‘Good God he’s ridiculously hot.’ I thought to myself. The way he smiles at the camera, his steel blue eyes, even his stupid green hair had grown on me. I used to hate him with a passion, the sound of his voice literally made me want to stab myself in the ears with some blunt, serrated and rusty object. Even so, his Irish accent and inability to shut the fuck up had become so attractive, there was nothing I could do, I was hooked. Hopelessly and irreversibly attracted to some idiot I had accidentally discovered online when forced to try a dating website. It took me a while to catch on to the fact that he was hilarious and charismatic beyond all reason, but then once I did, it all went downhill fast.
Jack. Ridiculous and out of control, little Irish Jack.
He wouldn’t stop messaging me, all Goddamn day, every day until I would reply. I never thought it would turn into what it has but my God am I glad it did. This is my story, of being sure I would never find love again, and finding so much more when I found Jack.
My ex-husband was a lying, cheating sack of shit. Yes, I will admit we had a fantastic love life, the sex was amazing. But he was far from a loving man, he was selfish in more ways than one and when I found out about the other women (which I had suspected all along) it all just spiralled into a messy divorce, and a long line of one night stands, and a lot of alcohol. I became very depressed and anti-social and that’s when my best friend Kelly forced me to sign up to a ridiculous online dating website that she had known about for a while and knew a lot of people who met their spouses on. So, in an attempt to resurrect my shattered love life, I obliged. The questions were, well…it was painful to say the least. I made my profile and answered a bunch of nonsense I couldn’t see really mattering to anyone, but I did it…all under the watchful eye of Kelly. In the end, we did have a bit of fun, I tend to have a sense of humour once the rum is flowing, and I imagine this is what got Jack’s interest in me in the first place.
Tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?
My name is Niki, I’m 33, living in Scotland at the moment but travel frequently for work. I like to write and read, I play guitar and listen to a very vast and diverse amount of music. I generally am not a fan of other members of my species and think dating websites are retarded. I like to be happy, however, I tend to suck really bad at it.
What do you do for a living?
Write, fight with publishers, yell at my computer, throw manuscripts in the trash then light them on fire, eventually regret these choices, re-write drunk, edit sober.
Are you a cat person or a dog person? Think carefully.
I have a fish named Edward.
Are you a vegetarian?
No.
What did you do last weekend? Anything fun?
Probably, if I remember I’ll let ya know. Pretty sure there was a substantial amount of Jameson’s Irish whisky involved. And perhaps some great choices…like singing Bon Jovi songs at karaoke.
What’s your sign? Do you believe in star signs?
Is this a serious question? I’m not that chick, sorry.
Do you know what Chinese zodiac you are?
Holy shit. This is why I hate people.
What’s your family like?
If they still talked to me I would let ya know, pretty sure they aren’t big fans.
What’s your favourite cocktail? Do you have a signature drink?
Anything with an alcohol content of above 40%
What’s your normal weekend like?
Not too sure if I have ever had one of those.
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Morning? No, I’ll pass thank you…I like the night.
This is just the beginning of a short story you can download for FREE on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B074V91WCG
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Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/6uggxe/virtual_connection_mf