[FM] An honest (and thorough) look at our first cuckquean experience

For some context, my boyfriend (26M) and I (26F) have been together for almost 2 years and we’re very much in love. We’ve always been faithful to each other, and he’s very into bondage, so kinkiness isn’t new territory for us.

I discovered this was a kink of mine about a year ago, but it took a couple months for me to broach the subject with my boyfriend. When I did, he was interested. We’d fantasize about it verbally during sex, which is how we confirmed that I was VERY into it. We talked during sex about making it a reality, but never really had a levelheaded sit-down conversation about the logistics of doing so.

A few weeks ago, he set up a few dating profiles—he told me about it afterward and I said it was okay, but I don’t remember explicitly giving him the go-ahead. For the past couple weeks, he’s spent much of his time swiping through apps trying to find someone (most of which was done while I wasn’t around). Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to find someone who was open to the idea. She and my boyfriend hit it off over Snapchat, and began to message each other pretty frequently. There was one night when we were both sitting on the couch and I wanted to cuddle, but he was sitting on the other end of the couch texting her instead, which I didn’t particularly care for. One day he told me they’d sexted and sent nudes to each other that morning while I was asleep. I appreciated being filled in afterward and found reading the conversation pretty hot, but I did wish that he’d gotten my approval or at least made me aware of it beforehand.

They then made plans to meet up and go out for drinks together. A couple days later, my bf asked me if it was okay if sex happened on the first date, and I said yes. He told me that because of her living arrangement it couldn’t happen at her house, and he didn’t want to get a hotel so they were just going to come back to our apartment. I felt a little weird about this very first time happening in our home, but I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to ruin their plans. I told him I wanted him to wear a condom, at least for this first outing. When he asked about whether or not I’d be willing to share my toys, I said I wasn’t yet comfortable with any toys meant for my clit (e.g. my wand) being used on her yet. He suggested putting a condom over the wand, but I said I’d still rather not do that.

The day of the date came, and shortly before he left he asked how I was feeling. I really appreciated that, because I felt like I hadn’t been consulted much throughout this process. I said I was feeling fine and asked him to keep me updated, which he told me he’d do. She also doesn’t have a car, so he was going to be picking her up and driving them both around. He said that since he hadn’t eaten much that day, he’d suggested to her that they also go out to eat before getting drinks.

**Here’s where the problems began.** After about 45 minutes of not getting any texts, I asked if he’d gotten there okay. Ten minutes went by without a reply, so I sent him two more texts. I finally got a response, but my anxiety was already on the rise. He texted me that they were at a restaurant I’d asked him to take me to recently, and that raised my hackles a bit. When he sensed that, he called me and asked if I was okay. I said yes, but I also laid down a couple additional ground rules I hadn’t thought of before: I didn’t want him to pay for her food or drinks, and I didn’t want them kissing outside the context of sex. He’d already paid for her food, but he told me he’d follow those rules from then on.

They spent nearly 3 hours getting food and drinks while I sat at home alone, waiting anxiously for updates that were few and far between. Finally, he told me they were coming back to the apartment. They’d wanted this first session to be just the two of them, so I went to a nearby cafe and waited about an hour and a half for them to have sex and for him to drive her home. Before I left, I sprayed some of my perfume above the bed so I’d at least be part of things a little bit. I was disappointed to find that I didn’t feel aroused thinking about what they were doing back at the apartment; I just felt left out and anxious. After he’d texted me that they were on their way to the apartment, I didn’t hear from them again until he was driving her home.

When he finally got back, I asked him to run me through what they’d done. He started describing the sex they’d had (they’d made out, she blew him for a little bit, he’d tried to put a condom on my wand so he could use that on her but it had broken so he’d given up on that, they’d had sex in missionary and doggy and cowgirl, and then she blew him again and he came on her face), but in the middle of this she sent him a Snapchat with a picture of her smiling and saying “thank you for a lovely evening.” For some reason, that set me off. I felt upset that she was treating this like a normal first date and that she wasn’t texting him to ask about my reaction or how things were going with the aftercare, especially considering she knew this was our very first cuckquean experience. It had already been bothering me that she hadn’t inquired about me much at all in the week-long lead-up to this date (she didn’t even know my name). I asked my boyfriend if they’d taken any photos or videos for me, which is something I’d requested, and he said they hadn’t. That’s when I got REALLY upset—like, full-blown panic attack upset.

I told him that ever since he’d started this whole quest to find a cake, I felt like I was being left out of my own kink. He’d set up the dating profiles without asking my explicit permission, had done much of the search for a third on his own, and hadn’t involved me at all in this first encounter. He’d also disregarded my wish that they not use my sex toys this first time. It didn’t help that we never really had a real first date, and the fact that this girl got more of a first date with him than I did made me jealous (and not in an arousing way). I basically said that I felt like none of this had actually been done for my benefit, and that I felt more like he’d cheated on me than cucked me. I told him this was my kink and that I should be made a top priority, and I didn’t feel like that at all. He kept saying over and over that this was all for me, that if he’d known it was even a slight possibility I’d be this hurt he wouldn’t have done it, etc.

