The speech [MF]

*This story makes me a little sad but whatever. There are a couple people in my past I rarely post about…. This guy is one of them because it hurts.*

I’ve written briefly about dating this dude who had been obsessed with me for a year. I am not being conceded when I say this. He would agree. At times it got to unhealthy levels on his end, but he was always incredibly respectful to me in person. We hooked up after I found a photo album on his phone with photos from my social media. He admitted he jerked off to them and then we kind of started talking and would occasionally hook up after that.

He was a frat boy and fit a lot of stereotypes, including the fact that he always seemed to have girls around. I didn’t hold it against him, I just didn’t think we were that serious and I greatly underestimated how much he liked me.

*Yes I know I’m going to get hate for this but I had a general rule against getting serious with frat boys at the time. Why? Because I was friends with enough frat boys. Don’t get me wrong because I spent half of college in frat houses, but I didn’t want to date any of them. This was was in the 2010s in a conservative area. It was a strange time for fraternity culture. There’s a weird side note you didn’t want or need, but this was my general hesitation with this guy. I was into him, I just worried.*

One day we’re in his room and I ask about this girl who is always hanging around. She’s very cute and seemingly intelligent so I don’t really get his hang up.

Then he hits me with, “I’m waiting to feel something that I don’t feel with her.”

“What do you need to feel? Maybe you just don’t know yet.”

“I’m waiting until someone likes me who makes me feel the way I do around you. And trust me, I’ll know.”

*Holy. Fucking. Shit. I was not expecting Mr. Fratboy to say shit like that.*

Anyway, I looked up one day and realized I actually did like him very much and wanted to see where this went. It simply hit me that I thought about him all the time and missed him when he was gone.

After him chasing me for a year, when I finally told him I thought I had feelings for him this mother fucker gets weird. He disappears. He doesn’t text me for 48 hours and I get pissed. When he finally responds I politely tell him I made a mistake and that we should move on.

*Feelings are hard, yall.*

So this guy shows up at my house that evening and he’s practically in tears. I let him in but make him sit across the room and explain.

“I’m afraid to date you.”

“Ok. Well I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to date me so that makes it easy.”

“No I want to. I want to date you so much. I’m *afraid* to date you.”

“I think you should get out of my house.”

“Can you not understand why?”

“No! Why?”

*Then he says the thing that has haunted me for years. It still destroys me. I journaled about it later, but I didn’t even have to write it down. I would have remembered.*

“Because this is it for me. You’re it for me. I’m head over heels for you and if hasn’t even started. I’m either going to marry you or have my heartbroken, but you’re the love of my life either way. I was afraid to even respond because if you said no it would have killed me. That’s it. It’s over. I’m afraid of you!”

*Yes… That fucking happened. Like what the hell am I supposed to say to this?*

I don’t say anything because it’s by far the most romantic, raw thing anyone has ever said to me and I immediately melt. I run to him from across the room and jump into his lap. We start making out but he stops me.

“I need to know what this is? I need an answer before we go deeper.”

“Is it not obvious?”

“Are you my girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I your boyfriend?”

“Yes! Now let’s hook up!”

I’ve never seen anyone quite so happy in my life. He flips me over so he’s on top of me and lets me pull his shirt off. He grinds into me until I’m panting and begging him to fuck me.

“Can you call me your boyfriend again?”

*The woman in her 30s writing this just got a little misty at this memory.*

“You’re my boyfriend.”

He stands up, grabs my hand and pulls me towards my bedroom. He pulls me close so our chests are touching and then takes my shirt off when I put my hands above my head.

He puts a hand under my bra and I arch my back as he cups my breasts and starts kissing me deeply. “Say it again.”

I start laughing and put a hand to his cheek because he’s crying. “I’m your girlfriend.”

He gets on his knees and rips my shorts down and starts kissing all around my groin. I take my bra off and throw it away as he looks up at me and smiles. “I’m your boyfriend,” he says as he slides my underwear down and fondles my ass.

“I’m your girlfriend,” I say.

*Ugggg, I’m writing this stupid memory and we officially hit the tipping point where I’m even grossed out by us. Whatever. We were young and in love.*

When he lays me back on my bed I reach to take his belt off but he stops me. Instead he starts fingering me and asks repeatedly not to look away when I start burying my face.

*I’m fairly certain I still did. I was a shy soul then who thought my O face was weird because it didn’t look like porn.*

When I start shaking he holds my legs down and kisses me up and down my body. He REALLY takes his time too. It’s like he examines every inch of me. Finally I stick one of his damn fingers in my mouth and suck. I tell him he needs to fuck me immediately because I’m wet and desperate to feel him inside of me.

