There was darkness. No. It was less than darkness. There was nothing. Then there was darkness. Then there was panic. I opened my eyes and I saw that my penis was laying on my thigh – protruding from my open zipper.
Japanese pop music was playing from the HDTV’s speakers. Morning light shone through the Venetian blinds. The puppy scurried aimlessly around the room.
What just happened? I asked myself. Where is Stephanie? Was that just a dream? I put my dick back into my pants and zipped my jeans shut. I took a deep breath and walked to the mini bar. I removed a beer and I took a long sip. The pup was trotting away from me when I noticed…wait, what? What? What is that? Is that semen on her tail?
Instantly I set the bottle of beer down and ran to the human puppy. I grabbed her by her waists and held her still. She turned her torso and bit my left hand without breaking any flesh. I held her firmly as I investigated her vagina. It was dripping with a viscous fluid.
Fuck Christ, God and everybody walking! I thought. This bitch just raped me. I growled and thought, Brent is not going to believe what just happened. I’m a dead man if she’s pregnant.
I don’t panic. I say that I never panic. But I did panic. Fuck all. I panicked like a clown on acid. I didn’t know how to right this. I put my hands into my underwear and grabbed my cock. I put my fingers to my nose and confirmed my reality. I just had sex.
Baloop!
It was my cell phone. It could be Brent, I thought. I hit on my password. Instead it was a Kik message.
Are you okay? You’re not annoying me yet.
Steph, did you come to this hotel this morning?
Baloop! Are you on an XO?
No. I’m tripping out, though.
Baloop! About what? I just got off work.
So, you weren’t here this morning?
Baloop! Where?
Nothing. I’m just sleepy. I’m in lala land.
Baloop! Where’s my lust letter?
I need help.
Baloop! Fearless crude Jordi needs help. Haha. Finally you realize it.
No seriously. I need you to get me one of those morning after pills and bring it here.
Baloop! We won’t need one of those until you hand deliver my lust letter, sexy. Good day.
The baloops ended and I was alone in my misery.
My dilemma was clear. I couldn’t leave the room to get the morning after pill, and as a loner I had no ride or die buddies to come to my rescue. I was stuck until I remembered a Donna who I could ask for help. The problem was that I didn’t know her number.
I hoped that lightning would strike twice, so I ordered room service and waited anxiously for the IRD dude to deliver my food.
Finally there was a knock on my door. I quickly opened it. To my relief it was the same person who delivered yesterday. I quickly walked past him and into the hallway in hopes that Melanie would make a repeat call. The corridor was empty. I was dismayed.
The IRD guy laughed. He said, “She must have wet your whistle good, yesterday. You should see the look on your face.”
I asked him, “Do you know her?”
“No,” he responded.
I made my goofy “duh” face and said, “Why did you have no choice? You said that you had no choice before she came in.”
He said, “My boss – the head of everything lady — told me to umm, let that other lady follow me and then she said that I should disappear.”
“”The Head of everything lady?” What does that mean?” I asked.
“The only people with more pull than her fly in from Italy or somewhere a few times a year to see their money maker. She makes all the audibles in this place,” he admitted.
My brain was working frantically, “So, she knows Muh… the chick from yesterday?”
The dude answered, “I guess…”
I asked, “How can I contact her?”
The dude scoffed at me and said, “You can’t. She’s ice cold. If you’re not worth a million than you’re a waste of her time.”
I signed a 50% tip and asked him, “What makes you think that I’m not worth 10 million?”
He shook his head and said, “This is a castle. Gossip is a castle’s soul. You,” he put the receipt in his folder, “are a dog walker.”
I considered erasing the fifty percent tip but I considered eating a spit omelette tomorrow morning and growled quietly. Instead I took a deep breath and asked, “What is the queen of this castle’s name?”
“Ms. Burroughs,” he answered.
“First name please?” I plodded on with him.
He said after a moment of thought, “Hunter. Her name is Hunter Burroughs. Good luck.”
After he exited the suite I flipped my middle finger to the door and thought about my ranchero omelette tomorrow morning. Damn. I was hungry.
The pup had been hidden underneath the duvet which covered her cage. I listened to her whimpering with absolutely no compunction for that rapist bitch. I called the front desk in complete desperation mode.
“Hello,” said the lady at the desk.
I answered “Hello, this is Brent Flintlock. Would you be so kind as to connect me with Ms. Hunter Burroughs?”
She replied to my lie warily, “Umm. You told me that you would be gone for the day and that I should treat your guest with the five star treatment before you left this morning?”
“Yes I did. Please connect me with Ms. Burroughs,” I continued my role.
She maintained her professionalism “You don’t sound like Mr. Flintlock, sir. Ms. Burroughs is not in the mood for impostors.”
“Young lady, I don’t know what you are accusing a valued client of this establishment of doing, but I will overlook it if you connect me with Hunter,” I had no choice but to maintain.
Tentatively she said, “I will tell her that you have an urgent issue and she will contact you on the land line if she has time.” She then whispered, “Please don’t get me fired, dog walker. I just did everything by the manual.” She hung up her phone.
I thought, “When did I become the “dog walker guy?””
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/6qm1j5/deerplain_donna_13