These days it seemed like everything was on repeat. The monotony hour to hour was excruciating, but I loved him. I realized that lately I had been living in this fantasyland my imagination had concocted. I knew I wasn’t as happy as I could be, I knew it wasn’t healthy to live in my head so much, but I loved him. At least I thought I loved him.
In the mornings I had class to go to. There were only a few more weeks of my senior year of college and I could finally claim the degree I worked so hard to get. At the start of the year I was able to land an amazing internship at a company I could have only dreamed of working for when I enrolled and now it seems that the internship is heading for a full-time position. My social life is great and I tend to spend plenty of free time with good friends that I love dearly. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have met Sam. Was that a good thing?
Often Kyra, Olivia, Blake, and myself would meet at The Coffee Club on Saturday mornings. They would typically bring whatever rotation of boyfriends they had that month and I would come alone. There wasn’t anything wrong with that and it was usually an amazing time. Conversations spanned many topics and the energy was always positive. I remember the day they invited Sam. He was a little over six feet tall, dark hair, fit, and he had a beautiful smile. It really didn’t take long for us to hit it off and I still believe they only invited him with the sole purpose of setting us up. They always felt like I needed someone in my life.
They were right, too. Even though I thought I always needed someone in my life, after so many failed attempts through high school and college I began to give up for the time being. That was until Sam came along. That spark phase they play out in those romance movies and steamy books you find in the dark corners of bookstores is addictive. Sam and I frequented the local bars around our small college town, we had romantic dinners, double dates, and we even went on a vacation together a few months ago. Miami will always be a weekend to remember, at least to us.
I loved him. I thought I loved him. I was a virgin when we met. I had fooled around with plenty of guys before, but I had never gone all the way. Sam taught me everything that I know about sex. He gave me my first orgasm, we experimented with multiple toys, and he was amazing at crossing the threshold between gentle touches and rough play. I know, he sounds like an amazing catch. In our relationship, however, Sam’s career came first.
By the time I was a senior in college, Sam had already graduated and had been developing his career in business for four years. He worked late nights, early mornings, weekends and even though I respected his ambition so much it left me feeling undesirable most days. It seems silly to think that way, but Sam had recently explained a big change was coming in his life. We had been seeing each other for a year at this point and I had already guessed what was to come. Sam had an amazing opportunity laid in his lap. A prestigious company based in New York wanted him to relocate and he jumped on the offer immediately. I don’t blame him at all, but this was a lot for me to consider seeing as the news came just a week ago.
I have never felt this torn in my life before. I wanted to go with him, I wanted to pursue this and watch both of our careers and lives bloom together, but this was so sudden. Moving to a whole new state, leaving behind my friends and family, leaving behind everything I know. I was scared and I told Sam that I didn’t want to hold him back. He told me he would give me a week to think it over and it has been the only thing on my mind. Well, honestly, not the only thing…
It was a lot to think about, but the only conclusion I could imagine is that even though Sam was amazing it just wasn’t the life I could picture myself in. If you asked me a year ago I would have said differently but as time goes on ideas of your future just change. His career would always come first and maybe there was a woman out there who could handle a lifestyle like that, but not me. I would always be more down to earth, looking for the little things in life, and cherishing moments more than accomplishments. In short, we were just growing apart but I was too scared to commit to my answer to him.
Whenever I had a lot on my mind the only remedy that seemed to work was masturbating. It always felt so good to just push everything in my head to the side for a little while and just free myself.
I got out of the shower and finished my nightly routine of lotion and creams as I made my way to my bed. The only light in the room was from a lamp on my bedside table so it was dim. I let out a long breath and got ready.
I traced my hands from my hips up my sides ending next to my boobs. I circled my fingers around my nipples feeling them get hard in the cool air of my bedroom. There was so much on my mind, but I pushed it all aside and thought of the first time Sam made me cum. Even beginning to think of it started to make me wet. We were in his apartment watching some stupid movie drinking glass after glass of wine. There was a cheesy sex scene that played out and after I glanced at him to see him already looking at me. I felt like such a small animal being watched by some alpha predator. He leaned in and pushed his tongue inside my mouth while cupping my boobs. There was only one thought in my head at that moment, he could do anything he wanted to and I wouldn’t stop it for a second. I wrapped my arms around him as he pushed me back on the couch, towering over me. He sat up and took his shirt off in one quick motion reaching down and unbuttoning mine right after. My stomach was exposed and he took a second to admire my body as I laid under him on the couch.
I reached behind me to take off my bra, he grabbed it and threw it to the ground. I didn’t have it off for a few seconds before I felt his warm tongue lick around my nipples. His hands traced up and down my legs up to my hips and sides. I knew he could feel my skin reacting to his touch. While he had me in his mouth I reached down and felt his cock pressed against the inside of his pants. There was no way it was comfortable and I needed to get it out. I felt for his button and zipper and undid them with one hand. The pressure relieved and his bulge pressed in his underwear outside of his pants. I cupped it in my hand gently as he moved up to my neck. I could feel him sucking like he was a vampire needing to eat.
I pulled on his underwear and finally felt his cock release. It was so fucking hard. I knew what he was thinking, it was a personal bragging right after all. He was about to to fuck a virgin and he couldn’t contain himself.
“Please be gentle.”
“Of course.”
My pants came off and I could feel the heat of his body against my legs. It was comforting. He looked me straight in the eyes while on top of me and reached his hand down. He put it gently on top of my panties with two fingers on top of my labia. My panties were already wet. He smirked. I pulled him in close to me as he pulled my panties to the side. I felt him run his fingers up and down for a few seconds before gently starting to slide them in. There was a pressure, almost painful, but it was quickly replaced with a pleasure I had never felt before. I know I bled but the fact that he made no deal of it at all was beautiful. His fingers filled me up and as he moved them I could only let out shallow gasps. His soft but deep moans kept pushing me to the edge. I had never felt anything like this in the world.
He kissed my neck again while his fingers started to pick up the pace. I reached down and started to rub my clit slowly while his warm breath rolled over my neck. I could feel it coming. He brought his head up and met my gaze while his fingers kept a steady pace.
“Please make me cum, Sam. Please.” I begged.
“Cum for me.”
My body recoiled as I pulsed around his fingers. He stopped the motions but held them there as I tightened around them. My upper body tightened as I rose up putting my mouth against his, my arms wrapping around his head. I couldn’t have imagined a better way to lose my virginity.
My phone vibrated on the table next to me. I stopped rubbing myself and pulled up the covers ready to come crashing back down to earth. I was ready to see a text from Sam, but instead it was a friend request notification. I opened the app and sat straight up in bed in disbelief. It was from Henry! We had been best friends in high school until he left before senior year started. I had made a new profile before college to try to re-establish my online presence and I must have completely forgotten to add him again. Seeing his request pop up brought a smile to my face. I laid back down, accepted it, and started to scroll through his profile…
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/uvt7om/a_lost_connection_part_1_mf_romance
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