That night, we both slept on the couch because I couldn’t even handle sleeping in the bed where they’d had sex. I felt so hurt by the night’s events, and I was scared of going in my own bedroom. I’d really tried to honestly assess my feelings about this date prior to that day, but I’d never expected I would react like this.

The next day, we tiptoed around each other for a few hours before sitting down to have a more clearheaded conversation about everything. We discussed what had gone wrong—rushing into things without due discussion, the lack of communication, my reluctance to assert myself when I felt uncomfortable, the lack of preliminary ground rules, leaving me out of things more than I was comfortable with. At the end of our talk, we sent a message to our cake telling her about this conversation and saying we *might* be willing to have another session, but that significant adjustments would need to be made. She said that was fine, and **we drafted a list of guidelines**:

* All parties involved should meet each other before anything else goes down, even just briefly.
* Any non-sexual activities should ideally involve all three of us.
* Everyone’s feelings should be considered, but as this is my kink, my boyfriend is going to be keeping my feelings a priority. The aim is for sex, not another relationship.
* Leaving me out entirely is difficult for me emotionally. In regards to sex, sending texts/pictures/videos, letting me listen or describing things in detail afterward is better than nothing, but I’d prefer to be involved.
* Keep things casual and don’t catch feelings—and if you do catch feelings, please be honest with us so we don’t endanger our relationship.
* Degradation is fine and welcome, but no negative comments on anyone’s physical appearance (both our cake and I struggle with poor body image, so we don’t want to exacerbate any issues).
* No romantic kissing outside of a sexual context.
* STD testing & proof of birth control are needed before going condom-free is a possibility.
* We can’t promise how frequently these sessions will happen, as we have our own satisfying sex life outside of this and our time for date nights is already fairly limited.
* Please be willing to adapt to additional guidelines as they come up. We should all be checking in with each other, especially after sessions, to see what does and doesn’t work.

We sent these guidelines to our cake and she agreed with all of them, which I was super grateful for.

**And here’s where it gets good again:** After we’d had this cathartic conversation and my fears and anxiety had been sufficiently assuaged, my bf and I started to make out, slowly and sensually. He whispered to me, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I wanted this all to be for you, and I’m so sorry it wasn’t.” I told him I wanted to reclaim our bedroom, so we eventually moved things there. He asked me to turn on some mood lighting so he could see me, then he laid me down on the bed and said, “I missed you. I missed your body. I missed your breasts. I missed your noises. I missed our sex.” He told me I was beautiful, and when he entered me, he told me my pussy was perfect. We started making love, and he told me, “This is all that matters. Anything else we do is fun, but it’s just playing. This is real.”

He put my leg up on his shoulder (one of my favorite positions), and I asked if he’d done the same thing to her. He said yes, and that sent a thrill through me, so I kept going. I asked for more and more details and I was so happy to feel intense arousal with everything he said. He’d spanked her and pulled her hair and called her a dirty whore, she’d told him he was a good kisser, he made her cum easily with his fingers while they were in missionary, she’d run up behind him and grabbed him by the ass afterward, in the car on the way home she said he was the first person to ever cum on her face and he told her about his fantasy to have a girl on his cock and a girl on his face at the same time, which she was down for (she’s bisexual). It all made me insanely wet, to the point where he told me he didn’t know if I’d ever been this wet for him before.

It didn’t take him long to cum, and he came HARD (in his words, it was a 10/10 orgasm). I came with him, and I think it was the longest orgasm I’ve ever had. I rode that wave out for upwards of 20 seconds. After that first orgasm, I said, “Maybe this is working for me after all.” He responded, “Yeah, I agree. We just needed to sort some things out first.” I kept asking him to talk to me more, and he alternated between telling me specific details about his sex with our cake and telling me how hard I’d made him cum, how much he loved the feel of my breasts, etc. At one point he said, “I’m yours. My body is yours. My cock is yours.” I repeated everything after him, and that alone made me feel more confident in the situation.

We had sex for more than an hour. I came once more in missionary, then he took me from behind and came all over my back (his cumshots are huge), which spurred on my third orgasm. Every time, my orgasms lasted for several seconds and were incredibly intense. My bf told me he loved seeing in my face how intensely I was feeling everything. Our emotions were so heightened from the rollercoaster we’d been on, and I absolutely loved the renewed and fervent appreciation I felt for him. I couldn’t stop telling him that I loved him, his cock, his hands, the way he looked at me, being connected to him, the way his body looked as he moved above me. I said, “I bet she loved this view too.”

Afterward, we both felt giddy with pleasure and love and excitement. We couldn’t stop touching each other. I told him he should message our cake and tell her we’re definitely on for round two, because we’d just had some mind-blowingly amazing sex thanks to her.

**If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading my absolute novel about our first cuckquean experience.** I’ve noticed that real-life tales of cuckqueaning are unfortunately pretty hard to come by, so I wanted to share our experience both as a cautionary tale and also to see if it resonates with anyone else. Please feel free to share your thoughts and any additional advice you may have for us! What are some of your guidelines & ground rules that have made your own cuckquean experience successful?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ohcbi4/fm_an_honest_and_thorough_look_at_our_first