Nineteen. The age at which my life changed forever. The time when “my baby bitch” and “my rapemeat” became the most endearing terms I could ever and would ever hear in my life. It’s the age that I gave my body and soul to a man I had never met but always felt was missing in my life, Daddy. That time, 8 years ago, I found out who I really am.
A typical day at the office, I was doing some paperwork and secretly chatting on random sites on my phone to find a bit of excitement. That’s when I found him. Our conversation was filled with dark and fiery desire the moment we began to speak. We spoke of our fantasies, and he told me of the things he wanted to do to me, things I had never seriously wanted to do until that point. He wanted to piss on me, he wanted to stretch my asshole raw, he wanted to use me as his fuckdoll in ways that I had never known I always wanted to experience. I was drawn in immediately, I couldn’t look away. We moved onto Skype so that we could speak more comfortably and from that point on, I changed into a woman that lived for him.
Endless conversations, video calls with him instructing me on how to use my body for him. I fingered my asshole for the first time for Daddy, I fucked my ass with dildos for the first time for Daddy, I stuffed my pussy with one dildo and my ass with another for Daddy, I bound my tits and clamped my nipples for Daddy, I kept finding ways to give myself pain for pleasure. I stayed up until all hours of the night torturing my body to make him happy. The more I tortured myself, the happier he became, and the happier he was, the happier I was. My happiness became based off of how much I could please Daddy, I wanted nothing more in the world than to be his perfect fuckmeat. Daddy has a full album of photos and videos of me training myself to be his perfect whore. I look at it often to remind myself that I am his.
As time went on, I found a boyfriend who became my fiancé and then my husband. A man that I love, but in the back of my mind I would always think of Daddy and the way he owned me so fully. I couldn’t stop going to Daddy despite being with someone else. My husband couldn’t satisfy the dark, sometimes scary desires that consumed me, that Daddy could give to me. I can’t help but think of how I should be with Daddy, how I should have married him so that I could openly spend my life being Daddy’s bitch. My greatest desire is to live as Daddy’s fuckmeat, serving him every second of every day. I want to be on my knees under Daddy’s desk as he is working and sucking and worshipping his cock. I want to drink Daddy’s piss and cum for three meals everyday. I want to always be filled with Daddy’s hot piss and cum. I want to always be pregnant with Daddy’s child so that I’m reminded of how much he owns me. I want Daddy to use me however he sees fit. Daddy wants to use me as a fucktoy for his dogs and other animals, a real bitch. I want my whole life and everything I am to be dictated by Daddy. That’s my dream, my goal, my purpose.
I never thought I would be able to find a man that so deeply understands me, a man that knows how I crave for and need to be abused. Daddy understands the darkest recesses of my mind, the fantasies and thoughts I have never voiced to another human being. I have never felt deeper love and connection to someone than I feel for Daddy. My body, mind, and soul know that I was born solely for the purpose of pleasing him and living for him. Daddy is my everything, and in turn I will do anything for his pleasure.
It doesn’t matter to me that Daddy has dark thoughts and twisted experiences and desires. The more I learn about Daddy, the more I want to delve into his world and become one with him. I want to become just as dark and twisted. I want Daddy to take my mind and soul and shape it into whatever he wants. My desire to be with him and serve him is an ever growing fire. My holes ache to be raped by him, my body tingles with craving for his abuse and torture. I want to be Daddy’s possession, something he can show off to others and brag about. I want Daddy to be proud of the twisted whore I’ve become. I exist for him, now and forever.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ta9oyy/essay_by_my_online_sub