A kinky, gentle femdom session takes a surprising switch [MF]

This very hot sequence of events happened this past weekend, and I’m writing it down here primarily so I have a place to go back and remember the details. If the rest of you enjoy it, all the better! The story begins a few paragraphs down, if you want to skip the exposition.

My fiance [25F] and I [30M] have been together five years (just got engaged this year), and occasionally get in the mood to do some casual bdsm. I’ve got the higher libido, but she’s definitely the wilder one. Before I met her I had tried a bit of rough sex here and there, but had never done anything considered “kinky.” She was into bdsm and had a history as a sub. She asked me pretty soon after we started dating if I’d try it out. I cautiously said yes, and tried my hand at being a daddy dom. Turned out, I loved it! We took it slow, and our play would usually be on the lighter side (her pain tolerance is not that high), but I really enjoyed it. I did some “thorough” online research and worked to learn more. As most couples, we go through more vanilla phases… but when one of us was in the mood for something a little spicier all we’d have to do was pull out the cuffs!

As often happens, one night my girl casually asked me if I’d like to wear those cuffs. At first I said no… but I took a long look at them (very cute black leather cuffs with lil red hearts), felt my cock stir a bit, said “fuck it”, and offered up my wrists. And we learned (to our surprise) that we’re both switches!

We had to *really* be in the mood for me to sub – it would usually take more than a casual suggestion on either of our parts. When we did try it out I had great fun with it (as did she), but we also kept running into things that were a turn-off, a “red light”, or just felt a little weird to one or both of us. For instance, I love following her orders, but I *hate* the term “mistress”. I learned I LOVE to be spanked, but I always had to help her overcome her hesitation when I screamed “HARDER!” She’s *very* good at taking control in the bedroom, teasing me, edging me, making me do what she wants… but when it comes to degrading dirty talk, it feels unnatural to her, and sounds weird to me when it comes out of her mouth.

So femdom was something we would only partake in on occasion, like a bold, intense red wine. I kept thinking of myself as a switch, but one who took the dominant role much more often.

Until I found the wonderful folks over at r/GentleFemdom. I scrolled the subreddit and immediately (after a nice jack session) sent it to my partner… and suddenly it all “clicked” for us! The problem was obvious! We’d only ever had the mainstream porn example of femdom to go by, with a leather-clad dominatrix dual-wielding a black spank paddle and electrified nipple clamps, telling her “worthless slave” to get on his knees and worship her. And that… is just never going to be us! No hate to the couples who love to play that way (it does look kinda hot sometimes), but it’s not the kind of femdom either of us want to practice. Suddenly I realized that I don’t have to be a “slave” or “bitch” or “worm”… I can be a “good boy,” and that just sends a warm fuzzy feeling over my body (and a stirring in my pants). I don’t have to call her “mistress” or “goddess,” just “my amazing woman” – that’s what she always was anyway. She doesn’t have to punish me with an electric prod when I cum without her permission. She can just give me a kiss, tell me to do better next time, and praise me when I improve! Gentle femdom highlighted all the kinks that we love (bondage, teasing, edging, spanking, ass play) while de-emphasizing all the kinks that didn’t come so naturally to us (degradation, name-calling, forced chastity, orgasm denial). Of course, there are plenty of awesome couples in that community who *do* enjoy those kinks… but we knew they were not for us. At the most basic level, we learned there was no “right” way to do femdom. We could pick and choose what felt good for us, eliminate what didn’t, and explore what we weren’t sure about. Sounds basic, right? But porn (and maybe society) had ingrained some ideas into our minds that we’d just never been able to get out from under… until now.

And the result has been two weeks of awesome, hot, kind, loving, open, and toe-curling sex!

I won’t go into the details of our previous gentle femdom sessions (though if folks are curious, I’m always happy to talk about them in a different post). This story is about what happened last Sunday, which was completely unexpected, but turned into not just one of the hottest lovemaking sessions of our entire five-year relationship, but also broke down some walls and internal biases I never even knew I had, and brought us even closer than we were before… if you can believe it!

