I swear… the dog stole your thong [MF]

My old roommate and I were texting the other day and he reminded me of a funny story from my college days. A great story about a woman I loved, our first time together, and a lost article of clothing. It’s long but good. I swear.

It was the summer of my senior year, I was freshly graduated and ready to conquer the world. A family friend was going out of town and offered to pay me $400 to house sit for them. They had a neurotic dog so someone needed to physically stay at the house. They had an awesome house with a large pool and jacuzzi, so I figured I could make the best of my time there. I had been talking to a girl from work for a few weeks but we hadn’t slept together yet. I figured this would be an opportunity to get some alone time, just her and I. No roommates. No bars/clubs. No bullshit.

I made plans with her earlier in the week and she was going to come to the house to watch a movie and have a few dranks… I was so fucking excited, the anticipation was exhilarating.. 8pm rolled around and she text me that she was on her way… HELL YEAH. I poured myself a vodka sprite to take the edge off. I didn’t want to seem too excited, even though it was all I could think about.

She finally arrives at the house. I greet her, we bullshit for a little, then settle down on the couch to watch the movie. About half way through the movie, we start to get antsy. We’re about half a fifth deep and the movie isn’t holding our interest. I suggest that we make a road soda and take a bike ride (the neighborhood had a big lake in it, so I figured we’d cruise around there). She agrees, so we head out. Its only about 5 minutes to the lake. We find a bench and sit down in front of the water. It’s romantic, well romantic enough for a couple of college kids. We had just started kissing when I felt a few sprinkles hit me. Then I hear the thunder. Then the sprinkles turn to full on rain drops. We get up in a hurry and grab the bikes. It is now a full blown down pour. We are getting soaked… Thank you lord. This is perfect. This is something out of a movie, girl and guy, lake, bikes, rain. There is no way I’m not getting laid tonight.

We get back and walk into the house. We are greeted with cold air blasting from the AC. Time to shed the wet clothes. I give her some gym shorts(the smallest ones I could find. The ones reserved for sleeping only) and a t-shirt. She comes out of the bathroom and she looks AMAZING… Play it cool man. Play it cool… I try to start the movie again but I rented it through direct tv and the satellite is all screwed up from the storm. No worries, we will just look out the huge glass window that the couch backs up to and watch the lightning show.

The storm is raging now. It’s lighting and thundering so loud that the windows are shaking. With each flash I inch myself closer to her. She says the storm is scaring her, so I get right behind her. I start at her neck while I rub her back. She pushes her ass against me, grinding up and down. I go for the bra, then the shirt. She lays her back on the couch and I am determined to press my lips against every inch of her body. I start down her stomach, and get to the soft gym short fabric. I move my attention back to her chest and slowly slide her shorts off. I start to move back down her stomach, right up to her PINK thong… The moment of truth is here… will she let me finally remove the last piece of clothing… Will I reach the promise land…

I start kissing around her inner thighs and decide to go for it… SUCCESS… She lets me remove them without hesitation. I slide them off her ankles and remove my shirt. I lay back down and press myself against her. My boxers are unable to contain me. I start to kiss her neck and she whispers those five magic words… I want you in me. My boxers are removed in a matter of seconds… I look directly at her, she is beautiful. I whisper in her ear and confirm that this is in fact happening. I kiss her softly as I ease my way into her… this is fucking AMAZING.

We spend some time on the couch, but the floor is tile and the couch keeps separating. After about 10 minutes, I suggest that we move to the guest room because this couch is bullshit. Also, I was getting to that point and I didn’t want it to end so I figured this would buy me another 15 minutes or so. We take it to the bedroom and finish up in there. She is laying on top of the covers while I caress her soft naked body. Her eyes close and we drift to sleep.

I wake up to a buzzing phone. I stumble out of the room in search of water and clothing. I get both and sit on the couch. She comes out of the room about 5 minutes later and starts to gather her belongings. I tell her that she can spend the night, I was actually hoping she would. I really liked being around her. She said she needed to get home and was fine to drive. The only problem is she can’t find her underwear. She looks for a minute, I get up and start a half assed search, but we can’t find them. I tell her they probably got stuck in a couch cushion or something and I’ll find them in the morning. She’s cool with it and rolls out of the house.

The next morning comes and I get up to clean the house. I push the couch back together and start to look for her missing thong. I look and look but I can’t find it… WTF?? I spend about 20 minutes tearing the whole area apart. I can’t find them. I’m baffled, this was literally the only place we were in… I’m so confused. But whatever, I’m sure they will turn up… WRONG. Another day goes by and I still can’t find them. I’m starting to get a little worried because there’s a random pair of bright pink panties in my parents friends house. The people were cool and all but idk how they would react to finding a girls bottoms laying around their home. I shoot the girl a text and see if maybe she grabbed them when she left. Nope, she didn’t have them… WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I start to freak out and tear the whole house apart, but I can’t find these god damn undies. Another day goes by, still nothing… Then a break in the case! I walk in the door after work and i immediately smell dog shit. The dog did his business in the house, great. I start my search for the source of the smell and I eventually find it. I grab gloves and a roll of paper towels and get ready for clean up. As I bend over to pick it up I see something strange. A streak of pink… WHAT?? I look a little closer and sure enough, mixed in with the dog shit is glittery pink fabric. That little bastard came downstairs and ate the girls thong while we were in the other room! Hahaha I couldn’t believe it. I was baffled. So, I took a few pictures, sent them to the girl so she would believe me and cleaned the house…

Pussy so good the dog couldn’t resist.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6x9tug/i_swear_the_dog_stole_your_thong_mf