We all have ups and downs right? Mistakes we make in our life. this story is pretty dark. It’ll delve into the worst decisions I’ve ever made, it isn’t ‘sexual’ as such in description but obviously sex was involved.
Judge me as you will. I know who i was. Im not that person anymore
My other story. “Her brother” is linked with this story.. well
Kind of, but the beginning and parts of it will make loads more sense after reading this… If you read it to the end.
Lets go way back to my school days, primary school. In my class was a girl called Jennifer. She wasn’t popular, very geeky, weird and ugly unfortunately. Never well dressed and came from a scruffy family. She had a clear target on her back for bully’s to pick on her, though i wasn’t too popular myself so i never played part in that roll. Wasn’t my thing to do.
I knew she had an innocent crush on me at the time, simply because.. she’d tell me, obviously I wasn’t interested and to be honest i tried to avoid her as much as possible because you’d become a target yourself.
Fast forward a little to secondary school, it was a big rough public school, 2000+ pupils. The bullying had calmed down for her by now, they had ‘fresh meat’ to pick from. Though i still never bothered with her other than the occasional chat amongst a larger group. Don’t get me wrong she was a nice girl but in high school you only chase the ‘pretty girls’ personality doesn’t mean shit at that age, and reputation was everything.
Half way though secondary school Jennifer left to a new school because her parents moved to another part of the country, job opportunity perhaps, i don’t actually know. By that point i gained a little popularity and started hanging out with students alike.
This is when i met Josh.
We hit it off in an usual way. Basically he was a dick, he’d take the piss out of people for the laugher of the class. He did it with me once but shit like that rolls over my head easily. We left class and he did it again but this time called my mother and i flipped, pinned him up and warned him if he said one more word I’d.. you know blah blah blah. After that we formed a pretty tight friendship.
Josh was a typical rough lad, council estate born and bred. Constantly in trouble with police, probably didn’t do a full day of school in his life and a very addictive personality. But we were good friends, even though he was a bad influence.
After we left school, leaving our teens reaching early 20s, me and Josh would go out together, Josh had contact with many people that could supply whatever he was looking for.. Darren. This is when he introduced me to cocaine, and he was big on it.
I never liked it at first, he’d cut me a line and one was enough, I didn’t like the way it sat in your throat, the constant feeling of “shit is my nose bleeding” and to be straight, i didn’t seem effect me like it did him, I didn’t get the buzz from it he claimed it gave. So for quite a while maybe 2 years or so i never bothered with it.
Gradually it got worse, we drank more, snorted more and in simple terms just fell down the rabbit hole. I was getting hooked, not because of the effects just because.. i wanted it and could afford it. It becomes an addiction way before you realise it.
Jump ahead 5 years. Im 25, the nights out had stopped, i still speak to Josh but we parted our ways, he had a girlfriend and so did i (i wont name her). I was attempting to settle down, had a house life was okay.. for a while, but although we never went out with each other anymore i never quite kicked the habit of using and neither did he, i still drank alot at any opportunity still chasing a youth i was unwilling to let go of.
I was lucky enough to have a very well paid job and so did my girlfriend, in fact she doubled my figures. but £100’s quickly become £1000’s before you know it. But it didn’t matter, i had money and i could afford the lifestyle.
By now the addiction had a tight grip. I began disappearing at night time to score and ended up out all night with people I didn’t even know half of the time.
My girlfriend would lock all the doors in the house at night and hide the keys to stop me, but i’d literally climb through the fucking kitchen window to escape, it was the only one in the house that you couldn’t lock… plus with enough effort i could shove my legs through and my body would follow. She’d come looking for me at 2-3 in the morning to drag my sorry arse back.. but the worst part is.. she was pregnant too.
Before you judge me too harshly, she had her flaws, it become pretty clear within the first 12 months that she was violent, controlling and completely crazy at times, i only figured out too little to late and things moved extremely fast for us. Plus its not something men tend to talk about, lets face it.
Our relationship become a broken mess, sexless, no romance I didn’t even sleep in the same bed. It was almost too obvious to us both we wasn’t going to last long and inevitable a break up was coming. I felt like my life was heading for rock bottom, unwanted, a piece of shit but I didn’t think like that at the time.