**Story time!**

The night before, my lady and I had a wonderful play session. I won’t go into the details here, but I serviced her by eating her pussy for as long as she wanted (I was such a good boy that I made her cum!) Then she had me lay on my back and sat on my face, rubbing her pussy all over my face and beard and covering me with her juices. I got so into it that I didn’t even realize when she rewarded me by 69ing and sucking my cock. She warned me not to cum, so after a while I tapped her thigh to let her know I was close. She got up, grabbed me, and bent me over so she could grope, spank, and bite my ass. When I’m feeling subby I LOVE getting spanked more than anything in the world, so she told me what a good job I’d done eating her out and making her cum, and rewarded me with a thorough and bruising spank session. I twitched and quivered every time her palm came down on my ass, then trembled with anticipation for the next one. “HARDER!” I begged. She asked me for reassurance. Color? “GREEN!” The next one came down even harder, so loud I was worried the neighbors might hear. My ass was red and swollen when she was done. Finally, once she’d decided her boy had received enough of a reward, it was her turn to get what she wanted. She got on her back and commanded: “Fuck me.” Her sex toy obliged, slipping deep inside her and letting her set the pace. My cock hit the sensitive spot in the back of her pussy and she thrust her pelvis up and down, while her hand played with her clit. I was a good fucktoy and let her take her pleasure, watching with joy as she worked herself up into a frenzy and came a second time. “Now you can come.” It didn’t take much… I finally let go and started thrusting, letting my head slide over the warmth and wetness of her pussy. Within a minute I was peaking and feeling my body overwhelmed with pleasure, clenching myself, grabbing her in a tight hug, kissing her, and releasing my cum inside her warm, tight, wonderful, incomparable pussy.

She got up, kissed my forehead and said “good boy,” went to the bathroom to wash up, and snuggled me all night (I was little spoon!)

We stayed up talking for a while. I was tired, but feeling way too tingly to sleep. I was going to a work conference on the other side of the country next day (my flight was at night). I was going to miss her so much! We talked over everything that happened, confirming that it was all okay for us (it was!) I told her how much I was going to miss her, her forehead kisses, her affectionate whispers, being held by her. And, I admitted, I was gonna be horny as hell the entire time! So much so I’d have a hard time concentrating.

A loaded pause. Then, “Listen to me.”

And suddenly, I could hear in her voice, the domme had resurfaced.

“You. Are. NOT. To masturbate. From now until the moment you walk back in this house. Not without my *explicit* permission. Are we *absolutely* clear?”

I thought I was spent, but suddenly my cock was hard again. I briefly considered leading her hand to touch it, but I know my girl, and I know one long, passionate, multi-orgasmic fuck session a night is enough for her. Such a gesture wouldn’t be welcome.

“Are you being serious?” I asked. I’d slipped out of the sub role, and was having a little difficulty getting back into it.

“DEAD. Serious.” she said. “If you DARE disobey me, there will be some *severe* punishment.”

“O…okay,” I said, my cock rock-hard. This was such a turn on for me, but I wasn’t feeling subby enough to fully embrace the role again. “I promise. I’ll ask for permission each time. Is it okay if I send you pics?”

“Ask first.”

“Okay, my love.” And then: “Just… please don’t deny me the whole time.” I was legitimately anxious about how the hell I was going to be able to focus on work if I couldn’t have a good hard cum in my room at the end of each night.

“Be good, and we’ll see.”

The next day, she was scheduled to work, and I had to pack and get ready for my flight. She’d had multiple long nights at work recently (last night was her first day off all week), and I knew she needed sleep. Earlier, before our session, I had promised to wake her up with breakfast in bed. I was up around 9 in the morning as I usually am (I work from home most days). I fed our cat, let him outside, and started cleaning the house. But… I couldn’t focus. I was horny. SO horny.

