M28 F25 (Long read)
We have been going through some issues lately, after dating 4 years. Arguing often and not clicking on many levels. Sex life left lots to be desired for both, sometimes great and sometimes distant. I’m also bi and she’s struggled to accept I really want dick I can’t have and she can’t offer. So maybe she felt the same way with her wants remaining unsatisfied. Bigger stronger hands to take control of her slender body and pull on her beautiful blonde hair..
I’m fit but I don’t actively work out and this is something she wants to change. My body to be toned and fit like herself. Large upper body muscles and the confidence that would come with it. Great posture and wide shoulders. We’ve always had many attractive friends like this, so it’s a wonder I landed her based on physique alone.
During some half hearted sex, I could tell there was a lot on her mind. She expressed her concern that we wouldn’t last and we had too many differences. I agree it’s be tough, but I love her and am willing to make things work, never second guessing our relationship. She often had.
I could read the guilt on her face. “I’ve been thinking about other people.” As I had been leaning in to learning her fantasies this didn’t throw me off. But I wanted to know who. Thankfully she can’t read my dirty mind, but maybe I’ll share this confession.. anyways I also think about many people and I think it’s completely normal and healthy, in moderation. “I don’t mind babe, I’d like to know who though.” She was very reluctant but my curiosity was persistent and she gave in.
There had been a recent morning I was so horny and she pretended to be asleep. She admitted she was having a dream about fucking a friend of ours. He’s big and tough dude, a fighter and military. I was instantly jealous since it hit so close to home. Also couldn’t help visualizing it myself. I don’t want to be cucked but I’d love to watch that unfold and join in myself. My semi chub had gotten rock hard again. I asked for details without sounding too interested. Were there others? She didn’t elaborate but did tell me there were two others she’s thought about. Her personal kickboxing trainer and a co worker at the hospital. Again I felt jealously accompanied by sexual curiosities myself. It probably didn’t help matters that my cock was throbbing in a full grip at this point in the conversation.
I could tell she was relieved to get this off her chest and assured me nothing had happened. We are not open but she gave me pass for men and I said she could do the same. Strangers only. She said she’s not interested and only wants me. I’ve encouraged her to play with me and a guy or share her with a couple with no avail. She just isn’t ready/ interested yet. Her confession scared the shit out of me and turn me on at the same time. Part of me wants her all to myself and the other wants her to explore and be free while still being mine.
It is clear she wants a dom man to love and provide for her. I can be that man if I change and I will try. It definitely hit deep when she said our friend made her feel “safe”. I had recently admitted my fetish for wearing her panties which seemed foolish now I knew where her head was.
At the end of the day, all I want is her to live in happiness and she wants the same. I think opening up and working on our issues has helped us grow closer together. We on the right track and I think things will work out. I still can’t help thinking about her with others and look at her phone if the trainer texts. I trust her, it’s just hot to be reminded I have stiff competition.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/stuu6j/i_could_tell_she_was_holding_back_gf_admitted_she