I hooked up with my ex GF after she basically broke up with my BF for me [FF]

I’ve been sitting on this story for a hot minute.

Someone asked me what the best sex was of my life the other day and I truly don’t know. I’ve had so many incredible experiences in so many different ways that it’s impossible for me to quantify.

However, the best buildup to sex? I think it’s this story…

I have written how much I hate my ex-boyfriend who started out as my boss. Really. I HATE him. I always give this disclaimer because it’s not just me being cute. He’s an ass.

This is the story of how he got fucking OWNED by my ex-girlfriend.

*She is my self-proclaimed “crazy ex.” I write about her in a way that you can sometimes see my frustration because she was a hard person to date, but I care deeply about her.*

So after EXBF and I broke up we regularly hooked up and I sometimes spent the night. One morning before work I was in the shower and I walk out to the sight of him holding my phone with a huge grin.

*Red flag btw. Checking phones has always been weird to me.*

“Who is in your phone as ‘Sex Goddess of the Century’ and why is she coming into town?”

“Oh! Um… that would be my ex-girlfriend. We haven’t talked in like a year so that’s kind of weird.”

“She wants to hang tonight. Do you want to invite her to this [SUPER lame networking event I was supposed to be his date to]”?

*I hate lawyer networking events. Everyone plays a game where we try to out-lawyer each other and we all lose.*

“She’s… a lot. I don’t think that would be her thing.”

“She’s only in town for one night.”

“I’ll just meet up with her after.”

“You’re going to meet up with your ex after a date with me?”

*On paper that doesn’t sound GREAT.*

“I’ll meet up with her before then.”

“Why don’t you want me to meet her?”

*Oh, so many reasons. Even if he wasn’t kind of an asshole and she wasn’t a loose cannon, in the past things have gotten messy when my heterosexual boyfriends have met girls I’ve been into. In theory they always think it’s super hot that I’m bisexual, but when they realize they’re not the center of my sexuality and my exes are real people I had feelings for, insecurities come out. This man was already insecure.*

“I just really do not think she wants to spend an evening with a bunch of lawyers.”

“Invite her and see.”

*Sigh.*

She accepts. When she texts back what she should wear I tell her a suit or something conservative. I’m not sure she owns a suit but whatever.

I feel kind of sick all day. I can hardly focus at my job and keep checking my phone, praying she’ll cancel. She does not.

So EXBF and I are chilling at this networking event and I am visibly nervous. I keep looking at the door and checking my phone.

He asks me what’s wrong and I tell him I’m just not feeling well. I’m about to suggest we leave when EXGF walks in.

*Oh dear god.*

In a sea of old white men in black suits, she’s a brown girl in a green corset dress and heels. Believe me when I say the room went quiet.

“That’s your ex?” He asks.

“That is indeed my ex…”

“She’s beautiful.”

*I am used to folks having this reaction to her. It was almost annoying how hot she was. You know those certain people who kind of transcend beauty? That was her. She turned heads. She was something more than gorgeous.*

She ran up and hugged me. I am so self-conscious of the fact that the whole room is staring.

“Hi! You look like a lawyer.”

“I am… almost anyway. You do not look like a lawyer. I said a suit or something conservative.”

“I thought you were kidding! Do you think I own a suit? And this is a cocktail dress.” She turns to my EXBF. “I’m [real name]. I think I know who you are.”

“I thought y’all haven’t talked in a year.” He responds.

“Oh I compulsively stalk her Facebook so I can masturbate to her photos.”

I spit out my drink. “Don’t,” I warn.

EXBF is looking a little less amused.

“I’m kidding! I touch myself to the memories of when we used to fuck.”

I shush her and suggest we go to the bar. I tell myself if I can get a drink in her hand she’ll chill, but there is a small part of me that just wants to get a bit wasted so I don’t have to deal with this train wreck sober.

It is an open bar and EXGF proceeds to order us three vodkas.

“How did you two meet?” She asks us.

“At work,” I answer quickly. She does not need to know he was my boss.

“And are y’all… together?”

I answer no while he says yes.

