First, I’d like to thank the volunteer literotica editor, Neuroparenthetical, for the superb editorial service. I sent them an atrocious block of text and they helped me turn it into a story. It took a while for both of us and I really appreciate them and all other editors who do what they do for the love of reading.
May not be your thing if you prefer monsters to ask for consent before being monsters.
Enjoy! :)
Johnny Edgerider vs The Big Bang!
An Odyssey of Lust
Part One: Johnny Pulls a Real Witch
Johnny Edgerider was just like any small town man on Earth. Though he held big city plans on a back burner, he would not chase them. Johnny was the kind of guy who set aside his dreams to help the family farm; the kind of guy who would pull over to fix a stranger’s flat tire; the kind of guy who would attend church and help the Amish people raise barns. On top of that, Johnny had it all! He was good-looking, quick-witted, strong-willed, and had a body built like an ancient Greek warrior to hold it all together.
For Johnny, turning away from his youthful dreams was not a difficult decision. The simple life of a small town farmer was not a glamorous one, but he did not need anything more than the love of Anna Pickett. The young, red headed woman that lived next door was all Johnny needed to be a happy man. With this cute neighbor girl being sweet on him and her family getting along with his family, everything was pointing to the start of Johnny’s perfect life. Here before him sat the most delicious-looking slice of American Dream pie, ready to be fully enjoyed.
That was before the aliens came to Earth and ruined Johnny’s picnic.
These strange off-world creatures were roughly humanoid in shape, but that was just about the only human thing about them. They were bipedal creatures with blank, smooth faces. How they sensed the area around them was, and still is, a mystery to the people of Earth. Not one alien in the delegation was shorter than 8 feet tall. Though they towered over every human they encountered, not one person considered them hostile. The aliens were gentle; they moved their limbs with fluidity and grace. It was mesmerizing and it subconsciously soothed most humans’ natural distrust.
When contact was finally established, they claimed to come in peace, with an offer to join the intergalactic establishment: a government they called the Universal Coalition. They offered humanity advancements in education, space flight, weaponry, medicine, agriculture, and even art and entertainment. Life on Earth would improve dramatically, practically overnight. The catch? Half the human population would have to join the space marines and leave immediately for training. The leaders of Earth thought this was a fair trade, and a global lottery was used to select the ones who would serve.
Now, 6 months after the deal was made, Johnny was shoulder to shoulder with other human men while they rode in a bumpy troop transport vehicle. His wavy, shoulder-length blonde hair was gone, shorn off by a dull buzzer that had yanked as much as it had cut. His bright blue eyes, once soft and wide, were now hard, and they narrowed in intense focus. He was just one of many who had been chosen to leave Earth. Though many humans believed the deal was worth the exchange, the ones off-planet and fighting battles they did not understand likely disagreed.
When the captain marched into the cabin, all the Marines snapped to attention. Captain Howell was a hard man with patchy stubble on his heavily-scarred face. He walked with a limp and chewed a cigar. His words, sometimes encouraging but often berating, were loud, and he spoke them with a growl that demanded respect. He was dressed exactly like the other marines; it was an effective way to disguise rank on a battlefield. The only symbol of that superior rank was his palpable, absolute confidence. It was more than enough to command loyalty from these young, untested men.
“Listen up, Marines!” Captain Howell barked. “The rumors are true. We are being deployed to planet Evander Fi as reinforcements. A seed witch infestation has popped up and it is not looking good for the aliens living there. The rumors are true. We are being deployed to planet Evander Fi as reinforcements. A seed witch infestation has popped up and it is not looking good for the spices of aliens living there.”
“Seed witches?! Oh God, no!” the man next to Johnny cried out in despair.
Johnny did not react; he was resigned to fight this war no matter where they sent him. He did, however, think that seed witches were a bit extreme for a first deployment.
“Sir! This one’s going soft on us!” a woman who was handling equipment spoke up. She gave the marine standing above her a piercing look.
“That’s right, private, seed witches! You got a problem with that?” Captain Howell asked out the side of a sneer.
The captain stopped in front of the wilting man. He pushed his ugly face close to the panicking marine’s.
“S-sir. Yes, sir. I c-can’t fight seed witches! I’ll die, sir!” the man began to cry.
“Sir, he’s gone completely limp,” the woman said, shaking her blonde head. “Humanity deserves better.”
