I’d originally sat down to type another story for /r/gonewildstories, but this… didn’t end up as pornographic as some of the other stuff I’ve written. This is a story about the strangest sexual relationship of my life, rather than a single sex act with a climax, so you might… I don’t know what you’ll make of it. It doesn’t end well.
Like I said: it was the strangest relationship I’d ever had. It was like we were both possessed. I’m going to leave one thing out that we did together because it… Probably wouldn’t be understood and might even revolt some people (nothing illegal or scatological, no worries)… But I’ll let you read between the lines, pretty sure you’ll figure it out.
For those of you who’ve been following my other stories about my life on /r/gonewildstories … this isn’t going to be anything like those. You will not cum reading this. But it was… Compelling. This was a pretty singular event. I’ve never even really talked to anyone about this so despite everything I’m feeling nervous typing this… Well, here goes…
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I was in my second year of Uni at the time, busily flunking out of computer science in a manic depressive haze. Something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Math and programming were the only things I’d been good at, but I found I hated them now. The thrill was gone. I wasn’t making friends either, which was weird for me. None of this fit.
(It took years for me to discover this was simply because I was in denial about wanting to pursue more creative and entrepreneurial paths, but let’s not get into that.)
Add to that the fact that I’d been dating a girl I was pretty serious about, but she’d had to move to Europe with her family. We were keeping in touch, trying the long-distance thing, but it wasn’t the same. I felt guilty about wanting to break it off but didn’t know how.
So in this cloud of discomfort I found myself developing an obsession with goth culture and vampirism. I didn’t dress up or wear makeup, but there was something about this notion of a profound, dominating connection between two people, this solemn seduction that would reach through the skin of both parties. I listened to a lot of Joy Division and Bauhaus. It was the only thing that felt “right” at the time.
So I got involved in the vampire (and “vampyre”) chat boards, and started checking where people were from. I noticed one person, we’ll just call her “E”, was from the same university I was… But it didn’t feel right to reach out to her.
Now, the Uni used this weird command-line driven system for everything I can barely remember anything about… It was Unix-based anyway. But if you wanted to do a private chat with someone you had to exit everything, type some long command with their login in it, and then wait for them to receive it and type their own long command with your login in it. It was like if you had to make a phonecall you’d have to dial someone’s number, and they’d have to dial yours back in order for it to connect.
So one day I got a private chat request from “E”. I found myself feverishly typing the command to acknowledge, suddenly very keen to make the connection.
We started chatting and it came out that she’d been trying to reach someone else. She’d typed someone else’s login. So technically… technically it wasn’t even possible for us to be talking. Yet there it was. This was to be the first of a few unexplained events in our relationship.
We kept chatting. Over a few days the talk got intimate. Not intimate as in sex, more like… Deep desires, strong feelings. We talked vampires, and… Things we liked related to vampires. She told me things she’d never told anyone. I told her secrets too. We were vulnerable to each other in ways we’d never been with anyone.
Eventually it was time to meet. I found myself telling her it was time. She let me know which computer lab she was in – it was a building on the opposite side of the university. I told her I was looking forward to meeting her, and logged off.
But I was also hoping she was ugly. I know that sounds ridiculous but… I was kinda still messed up over my now-European girlfriend and I didn’t want to get pulled into some weird romance.
I walked in, scanned the room, and immediately knew who she was even though her back was to the door. Her hair was long, down to her hips, a smooth straight mane of natural light blond. I walked over and sat next to her. Eyes that cut into me, a sweet smile, a voice that was all at once intelligent and girly. I remember thinking: “Well, I’m fucked.”
But the spark of hunger was officially ignited in me, like a fever. I wanted her like I’d never wanted anyone in my life. From that moment on she invaded my every waking thought for weeks on end.
“E” looked at me, said hi, and we sat together in silence while she tried not to look at me, clearly nervous. She said she had to wrap a few things up before we went anywhere together. That was fine. We sat there for what seemed like forever, reveling in this weird connection we’d established. She was the one that knew my deepest darkest secrets. I was the one that knew hers. We were bonded. We had just met.