“We’re basically back together,” EXBF says.

“Let’s talk about this later,” I say quickly.

“You stayed at my place last night.”

“As a friend.”

“Do you fuck all your friends.”

“She does indeed,” EXGF smiles. I shoot her a look. “Again, I’m kidding! But I am REALLY glad I’m here for this conversation.”

I very quickly change the subject, but this is very difficult to navigate. I cannot think of two people who have less in common and I am grasping for some topic that doesn’t include my relationship status or past sex life.

“What do you do for work?” my EXBF asks.

“Work is a loose term for me,” EXGF responds. “Right now I’m kind of working illegally in Canada at a bar my friend owns and I’m a photographer but I only make money in the erotic sense on that front.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Men on the Internet pay for photos of my boobs. What do YOU do?”

“Risk assessment for corporations who outsource labor.”

“My thing makes more sense.”

Meanwhile, I am downing my fourth drink of the evening. My palms are sweating and my heart is racing. EXGF notices.

“Why are you so nervous?” She asks.

“Oh, no reason. This is just a little weird.”

“Why? I’ve met your boyfriends before. Hell, I fucked one of them with you.”

I choke on my drink. EXBF is wide-eyed. I failed to mention this bit when I told him she was coming.

“Are you ok?” She asks.

“Oh yeah, she’s just nervous because she didn’t tell me that and now feels guilty.” BF kindly responds on my behalf.

“If it was before y’all were together I don’t see how it’s your business, but whatever.”

*So this is going great.*

The conversation moves to my job and where I want to end up after graduation.

“I aways knew you’d be a really great lawyer,” EXGF smiles. “You’re so smart.”

“She’s getting there,” EXBF pats me on the back.

EXGF glares at him but he doesn’t seem to notice. I order another drink.

“You look nice btw,” she tells me. “The whole pencil skirt look works for you.”

“Yeah, it’s much better than her attire outside of work. I think she just has three Pink Floyd shirts she circulates,” EXBF groans.

EXGF raises an eyebrow and looks at me. I shrug.

“You’re taking the bar exam soon, yeah?” She asks me.

“Yeah, I’m nervous.”

“Didn’t you get like a perfect score on your LSAT?”

EXBF interrupts. “Yeah that actually doesn’t mean much. The bar exam is VERY hard. I don’t know if you know this but only half of folks who take it pass.”

She smiles. “I’m sure it’s VERY hard for *some* people. I’m not worried about V.”

“So,” he continues. “Do you want to end up in Canada?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have any longterm plans. I never try to make plans past six months.”

“I remember when I was your age and thought that was sustainable. Enjoy the delusion while it lasts.”

He turns his head to wave at someone nearby. This time she catches my eyes and mimics his condescending face.

I kind of giggle through my drunkenness. EXBF is sulking.

A guy comes up and tries to hit on EXGF and she quickly dismisses him and tells him she is a “super lesbian.”

“What an ass,” she says as random dude walks away. “I am CLEARY here in a professional capacity.”

I start laughing but EXBF rolls his eyes. “I mean, you can kind of see why he thought you were straight.”

She smiles. “Oh really? Why? Enlighten me.”

*Things are about to go off the rails.*

“I mean, you’re dressed very… Just, I wouldn’t think you were gay.”

Her jaw drops. “Bro, are you a Republican or something? That’s such a weird form of homophobia.”

He gets offended. “My girlfriend is bisexual.”

“Ex-girlfriend.” She corrects.

*NGL, at this point I’m drunk and have given up.*

“Are you always like this?”

She doesn’t answer right away. “I’m so sorry, I’m just trying to decide if you’re insecure or just stupid. What did you just ask me?”

EXBF turns to me. “Do you want to jump in here?”

I take a drink. “I’m kind of curious where this is going to be honest.”

My EXGF raises her voice. “I don’t know what the fuck V is doing with you, but enjoy it while you can because this is not going to last.”

“You don’t know shit.”

“I know you’re an ass and V is awesome. Are you always this rude or are you just REALLY bothered by the fact that I used to fuck her? I hope it’s the latter.” She turned to me. “I’m leaving.”

