*This is my first thrust (haha) at erotic fiction. I’m fairly new to erotic writing, so I appreciate any constructive criticism. Warning: This is a long post.*
Just like every morning, I stood at the kitchen sink. The clicking of my husband’s jaw as he masticated his breakfast acted as a metronome while my muscle memory scrubbed dish after dish. *How had my life become an endless loop of tedium with disappointments and regrets as waypoints?*
“I think that dish is clean enough, Abigail.” Roy said with his usual warm chuckle.
The sound of my full name pushed me deeper into my thoughts. *Abigail? People close to me called me Abby and lovers whispered Abs into my ear. Abigail? That was for strangers and acquaintances.*
“Abigail,” He was louder now. “You’re gonna scrub the flowers off that plate.”
I shook off my thoughts and moved onto the next plate.
“You’re really out of it lately.” He placed his dishes next to the sink.
“Am I?”
“Feel better.” Roy leaned in to kiss my cheek.
I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around him. Pulling him close, my lips sought his like they had so many mornings. Like all those other mornings, he pushed me back and turned his face at the last moment. His stubble scraped my lips.
“Come on. What are you doing?” His mouth clamped shut, pressing his lips in a hard line. The irritation in his eyes shrank me.
“I just need some affection.” The whine in my voice made me cringe.
“Have a good day, Abi-.” The backdoor slammed, clipping the last syllable of my name.
I gritted my teeth until the urge to burst into tears passed. Just as my jaw began to ache, the tightness at the back of my throat eased and the tears retreated. After a few more deep breaths, I left for my daily walk.
Outside the fog hung thick and heavy, shrouding the ocean views and brightly painted older homes clinging to the hillside. When I took in my first lung full of the chill air, my chin quivered as it held back a sob.
“Nope, Abby, we’re not doing that today.” I said.
My walk happened at the same time every morning, without fail. It was lonely. But I had to do it. The physical exertion kept my sanity close and reminded me that my body could do other things, not just wait.
The halfway point was the highlight of my walk. It was nothing more than a secluded parking lot and concrete bench where I could sit and listen to the ocean until my thoughts were drowned out by the sound of crashing waves. All the while, I would sip from my flask and suck on cigarette after cigarette without unwanted human interactions.
Typically, I saw no one and interfaced with no one, but this day was so different. Everything was off. The feel of Roy’s stubble on my lips still stung, my internal voice had extra bite, and my usual walk didn’t tire me as much as I needed. The longing for the days where Roy sighed my name with desire so intense that my insides vibrated still twisted my gut.
Now there was a plain station wagon in one of the parking spaces.
My paced slowed, but then I dismissed the car’s presence. It was a public lot and people were bound to use it. I wanted to sit, drink, and smoke in peace and this beige Volvo wagon wouldn’t deter me.
As I passed the car, movement caught my eye. My feet halted and my eyes widened. My breath stopped mid-exhale and my mind scrambled to process the sight of a man stroking his penis.
In his car.
With the window down.
He was attractive and fit. With his eyes shut and his head tilted back, the stranger pleasured himself with such abandon that I couldn’t look away. When he bit his lower lip, a flash of straight white teeth drew my eyes to his full lips and a dimple in his left cheek.
My eyes slid down. They couldn’t help it. Despite my brain screaming that this was wrong, perverse, a violation of privacy, and just plain rude to stare like this, my eyes continued to descend.
His toned chest pulled and stretched the cotton fibers of his sweaty t-shirt. He moaned under his breath, which yanked my eyes back up to his face. A jolt of fear shot through me. His eyes could open at any second and he would see me here leering at him, but the sight of pure ecstasy on his face mesmerized me.
My eyes couldn’t resist any longer and they took the inevitable journey down and to his left hand gripping his cock. Precum glistened on the tip and the sight of it made me lick my lips and suck in a deep breath.
His touch was delicate and leisurely. Time stretched and slowed as I watched his hand explore his cock. When his thumb swiped the droplets of precum away, I wanted to sink down and gloss my dry lips with his fluid. The surge of heat in my body shocked me and I jerked my eyes away. Panicked, I glanced around. The parking lot was still empty.
My cheeks were on fire, because I was greedy for another look. Desperation for any scrap of sexual energy shoved my better sense and dignity into the ditch. I wanted to watch him, observe him with the intent to mentally record his every stroke and moan.
I froze.
His eyes were on me. I knew before I turned back to him. If shame had a face it would be mine in this moment.
