Falling in love with my best friend [FF]

This is a longer post that’s heavy on the feelings and light on the sex so you’ve been warned.

As I’m lying here, in the arms of my female ex-flatmate/best friend/intermittent fuck buddy/the person I’d marry if my boyfriend spontaneously ceased to exist at this very moment, I’m reminded that I’m loved by so many people. I’m happily attached to my boyfriend, who texts me pictures of the cats and dogs he meets everyday. I know marriage is an eventuality because we’ve always planned to have a future together.

But I’m typing this in bed with S, my female… friend, who I’m absolutely in love with. We’ve spent the last week in quarantine after getting COVID on a vacation we had planned over the last few months. We cooked for one another, we watched Hamilton together, and we tried (unsuccessfully) to have sex anyway, so even though this is objectively a terrible situation, I’m glad I spent it with her.

So since I’m feeling *extra sappy*, let’s rewind things to how we met. S and I met in our first year of college. She claims we met at a welcome dinner, I insist we met later at an MBTI workshop, but the truth is, we just had a lot in common despite having nothing in common. She was a 6 foot athlete who represented her faculty at sporting events, and I was a bookworm who hears about said events 2 weeks after they happen. She’s a chartered accountant, and I’m a political scientist. She writes smutty fanfiction on AO3 and I write about my smutty life on Reddit.

See? A lot in common, while having zero common interests.

S ~~is~~ has always been an intellectual titan. I knew about her academic achievements through the grapevine, but watching her mind work was simply beautiful. Where some might attack a problem from multiple directions, she seemed to rotate problems in three dimensions before striking at its heart. And that made being a contrarian around her all the more sweet. We argued constantly, but it was never over anything of substance. I don’t believe the Companies Act 2006 is a waste of paper, but S always rose to the bait.

Sometimes S returned the favor. The sexual tension was always palpable, especially when we fought in front of others. One time I walked up to me and said, “You cannot possibly know a kink is off limits unless you’ve tried it.” I can’t believe we didn’t fuck at the end of that argument.

We were friends for a whole year before we fucked. We were at a party that night. Most parties, she would be arm-wrestling her way through the men at the party, but we started arguing on the way to the party, and we couldn’t seem to call it quits. I don’t think we stopped fighting until I found myself at her doorstep, staring into her unexpectedly tidy room.

“Why’s your room so clean?”

“… I cleaned it?”

“In what fucking universe would you, a dumbass with *fucking* ADHD, clean your room?”

But then I started to notice things that were different. Her room was suspiciously neat. The piles of unopened letters on her desk had vanished. The pile of not-quite-unclean clothes on the chair next to her bed had vanished too. You know, the laundry chair? For clothes that weren’t quite dirty enough to wash? And most surprisingly, not only had S made her bed, her sheets were tucked and her stuffed toys were seated in rows next to her pillow**s**.

I raised a finger.

“Go on Lee, say it. I can see the cogs turning in your head.”

The cogs were still turning in my head, but I could make out the conclusion before it hit me.

“Were you gonna bring a girl back?”

“And you fucking *ruined* it.”

“Where’d that smart mouth of yours go anyway? Too busy trying to fuck me up to fuck a girl?” I shot back, as I took off my shoes. I could see S size me up from the corner of my eye. We’ve talked about sex in the past, so I knew I was (in theory, at least) her type: shorter than her and feisty enough to dominate her in bed.

I should note that this isn’t the first time our antics have resulted in this situation. The last time it happened, I told S that my legs are open if she wanted to fuck, and she told me, “Maybe next time.”

So I made myself at home. S sat on her bed while I rummaged through her closet for a shirt and a pair of shorts to change into. She looked pensively at my rear.

“The invitation still stands, S.”

Like every time I spent the night with S after a party, I hopped in the shower before her. It was practical and entirely platonic. I lived 30 minutes away from campus by the subway, and S lived on campus. Some days, her apartment would literally be 5 minutes from my morning classes.

Sitting on the counter naked to watch her shower wasn’t platonic or practical though. S had gained some weight since her first semester, but she was still lifting weights in the gym and sparring thrice a week. The girl has no problem picking up chicks at parties, so knowing that I’m able to ruin her plans makes me laugh every time.

“Why are you laughing?” S asked, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

“You look like a drenched kitten.”

She flipped me off.

“And it’s the third time *this* has happened.”

The withering scowl she shot was undermined by the sight of water dripping off her cheek. She really did look like an angry kitten.

“Shush, *kitten*.”

As S dried her hair, I made her a cup of instant coffee. She cupped her mug in her big hands and inhaled a deep breath.

“So, Lee…” she began. I swirled the ice cubes in my coffee, filling the silence in her room. She stared at my cup, presumably melting them with the intensity of her vision while trying to find the next few words in her sentence.

“… about your offer?”

“It still stands,” I replied, nodding emphatically. Of course I’d be glad to fuck. Besides, I took my ADHD medication at 9pm. There’s no way in hell I’d be sleeping before 6am, coffee or not.

There’s so much about having sex with S for the first time that I’ve rewritten this bit thrice. Nothing beats sex with your best friend. I know, I know, most of us have qualms about putting the moves on your close friends and ruining that relationship, but I can tell you that S and my boyfriend were my close friends initially, before we took things to the next level.

I mean, S is a goddess, don’t get me wrong. There’s something intoxicating about her confidence and her thick thighs and ass are cherries upon the proverbial cake. But although we fought and argued with a fire that couldn’t be doused, we fucked almost languidly; she explored my nude body like an astronomer mapping out the stars. I would later find out that she was a bottom, but I knew there was no way she was a top. The brat in me was aching to ask where her bitchy side disappeared to, but I had enough Ritalin in me to bite my tongue and not ruin the moment.

Unsurprisingly, I skipped class the next day. Which is saying a lot, given my GPA at the time. The TA texted me and asked if I was ill. I told her that I had some urgent matters of a deeply personal nature, which wasn’t entirely a lie. We spent the whole day together. S looked like nothing could ruin her day, which delighted me. Like many of the girls she’s fucked, I could scarcely believe I pulled a girl like her, but more importantly, that we were still friends.

We spent the following night in her bed again.

“So… what are we?” I asked. S knew that I was sexually open, but romantically monogamous. She had a special place in my heart, but she’s gonna have to play second fiddle.

“We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

I could feel her heart beat in her chest as I collected my thoughts.

“Best friends. With benefits.” I paused, letting the thought linger on my tongue, before continuing, “In another universe, we could be more, but no. This is the reality we live in.”

I kissed S on the cheek.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about this with you.”

I shrugged, pulling her closer into my arms. “It doesn’t change things though. [My boyfriend] and I have talked about dating other people and I know he’ll be fine with us fucking. You’re not the first friend I’ve fucked.”

I knew we had feelings for one another, but I don’t cheat. I know I’m a lucky girl to have my boyfriend, and I won’t ruin that just because my pussy or heart thinks it’s a good idea. I did tell my boyfriend (in the morning) that S and I fucked as a matter of courtesy, and that we did discuss our feelings for one another. This isn’t something you keep from your partner, especially if you’re romantically monogamous.

But in that moment, I decided not to think about my boyfriend. He can wait. The world can wait. In that very moment, I needed to make out with S and get her off again.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/x01a0d/falling_in_love_with_my_best_friend_ff