I heard [M]y [F]riend have really underwhelming sex

So my friend and I had been going through really long dry spells either through COVID shielding or lack of efforts on our parts.

We recently went for a night out with a few friends and it ended with her bringing myself and a few others back to her place. Now the entire night she’d complained how she hadn’t gotten any in forever and she had finally settled on a guy she planned to use to rectify this situation and had been sneaking off to kiss him when she thought no one was looking. However, he decided to leave with the rest of the group early even though she wanted him to stay. (If this ever happens to you, do not do what she did)

Because I live far away from her, when we go out, I’ll usually arrange to crash in her spare room. So after he left I was teasing her about the dry spell continuing and said that if she was so desperate she may as well invite him back. So she starts laying it on thick saying that he forgot his wallet so he needed to come back to collect. Friends, this lad was an idiot and did not pick up on any of her hints. I found this thoroughly hilarious but eventually decided to go to bed. Eventually, it turns out, she straight up told him to come back so that they could have sex.

So a whole 2 hours after he had originally left, just as I’m dozing off I’m jolted awake by the rattling of her keys as she frantically lets him in. I understand having bad sex when you’re inebriated but all this lad did was immediately go hard and fast until he finally came. From the time I heard the door shut to let him in all I heard was the sounds of rapid flesh against flesh until I heard him groan, none of the moans that would indicate any pleasure from her. No more than 5 minutes had passed but luckily it meant that I could finally go to sleep.

I’m an early riser, whereas she tends to enjoy a lay in so I left early the next morning and sent her a text asking for a debrief in the afternoon. She says that she was so disappointed by the night before that she didn’t give him the opportunity to redeem himself when they woke up and just made him leave. This segued into her complaining that men can’t have good sex for a while. At this point I refused to be painted with the same brush and the pump and dump chump from the previous night and explained to her my philosophy of no matter how drunk I may be I would always make sure my partner came at least twice before I even entered them. Purely for selfish reasons, it’s just easier to get girls to agree to what you want to do when they’re in such a euphoric state.

At the time as she questioned me about what I did with my fingers and mouth I didn’t really question her motives. but a few weeks later, the next time I was around for a film night, after she had had a few beverages she found the courage to ask if I would cross the line and sleep with her. Apparently, what I had told her had been running through her mind ever since. I obviously said yes! breaking my dry spell with no effort on my part was a dream of mine. I would like to tell you, ladies and gentlemen and non binary pals, that for the next two hours we had mind blowing, earth shattering sex but sadly I cannot. It turns out that breaking a dry spell is a lot like a footballer coming back from a long injury. You need to build up your match fitness and sharpness. while the actual sex barely lasted as long as the other guy. And as I was so disappointed with my own performance, I pivoted and decided to make the night about her. I had already kept to my strategy in regards to the foreplay, but after being so disappointing in the act, I spent the rest of the night sucking and licking in conjunction with my hands and a small selection of toys to make her cum until she finally tapped out.

This was key, as she has now given me the opportunity to try again next weekend. Because while I wasn’t at my best, she appreciated that I put the effort in to make it somewhat worthwhile for her. The moral of this story is really to make your women cum lads, there’s no excuse for poor performance.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/x0fb3m/i_heard_my_friend_have_really_underwhelming_sex

10 comments

  1. Absolutely on point about the injured footballer part. I had a dry spell that lasted years (or possibly just felt like years) and I was sooooo disappointed in my own performance for a while after that. It really is a skill to be good in bed, and like any other skill it suffers without practice.

  2. Can you please start teaching a workshop for all the people that are like the pump and dump guy? I’m trying to think of a clever name to call it but I’m drawing a blank

  3. Hookup culture is so strange…. Good on you for making the effort. Seems like a lot of men don’t….

  4. That’s a great story and I can relate in my early days I couldn’t last long either before I blew my first load but I redeemed myself with the second load so I almost always shot 2 loads during sex. I started having sex on a regular routine and after my first orgasm I was able to last as long as I wanted usually I would shoot the second load when she would tell me she’s getting sore and I think the same way make her cum several times before you penetrate her with your cock that way you usually get invited back for more and seeing and hearing a woman orgasm makes sex much more enjoyable for me

  5. I know this is probably not meant to be a super sexy story but… holy shit. The idea of you listening to her having shit sex and knowing that you could make her cumand do so much better… and then just getting to it? Hot as fuck. Sounds like something I’ve fantasized about my whole youth haha. She’s very lucky.

  6. I had a really long dry spell too. Like 6+ years. And I have your philosophy about being about my partners pleasure. I will definitely say that my performance was actually better, than where I had left it. I lasted pretty long for my usual, but it wasn’t as good for me. And I’m finding issue in getting back up for a second round like I used to.

  7. I don’t know if I’m an outlier but I hardly ever have mindblowing sex if there isn’t a connection or attraction that runs deeper than friendship. I’ve tried it a few times but at this stage I’m picky and rather have no sex than underwhelming sex. It kind of beats the purpose, as if you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re enjoying it more than you actually are, who are you fooling?

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