The captain looked scornfully upon the sobbing man. Though his eyes softened, his orders did not. “You’re going out there, private. You can cry and moan all you like, but you’re here now. If all you are is fodder, then you will still serve.” He turned his attention to the equipment manager. “Do what you can for him, but don’t waste resources. You’re going out there, private. You can cry and moan all you like, but you’re here now. If all you are is fodder, then you will still serve.”
The captain turned his attention to the equipment manager. “Do what you can for him, but don’t waste resources.” Then, he addressed the rest of the group with what would be his final inspirational speech.
“Seed witches are not impossible to deal with. I’ve personally conquered 5 of them. If any of you must die, I will not accept any failure to take at least one of them with you. Is that understood?”
Most of the marines, including Johnny, spoke at once:
“Sir, yes Sir!”
“Good!” the captain shouted. “Now, I feel like it’s better to get one out while you’re in the transport. If the witches sense eagerness, you will be dead in seconds.”
The captain joined his own personal equipment handler and started preparing for battle.
Johnny decided to follow the captain’s advice, since the man had been here before. He looked down at his equipment manager, Elaine. She looked back up at him. They shared the same determined look. Her brown hair was pulled back in a tight, military-approved, ponytail, and her uniform was spotless. They were both on a mission to save the universe.
“Do you wish to finish now?” she asked firmly.
This woman was not his sweet Anna back home, and he was glad. Johnny did not want to picture his future wife in this war. He wanted to tell the handler “no,” but he knew his heart could not be allowed to make this choice.
“Please,” was all Johnny said.
The material handler began to suck Johnny’s cock with intense vigor, just like all the other women positioned in front of each marine. These handlers were trained and prepared to serve each cock for the coming battle. The handler would also follow their assigned marine out into combat to aid them if necessary.
It was a strange situation, but, as humans were discovering, the universe cared little for Earth’s customs. Like now, as they all feared for their lives In the midst of an oral orgy, they all feared for their lives. The moment could not have been any more surreal to any of them. Thankfully, humanity was already on top of keeping a cock hard. The modified little blue pill was taking effect, nerves be damned – well, almost everyone’s nerves.
Johnny tried to focus on his own situation, but he was finding it hard to enjoy the blowjob enough to orgasm. It did not help that the man next to him was sobbing and begging for his life.
Whitney, his handler, was doing her best to raise both the crying marine’s spirit and his cock. He was not responding to her efforts, and the blonde was growing impatient and disappointed.
Johnny noticed Whitney’s annoyance, grabbed her hand, and pulled her over to him and Elaine. They all knew the marine next to him was a waste. The material handler seemed relieved to help someone who would benefit from her services.
Elaine made room for her comrade. Whitney moved in to service Johnny’s balls as Elaine worked his cock. Johnny spread his legs, invading the crying man’s space. He placed a hand on each woman’s head and held them while they worked. Elaine was gagging faintly. She was moving her mouth as far down as she could. Whitney’s tongue was swirling on soft skin, caressing his balls. The women were damn good at their job. Before long, Johnny felt the hot rush of his orgasm.
“I’m cumming!” he cried as a warning.
Elaine pulled back, sucking just the head of his cock as her hand jacked him off. She worked him throughout the entirety of his orgasm and drank his cum down. She moved aside and Whitney took her place. When it came to seed witches, it was best not to leave anything in the chamber.
Once they were satisfied with the cleanup, the female marines moved back to adjust themselves and prepare for battle. Johnny finished his own adjustments. They all wore black skin suits with a small utility belt that contained survival rations, a pop-up tent, a sleeping bag, basic medical supplies, and other comfort items – all things Earth marines would normally carry in large backpacks. These items, and more, were miniaturized with alien technology. It was strange going into battle with little armor and no weapons, but this was not a conventional war.
All around Johnny, other marines were finishing up. Some were too amped up, not able to climax under the pressure. Other handlers were moving in to help, having already serviced their marines. It was becoming obvious that a few of the men were going to go into this fully loaded. The mounting tension was made worse by an automated announcement.
“30 seconds to deployment.”
Johnny Edgerider felt his stomach drop. Elaine moved to stand next to him, and Whitney joined her still-weeping partner. She leaned back and whispered something to Elaine, who nodded, and then stood firmly at attention. The captain loudly finished his own business, again asserting his command status by shouting through his entire climax. Within 15 seconds, all of the marines and handlers were standing in rows and facing the drop ramp.
