I’ve had enough of reading 50 shades of shit, and the cutesy emotional garbage that good looking healthy people post about sexual relationships. It isn’t real is it? Not only is it cliche, but its usually an effort to hide the fact that they would rather move on to the next person. Why? well, probably because they can. This however, is not one of these stories. This is erotic NON fiction. This is the filthy/hot story of what happens when an average looking dork doomed to a mundane, sexless existence, throws off any inhibitions and barges into history with nothing but a guitar, and his trusty cock, Frank.
I know the first question your asking. Why name your cock frank? Well, It came from the hot dogs known as ball park franks. I wanted to give him a title that prompted thoughts of food, therefore already suggesting that he belongs in your mouth. Which he does.
Frank is an excellent specimen, hes a thick 8 incher, and has a gentle upward curve like a samurai sword. I’m a short white guy, and girls are always pleasantly suprised when they drop my shorts and see frank in all his glory. Seeing a girl bite her lip and say “oh my god” before plunging Frank into her mouth still makes my blood boil to this day.
Me and Frank’s first adventure was pretty tame compared to later ones, but it is still undeniably the hottest. I hope to top it one day, but this was true love so I doubt I will.
My girlfreind Kameron and I were in my parent’s basement. I kissed her deeply, turned her around and bent her over the bar me and my dad had finished building the day before. Little did he know, I had suggested the abnormal height of the bar, because I was about to use it to indulge in MY poison of choice. Her. We were both newly 18, and I was somehow still a virgin. not for long though. My mother could now do nothing to Kameron legally, and I didn’t even care if the bible thumping cunt walked in on us.
Beautiful, gorgeous, these are not words that I would use to describe Kameron. She was hotter than the 7nth layer of hell. A petite brunette, she had green eyes you could drown in, b cup tits, but her best feature of all, but of course, was her butt. It was that sort of round and firm ass that a girl only gets from running track, or doing alot of squats. She was a runner, the better genus in my opinion. I took a second to admire her.
She was bent over the bar, her hands clasped in front of her. Her figure nearly gave me a stroke. Frank had already been in her mouth, and he was looking up at me screaming, “Get on with it you pussy!” and get on with it I did. I popped her ass out of her tight denim skirt, and slid off her lacey white thong. She gently lifted one foot after the other so I could get it off. The gates of heaven were open.
I slowly rubbed Frank’s head against her clit. She was quivering with anticipation. I reached down to see if she was ready. My fingers came back almost dripping. It was go time.
I slowly pushed Frank into her.
She made a cooing noise as I pushed frank in and out of her perfect ass cheeks, filling her VERY tight pussy completely. I’ve found it hard to start off with my lady bent over, But Kameron was so wet It didn’t present problems. I went slow at first, until I felt her get even more wet.
She didn’t have to say “fuck me harder” because I started slamming her like a car wreck 30 seconds in. For my first time, I think I did pretty good. I actually made her squirt, but neither of us lasted more than 20 minutes. I came almost 5 seconds after she did. We were listening to Fallen by Evanescence. I now have this album on vinyl.
It was about this time That I decided 2 things. One, I fucking LOVE to FUCK. Two, I loved Kami. My religious mother forced us to break up by moving the family unfortunately, and despite us trying to reconnect later, I’ve never seen her again after that day. So it was off into the wild for me. I was neither religious, nor shy. Before this, I had correctly decided that I looked good in black, and I was the cutest little scene kid you ever did see. Going goth/emo/scene was a sure ticket out of dorkville and into pound town for alot of guys like me. I’m suprised I didn’t do it earlier.
The second thing I did to ensure further adventures was start a band. It was called “the amityville horror” and was a decent 5 piece deathcore outfit. I had played in the worship band at church for years and hated it. But this, this was amazing. The first time I heard “Doom ep” by job for a cowboy I almost came, and quickly began expanding on the genre.
This music I wrote brought me and frank our second great adventure. I’ve noticed that the sluttier, dirtier girls I’ve met all have boyish/unisex names. Tommy Lee once mentioned this in an interview, and I sometimes wonder if this phenomena has some sort of psychological signifigance. Her name was Corey.