I remember we walked out hand in hand but not much else about that day. In the weeks that followed, however, we became obsessed with one another. I found myself telling her to do things like skipping classes to come see me, or leaving her home late at night and driving across two cities so we could meet.
The sex was amazing but in retrospect I think it was only so good because of that strange magic. I remember our first time together more than any of the others. We were in her room for the first time, finally ready to have sex, and I went to go down on her. She said: “Okay but don’t expect me to cum, I’m… Different.”
That’s all she said. And even though we’d never discussed sex, I knew right away what it meant. As I licked and sucked at her clit I slipped an index finger deep inside her ass, rubbing up against the pair of fingers from my other hand inside her pussy.
I’d never even considered anything like that before. And it was exactly what she needed, what she secretly wanted, what she hadn’t even been able to hint at. She asked me later how I knew and… To this day I can’t tell you. I honestly don’t know.
One odd thing about our sex life is that I never actually had “sex” with her, meaning I never put my cock in anything but her mouth or hand. It seemed wrong somehow, like this sacred thing that was between us would be violated. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t an insane amount of lust between us. There was even talk of having a threesome with one of her old boyfriends, which would have been the night I penetrated her ass while he fucked her pussy, but something always held us back despite how good the idea sounded.
Instead we licked, bit, sucked, and ran our hands everywhere, and… some vampire-related things you probably don’t want to know about. She was unbelievably talented at giving blowjobs. Her breasts were large and pendulous, with big areolas I loved to suck. I was always eager to go down on her. We held each other’s naked bodies for hours.
At some point she gave my phone number to her roommate and said: “If I don’t come home for a few days, call this number.” She started to feel like I owned her, controlled her, and that if I told her to abandon her life she would obey. For my part, I started to feel like a predator pursuing a dangerous prey. At any moment she could see me for the lame idiot I knew I was, reject me, utterly destroy me, so I had to constantly seduce her, constantly stay strong and commanding.
There was this one night we drove out to a goth bar together. “Love’s Secret Domain” came on and we danced and it was… Strangely choreographed. My body moved in ways it never had, and she was in sync with me. The song ended, she turned to me and said: “What was that?” I felt the same… Like a strange spell had washed over us, controlled us, and then lifted as the song ended.
She had me over one night and showed me the movie “9½ Weeks” about an obsessive relationship between two people. I could see the relation but it seemed trite compared to this peculiar thing we had.
Sexy stories are supposed to end with someone cumming, some kind of climax, but this is the story of a relationship, not just a unique fuck. And it’s a relationship that ended.
So what I can tell you is this: one day we were talking and I suddenly realized I had to stop calling her. Again, I don’t know why. The same force that put us together seemed to be moving inside of me, telling me quite firmly that it was time to stop.
Some time later I was feeling insecure about myself, called her to reconnect, and we got together. It was nice but it wasn’t… There was seduction, there was connection, it felt good, but it felt *normal*. And for us, normal was all wrong.
I mean let’s face it: I was still a messed up guy trying to figure out what the hell he wanted out of life. I really had no idea, no direction. She was a brilliant career-minded woman. So despite my wanting to warm myself by her flame, in the end, it couldn’t work. I wanted it back very, very badly but… Well, it’s best for her sake that it didn’t work out, frankly.
It was years and years before I found peace with this one and found a way to let her go. There had been magic, most certainly, but it was over, and it was my foolish insecurities that wanted it back. By the time I finally “grew up” years later and stopped being so insecure I realized that what we had had run its course, and I was okay with that.
Sadly, in the year that followed that deep impulse that things had to stop, I still called her, got together with her when I really shouldn’t have, obsessed over her in the worst way possible, and then was forced to reject her for the sake of another relationship. I made it messy. It was my fault it ended that way.
Fuck… I mean this is something I’ve never even put in a private journal. Having all of this in print… My hands feel a bit shaky.
And you know what’s weird? I feel like she’s reading this right now. Like that old magic will somehow bring her to this post, despite us not having had any contact literally for decades.
Hi “E”. I’m sorry I didn’t end things gracefully, sorry I called you, obsessed over you, and then left you in the end. I was at my absolute worst as a human being at the time. Please forgive me.
I hope you found love.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/64rxxc/9½_weeks_as_a_vampire_relationship_mf_long