I texted my woman: “Fuck babe, I’m feeling EXTREMELY horny already. Thinking about last night, imagining wearing a collar (something we’d talked about earlier), and just being close to you in bed basking in my love and desire for you. But, I’m not allowed to masturbate without your permission, and I don’t want to wake you up to ask for it. I’d hate to interrupt your beauty sleep. Going to be a really hard morning for me, but I promise I’ll be good :)”

I’m used to morning wood that doesn’t go away, and I’ve had plenty a quick crank in my home office in the morning to clear my head before work. This was something more. Yes, my cock was diamond-hard and throbbing, and a quick porn search could probably make it go away. But… I didn’t know if I wanted it to go away. My entire body felt tingly and electrified. I lay down on the tiny guest bed in my home office and just started touching myself – not my cock, but my body. I ran my nails down my chest. I squeezed a nipple. I pulled my own hair. I lightly spanked myself. Every single touch sent fire and electricity surging over my body. This was more than just sexual. This feeling went to the SOUL.

I spent maybe an hour like that, one of the most unique sessions of self-love I’d ever practiced. I never touched my cock. I was scared that if I came, this incredible feeling would go away. I didn’t want to cum. I just wanted to lay there, touching every part of my body except my cock, fantasizing about all the kinky, incredible, beautiful, and liberating things my partner and I might try one day, now that I’d finally…

What?

Finally what?

I’ve been submissive plenty of times before. Last night was hot as hell, and I came, but it was far from the hardest orgasm of my life. Or hers. She’d only cum twice… her record was seven. Last night was kinky, fun, and exciting, but would not even make the top 25 of our greatest sexcapades. But this feeling… I’d never felt it before. What brought it on? How the hell had I spent the last hour bringing myself to the verge of a hands-free cumming in my boxers just by touching my neck and spanking myself?

I searched my soul, but couldn’t find the answer. And it was time to start making breakfast.

Breakfast was eggs and buttered toast. I made mine first because my lady needed her sleep. I ate because I needed to, not because I was hungry. Then I made hers. I’ve never been the best chef, and I suck at making fried eggs (never mastered the flip motion), but for her, I very carefully flipped the eggs with a spatula and managed not to break either of the yolks! Quite an accomplishment for me. I put the eggs and toast on a plate, and made a little heart with shredded cheese. Those of you laughing right now, don’t you dare tell me that wouldn’t make you melt!

I brought the plate into the room and gently nudged my girl awake. She was a little reluctant at first, but then I think she smelled the fresh breakfast and sat up. She congratulated me on a job well done (like I said, I suck at making breakfast), and ate peacefully and contently while I lay next to her and watched. I was horny… SO horny… but felt an even stronger feeling in my soul. Warm, fuzzy joy at the sight of my partner happy and at peace, enjoying homemade breakfast in bed. This feeling satisfied me more than a dozen orgasms (or perhaps, a half-dozen prostate orgasms ;) )

Finished, she put the plate aside. “Good boy.” Silent, I got to my feet and took it away.

Even though she hadn’t ordered it, just the act of taking her plate from her – serving her – made my arousal painful. I left the bedroom and literally stopped to catch my breath halfway to the kitchen, my heart was fluttering so hard. And I’m sure the bulge in my boxers had been apparent to her from the moment I’d walked in. I took the plate to the sink and felt such pleasure and fulfillment in the mere act of washing it for her. Yes, it was arousal bulging out of my pants, but it was *deeper* than that. It was an act of service for the love of my life. I was her good boy, and I took care of her. I would always be there.

I walked back into the room and wordlessly got in bed. I positioned myself in a way to make my bulge as obvious as possible, and she pretended not to notice, flipping through her phone. I waited expectantly, like a dog waiting for a treat (we’re not into puppy play but this was the best analogy I could come up with – sorry!)

“You did a good job with breakfast today,” she finally said, not looking at me.

“I did???” I was legitimately happy to hear that.

“VERY good. You managed not to break any yolks.” I beamed, glad she’d noticed. “Oh, and I read your texts.”

“Oh? Were they too much?” I knew she had to go to work in a couple hours, and she generally prefers to avoid sex or sexual situations in the morning when she has to work.