He pulls my hair gently then but doesn’t break eyes contact as he unbuckles his belt. He lets me pull his pants down and reach to bring him towards me.

*Btw, I never write about this because it gets clunky, but I ALWAYS used condoms until both partners got tested. I generally didn’t even fuck until I got the lab work. If you notice a general lag in my stories between meeting people and when we fuck, that’s actually often why. That’s the reality. My best friend was pre-med and very into safe sex. This bit about me is about to get important.*

So yeah, he’s about to enter me when I stop him and ask him if he has a condom. He says no and looks kind of confused. “Don’t you have some?”

“I’m out.”

He gets super weird. “What do you mean, you’re out? Who have you been having sex with?”

*In reality no one. My roommates all just shared a box and no one had replaced them after my best friend’s latest sex marathon with her gross boyfriend, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.*

“None of your business. Do we really want to go down a rabbit hole of who is more sexually active, Mr. Frathouse?”

And this is how I learned he had had sex with one other person and I’m an asshole who made far too many assumptions.

“Is the magic gone?” I ask.

“Am I still your boyfriend?”

“No shit. Of course you’re my boyfriend. Also I think it’s kind of cute you didn’t bring a condom because it’s unassuming.”

This is how we ended up in a CVS buying condoms. He was so shy about it he kept saying we needed to buy other things so we “weren’t suspicious.” When I asked what exactly he thought the clerk was going to suspect us of, we both started laughing and I swear didn’t stop the entire time until we left the store. It got to the point that people were noticing us, but not even in a way they were annoyed. We were more like the couple you were envious of because we kept laughing and flirting with each other.

*”V, why are you including this?” I don’t know! I just couldn’t write this story without this part because he was a precious soul and for a while we were REALLY happy. A little messy but happy.*

We got back into his car and on the drive home I smile at him, scoot over, and start playing with him over his jeans.

*Don’t do this btw. I had a friend total his car when we was getting road head. Apparently this post is all about safe sex.*

When we get to a traffic light he helps me get his pants down and let’s me take him into my mouth. Tbh, this isn’t even some of my best work. Im so excited and happy at this point that I don’t even do my normal buildup, I just slam into him.

He doesn’t mind.

He moans my name as he drives and gently pushes my head down. I take him all the way down my throat and don’t let up as he starts squirming. He even swerves the car at some point and ALMOST makes me stop. However, almost directly after he comes in my mouth and I am happy to swallow.*

When we get back to my place, we try to have sex right away but he’s nervous and just came so he tells me he needs a while. I tell him that’s fine, but take my top off before I go to make us tea.

*A classic move by young V. I often did seemingly normal activities without my shirt on if I wanted a dude to get hard. This had a very high success rate.*

He doesn’t last long. He pulls me into my room and strips me down again, this time bending me over so he can kiss and gently bite my ass.

“You can fuck me like this,” I say.

“Later,” he says as he flips me over and presses me down. “I want to watch you first.” That’s when he puts on a damn condom and FINALLY fucks me.

I claw at his back when he enters me and beg him not to stop. I still remember the way he held his forehead to mine and begged me to look at him.

And then he came in two seconds.

This was before men ate pussy (*yes, yes I know some of you did in 2012, but not this guy- I am exaggerating to convey my experiences and sexual growth*), and toys were off the table. However, after apologizing profusely he did ask me to touch myself which caught me off guard. He then told me for a year he had often jerked off to the thought of him walking in on me touching myself and then made me finish as he watched.

*I mean… I’m not going to say no to playing out that fantasy. I’m going to lean into it.*

“Please don’t make me do it. I’m so embarrassed,” I say.

“Oh V! I’m so sorry. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Yeah… we’re role playing, bro.”

“Oh shit!”

*Thus began our procession of playing out scenes he had jerked off to.*

I begged him not to make me do it and he told me I had to if I ever wanted to leave my bed. As I played with myself he would occasionally grab my breast or flick my nipple which was crazy hot. He also asked if I got wet when I was in CVS thinking of him and I told him I got wet all the time thinking of him. That was a hit with both of us.

That sent me over the edge. I came so hard my whole body shook and after he kept running his hands up and down me as I reacted to his touch.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t make you come.”

“You know what’s cool about you being my boyfriend? We have plenty of time to try again.”

*Ugggg, as you’ve probably guessed this man is not my husband. Even though he fucked up pretty big, he was very hard to break up with. He gave a similar speech about me being the love of his life when we ended things and it took a long time for him to recover. Even though I have mixed feelings about him overall, these windows remind me he was a really great person I was lucky to know in every way.*

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/um9osl/the_speech_mf