All relationships need to adapt, grow, and constantly redefine themselves or they begin to wilt and die. Keeping it fresh is key, and this is absolutely true for a submissive and dom relationship as well. My sub has been evolving in his tastes and, not to my surprise, our routine is no longer the end-all to his sex life. How do I know this? We talk almost everyday. It definitely shouldn’t come as a surprise that the dom/sub relationship is 99% talking and understanding. It’s almost as if I’m his manager at work and we have a weekly 1 on 1 synch-up where I ask him “how are you feeling?” and “are you happy?” etc.
When he first pledged himself to me, he was enthralled by every interaction and the corrections I administered were beyond his expectations, sexually speaking. The first time I pegged him, honestly, for both of us, it was pretty special, but for him… I’d probably have the same reaction if someone gave me the best orgasm of my life, in the backseat of the new Bentayga I bought with the proceeds from writing a best selling novel on the fetish lifestyle. Now that he’s experienced my strap-on dozens of times, pegging is a nice reward for him, not the pinnacle moment it once was and he has been asking me to increase the intensity of our sessions during our little 1 on 1 chats. He wants me to up the ante and, specifically, he wants me to cage him. So…. I have some pretty strong opinions on caging, and I’m about to share them with you all in case this is a subject that hasn’t been discussed ad nauseam by you and your contemporaries, as I have done. Ok, for a little background info on being a dom, I don’t forcibly take away my subs agency; he gives it up to me and I accept it. I don’t just start emasculating him randomly either, we have very clearly defined how he wants to be dominated and I indulge him by dominating him in those specific ways. Now, if I cage him, then he simply CANNOT hold a copy of the key, only I can hold the key. Otherwise, he caged himself and there was no transfer of power and the whole thing is bullshit. I will not participate in pantomimed S&M pageantry, and I am CERTAIN my sub has NEVER even considered some watered down, fake scenario where he can just unlock his cock whenever HE feels like doing so. He wants an authentic experience where I hold the only key.
That being said, there are some serious health and hygine concerns about being caged 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, like my sub wants. For starters, in the event of priapism, my sub would need to go to the ER and have the cage cut off him if I were out of town or was asleep when he needed me. This is a huge concern for me because my sub is a recovering porn addict – which, in my opinion, is pretty common for a sub. I am aware long term caging can result in other health problems, but, he understands the risks. The other, even more concerning aspect, is the hygiene. You can’t just soap yourself up, those things need to be sterilized and to do so properly, you need ot take it off – otherwise you’re washing your genitals with some harsh agents, like isopropyl alcohol and, I’d have the key. On top of all this, exercise is a pretty difficult, I mean, imaging going for a jog with your dick stuck in a little trap! And, if anything, my bun bun needs to do more jogging… maybe I’ll make that one of his new unpleasant corrections! Oh, and you can’t really wear a suit and not have everyone’s eyes immediately get drawn to the bizarre, unnatural bulge poking into your trousers.
On the other hand, I have to understand that my sub is looking to explore his fetish and I’m proud of him for having the courage to do so. I’ve felt this trend coming over the last few weeks as he’s been more inclined to ask for physical punishments and some of his asks have raised an eyebrow as they have fallen beyond the scope of what usually makes my little piggy squeal and cum on my regular visits to administer his corrections and drain his tiny balls.
But… at the end of the day, I said yes and, as of this very moment, my sub’s little cock is all locked up.
Now, how did I get around my real concern about a visit to the emergency room? Kinda came up with a great concept! I made my sub buy one of those “key safes” that real estate agents use and put the spare key in there. It’s a push button code and he has the box in his apartment. However, concerning the code… I wrote the code inside a sealed birthday card that I signed the envelope with a sharpie. If there is an emergency, he can free his tiny cock immediately as long as he has the box and card.
However, if he opens that card for anything other than a real emergency, then, not only is the whole cage experiment is over, I told him it would jeopardize our relationship. And, the way I sealed that card, it’s pretty darn tamper proof! The fucking thing, right now, is pristine… not a fold, bent corner, or a smudge anywhere. Besides, I trust my little sub so much and he trusts me, which is why he gives me his agency and I take that responsibility seriously.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ql6hhb/building_the_perfect_femdomsub_relationship_by