Our eyes met. My stomach sank with the realization that there was a witness to my unraveling. I expected to see harsh judgement or some sort of accusation, instead his look was full of curiosity and amusement.
“Hey,” He said.
I bolted.
When I got home, I slammed and locked the door behind me. The rest of the afternoon, I busied myself with any and every chore in the hopes that I could keep the image of that handsome stranger pleasuring himself out of my mind.
It worked until later that night when I laid in bed next to my husband. I snuggled up to Roy and caressed his bare chest. Before my fingertips gained purchase on his warm skin, he turned and scooted away from me until my hand dropped away. Within seconds, his breathing slowed and deepened. Within minutes, he was snoring.
This flavor of shame paired well with loneliness. It wasn’t my favorite combo, but definitely my most frequent.
Tears slid down my face and I pinched my eyes shut. With my eyes closed, the thrill of watching a strange man take his needs into his own hands barreled into my mind. The brazen way he stroked himself and the way that I watched, jolted my heart into a frenzy and that long forgotten heat radiated my insides.
I eased closer to Roy until the left side of my body touched his back. The warmth and comfort of his skin on mine reminded me of all the missed opportunities. My mind and body didn’t want to wallow on those negative moments and they offered up a handsome face in ecstasy.
As I remembered the stranger’s masculine sighs and moans, my own hands caressed my body and sent tiny notes of excitement through me. The memory of his toned chest and abdomen expanding and contracting with increasing tempo had me cupping my breasts and arching my back.
My breathing deepened as one hand glided down my abdomen and my legs parted in anticipation. The image of his head tossed back and his teeth biting his lower lip replayed as my fingers teased my nipple. A tremble vibrated through me once my fingertips reached my inner thigh. Biting my lip, I purposely kept from sliding my finger up and down my slit. Even though, I wanted and needed the release so much that my hips rose up to allow more access to my pussy.
This image of his strong hand wrapped around his cock made me ache for the feel of a hard rod stretching me until I gasped. The way his hips rose up with a smooth movement as he stroked himself made me caress my nipples and knead my inner thigh in unison. The restrained power of his thrust originated high up in his core and rolled down his torso in a sensual wave that pulled me deeper into the memory.
I couldn’t resist any longer.
The moment my fingers slipped between my legs and parted my lips, heat and anticipation surged to my pussy. My clit ached for the pad of my finger, but I avoided it’s throbbing and traced along my outer lips. I circled my opening. Warmth and wetness coated my fingers.
The memory of his hard cock filled my mouth with saliva and I licked my lips like the starved woman I was.
My hands and fingers worked their way around my body while my mind held onto the image of his hand moving up and down his shaft. The pad of my finger found my clit and teased it with the lightest touch. My breath caught, but I kept drawing out the moment by dipping down to my opening. Two of my fingertips slipped inside of me, but only to the first knuckle. My pussy was wet, but not soaking like I wanted her to be.
I loved the feeling of being penetrated when I was aching for it to the point of feeling like a dam about to break. The pad of my finger returned to my clit with more pressure. A quiver zipped through me and I moaned from deep within my throat.
Remembering his rhythm as he stroked himself, sent my hips rocking up and down as my finger rubbed my clit in small circular pattern. My breath hitched with each pulse of arousal.
Roy grumbled under his breath. I froze until his snores filled the room again. The fear of being caught shot adrenaline through me and ramped up the tension already building inside me.
Now, my pussy was dripping and my fingers were coated with my juices. I pushed my fingers into me and they slid in smooth and easy. The burst of relief when my fingers caressed my insides opened me up even more as though I were welcoming a long lost lover.
I went deeper inside myself. The flood of pleasure drove every thought out of my mind leaving behind pure, intense sensations throughout every inch of my body. Both my hands worked together making every muscle in my body tighten and clench.
Whimpers snuck out of me. My fingers swirled and pumped inside of me while my finger tip rubbed and pressed on my clit; their rhythm and pattern took on a life of its own. I clenched my teeth, trying to hold back a little longer, but seconds later my orgasm broke loose.
Every nerve ending and muscle in my body tensed while bliss washed through me. Tremors, carrying the aftershocks of sweet pleasure, followed and continued until my extremities pulsated.
A long, deep sigh slipped out of me as my orgasm subsided. Then relaxation swept in as my mind clung to the last twitches of ecstasy.
Once the last pulses of pleasure ebbed off, my brain gave me one last thought before I fell asleep…*what if I had said “Hey” back?*
*If you read this far, thank you for your time.*
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/vg14x4/the_lonely_passenger_part_1a_tale_from_desperate