The Cock-Stroking Saint of Antares
Saints come in all shapes and sizes. Some come and come and come, and just keep having orgasms until their religious followers join in, or go way disgusted. Few serious-minded religious people consider masturbation a legitimate and worthwhile form of prayer. This disparaging view is an Old Earth-born piece of nonsense, from onanism in the Old Testament, as if that old book was the most accurate description of Universal Reality.
As with many old books, the doctrines of Judaism, Christianity and Islam were taught and pushed, and promoted as accurate descriptions of reality, many centuries past their expiration date. They become stale, moldy and unhealthy in all ways. People only ate the stale sandwiches, because no one was presenting them with better, healthy spiritual food. When no accurate descriptions of reality are available, people often believe what they are told. The loudest, most widely distributed or most charismatic ideas dominate the decade, or many decades, and limit the imaginations of millions of people.
When Devonius Grafaleon of Antares joined the local **Church of the Sacred Jizz**, no-one noticed. The cult had less than 1000 followers on the entire planet, mostly in two cities, and the members kept to themselves, out of the public spotlight. In the conservative culture of Antares, human sexuality was a private matter, discussed between grown-ups only when necessary and with some embarrassment. Entirely opposite of Vega Prime, and several other promiscuous planets. The Hermaphrodite King once said, “Not everyone appreciates my dangling balls and lovely breasts. I know this. When I travel to conservative planets, I cover them up, and don’t even talk about my personal pleasures. Many cultures prefer to talk about everything, everything except the bodies the live in, and the sacred relationship between those living bodies the Living God.”
This was certainly an accurate description of social and religious behavior on Antarus. The liberal-minded civilization did not intrude into the private lives of their citizens, but most people would frown at both male and female masturbation in church, and be entirely uncomfortable with jacking-it during a religious ceremony. To even mention such things, was a major breech of etiquette and public decency.
Regardless of the pervading social climate, Devonius, took vows and became Brother Berthold of Antares. Almost every day he stood nude before the Altar of Eternal Bliss and jacked his erection. Often his two best girlfriends masturbated with him, and sucked his erection during the Morning and Evening Prayers. Brother Berthold withheld is sacred semen for six days, and on the seventh day gushed cream into the mouths of one or two of his best girlfriends. They swallowed the sacred ejaculate with great joy and enthusiasm, and usually had orgasms at the same time as Brother Berthold. These were standard rituals within the Church of the Sacred Jizz, performed by 200 million humans across four galaxies.
Brother Berthold was entirely aware, most of the citizens on Antares would not sit still to hear any rational and factually accurate discussion of the religious practices of those 200 million far-off humans. That reality was difficult to imagine. In fact, impossible for most people to imagine. Religious jacking-off was considered an impossibility; an insane combination of two completely different human behaviors. In the minds of most people, an orgasm is a lovely human experience, but may not be described in any credible way as a religious experience.
Here we encounter a basic flaw in many human imaginations: What is “credible” relies completely on the norms and ideas already inside one’s mind. If the norms and ideas inside one’s own mind are limited or entirely inaccurate, Truth Itself will not seem “credible.” Truth will be ignored and called impossible, simply because prevailing public opinion is too far removed from Truth to accept Truth. Many saints have encountered this problem, and each one found a novel solution.
Brother Berthold decided buy a bus, a big red, yellow and green bus, much like Old Earth school-buses. Brother Berthold decided to take his lusty religion down the road, off to the rural areas of Antares, and rustle-up some converts. Up in the lush green foothills of Mount Mariah, on a lazy day in late summer, in a town called Shepherd’s Rest, Brother Bertold preached the **Sermon of Divine Vaginal Lips**. Lt. Alastair McGonagal was in the audience, seated in the shade under an elm tree, on a large plaid blanket with two local shepherd girls, fully clothed.
The audience sat in the grass and marigold meadow, eight young men and their four girlfriends, all under 30-years-old. Two older men stood leaning against an oak tree smoking pipes, looking sideways at the naked preacher. Brother Berthold stood naked on a wide stump, hands raise above his head, in dramatic gestures as he articulated the sacred qualities of human vaginae. He said: “Every man born passes through these holy gates. The semen of their creation passes through these holy gates. The puffy vaginal lips after orgasm are a symbol of Divine Joy. Both men and women worship the puffy, Divine Vaginal Lips.”
The older men were politely restraining their laughter, smiling at each other. The younger men and their girls appeared entranced by the preacher. They had never heard anyone describe female genitalia in such glowing terms. The girls were standing a little taller, feeling proud of the Holy Vagina between their thighs. The boys had trouble concentrating on the preachers words, as their minds wandered, filling-up with images of their favorite girl’s vaginal folds. And remembering the honey-taste, and sweet-sea smell of their moisture.
The preacher concluded his sermon, saying: “I will now bless the Holy Vaginae of all women present. I offer my erection and my sacred cream.”
And then, Brother Berthold of Antares took his cock in his right hand, squeezing and caressing it full-up. His caressed his balls with his left hand. Two female acolytes removed their robes, pressing their large nude breasts against his thighs. Soon Brother Berthold blessed their faces.
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Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/qapktn/tales_from_starship_rimshot_the_cockstroking