She looked at me, a teeny little smile on their face. “Not at all. They were a VERY nice surprise to wake up to. Because breakfast was so good and you’ve been such a good boy this morning, I will allow you *one* orgasm”

I felt a tingle go down my spine as I drank in her words. “Really? I appreciate that so much!”

I hesitated, knowing what I wanted to do but unsure of how to go about it. I *know* she doesn’t like morning sex if she has work that day. I *know* I’m not supposed to bring it up. In the past I had tried to initiate something in situations like these, and she hadn’t been receptive. She’d turned me down. A few times. One thing to know about me, guys, is that I really struggle with getting turned down. No matter how many times she is receptive to my advances… no matter how many times she INITIATES… it still sucks to get turned down. It shouldn’t, but it really does.

“Do you… want to be involved?” I finally asked after a long pause.

She smiled. “No, I don’t think so. I want you to take care of yourself. Is that okay?”

“Of course that’s okay.” We’ve had talks like this so many times. She knows how much it hurts me when she turns me down, and she feels bad. She shouldn’t, but she does. “Do you want me to do it somewhere else?”

“No,” she said, her smile never leaving her face. “I’d be down to watch.”

That was enough. I felt a warmth in my heart and smiled. “I’m gonna take it slow, okay? I’ve been so horny all morning, and last night was so great, I really want to enjoy this.”

“Take all the time you need baby! I just need to start getting ready for work in 45 mins.”

“Oh, I won’t take THAT long… probably.” I smirked, and started touching myself over my boxers. “You know, I really like over-the-clothes play.”

“Yes, I know you do!”

Both our minds went back to the early part of the pandemic, when I was living in an apartment with a roommate (we bought a house earlier this year). She hated having sex while he was home, so instead we’d watch a show or movie in my room and she’d casually tease me, playing with my cock over my underwear for hours, all while focusing on the show. Sometimes she’d get horny enough and decide to have sex despite her inhibitions. Other times, she would just tease me until I couldn’t take it anymore and I’d quietly masturbate until I came, while she never tore her attention from the show.

“I really miss when you would tease me like this while watching TV,” I said after a long pause, all the while stroking my cock through my boxers. They were getting a little moist.

“Yeah? I still tease you sometimes though!”

“I know, but usually it’s as a lead-up to sex. I miss the nights you’d just tease me as like… an afterthought. You know? We’d be watching a show and you’d never really break your attention from it. I would keep watching the show myself while enjoying being played with, but eventually I wouldn’t be able to focus anymore. But you never really broke concentration on the show. There was something really… easy and *intimate* about that, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess I miss that too.” Her smile never left her eyes. Her eyes went from my face to my cock. I had piqued her interest, perhaps. I turned away from her and kept stroking over my clothes, focusing on the soft, easy pleasure. It was sexual, but not so intense that it brought me anywhere near the edge. I kept it up for ten, maybe fifteen minutes?

And then a hand was scratching my head, and my scalp was on fire again.

I moaned, leaning my head into the sensation. Her hand grabbed and released tufts of my hair, her nails raked against my scalp. Then at some point, she took a handful of hair and *yanked*. I yelped in pleasure. She kept scratching. I worked my cock and she worked my heart.

After a bit of this, I knew what I needed. “harder…” I whispered.

“What was that?”

“Harder. Pull my hair harder!”

She obliged, taking a big tuft in her head and pulling roughly. I melted into her touch, moaning in pleasure. I forgot myself, no longer caring what faces or sounds I made. My hand drifted under the lining of my underwear and brushed against the head of my cock. She yanked again. I felt a touch of wetness on my tip. My whole body started writhing, electrified again like it had been earlier that morning on my guest bed. At some point I realized she was working my hair with two hands, and I let myself go in the ecstasy of it.

