Found out my wife doesn’t count blow jobs [MF]

The wife and I got married at around 26 and I was the first person she had sex with. We’ve been married for 14 years. She said I was her first make-out session, her first sex, the first person to eat her out, but she had seen penises before because she’s a nurse (nursing home). No big deal.

She was mad at me the other day and said something along the lines of I don’t want to have sex but I’ll still give you blowjobs while I’m mad at you. First time we had really gotten into a fight, or she refused sex so I was really weirded out that she was still ok with blowjobs. So I asked why. She told me blowjobs don’t count.

It was immediately time to start digging into what this meant to her, because in our 14 years I had never heard this sentiment. So I asked what her first blowjob was. It wasn’t me.

She said right after nursing school one of her long time guy friends came back from Afghanistan. He had horrible injuries including not being able to move his upper arms well. Said it was a central spine injury. At a party he was at she noticed that he wouldn’t come out of the bathroom. She called in and asked what was going on. She went in and said he tearfully told her he could wipe after he took a crap. She was totally used to this working in a nursing home so she offered to help. No problem, she does it all the time. He stands up and she wipes him, tells him not to be embarrassed.

She noticed his erection and asked about it thinking it might be from his spinal injury. He said that it was because he wasn’t able to ejaculate due to his injury and was backed up. Told her not to get offended, but it just happened all the time, and he was getting used to the discomfort. She asked how she could help him, and…he told her.

She then tells me how she jerked him off and he blew his apparently huge load in about a minute. Said that right after he was done he was still erect. He thanked her and she said she still felt bad. She then tried to jerk him off again, but it was taking longer so he suggested a blowjob. She gave him a blowjob and he then came pretty quick. She told me he accidentally came in her mouth but she didn’t want it on her dress so she let him.

Since then whenever someone she knew had blue balls she would offer a blowjob in a matter-of-fact way. She has blown about 5 guys. This is all news to me as of 1 day.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/twmy7o/found_out_my_wife_doesnt_count_blow_jobs_mf

33 comments

  1. The skeptic in me is going crazy rn.

    But if this is real…congrats I guess?

  3. well then she should be fairly good at them… so good for you

  9. Had me until the guy who cant move his arms is shitting at some party?

  11. Well it’s a good thing. She likes to suck dick and swallow. That’s pretty great. If she blows someone else… Is that bad if she still loves you?

  12. Man i sprained both of my arms again, third time this month what are the odds.

  13. She’s the Florence Nightingale of cock sucking you should be proud. True American hero.

  15. I just can’t get over blowing someone after wiping their shitty ass..

  18. I’m still amazed she would give you head when she’s pissed off at you. I’m not sure that is the best idea, cum to think of it.

  19. This reminds me of the other day, I was on my way to work in an Uber and my driver mentioned how he had been with an x number of women… later on he mentions he didn’t count women who only gave him bjs, I’m like, no dude… those numbers count too.

  20. Your wife is magical and you don’t know how good you have it. You’re gonna ruin it.

  21. Your wife is magical and you don’t know how good you have it. You’re gonna ruin it.

  22. She damn well knows it counts. She’s just hoping she can convince you that sucking cock isn’t cheating. There are very few stories on here that stop at handjobs or oral. If she thinks oral is the same things as a handshake let’s say then I’d just about bet she’s had sex w others and this will be the first of the trickle truths you get to soften you up to the idea of her being w other men.
    She’s already outlined you have been her first everything and it sounds like she wanted to experience more.
    Just get ready for the other shoe to drop because I doubt she’s done w telling you things she’d done w other guys that “don’t count”. Sort of like anal doesn’t count as sex or if you’re wearing a condom it doesn’t count.
    I’d be furious

  23. Your wife is magical and you don’t know how good you have it. You’re gonna ruin it.

  26. Ok, ok. I don’t usually chime in on posts like this, but I’m going to shed some light. I actually mostly believe this story, even though your reaction is making me giggle.

    I grew up in a conservative culture where virginity was very much tied to pregnancy and this abstract idea that the physical realities defined sex. I did not consider oral sex actual sex and thought I was still a virgin until a male vaginally penetrated me. The problem? I’m fucking bi. I had oral several women and men before that. I honestly didn’t feel the same connection because I was taught that wasn’t sex.

    Is that stupid? Yes. When I got older I realized my body count was much higher than I had previously thought. I do not care about this now, but for a very, very long time I quoted a much lower number.

    Is it weird your wife hasn’t talked to you about this? Yes. I also think it’s kind of weird she sucked a dude off after such a different intimate act, but perhaps she is a saint who happens to have a very specific brand of patriotism.

    Just talk it out, man. Good luck to you and your wife.

  27. Nah bro it’s called “oral sex” it definitely counts, she’s cheating and that’s not right. I would’ve dumped her ass.

  29. Real American Hero?! Here’s to you Miss Medicinal cock sucker. {Miss Medicinal cock su-uucker}. Even at a party when you wipe a guys ass, you still make time to give him a much needed hummer. {YES, Oh YES YEEEEE-eeessss}

  30. I dunno, my wife also acts kind of like blowjobs aren’t that intimate. I’m fine with that.

Comments are closed.