I was getting our house ready to sell, and also selling all of our furniture, kids toys, and basically everything. I needed to pressure wash the driveway. I work with a guy that lives down the block, and we know each other well enough to borrow a pressure washer. I’m over at his house picking it up, and his wife is out in the garage with us. She is 5’4, at least 170lbs, chubby, she has this almost bowl style haircut, that always seems to be in her face. I have interacted with her before, and I have never once thought she is attractive. I can’t stand her voice, and she making this simple pressure washer pick up as difficult as can be. She gives a solid five minute tutorial on how to use it, freaks out because I have to take it apart to fit it in my car, and she is being a total bitch. She starts laying in to her husband about how he needs to pressure wash their driveway, but now he can’t because I’ll have it until who knows when. I try to deflect some this by thanking them, and mentioning that we are selling absolutely everything, and I will give them a great price on anything they want. This has the right effect, and she asks if she can come over now and have a look.
Heck yeah, let’s go.
She plops down in my passenger seat and waits, I finish up loading the pressure washer, and thank her husband. He looks at his wife sitting in my car, kind of smirks, and says, no, thank you.
I get in, and drive to my house, like a block away, maybe a 2 minute drive. She’s looking around at car, fucking with things and changing settings, and just really pissing me off. I realize that while she and I have talked before, we have never been alone together, or even had a conversation that was between just the two of us. So, it’s a little awkward, but it doesn’t last long. When she climbs out of the car, the backs of her thighs make this ripping, farting sound, because they stuck to the leather seat. It’s the sound that makes me turn my head, just as she is heaving herself out out the car, I get an up close and graphic view of her ass. The way she was bent gave her an extreme wedgie, and I could see her panties through the bottom of her shorts, and little black hairs sticking out. The sound she made must have embarrassed her, she was red faced and nervous laughing when she finally freed herself from the seat.
I laughed a little too. Leather seats, they do that.
I think that was when she realized I had been staring at her ass. I think she also realized how far up her ass her panties and shorts had gotten. She may have also pieced together that she was not very well groomed down there. She turned away from me, starting walking towards the back door of my house, and digging her underwear out of the crack. I unload the pressure washer while she shops. She emerges a few minutes later, with a list of items. We talk about prices, pick up, that sort of thing.
She adds me on messenger, and we have a regular back and forth about this item, or that item. I’m sending pictures, and we are negotiating, all very above board.
But, for whatever reason, probably because I have seen a little bit of her pubes, I start making all my replies to her sexually suggestive, double entendres. “I’ll let know before I come,” “it’s kind of big, I don’t know if it’ll fit” and she plays right along, “I’ve handled bigs ones before,” “you can bring it in through my backdoor.”
I go over to her house, middle of the afternoon, husband is not home, kid is napping. I have to reassemble a trampoline, it was actually too big to fit in the car. She is wearing an oversized tank top with one of those bralette things underneath. Her shorts are too short, cotton, and a little baggy.
While I’m putting this trampoline together, she is helping me, holding the bars in place while I screw them. “Good thing you brought you own tool” “I always do, never know when might have to screw something.” I ‘accidentally’ brush her hand, lean into her a little, slide my arm along her boob. She is bending over, and I can see right down the front of her shirt, it’s so big I can actually clearly see her sheer bra and nipple through the arm opening. Every time she turns I get a view of her panties. I finish up, and she asks if I can carry it inside for her. “I’ll put it anywhere you want it.”
As we are walking into her house, she asks me how the move is going, how selling the house is going. I tell her that putting together a trampoline in her driveway is the most relaxing thing I have done all week. She says that’s terrible, but if I can keep my voice down, because her daughter is napping, I’m welcome to dawdle about and have a beer. I agree. But ask if her husband, would mind me drinking his beer with his wife, alone in his kitchen. “No, he doesn’t like this beer.”
I make a point of checking her out. I’m obvious about it. The way you look at strippers, or porn stars, I look her over as if it is her purpose, to be looked at by me. Nothing. Dumpy. Plump in all the wrong places. Her stupid hair keeps hanging right in her face and she won’t brush it aside. She sees me looking at her, and she is bright red, she is blushing to the point that it must be painful. She breaks eye contact to goes to the fridge. She exaggerates her movements as she gets the beer. She bends over slowly, and I can see her fat pussy from behind, how is it possible to be a little on the chubby side and still have no ass? When she turns to hand me the beer, I stand closer to than is necessary, and make sure our hands touch during the bottle exchange. “Do you need a thing for that, or can you do it with your hand?” “I need a thing.” The bottle opener is a topless mermaid.
I open both bottles, and hold one out for her, but still keeping it very close to me. This forces her to have to step forward, towards me, to get it. And she doesn’t back away. She starts to say something, something along the lines of how far a we going to take this game, but I interrupt her by placing my cold bottle on her nipple, and pinching the other one through her shirt. I step back, so that I can set my bottle down, but I don’t let her nipple go. Now I go under her shirt, and grab both of her tits. She comes in close to my face, our lips lightly touch, not an actual kiss, and she starts rubbing around, looking for my cock.
It’s not hard.
I’m sure if I get it out, everything will be ok.
I open my shorts, pull my dick out, and start rubbing it, trying to get it hard. She goes down, and just sticks it in her mouth. Not sucking it, not bobbing her head, just holding it in her mouth. Nothing. It will not get hard. I try playing with her tits again, nothing. I try thinking about that cashier from the grocery that I am obsessed with, nothing.
I’m ready to give up on the whole thing, I pick up the beer, and start drinking it, I’m looking around the kitchen, thinking about leaving. I have like 2000 things I have to do, and thinking about the move, and everything. I guess when I stopped thinking about the worst blow job I have ever had, I kind of got a little hard. Just the head of my dick is in her mouth, and I am jerking myself off. It’s not great, but finally something is happening. When I think I’m about to cum, I take it out, the jizz is just as unimpressed as the rest of me. It trickles out slowly, and is just kind of laying on her face, beside her nose, and running down her cheek. She gets up, and is leaning over the sink, washing her face. I put my hand in between her legs, from behind, my fingers on her pussy, my thumb on her asshole, rubbing and squeezing through her panties. She bows her legs out, and kind of squats down onto my hand, and starts grinding back and forth on my hand. The heat coming off of her pussy is significant. I have never experienced a wetter pussy in all my life, she is actually dripping.
I pound the rest of the beer.
“Do you have the cash, I need to get going.”
She literally skips off to grab the money.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/pix0p9/its_awkward_but_it_doesnt_last_long_mf