I’ve felt greater physical pleasure before. Lying back and losing myself in an amazing blowjob. Fucking my lady with a vibrator in my ass. Sex while rolling on MDMA. Cumming in my slut’s pussy while I choke her, with her hands tied behind her back. By comparison, this was just a hot masturbation session with some emotional support from my girl. This shouldn’t have been anything to write home about. But my mind was a fog, and I was literally lost for words, writhing under my partner’s touch, yelping at every gentle tug of my hair. My cock wanted to burst out of my pants. I wasn’t anywhere close to cumming yet, but this was so much more intense than a regular orgasm. If you’d asked me my name, I wouldn’t have been able to respond.

“Today is your lucky day,” some distant, beautiful voice whispered. “You expected permission to pleasure yourself, but you’re getting SO much more.”

And then I felt a foreign hand around my cock. Stroking, teasing. I withdrew my hand, ceding her the territory. She toyed with my cock with one hand, and the other kept playing with my hair. After a while her hand slipped under my underwear and her fingers gripped my hard cock. I think I heard her say “Off,” but I can’t remember. I was putty at this point, and I barely remember her taking off my boxers. Before I knew what was happening I was naked, and her fully clothed next to me, teasing up and down the length of my cock. Her spare hand went from my hair to my nipples, pinching and teasing them. I like most forms of pain, but my girl knows that I don’t like rough nipple play. Because she knows me so well, she knew to touch them lightly and tease them gently, not squeeze or pinch them. Eventually her mouth was on them, her tongue making soft wet circles on them while I squealed and moaned. But she never bit them, because she knows me, and I trust her, and she would never violate that trust.

If I seem like an expert sub at this point, I assure you I’m not. In the past I’ve had serious trouble with lying back and allowing myself to receive pleasure. I can let myself get lost in a great blowjob, but only after I know I’ve made my partner cum. So much of my sexuality has been wrapped up in pleasing my partner, for as long as I’ve been sexually active, that a situation like this would usually be difficult for me to accept. After all, my girl was still fully clothed! I hadn’t so much as kissed her yet! *She’s not getting anything out of this*, a dark, hurtful voice in my head whispered at me. *She’s just doing this to please you, and what have you done to deserve it?*

But that dark, sad piece of my sexuality was drowned out by the waves of pleasure I felt. As a dom I am comfortable with dirty talk (though no expert), but as a sub I’ve always struggled to be vocal. Not today! I was whining, moaning, yelping and shuddering, letting every feeling and sensation ripple through my body and express itself however it wanted. I’d forgotten all sense of shame and all societal constructs of what a man should be in bed, and become a whimpering mess of putty in my partner’s hands. I think she may have used her mouth at some point, but I honestly can’t remember. All I know is that I was a very, *VERY* good boy.

“You are SO lucky today,” my lady whispered into my ear. I grinned, not sure what I was grinning about. “Your domme is giving you so much more than you expected.”

“I know,” I said. “I’m so lucky.”

“You don’t even know how lucky you are.” It took me a moment to realize she had stopped touching me. My cock throbbed and pulsed, and my skin starved for her touch. I opened my eyes and gave her a puzzled look, nudging my body close to her.

She smiled. She was fully clothed. “You are going to fuck me today.”

My eyes went wide as dinner-plates “I am?” Some distant part of my brain knew her phone would go off at some point, her get-ready-for-work alarm pulling us away from this intense moment.

“You are. You’ve managed to get me wet, and I want you to fuck me like the good sex toy you are.”

“Absolutely, my love!” I pulled myself up and started to touch her, running my hands over her breasts and belly. “Your wish is my command.” It was easy for me to make the change in my head from receiver to giver, and I slid naturally into foreplay mode, lightly kissing her cheek and neck while my hands worked the less-sensitive parts of her body – her chest, legs, belly, face. I kept away from the erogenous zones. It was way too early for that. “And how would you like your toy to fuck you? Slow and loving, or hard and rough?”

Honestly, her answer took me by surprise. “Rough. VERY rough.”

For a second I froze, my sexual programming throwing up an error. I’d just lost myself in the depths of my submissive side, ceding my power and shedding my inhibitions more thoroughly than ever before. And now all of a sudden, she expected me to dom her? To go from my most vulnerable self to my most powerful? What was she thinking? Anxiety worked its ugly fingers into my heart, and it even crossed my mind to end the scene.