The noise around Johnny began to fade as the fear set into his mind. He felt his heart pounding, and began to count each beat as if it were his last. He thought of red hair floating in a breeze, set against a backdrop of bright blue summer sky. He thought of green eyes that wrinkle during big, genuine smiles. He thought of musical laughter emanating from soft, pink lips.
Then, the transport door slammed open.
The harsh light of a different sun blinded Johnny as he filed out of the metal transport. When his feet touched soil, he started running, blinking as he went. He was trained to move forward on instinct. He felt Elaine beside him, matching his pace. He felt her fumbling for something, but he couldn’t focus on her completely. Elaine’s battlefield responsibilities were very different from his own. When Johnny was finally able to see his surroundings, it only took another half step before his mind took in the carnage.
*
*
*
“Seed witches – an absolute fucking nightmare,” the instructor said, pacing in the front of the classroom.
He was an older man; he wore glasses, and glared through them at the room full of young men and women. His classical Earth military uniform was crisp; it was adorned with metals and pins that suggested he was very accomplished.
“What? They do worse than crop circles?” a tall, decent-looking recruit with freckles across his nose asked mockingly.
A few of the other recruits laughed, but only for a second. The instructor’s face did not so much as flinch.
“No, by all means laugh while you can,” the instructor said evenly.
He stopped pacing and stared hard at the young man who had spoken. For several long seconds a tense silence stretched out, and the freckled man’s smile slowly melted away.
“I can picture it: you, your face all twisted up like you’re having the best moment of your miserable life and then, you know what happens?”
The instructor did not wait for the man to acknowledge his question.
“Poof! You turn to ash. Float away on the wind like sand. What a way to go, huh?”
He resumed pacing as a holo pad expanded on the floor. A flickering, 3D hologram of a creature appeared in the area above the glowing disk. None of them could really believe it was real. It was unlike anything ever seen on Earth, but some of the recruits thought of the word “wraith.”
“This is a seed witch’s true form,” the older man said. “We do not know much about them. We do know conventional weapons and heavy artillery have no effect. No one really knows what they want or why their nests pop up. They are part of what the wider universe calls, ‘the Lude.’”
The students groaned. The Lude was some kind of weird intergalactic invasion of twisted monsters that could not be talked down or reasoned with. They only wanted to destroy. Humans were constantly having to adjust their understanding of what could or could not exist. Johnny did not know much about the Lude, or the wider universe, for that matter – only what he was told at briefings like this one. He just knew he was conscripted to fight for 5 Earth years, and then he could go home to his beloved. Johnny knew he’d try to kill anything they put between him and his future.
The instructor allowed that break of discipline, but then sternly continued.
“As I was saying, we can’t kill them – at least not in the normal way.”
He clicked a remote, and the holographic creature was replaced by a perfect 3-D recording taken from a soldier wearing a body cam. The instructor didn’t start it up right away. He decided that even this rowdy bunch deserved a warning.
“This will be hard to watch, but you need to see it. What we are about to see is not what this poor son-of-a-bitch saw. The witches fuck with your mind, make you see things that aren’t real. If you ever expect to encounter one, the best thing to do is remember what they really are. This horror show you’re about see might just be the edge that helps you survive. Keep your eyes open, recruits. This isn’t even the worst of what’s waiting for us out there.”
He pressed play.
*
*
*
Johnny saw a field of madness all around him. Men were having sex with vile, shadowy figures in every position imaginable. The wraiths were nearly skeletal, with what looked like stolen skin stretched over their thin bones. They wore cloaks that moved like living shadows, and their eyes glowed red from within the faceless depths of their hoods. They were everywhere, flowing out of the woods like a wave of destruction. Men were running to embrace the seed witches, colliding with them as if they were long-separated lovers in an airport terminal. Johnny felt shocked and sickened, unable to bring himself to do what all these other brave men were doing. Then, he saw the worst thing he could possibly imagine.
Anna Pickett, his fiancé and his whole reason to survive this war, was stumbling through the battlefield. She was wearing the space marines’ uniform and looked as if she had just survived hard combat. As he watched in numbing horror, Anna missed a step and collapsed, sprawling out on the ground. Johnny didn’t think; he didn’t give himself time to remember his training.
“Anna!” he screamed.
He began to run as fast as he could towards his lover.
“Wait! Johnny, don’t!” Elaine shouted.