This is how i met Jade. (Read the story) her brother obviously sold coke, I knew that but I didn’t want to deal with him, even then i knew he was dangerous. Jade would get it from Darren and id buy it from her, thats how our meet ups started, though regardless of her wrong doing she was a sweet girl, she only did what i asked her to do. Beth knew her and she hated her! She knew what was going and why i was meeting with her, but she didn’t play a big influence in my life.. yet
10 years had past since we left school. A group of former students decided to get in-touch with everyone and arrange a ‘reunion’. Josh was going but i had no interest,
I didn’t want to show up to a “look at me and how well I’m doing party” with people that honestly I couldn’t care less about.
I asked Josh how it went afterwards though, the first thing he said was
“Jenny’s moved back down here”
“Jenny?”
“Jenny, from school”
“Oh yeah yeah. Has she?”
“Mate.. you will not believe what she looks like now!”
“Why? She good looking?”
“Good looking… she’s fit as fuck!”
“Impossible”
“I swear down. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Wait till you see her”
I didn’t think much of it to be honest. Wasn’t like i was going to see her again. I had alot of shit going on so I didn’t care either.
Few months past. I was now 26, i had a daughter but prior to that happening, i lost a good friend to heart failure not long before. It played on my mind alot because he was only young, 4 years older than me in-fact, i come to the realisation that stuff like that can happen to anyone, you don’t have to be old to die unexpectedly.
One night i got home from a long days work, i was in my garden having a smoke and my chest tightened, my heart rate went through the roof and i couldn’t breath. I was certain i was about to have a heart attack.. obviously i didn’t. I phoned an ambulance for the first and only time in my life and ended up at A&E for a full check up, i was told i only suffered from a pretty nasty panic attack. Something id never experienced before but would continue having afterwards. I felt pretty stupid to be fair, a fucking panic attack and i thought i was dying, then again.. i’d never felt it before so I didn’t have a clue what was actually happening.
Regardless it was enough to scare the absolute shit out of me and i kicked the habit entirely. I even stopped smoking and drinking but that only last a couple of months.
I started picking up the pieces of a shattered shitty life, but at least i was clean. From an outsider’s point of view, we did okay. We had money, nice cars a well presented home and provided everything and more for our daughter. Though our relationship was still in ruins. Yet we continued and masked our faces with smiles.
Jade I maintained a friendship with, i felt pretty sorry for her simply because her personality didn’t match her up bringing nor the area she was forced to live.
Couple of months pass and one morning, Wednesday i think i had to go to the post office, I’m in the line waiting to be served and i feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turned around and stood behind me was this woman, genuinely looked like a model, flawless. Enough said.
I didn’t recognise this person so I simply smiled and turned back around thinking she’s obviously mistaken me for someone else… then it hit me like shovel to the head, i turned back around for a double take and immediately realised who i was looking at.
She had a huge smile on her face..
“I thought it was you!”
“Jennifer?? No way! I heard you moved back here”
We literally spoke for 30 minutes outside the post office. I found out, she was single, no kids, moved back in the area because of her job was close by and as luck would have it.. she lived right around the corner from me. Not good.
Saturday morning I’m usually up early, i don’t do lie in’s they make me feel terrible. I had a routine of taking my dog for a run (not the one i have now) we have a large public forest area behind our house so it’s convenient and quiet at that early time, plus the fresh morning air is exactly what i needed.
I set off and made it half way round the 2-3 mile pathway.
Un-fucking-believable.. guess who’s there? Jennifer’s there…. What the fuck! I haven’t seen this women for 13 years and now twice in one week! We crossed paths and continued the walk together. Turns out she goes for a jog every morning, explains why she had such a great body on her. Chances are we’ve even ran past each other beforehand but never noticed.
Discovering eachother’s routine we ended up exchanging numbers, basically drop me a message when your heading out and ill come meet you type of thing, it was nice to have a partner to walk/run with.
I always had the intention of telling my girlfriend what i was doing and who i was meeting but given my past… Lets say she had trust issues. I knew if I mentioned i was meeting up with another woman she would blow a fuse, accuse me of all sorts and probably wack me over the head with something heavy.
It started off so simple and innocent. Nothing more than a casual meet up, quick run and goodbye, we did this 3 or 4 times but what i did notice eventually was that she was becoming progressively more ‘touchy’ she’d always put her hands on me when we spoke. She walked close to me all the time, purposely rubbing up against me, just small little things. Then one Saturday night, i was downstairs watching tv by myself, late night probably around 11 and i get a message.
Jennifer: “ i love spending time with you”
Now let me remind you before you smite me. i was recovering from a nasty addiction, in a volatile relationship with no romance no sex and no love, barely any communication. I felt completely undesirable and unwanted and my self esteem was on the floor. All of the sudden i had a very attractive woman showing me keen interest. So what did i do?… what would you do?