And then something primal clicked in my brain, and I had an idea.

I pushed myself up into a kneeling position and straddled her, my cock pushing into her shirt. “Rough. Is that what you said?”

“Yeah. Very rough.” She smiled. She was trying to project confidence, but I saw a hungry look in her eyes. Her sub side was taking over.

“Very well, my love. This fucktoy has many settings.”

And then it clicked for her too. Despite ceding the power to me in this moment, she realized she still retained it overall. I could be her rough, hungry, confident, powerful daddy dom… because that is what she commanded of me. I was her fucktoy, but all she’d done was click up the intensity. Toys are the best at giving you exactly what you want. They can be violent and powerful and turn you into a screaming, vulnerable puddle of orgasm, but YOU have control. All you have to do is lower the intensity if you so desire.

This was all the prep I needed. Armed with the knowledge that she could turn me back into a whimpering servant with a single command, my dom side roared to life, nipping and kissing and pawing at her most sensitive zones. Her neck, back, ass, nipples. All the places that I knew would turn her into a mewling little kitten. My hands, teeth, and tongue worked every single one, feeling her melt and writhe beneath my touch.

One hand grabbed the base of her shirt. The other one wandered briefly over her pussy. “Off,” I commanded. “NOW.” The look on her face was one of pure obedience as she scrambled to lose her clothes. She was bra-less under her shirt, which wasn’t a surprise – she usually sleeps without a bra. But she also wasn’t wearing panties under her shorts. This was a shock. Sometimes she likes to sleep nearly naked, if she’s too hot or she wants to feel close to me. But she always sleeps with panties. I briefly wondered how much of this she might’ve planned in advance.

Regardless, she was mine now. I grabbed both her arms and pinned her wrists behind her head as I teased her body with my mouth. She struggled a bit, but I knew she could struggle harder. She was letting me win. My mouth worked its way from her lips, to her neck, to her chest, nipples, belly, and pussy. I had minimal leverage at this point, but she let me hold her hands back while I worked her pussy with my tongue, giving almost no resistance. Eventually, I let her wrists go, and she left them there, constrained and vulnerable while I made her melt beneath my tongue.

I ate her out for a little bit, building her up toward orgasm. But when I felt her getting close I stopped. I pushed myself back on top of her, kissing her lips and cheek and face, and growling softly in her ear. “You don’t get to cum without my permission,” I whispered. “Now, are you ready to get used like the slut you are?”

“Yes, daddy,” she said. “Thank you.”

To make sure the power dynamic was still where I wanted it to be, I whispered into her ear: “One does not thank a toy. One simply uses it at the setting one wishes.”

Her response was stunned silence, and that was the green light I needed. I entered her, watching her face contort with shock and pleasure. Then I began to pound at her, power and animalistic lust behind each thrust, watching her shake and moan and writhe beneath me. Her eyes fluttered open and closed, and her moans became louder and more intense. I can’t tell you how long this went, as I truly don’t know. It could’ve been as quick as a minute, or as long as ten.

Like I said earlier, I used to live in an apartment with a roommate. When we’d have sex in the old place, my girl would always try and be as quiet as she could (not always succeeding). Even if the roommate wasn’t home, we shared a paper-thin wall with the neighbors. We could hear their TV at night, so we were sure they could hear us fucking. As a result of this, she had internalized being as quiet as possible while cumming. Even after we moved to an unattached house where the neighbors are 50 feet away my girl still struggled to let herself go vocally during orgasm.

This morning…. was different.

As I watched her build up to orgasm beneath me, the sounds she made got louder and louder. At a certain point they turned into screams. I’m honestly not sure at which moment she actually came (I can usually tell right away) because her screams were so loud and intense, morphing into animal howls, and they all blended together. I kept thrusting throughout, unsure if she’d cum or not and not daring to slow down in case she lost her orgasm.

After a minute or so, a pained look shot across her face and I instantly grew concerned. I stopped, pulling out of her, and gave her a look of concern.