Elaine tried to catch him, but he slipped away too quickly. She gave chase, but saw he was going to outpace her by a lot. In growing horror, she realized he was going to engage the enemy without her help. Elaine gave everything she could to get more speed out of her shorter legs. Johnny’s life depended on it.
“I’m here!” Johnny said. “Anna, it’s me!”
He slid to a stop in perfect base-stealing form. He gathered Anna’s small and weak body into his arms.
Anna’s eyes fluttered open and found his. Her face lit up when she recognized him.
“It is you! I thought I was dying!” Anna said, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“How did you get here? Johnny asked. “You were too young for the lottery.”
He stroked Anna’s cheeks, clearing away the dirt and tears.
“They came for more of us and I got picked this time. Oh, baby. I hated being away from you so long!”
She kissed Johnny firmly on the lips.
He felt the love of his life in his arms. She was here against all odds, and that was all that mattered. Johnny had missed her so much. He felt the ache of that loneliness melting away. Her mouth was making him fuzzy with desire, and he could tell from Anna’s passionate kiss that she was also becoming aroused. Without breaking the kiss, Anna laid back on the ground and Johnny positioned himself between her creamy thighs. He did not seem to care that her pants had disappeared on their own.
They stopped kissing long enough to moan in delight. Johnny effortlessly sank into her body. His cock fully nestled into her warmth for the first time. They had agreed to wait until he got back home from the war to take this step in their relationship. Johnny was glad he did not have to wait that long. If only he had only known the nature of the war he’d been leaving to fight, he would have insisted on the consummation of their love much sooner.
It was as if Anna was having the same thoughts.
“Baby, I was so scared you would be here! If you gave yourself to these women before me, that would have hurt. Now, you can have me first. You can let me carry your seed without fear of these witches.”
“Oh, Anna! I would have been so ashamed. I should have given you my love back home.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now and that’s all that matters. Safe with me.”
Anna wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly against her as she moaned into his ear.
Johnny began to move, thrusting softly and easily at first. When their passion began to rise, so did the intensity of his motions. She felt tight and perfect on the inside. Johnny berated himself for waiting this long to experience sex. It was incredible, and with Anna, it was more than just good feelings. It became a melding of hearts with a physical act. She was meant to be his, and he hers.
They looked into each other’s eyes as they grew even more passionate. Anna was moving her hips in time with his thrusting; it was not a virginal thing to do, but Johnny was too far gone to notice.
“Are- are you going to…?” Anna whispered up at him. “I’m getting close.”
Anna looked up at him with shy eyes. She sounded as if she was a little scared of it.
“Yes!” Johnny groaned through clenched teeth. “Me too.”
“Oh, please baby! Please!” Anna cried.
She moved with him, helping them both get closer to the shared orgasm.
“Johnny don’t!” Elaine cried out. “It’s a Seed Witch, you have to hold on!”
Johnny looked over his shoulder at Elaine. She was red-faced and panting from the sprint.
Johnny suddenly felt very strange; he had nearly forgotten where he was. He glanced down at the body writhing beneath him and saw Anna looking at him with fear in her green eyes.
“No, Johnny. It’s me, Anna.”
His lover continued to move, not allowing the growing climax to slip away.
“Your teammate is confused. It’s part of these witches’ power. You can’t fall for it, Johnny.”
“Exactly! You can’t fall for it!” Elaine yelled. “Make her cum Johnny, but hold yours! If it’s really her, you’ve lost nothing.”
Johnny thought Elaine had a good point. He would not need to rush through this. He was not aware of seed witches attacking conventionally. They could fuck for hours in this field and nothing would happen to them. Johnny began to pound his hips into harder into Anna; the need to bring her over the edge was instantly stronger than his desire to be gentle with his fiancé.
“Johnny, baby! Wait! You can’t make me do this alone. Please! I want you to cum with me, inside me. I’ll hold you there and make you a baby. Would you like that? Please Johnny! Fill me up! Put your baby in there!” Anna cried out and moved her own body in response to his new aggression.
Johnny was cutting it too close. Those words were doing it for him, touching his deepest desires. He knew if this kept going, he would be doomed. He still did not completely believe this was a seed witch. He wondered how it could have known what Anna looked and sounded like. That should not be possible.
The words his sweetheart was moaning into his ear were making his brain fuzzy. His lover begged him to do the most natural thing a man could do, and Johnny really wanted to do it for her. But as Anna moaned and begged, Elaine did not surrender. She was right there beside Johnny, encouraging him to keep going just a little longer. His face was red and sweaty with the tension.
