It is my first time posting, I am very nervous but I need to get it out of my system. Maybe get some advise along the way
We work in different departments but Lee volunteers to sit among my department for better transition/communication among 2 teams. At first, I was kinda annoyed by the fact that Lee sat next to me and was very talkative, very distracting for me. We both have toddlers that are 1 month apart so we have a lot of things in common to talk about. The topic was always interesting to me so we could talk for a long time about one thing after another. We both love our kids, and our family by extension. However, at the same time, I was annoyed because this friendship was very time consuming, leaving me busy making up for the hours we spent not working. Same with him as his work got so delayed because of his hours spent not working which affected my work outcome. So we fight from time to time, pointing fingers to each other in meetings with our teams. But soon after those fights, we sat together after lunch and giggled into each other’s phones for like an hour looking at our babies photos or coming house projects, homemaker tips… Up to a point Lee’s manager said that we were fighting and making up like a young couple. We both laughed it off.
Until a week after that comment, my boss talked to me in private about how our relationship concerns her. The fact that we are both married acting like a couple makes her uncomfortable. I was not happy after hearing that. First of all, we were not like a couple, we are at most like best friends, everything is rated G in our friendship at this point. Second of all, she was in no position judging my personal life. But still I start to reason for her and for my career, I tell Lee that we need to lay low a little bit. And we did.
At least it lasts for a week. During that week, I had to show restraint on any urge of jumping into a conversation with Lee. When Lee sparked a conversation that was not work related, I would just brush it off smiling “not now”. If not now, then when. During lunch time, we sat with each of our team to bond. After work, we are both having our families to go home to. It is not like we can hang out for drinks after work like when we were younger. I sneaked a look once or twice at him from time to time, followed his path from a far, said good morning and bye the most endearing way I can. I was doing my best showing I still care. With restraint, he was growing on me. I started to have a crush on him.
One day, he caught me at an empty stairway at work and said “This is ridiculous. We didn’t do anything wrong. Can you act normal?”. All my withholdings bursted out at that moment. I teared up, exhaled and said “I want that too”. And with a recent developing crush, I pulled down his collar and planted a kiss on his lips (he is like 6’5 tall while I am 5’5). I immediately regretted and pulled back. But to my surprise, he pressed his lips on mine and pulled my body closer to his. I could feel he was getting hard with his remarkable size cock (he is a tall guy after all). I couldn’t resist. “You always smell so good,” he said. “Thanks”, I whispered. While we were all over each other, he moved his hand slowly up my face. One hand caressing the cheeks to the back of my neck. The other lacing my hair. “How dare you ignore me”, he murmured under his breath. “I am sorry”, I murmured under mine. He starts to pull my hair and till my head back so he can move down to kiss my neck. That pull knocked me out of my senses, I felt violated and pushed him out. He immediately said “Sorry I was being rough”. I was utterly startled, but I cannot lie and said I don’t wish to continue. I chuckled “not now” and went straight to the lady’s room. I found out that I was soaking wet.
After refreshing, I went back to my desk. Lee was sitting at his, looking at the screen. I asked my manager to leave early for not feeling well, and truly my head was spinning.
I have been working from home ever since. I keep making one excuse after another. I am afraid to go back to the office and face Lee. How should I keep my head around him anymore?
I seduced my husband to start working from home too so he could fuck the idea of going to find Lee out of my head. We still sent the kid to school and have the house for ourselves. We have been having sex twice a day almost every day whenever we have a break from work.
We did it during a zoom meeting once. It was so hot. He chose the meeting that I hosted and had to talk a lot and started to arouse me like 2 minutes before the meeting started. Once everyone presented on zoom, I was so into it, I told him not to stop. He kept eating me under the table and had his hand under my shirt the whole time. It was risky business! I couldn’t take it anymore and ended the call abruptly. I started riding him until he came on my belly. I didn’t come. I cannot stop thinking about that kiss with Lee, that hair pulling thing. Later that day, when my husband went to pick my kid from school, I got myself off yelling Lee name. Gosh I still want more of Lee.
I know well that delving to my satisfaction will only make me want more and will keep going back to it. At this point I don’t know if it was Lee or the idea of sneaking around intriguing to me. I have so much to lose, my great family, my great job. I think the same goes to Lee. But that hair pulling…
What do I do to keep this out of my head and keep a straight face to him at work now? Anyone has been in the same situation, can you tell me that I can shake this and we can become normal coworkers again?
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ye5i3q/fm_i_30f_am_having_a_crush_on_my_coworker_38m
Oof it will be hard for both of you to restrain your physical attraction. Your reptilian brain will probably want more of him and his lustful eyes won’t help.
Someone will suffer from this situation, either you and Lee struggling against your physical attraction or both of your families. You can tell him that nothing will ever happen and that you need to cut ties or you can fulfill your needs and create a difficult situation. Best of luck OP, I definitely know the struggle
And I’d love to read more about it ;)
It’s the thought behind it. The lustful nature of a colleague that wants you for physical attraction. Yes it’s hot. I have been in the same boat and currently in the midst of it playing cat and mouse.
Great story and good read but Advice wise, we all have too much to lose. Jobs and family and such all for acting on our desires. I am one that knows not to stop while I’m ahead of the idea of “just having a taste” wouldn’t work either. You two will want more and if your manager is already suspicious, it will only be a matter of time
I wish you the best either way. Maybe this is somewhat of an outlet for me as well as we are similar age and going through similar work situations 😅😅. Good luck !
Just from what I can gather reading this, having been in similar situations – I feel like most of the desire comes from the forbidden, mysterious nature of it. There was no tension between you two until your idiot boss made it taboo. And that necessary sneakiness made it more desirable.
Just a guess of course. But I feel like in a hypothetical world, if you gave in to all your desires and left for Lee and went all the way with him, you would find not much left to desire after that. I hope this helps.
As someone who actually cheated with a coworker, let me just say it’s not worth it in the end. Even if your relationship isn’t that good at least end things with your husband and see where life will take you after that. Never shit where you eat and I found that out the hard way.