I’m in need of feedback for a worldbuilding I’m going to use in a story NSFW!

Read everything before clicking the link.
hi, I’m looking for feedback, comments, critiques, observations and anything else like that, I’ve written a worldbuilding as complete as I could and I have some ideas of what I’m going to do next, but I also welcome suggestions. That said, here are some important caveats:
1- The text is long.
2- this was originally written in Portuguese with all my errors undetectable by word and I only made two revisions in writing, then I went through a site that translated it into English, a site that has the bad habit of getting some excerpts in long texts and repeat them a few times, but the site translates long texts, so it’s an advantage.
3- this material is at least erotic, if not pornographic, it includes sadomasochism and other things, if it’s not your kind of thing don’t read it! And please don’t tell me that writing something like this is sick or wrong, I’ve had a lot of criticism from people who weren’t comfortable with these subjects who condemned me for things more vanilla than that.
the link: [Maso-verse](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nrSMgxERgZ9kTG5U25A8gAeCMOrLaHs8SmSM4fREyeI/edit?usp=sharing)

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/usiw64/im_in_need_of_feedback_for_a_worldbuilding_im