Both Johnny and Anna were trembling in their effort to hold back their orgasms. Johnny was mentally saying goodbye to life, knowing he was about to lose. On the off chance this was actually a seed witch, he wanted to be sure he at least said goodbye.
“Anna!” Johnny cried as he threw his hips forward in surrender.
Anna screeched, piercing through to Johnny’s mind and stalling his orgasm just before he let it go. He looked down in shock at the sound his Anna had just made. He saw the twisted features of a seed witch. As he watched, the witch squirmed and thrashed, doing her best to stay corporeal. The witch’s features were becoming as smoke-like as its cloak. With one last hateful sneer, it lost all solidity and floated away.
Elaine shoved Johnny and he fell onto his ass. His face was pale from shock. He could not fully process what had just happened to him. Elaine slapped his face to snap him out of it. Then she quickly took his still-throbbing cock into her mouth. He had been close – too close. She needed to make sure he was level-headed and clear.
“Wha- what? Elaine? I…” He stammered.
Johnny was lost, he could not fathom the fact that Anna was just… gone. He ejaculated into Elaine’s mouth but barely registered that it was happening.
Elaine wiped her lips on the back of her hand. Johnny’s eyes were unfocused and distant. She was trained for this.
“Hey! Look at me,” Elaine shouted. “Who did you see?”
She grabbed Johnny’s face and made him look at her. His eyes began to fill with tears.
“Anna. My fiancé. It was so real,” Johnny sobbed.
His eyes began to fill with tears.
“Listen to me! That really fucking sucks but, we are still in this fight. Men are dying while you’re sitting here feeling sorry for yourself. Get your ass up and fuck!”
That worked. Johnny blinked; the tears rolled down his reddening cheeks. He wiped them away and nodded to Elaine.
They helped each other off the ground. All around them, the orgy of death continued. Seed witches flew off, cackling with glee after dusting a marine. On the other side, marines were hunched over, on their knees or just laid out. The female marines were helping the men through their personal moments of trauma. Several equipment handlers were walking around aimlessly, their marines having failed to finish a witch. Whitney was one of these women. She staggered through the chaos and joined Johnny and Elaine.
“It was his God-damned sister. That’s why he freaked out. The sick fuck didn’t last ten seconds,” Whitney said, and shook her head in disgust.
“We’d be glad to have you join us,” Elaine said, not commenting on the personal love interests of her marine.
“Sounds better than wandering around like some of these others,” Whitney said.
She made a rude gesture at the females without partners.
Johnny looked out at the battle and saw that it was going to be a total rout of the human fighters. They were outnumbered 10 to 1, and while some of the marines were winning their personal battles, more witches were circling like sharks. Johnny saw the captain in the midst of a carnal maelstrom. The marines with the most stamina had gathered in an orgy of survival around their leader and were giving the witches everything they had.
Captain Howell himself was fucking one witch from behind and was wrist deep inside another. The captain sneered as he fucked and fisted them. The two seed witches looked as terrified as any wraith could look. It was a brave show of defiance that would ultimately amount to nothing.
Despair flooded Johnny’s heart when he looked up and saw a funnel cloud of seed witches focused on the captain’s last stand. His first mission was a D-Day in space. Just like that terrible event in Earth’s history, he’d been sent to be fodder.
‘Oh, Anna.’ Johnny thought. ‘That moment, it had seemed so real. If I’m about to die anyways, can it be real? At least for me?’
The way the Witch had turned in the end flashed in Johnny’s memory like a lightning bolt: the shadows falling away as if it were the one scorned. The darkness had used Anna for its own sick and twisted purpose.
Johnny’s lip curled in anger as he absorbed the sight of death above him. What the vile seed witches did to him was unforgivable. His mind kept circling one, unrelenting thought: ‘The seed witches had used Anna! His Anna!” The seed witches used Anna! His Anna!’
Johnny Edgerider turned his blue eyes back to the battlefield. A seed witch that was approaching him flickered in the overcast light. It assumed some features of Anna, but only for an instant. The witch hesitated, realizing that something was wrong. Johnny was glaring at the witch instead of lusting for it. The witch tried to change shape again and failed.
“That’s the fucking way, Private!” the captain yelled from his place in the orgy. “Get your ass over here!”
“I’m going to give it everything I’ve got,” Johnny said to the women beside him.