I smile. “I think I’m coming with you.”

EXBF is furious. “Are you serious? She’s crazy.”

“Hey!” I snap. “Only I can call her crazy.”

“Yeah only Viola can call me crazy!”

The two of us are giggling now. I think some folks are turning to watch us but I don’t even care.

“We’re done, Viola. Never call me again.”

“Oh no!” I laugh. “Did you hear that EXGF? He says we’re done!”

*Sadly, we’d still fuck a few more times but I attribute this moment to the true beginning of the end.*

“I bet a million dollars you jerk off to the thought of me eating her out later and then cry,” she says.

“That’s harsh.” I say.

“Is it?”

“Not really actually keep going.” I’m laughing.

“Her Pink Floyd shirts are sexy and If you had ever watched her climax to ‘Dark Side’ you’d know that.”

I throw my drink back and- in possibly the most baller move of my life- I kiss her, take her hand, and leave.

I start calling an Uber and she shrugs and says she should probably head back to the apartment she’s staying at. I shoot her a look and we both start laughing.

Of course she’s coming home with me.

That poor Uber driver. We made out PASSIONATELY in the back seat. Like, we went insane. I’d push her off me for like two seconds, but damn it she was so hot. And I was so drunk. And she had just said everything I had wanted to say to this asshole for months.

I could not keep my hands off of her. Fuck.

*Yall I really cannot describe enough how beautiful this girl is. Like, her attitude and confidence was hot, but objectively she’s just one of the most beautiful creatures.*

When we got back to my place I pulled her into my bedroom, got on my knees, and started taking off her heels. I was about to lick TF out of this girl.

“Slow down, I want to know how this happened.” She said as she grabbed my hair and pulled me back. “Is he dying or something? Are you dying? Did he blackmail you into pretending to be in a relationship?”

I laughed. “I don’t know, babe. I just looked up one day and I was in really deep. It started out as fun. He was my boss.”

“There it is,” she laughed. “That’s why you fucked our professor. Your love of authority sometimes bleeds into life outside the bedroom.”

“So why do I fuck you? You seem to know my psyche.”

She pulled me close to her. “Because I’m GREAT in bed.”

*That she was.*

“He once asked if he was the best sex I’ve ever had and I thought of you.”

“Tell me again how I’m better than dick.”

“I kissed her. You’re much, much better than that dick in every way.”

“Alright, now you can eat me out.” She pushed my head down.

Fuck me. I think about going down on her to this day. The way she responds to my tongue is magical.

I reached up her skirt and pulled her underwear off and just fingered her for a bit before I took her dress off and laid her back on my bed. She wasn’t wearing a bra because of course she wasn’t.

Sometimes when I go down on people I just want them to come quickly so I know I’m doing a good job.

*Also, my jaw gets tired.*

Not with her. Damn it, I just wanted to do this all day. I wanted to go so slow to make it last as long as possible. Fuck me, watching her chest heave as I licked her was soul changing. She threw her head back and smiled as she wiggled beneath me.

“Speed up,” she finally told me as she played with my hair. I obliged.

Watching her seriously had me so turned on I was on the edge of coming.

*On very, very rare occasions I have come or come close to climax without any external stimulations and it’s glorious.*

“You know what I love?” She whispered through gasps. “I love that you’re not going down on that asshole right now.”

The thought of her telling him off popped into my head and I smiled as I pulled her closer to me and went to town. She pulled my hair as she orgasmed and then flipped me over.

She put two fingers inside of me and I immediately came around them. Like, I couldn’t breathe it was so hot.

“Holy shit, you really have missed me,” she laughed.

We took a bath together after that and really caught up. She had matured a lot since college- and even in the year since I’d last seen her- but our lives really couldn’t have been more different.

That didn’t stop me from getting her off again with my shower head and letting her go down on me on my bathroom floor.

She left the next day as promised, but her visit was pretty pivotal. It still took me another month to fully break off the relationship with my ex boss, but she put things into perspective.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/sk0m7e/i_hooked_up_with_my_ex_gf_after_she_basically