Okay so I know that what I did was wrong and I am ashamed of it but I have never told anyone about doing it so that’s why I am sharing it here .
I was 18, new in college. I wasn’t a hot nor attractive not popular girl , I was just a normal girl that didn’t get attention from the hot guys and ended up with the geeky groups or nerds or just not cool people .. I would get a lil attention from men from those groups but honestly I didn’t want them , I just wanted some of the hot guys at uni and just had a huge crush on them .
Anyway, at the start of the year , I was put in a group work with a very hot girl. And we ended up being friends .. it started with just a homework / project friendship where I would help her . But she was nice and she started inviting me to the cool parties.
I went with her , I didn’t fit at all, specially cause she is hot and gets hit on a lot and just within few minutes she ends up with a guy and I would just end up there drinking and dancing and feeling out of place or invisible.
Until a guy came up to me and chatted with me about what I was doing and how I knew that friend etc.. he was hot and I had a crush on him .. I tried to kiss him ( I was inexperienced and naive and thought that was my chance ) he just stopped and told me he had no interest in me and kinda left .. and then I ended up going home … I did masturbate to imagining him and then slept .
The next day I found him adding me on social media .. I accepted and apologized
We started talking and from the chatting with him , it was obvious that he liked my friend alot . But also he knew that I liked him and he used that .. he started kinda being rude or abusive and degrading … then sexting or harassing me or requesting stuff .. and he just knew I was dumb young and naive , and had a huge crush on him that I would end up doing it …
He started by just making me show him when I masturbate . Demanding me to do humiliating stuff on camera …
With time he just kept asking me for more degrading stuff , and more stuff . He was vocal about how he found my friend hot .. he would make me show him photos of her or rp as her or so …
And thinking back at it, I was stupid and naive to do all those stuff and let him abuse me
But he knew he had power over me and he would just fool me by saying that he is thinking of finally coming home or taking me out but he never did …
It went on for months , I would try and leave and stop cause I would feel abused and used and getting nothing… but end up going to him again because I was just lonely and desperate and I was so into him . And he knew that which made him more rude and forcing me to do more weird stuff …
That was kinda my two main relationships in college , the guy that abused me on social media because he knew I had a huge crush on him . And my bestfriend , the hot girl that he had a crush on and wanted always …
Anyway that brings us to few months into the year … there was a party . I went with my friend and he was there . My friend hooked up with a guy … they fucked or something idk like it was a quickie and then she was completely drunk and came up to me telling me she wanna go home so I took her home with me . She was completely wasted , I put her in bed . And she was out
Then I tried to sleep , but that’s when I started wanting to masturbate cause it’s usually what I do …
I went to the couch since she was on bed and started masturbating .. and I received a message from that guy asking if my friend was okay cause he saw me help her home and I told him that she’s sleeping here cause I didn’t wanna let her go home alone in that state …
That’s when he started telling me to show her which after convincing I did but then he asked me to undress her and show her naked which I refused ….
Even tho I was desperate and lost my self respect with that man and he made me do a ton of degrading things I was against exposing my friend or anything…
Which he then was okay with it but told me to go next to her in bed , get naked and start masturbating there
Again I was against it.. but he pushed my buttons and played with my feeling and how lonely and horny I was so I did it … I was naked fully next to her and masturbated to his words and imagining him . That’s when he asked me to take her hand and make it touch my pussy … then it went from just touching to moving it against it until he made me put her fingers inside me while I used my own fingers to feel myself and I ended up cumming very hard … I even squirted a bit for the first time ever …
I was ashamed of myself and felt so fucked up .. but I did it because I was desperate.. the dude still has that video and still shows it to me randomly to remind me …
That wasn’t the most humiliating or degrading thing I did … but it was the most fucked up …
And I dont know why I enjoy it that much.. idk if it’s because she was so hot , or because of him . Or because of the situation and the fucked up issue … or idk . But yea I did that and no one other than him knows
The video in question : https://imgur.com/a/AewBgne
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/xviig2/f_i_used_my_friends_hand_to_finger_myself_while
He never fucked you??