I followed my dick obviously.
“I like spending time with you too”
“Meet up with me tomorrow?”
“Okay. I’ll text you in the morning”
Next morning rolled by, Sunday around 7:30. I messaged her to say I’d meet her by the gates leading onto the path, i didn’t take my dog because she’d cut her paws running on concrete and it clearly bothered her because she’d limp when she walked.
I arrived, and messaged
“Im here”
She responded
“Can you come to mine? Im not ready yet”
“Okay”
Stupid fucking fool.
I knew where she lived, so I walked to hers. Literally a 2 minute walk.
Knocked on the door and she answers in her dressing gown, i did look her up and down yes, the sight of her bare legs and feet took me back a little.
“Hey, come in for sec I won’t be long”
“Oh, you’re not even dressed?”
“Ive just got out of the shower, wheres *****? (my dog)”
“Sore paws, I’ve left her at home she can’t run”
“Awww. Okay just make yourself comfortable i’ll be 5”
Comfortable. Hmmm not really, i just stood in the hallway and waited. I wasn’t going to start walking around her house.
2 minutes past and she shouts me from upstairs.
“Will you just come up? I need your help”
I walked up the stairs..
“Help with what?”
She didn’t need fucking help at all, i walked into her room with her stood, her hands on the rope of her gown she unknotted it a let it drop to the floor and walked towards me. It happened so fast, there wasn’t any thought in my head other than how her lips felt pressed against mine, how soft her skin was in my palms and how good she smelt. She dropped down pulling my pants with her and sucked my cock and i just went with it.
I’ll spare the sexual details but we fucked, not gonna lie either it was probably one of the best I’ve had.
Im not sure how it is for women but post nut clarity kicks in pretty much immediately for a guy. I knew I completely fucked up this time. Snapped back into reality I got my shit together
“I need to go”
And got the hell out of there. Ive never felt so much shame and guilt in my life. I was literally a dead man walking home, i knew i had to tell her but i had no idea how. If i just came out with it straight up, she’d of cut my dick off and fed it back to me, her temper was one thing i never underestimated.
I got back and sheepishly avoided her. But I couldn’t stand to be in the house so i told her I’d been called in to work. If it was work related it went without question. She knew i worked stupid hours all the time. And for the next 3 days thats all i did. Got up as early as possible and worked into the dead of night, my mind wasn’t with it, i couldn’t focus on my work, only my heavy guilt i carried on my shoulders. Envisioning each scenario of what was going to happen when i spilled the beans. But sleep deprivation and lack of eating caught up with me fast.
I was late one morning and i left my phone on the side. I hadn’t noticed until i actually got into work but i carried a work phone in my car so i could still be in contact with whoever i needed to be with.
That night i went home around 10pm. The second I stepped foot i through that door I knew something was off. I could literally feel it in the fucking air. For starters she was still up and the lights were on.
She walked into the hallway with my phone in her hand. Her face said it all. Not disappointment just sheer anger.
“Who’s jenny?”
I didn’t even respond the first time
“Who the fuck is jenny?!”
“She’s..”
“You know what i don’t even care. Just answer me one thing.”
“Have you slept with her?”
Again i couldn’t muster up the words to respond
“Have”
“You”
“Fucking”
“Slept”
“With”
“Her?” …..?
“Yes.”
Thats when she launched the phone at me, it missed me by an inch but smashed into the wall denting the plaster behind me.
“Get the fuck out”
No apologies would make any difference to this. So that’s what i did. A pocket full of cash i stayed in a travel lodge that night and for a week after with only the clothes on my back.
It took her a week to finally agree to speak to me about what we was going to do and the outcome was simple. We split up and that was that.
Despite everything we’re actually on good terms. A little time blew over and she eventually calmed down and didn’t blame me for the entire situation, she never kept me from seeing my daughter either but it was evident we just wasn’t made to be with each other.
Jade, just read the story. I had a “thing” with her the year after which nearly got me killed. My luck.
Beth, absolute saint. Stuck by my side the entire time, I genuinely don’t deserve her but yet she still sticks around. Actually lives with me now too. Madness
Josh, never speak to him. Haven’t done for about 5 years. Don’t plan on doing either.
Jennifer, no communication what so ever, blocked all contact. Moved away don’t want to know, and I don’t give a fuck.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/tfvl61/ugly_duckling_turned_to_beautiful_swanleads_to
Damn
Good story, very well written. Shame it doesn’t belong on this sub.