda needed to deal with the situation at hand! But, I nearly slapped myself. This was the situation at hand. VR, new bodies, new world, hell, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if were on alien planet or in another dimension or traveling through time or anything like that. None of that was important than Nova and how fragile he seemed. How he wanted, needed me. Right now and here. He was closest friend, my lover, and he needed me.
I didn’t bother answering with words.
He was taller than me, my head only reaching his chest.
So I had to jump.
He was surprised, as I smiled wide at him, bearing my teeth, and jumped up at him, my arms going around his neck. I hung off him and kissed him deeply. It was our first kiss, our first physical kiss, and he seemed surprised. For a moment.
And then he got handy. His arms fell and found my back, gripping me in an entirely different way. I let out a gasp as I felt his hands grip my ass and push me up, pulling me closer to him. This only seem to make him more desperate for my touch as he kissed me back. Hard. I shivered as I felt those lips touch mine. As I felt his arms around me, his hands on me, his feelings and emotions radiating through me. I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t a sensitive man but it had been too much. A few tears of, I don’t know, stress, relief, happiness, fell.
And then I was on my back and gasping for air yet again. This time because Nova had practically slammed onto the bed with him. Idiot.
“Baka.” Was all I got out before his lips were on mine again.
We lost ourselves in each other’s embrace. My legs wrapped around his body at some point, the happiness threatening to explode out of me. In a way it did as we kept pushing ourselves harder against each other, seemingly unable to get enough of one another. I had never even really thought about making out. Kissing had come to mind as a gentle romantic thing. Not something with so much passion and love baked into it. I was connected to him and I never wanted to untangle away. Love was, love was good. I felt a few more tears slip out.
“Haha.”
Nova looked at me with a smile, wondering why I was laughing probably. Or maybe he already knew, because he joined me soon after. We were laughing, just because we were happy. Because we were so, so happy. Everything was just good and nice. Everything was okay.
I pressed my head against his shirt, as we both breathed deep, just lying on the bed together. We were happy, we were together, and so the world was perfect. Nothing else mattered.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Bullshit.”
“Baki! Is that anyway to talk to your husband?”
My breath hitched. I had forgotten about that in the moment. Married, I, that was so much. I hadn’t, I hadn’t been able to think about it. We hadn’t even been able to meet up before, let alone anything else. Any thoughts of marriage… before, they would have broken me. To think about all I couldn’t have.
And now I had everything I’d ever wanted and more. It was scary, it was so much, it was overwhelming. But I had Nova and that was all that mattered. He was mine, I was his, he was here, and so was I. We were together, nothing else mattered.
“Please don’t leave me.”
He stroked my head.
“I feel like I should be the one saying that haha.”
It was everything I had ever wanted. I finally breathed, really breathed, a deep shaky breath leaving me. I felt exhausted and happy. I could physically feel how Nova sagged, no doubt feeling the same way. We’d have to talk and discuss whatever the hell was going on, whether it was permanent or temporary, and many other things, but right now, all that mattered was that I had my husband in my arms and my husband had me in his.
.
.
.
[Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/WarixViviana/comments/yx3yoi/gay_vrchat_femboy_lovers_part_2/)
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Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/yxfnil/gay_vrchat_femboy_lovers_part_1_yaoi_femboy_deep