He stepped determinedly towards the seed witch that had targeted him. It looked like it wanted to retreat, but also as if it could not abandon its mission. The hesitation left the creature motionless and vulnerable.
“I intend to survive today,” Johnny continued. “That means I’m going to need everything you two have. Watch my ass out there and we’ll win this.”
“Damn right, Private Edgerider,” Elaine said. “We all got something to fight for.”
She adjusted her already-perfect bun and matched her marine stride for stride. She was staring daggers into the seed witch’s cowl as they approached it.
“These bitches don’t stand a chance!” Whitney added.
She ran up beside Johnny and gave his cock a few pumps with her hand. Johnny didn’t need the help. His cock was rock-hard and ready as he closed in on his prey.
“You look like you like it rough.” Johnny said.
He reached into the shadowy robes. He grabbed the bird-like creature by its throat and drove it off its feet and onto its back. Its screech was cut short by the impact with the ground.
Johnny found the place the creatures were using to collect their samples. Without looking too closely, he aimed his cock and shoved it inside the witch. It shuddered beneath Johnny’s strong grip. He began to thrust as hard and as fast as he could. With his newfound power and confidence, it only took him a few seconds to nearly face-plant into the ground. The weight of the witch had vanished completely beneath him, dissipating into a swirl of shadows. She had, in fact, liked it rough.
Elaine caught him; she was ready for the moment. She had seen how recklessly he’d gone for the witch. Part of her training was to be Johnny’s brains while he was in a lust-fueled fight.
“You good?” Elaine asked him while gently massaging his tight balls.
“I’m good. Probably for a while.” Johnny replied.
He stood up on steady legs and jogged towards the captain’s orgy. Just as one of the seed witches in the group cackled with victory, Johnny dove on top of it, replacing his comrade – now ash. This witch had already collected a sample, but Johnny shoved his cock inside of it anyways. He was determined to avenge the fallen marine. The witch did not know what to do, and it was already dangerously close to an orgasm from the last human. Within seconds, it burst apart, her own victory turned to ash around the human’s cock.
Johnny knelt in the midst of grunting marines and cackling witches. His cock throbbed from the stimulant racing through his veins and the primal satisfaction of fucking one’s prey to death. Johnny looked up to the storm of seed witches and released a bellowing roar that made his mouth taste like copper. It was a challenge that even a god would acknowledge. The black-robed witches fell from the sky like a sheet of death, but Johnny Edgerider did not falter.
*
*
*
Many long hours later, a field medic came running up to Johnny while he knelt in a strangely-silent field of flattened grass and pitted mud. There were no birds and no insects – only the sound of Johnny’s ragged breathing and the medic’s blustering voice.
“I-I’m sorry I wasn’t more prepared to help you. By the time word got back that someone survived, we couldn’t believe it. The whole sky fell on your head. You all should have died!” The medic said.
300 sets of female eyes glared at the disrespectful medic. They’d all just witnessed something that most who heard the tale second hand in the coming days, weeks, and even years would call an outright lie. A single human marine had challenged and defeated a horde of seed witches. Out of 300 men, he alone had survived. Johnny had done more than merely survive; he’d absolutely obliterated the witches. Even those who’d just borne witness to his heroism found it hard to believe.
Even the grizzly old captain Howell had fallen before the end. The old man had not looked distraught in the moments before he died. Johnny remembered the way the scarred face had looked at him. In the moments before his demise, the captain had looked at peace.
“I’m tired, Private,” the captain said.
His face was pale, but he tried to keep his hips moving.
He and Johnny were the last two left fucking. A much, much smaller group of witches skulked nearby, waiting for their turn with the humans. Even depleted to near annihilation, the unseeded witches would not retreat.
The witch under the captain’s body was running sharp nails lightly over the his back. It seemed to be having an effect on the man.
“It’s odd, you know?” he continued. “I thought I’d die on Earth. All my life I’ve known my death was inevitable. But I never considered that I would die on some fucked planet in an even more fucked universe. If I’d known, maybe I would have pulled the trigger at home. At least! I would have! Been buried!”
“Ooohhh, shit!” he gasped, struggling to hold on a little longer.
“Private! You have to kill this witch before she gets away. Swear to me!”
“I will, Captain Howell!” Johnny swore. “I will!”
He placed his hand on the witch’s throat.
“Fuuuuuuck yooooooooou!” captain Howell roared out when he drove his hips forward.
“Oh shit! It’s so good! Holy shit! Ahhggg!”