This girl was a wild one for sure. I noticed her after we played a show at this place called lifespot in centenial colorado. She wasn’t your average scene girl, but rather, a genius. She was wearing tight skinny jeans, but was sagging them, revealing her round ass in some checker board tights. She was The only girl I’ve ever seen do this at the time, it was pure slutt genius. She was also wearing one our band shirts. This meant I wouldn’t have to work too hard to get into her. Our vocalist was the one she was originally after, but he was very drunk by this time, and I’m a fast talker. I had her gripping my arm in about 15 minutes.
We talked for awhile, and she informed us that her mother was willing to let us crash at their house. It was a nice place in highland’s ranch, and her recently divorced mom was only too happy to entertain her daughter’s good looking, straight haired freinds. I went upstairs with Cory when we got there. I peeled off her skinnies and leggings, revealing a nice round ass that almost rivaled kami’s. It was a little lumpy though, it didn’t hold its shape without the leggings. I started eating her out from behind, and she moaned with pleasure at the unexpected tongue action.
After some good foreplay, we were completely nude and smashing missionary on her bed. It was at this time, I decided to try something new I had seen james dean do in a porno. I folded cory, putting her feet almost behind her head. I then plunged frank into her and she again let me know she was having a good time with some loud moaning. I fucked her for another 30 minutes before I came explosively. I very much reccomend the fold if your lady is flexible, they love it. But this was just the beginning.
I was sitting on the couch, slightly winded from the romp with miss Cory. My bandmates were already snoring, when Cory’s mom walked in. she had on a white robe, and for a late thirty something, she was looking quite fine, I could see where her daughter got the shape. I realized, she was checking me out too. She walked around, picking up beer cans, and bending over a little more than needed. When she flashed me a smile, I replied with a wolfish grin. Frank stirred in my jeans, He had his helmet on again and was ready for some cave exploration.
I went up the stairs again, accept this time with CORY’S MOM, and yes, she had it goin on. Her room was nicer than her daughter’s was. I was 19, it still did feel slightly pedophilic, But in a good way.
I layed on her silk sheets, and she yanked off my jeans and gave me the best head that any man has recieved in history. I noticed the kiss poster in the corner of the room, and realized she had honed this skill for decades possibly. It was truly amazing. There was also a feeling of pride, knowing Frank was possibly occupying the same mouth as gene simmon’s legendary shclong had. Gene appeared like a force ghost from star wars and we slapped hands.
I Folded Cory’s mom too. This was a my new favorite position next to standing doggy on a table. I was able to get her feet behind her head, she was more flexible than her daughter was. Frank wasn’t as rigid as he had been. This wasn’t a problem, as the pussy was quite loose. I didn’t mind. Her mom was a nice lady and deserved some love. I took a long time to cum again, but when I did, it got everywhere. I left Cory’s mom in there sweating and puffing one of my camel blues. I got some much needed sleep.
Fast forward about 3 years. I’m in a different band, and a hotel room in vegas. But not with an escort. the show we had come to town for was cancelled, I had won a good deal of money with the other guitarist and the hard rock comped us some rooms. They were all in the other one. I had also encountered a waitress named Chelsea who turned out to also be a part time band whore I had been talking to on stick cam for some time.
We decided to fuck in the oppulent shower. Shower sex, like all standing sex, is one of my favorites, but you gotta have the right kind of shower for it, and match your partner in height. Also water and SOME soap is excellent lube. I had her bent over, And I was slamming into her soapy cheeks. I heard her say
“cum in my ass”
I was beyond delighted at this request. Frank had never been in a butt, and it turns out, Frank likes butt quite a bit. I had to go slightly slower as not to hurt the girl. IT WAS TIGHT. Im honestly suprised I was able to keep frank hard, I’m guessing the red bull I had drank earlier played a part. Soon I started cumming, and I should’ve noticed that her stomach had started growling.
I busted my nut, it was epic. But when I pulled out Frank, a torrent of filth came with him. Uknown to me, Chelsea had enjoyed a few tacos from work for lunch, and paired with all the beer she had drank with us that day, it formed a nasty avalanche of liquid shit. I jumped back, but I still got splashed with it.
At first I wanted to yell at her, but I could tell she waas embarassed and decided to be nice about the pond of shit she had made in front of me. I’m sure housekeeping hated me, but I’m also sure that being this was in vegas, They had seen worse. I have more adventures, so let me know if you enjoyed this, and I’ll post more and make this a series. I am still somehow STD free btw.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6q8pv7/the_dirty_adventures_of_bob_and_frank_mf