“I’m fine,” she said, smiling.

“Color?” I asked.

“Yellow.”

That was what I expected to hear. I slumped over and kissed her, letting the intensity of the moment die down. She was exhausted, glistening with sweat, and a puddle of pleasure. She didn’t need to be fucked… she needed cuddles. I wrapped her in my arms. At this point I was genuinely unsure whether she’d cum or not, but it didn’t matter. Caring for her was more important.

“I came,” she said after a few kisses. “Really hard.”

“I could tell you were enjoying yourself, but I wasn’t sure if you did.”

“Yeah, I did, right before you started looking worried. I came super hard, and after that I felt really sensitive, so you continuing to fuck me hurt a little bit.”

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“No, it’s okay!” She kissed me and gave me a smile that reached her eyes. “You didn’t know, and you picked up on it right away. You asked me for a color and listened to what I said. You did a great job!”

I grinned, proud of myself.

I held her in my arms like that for a while, neither one of us talking, just basking in each other’s loving company. Even though I hadn’t come, my rock-hard erection started dying down. I forgot about my need for sexual release and allowed myself to live in the joy of the moment, my woman wrapped in her arms.

Eventually, her work alarm rang – the great enemy that had been gnawing at the back of my head. I knew it was coming, but I’d been trying to forget. The alarm meant she had one hour before she had to leave the house for work, and she needed to start getting ready – showering, doing her hair, getting dressed, and going out the door.

I felt her hand edge down to my cock. “There’s something we still have to take care of.”

“No, baby, don’t worry about it. This was amazing. I can take care of myself while you get ready.”

She grinned, pulled herself closer, her hand never leaving my cock. “Fuck work. I’ve been staying late all week. I can be a few minutes late.”

And then her hands and mouth were on my cock like some kind of demon. I said earlier that I can lose myself in a good blowjob, but this was different. This was an all-out sensory *assault* on my penis, tongue circling the tip while her hand worked up and down the shaft, her head briefly coming up for air and to give her hand some time to jack the head fully. Now, my girl is dirty as hell, and a *very* obedient slut when she’s feeling submissive. But all in all, I know she doesn’t really like giving head. She’s very good at it, and she enjoys the reactions that come from it. But I know she doesn’t really like the act very much. And she hates the taste of cum. I’ve tasted my own before too, so I don’t blame her! The result is when she gives me a blowjob, I’ve always felt this internal fear that she’s hating every second of it, and is only doing it to please me… even though she’s told me many times that she has fun with it despite her cum-phobia.

This time, it was more than her just “having fun with it.” I understood she was getting immense sexual pleasure from pleasing me like this. I know that it’s good to moan and give vocal affirmation while receiving a blowjob, but oftentimes I just lose myself in the pleasure and forget to really do anything. This time, I became a mewling, writhing mess. My sub side probably started taking over, which helped. I yelped, grunted and moaned as she hit sensitive spots up and down the length of my cock, thrusting my hips and letting my legs quiver with pleasure. I let myself go completely. “I’m close,” I said at one point. “If you don’t want me to cum in your mouth, now’s a good time to stop.”

This was standard practice for us when she blew me. She liked to bring me to the edge with her mouth, and then finish with her hands. But today there was zero hesitation. My words only made her suck harder. She took her hands off my dick and used one to squeeze my nipples while the other kept her balance, and her head bobbed up and down the length of my cock, shooting spikes of pleasure through my body. A part of my mind screamed that I shouldn’t cum, that she wouldn’t like it, but I shoved it aside and allowed myself to be brought to the plateau of pleasure.

“Cumming,” I grunted.

And i released myself in her mouth. Even as my balls drained, my body shaking with pleasure, a piece of me was scared. I know how much she hates cum. In the past, she’s nearly thrown up when I finish in her mouth. I was scared that she’d allowed me to make a terrible mistake. But as my cock throbbed and released, her mouth sealed around it, receiving the cum. She made eye contact with me. Her mouth was still on my cock, but she smiled with her eyes. Then she pulled herself up, smiled for real, and *swallowed.*

I could tell right away it didn’t feel great in her stomach. The old me would’ve felt guilty and concerned, but instead I lay back and basked in awe of the act she’d just performed for me. Despite all her reservations, she’d blown me to completion and swallowed my cum. And though it wasn’t really pleasurable for her, she’d enjoyed doing it. For me.