The man stiffened and his voice cut off completely. He had shuddered once, and then crumbled away.
“We did all die here,” Johnny said coldly, “just like we were supposed to. That’s why you weren’t ready.”
The medic hooked Johnny up to an IV and gave him a protein bar. Having been properly chastised, the young woman worked quietly for a while.
“You really did that? You defeated them all?” she asked, almost in a whisper.
Johnny looked at the medic with sunken eyes.
“Is the war over? Are we going home?”
“I very seriously doubt it. To both.”
“Then no. I have not yet defeated them all.”
Johnny looked up to the star-filled sky of some planet whose name he couldn’t even remember. The constellations were different here, splayed out in a strange formation across the black sky. Johnny had never realized how familiar he was with the layout of the stars around Earth. The remaining years of his service stretched out in front of him like an impossibly long prison sentence.
“…but I will if I have to,” Johnny said, defying anyone, and anything, that dared to get in his way.
*
*
*
Things were a little unstable after the massacre on Evander Fi. Command did not account for a victory on that planet and did not know what to do with their new foothold. The simple humanoid aliens of Evander Fi showed their gratitude to the saviors of their world by becoming indentured servants. It was an offer that the Universal Coalition could not turn down. It immediately conscripted the aliens into service roles in the military. This of course, added new value to the planet.
The details of the battle spread like a rumor through the universe, becoming more unbelievable by the day. Before long, humans and aliens alike considered it to be no more than wartime propaganda. The good guys always need a hero.
Johnny’s victory did not go unnoticed by his superiors. He was awarded with several medals and elevated to the rank of Captain. They gave him command of the new defensive stronghold on Evander Fi, and all the resources he would need to maintain it.
The marines assigned to the planet proudly called themselves Edgerider’s Dirty Fuckers in reverence to their captain’s legendary exploits. With his soldiers’ respect and his own level-headed leadership, Johnny ran his stronghold and unit effectively. For a time, the planet was peaceful, and the U.C. began to forget about it. A single rock was easy to ignore in a war that spanned the entire universe.
After 6 Earth months of good living, Edgerider’s Dirty Fuckers got more action than they were ready for.
“Bye! Have a good night!”
The noise of the crowded bar cut off immediately when the heavy door slammed shut. Heather shivered and pulled her service coat tighter around her body. She was new to this planet, but she could already tell she was going to like being a Dirty Fucker. Heather had expected this stronghold to be uptight and to the letter. She was discovering, to her relief, that her new unit knew how to cut loose.
Heather thought the captain was something to behold. Although she did not believe the stories about how he had fucked 1000 Seed Witches into dust, she did like the way he looked. She imagined how she might try to seduce her commanding officer, and approached the waiting hover pod.
Heather peered into the view glass of the transport pod. A sneer of distaste automatically appeared on her thin lips. One of the idiotic Evander race was sitting behind the steering controls with a placid look on its smooth face. Heather hated these aliens, and could not believe any human life was worth losing for such weaklings. Not only were they useless as solders, but they were slaves by choice. Heather refused to empathize with them. She would rather die than be a slave.
The night was cold, but not intolerable. Heather felt warmed by the drinks and the feelings of camaraderie from her new squad mates. She decided that she didn’t need to demean herself by taking a ride from this lowly wretch. Since the barracks were not that far away, Heather felt confident that she would be safe walking. She swayed a little as she walked by the transport pod. She did not even do the driver the courtesy of dismissing them before she left.
The street was quiet in the late hours of the night. Heather felt a little nervous about her situation. To take her mind off her own unease, Heather began to mumble to herself.
“Edgerider’s Dirty Fuckers. Ha! If only my parents could see me now.”
A strand of curly red hair fell across her face.
“That’s a hell of a thing to write home about. Hey dad! I serve a guy who fucked a thousand witches to death! Aren’t you proud?”
Heather laughed at her own wit.
She froze suddenly; the sound of a baby crying echoed down a narrow alley to her right. Heather waited for the sound to repeat, and after a few seconds, it did.
“Nope.” Heather said.
She was not that drunk, nor was she suicidal. She walked past the alley with a bit more speed.
If that had been the end of it, Heather probably would not have even remembered the moment. Unfortunately for her, a good hunter does not lose its prey after it dodges the first trap.
**due to word count, the rest of this will be posted directly to my profile**
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/uoiz8s/johnny_edgerider_vs_the_big_bang_space_scifi