(True story, but I’m going to describe each encounter in a satirical rich white gay kid tone)
So, I took my Vyvanse last night so I didn’t have to go to bed. Then I got on Grindr and saw a drug dealer who also wanted sex. I have a weed addiction, so I jumped at the idea.
Upon arriving, I walk in the discrete manner he told me to walk across his lawn, as his wife had access to the ring doorbell camera. I saw him at the door and said hi, kind of expecting to kiss. He didn’t kiss me, he just lead me inside, talked about the weed he sold me last week, and pulled his pants off.
Well, no foreplay, and darn, his penis was so flaccid, he told me it was 8 inches, but it didn’t really seem like it when he was flaccid. I just got to work sucking on it to get him hard. He barely said anything the whole time.
His dick was getting much bigger in my mouth, like holy shit big, and I realized he was a grower, not a shower. I have no idea how to deep throat, but I just kinda did it! Things come easy to me like that. It’s why I’m the best smash player in my region, fucking scrubs could never compare to me.
This guys dick was like Donkey Kong size dude. Wait, is it racist to compare a black man to Donkey Kong? My mind drifted while sucking his dick, and then I remembered what I was doing, and put his hand on my hair to tell him to control my head, and he did it.
God damn, I was so hard in my pants. He then asked me if I wanted to bottom, and I replied that I didn’t clean. He said that it didn’t matter, and tried to push into me with only my spit as lube. It did not work. As his fucking massive dick approached me. I felt inadequate in some primal way.
Is this why white bottoms like black guys? Is this the BBC meme? I thought to myself, before he pushed in one last time, and to my surprise it fucking slid in. Not gonna lie, it hurt a little. But soon I felt so fucking good. I’ve been trying to have an anal orgasm for months with my lelo Loki wave $200 dollar vibrator, but it never worked.
Soon, without even touching my dick, it started to uncontrollably twitch, hard as a rock, as I had a full body orgasm, which spurted a shit ton of cum onto his couch, like at least 20 ml. He wasn’t done, and fucked me for like another ten seconds before cumming inside of me. Holy shit.
I left the door with just a gram of weed as reward, and headed to my Toyota Camry to drive home. I put the weed in the glove compartment and got on the road. Butt felt as happy as a commie.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/nzd79c/mm_i_had_sex_with_a_drug_dealer_mostly_satirical