And that’s the wall that had finally come down today. All my life, throughout all my sexual partners, and through five years of a loving and trusting relationship, I’d never realized I had this barrier in my own heart. Deep in the depths of my soul, I still struggled to accept that I was sexually *desired*. No matter how many girls had slept with me before, and no matter how much love, affection, and desire my soon-to-be wife showered me with, I’d never truly been able to internalize the fact that I was wanted. Of course I loved to please my partner… doesn’t everyone? But I had this need, this *compulsion*, to make my partner come first, and a mental barricade that stopped me from giving into receiving pleasure without giving to my partner first. Why? Because in my soul, I had never let myself believe that I could be wanted, just for me. I had accepted the idea that sex was transactional, even with the love of my life. And that meant her desires had to be met first, before we could even start thinking about mine.

My god, guys… it didn’t have to be this way!

How many earth-shattering orgasms had I stifled because my partner hadn’t cum yet? How many times had I blamed myself for my partner turning down sex, instead of listening to her logical reasons why (exhausted, on her period, self-conscious, stressed)? How many times had my partner – not feeling up to having sex – offered to blow or tease me to take care of me, and I said no because I didn’t feel comfortable receiving pleasure without giving any back? Perhaps this was the whole reason I loved domming but resisted being dommed. The submissive role, ultimately, is about receiving. Even when you’re following your dom’s orders and doing as your dom commands, you’re still taking pleasure from ceding control. The submissive role is receptive. The dominant role, even when you command your sub to fulfill your sexual fantasies, is giving.

I won’t go into a whole deep psychoanalysis here, but perhaps, gentle femdom gave me just the right amount of love, affirmation, and encouragement to be my full sexual self. Maybe even when I subbed in the past, I never truly broke down my mental walls and allowed myself to be seen as an object of sexual desire. My fiance had told me many times in the past that she loved teasing me because she loved seeing me moan and squirm. Even when she didn’t feel up to having sex, she would usually offer to tease me. Of course, I’ve always loved being teased because the sexual sensation is so good. But my mind still threw up roadblocks and made me second-guess every moan, every thrust, every whimper, because I wasn’t sure it was the “hot” thing to do.

But thanks to gentle femdom, and a loving, caring, understanding, and masterfully switchy partner, I am learning how to see myself as the sexually desirable person I am. It’s been a week since this encounter and I’ve never felt so sexually open. I love sexting, but my girl rarely initiates (it just doesn’t come naturally to her), and in the past I’d always psyched myself out of sending a racy text or pic because it “wouldn’t be desired.”

Well guys, while I was on this work trip my girl and I sexted like CRAZY every single day! I set the mood by begging for her permission to masturbate the moment I landed. She kept it going by sending me racy pics throughout the day, knowing I was in back-to-back meetings and couldn’t open them . “Check snap when you’re alone,” her text said. I excused myself to the bathroom and was made rock-hard by all the racy snaps I got to enjoy in the short break between meetings. At night, in my hotel, I video-chatted her and she got to watch me masturbate. She wasn’t feeling particularly horny at the moment but she LOVED seeing me enjoy myself and cum. I sent her a nude in the morning every day before I left my hotel, and she responded with her own, which I got to enjoy each night as I came back home.

Allow yourselves to be desired, guys. A lot of men need to hear this message, but plenty of women need to hear it too. You are all sexy, beautiful, loving, and worthy people who deserve every ounce of love, pleasure, and hotness that come your way. It may take an intense experience like this to break down your walls and fully internalize this message. But please, know that you are wanted. Know that you are loved. Know that you are HOT!

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/rd06va/a_kinky_gentle_femdom_session_takes_a_surprising