Your hotness

Your hotness, a visceral desire to please,

climbing wild strips, adorn your fine physique,

you pervade my mind, got me on my knees,

lively flame within, your gaze is what I seek.

Your hotness, an intense lustful mystique,

your pair of sultry lips, on a soft body

entangled in black roots, straight and then oblique,

be the sweetest fruit of the forbidden tree.

Satisfy my hunger, can’t you hear my plea?

Mouths wandering, leave signs on our cheeks;

Mark each other for everyone to see.

Satisfy my thirst, I’m struggling to speak,

fill my throat with your scent, reveal yourself to me;

in your presence I’m bare and I become weak.

*Breakdown and analysis in the comments.*

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ngesh6/your_hotness

1 comment

  1. # Breakdown and analysis of the “poem”.

    ​

    Well… Where do I start? Firstly, let me say that I am not a native english speaker and so I am totally aware that probably some phrases don’t sound perfectly natural, partially because of what I’ve just said and partially also because of a bit of poetic license that certainly does not hurt, but rather helps to follow (or at least try to follow) the rules of a poetic structure. This is isn’t an excuse but more of a thing I felt I needed to preface, so in case you notice something off now you know why.

    **STRUCTURE / FORM**

    Ok so this “thing” you have just read is (or at least should be) a sonnet, more specifically a “*Petrarchan / Italian Sonnet”*, and it’s divided in an octave and an answering sestet (both are dived in two parts). The italian sonnet is a bit stricter than the *Shakespearean Sonnet:* its structure is defined, speaking of rhymes, generally in this way: ABAB ABAB CDE CDE or some sort of variation.

    Here it’s where I said “you know what, f– it” and decided to mix the two structures a little bit: in fact it’s ABAB BCBC CBC BCB, (but I mean, in the end it’s just another variation). Speaking of syllables/stresses I just followed *not-that-strictly* the general length of a hendecasyllable but I counted them in the italian way even if this is in english. I told you at a certain point I gave up.

    **MEANINGS / POETIC DEVICES / OTHER STUFF**

    In this section I just want to tell you about the reasons behind some choices, and maybe even tell you my own interpretation:

    ​

    >*Your hotness, a visceral desire to please,*

    It’s my desire to please (you) or it’s yours? I decided to leave the choice to the reader by omitting the possessive pronoun, but in reality it’s a back and forth between the two lovers: your, (my).

    ​

    >*climbing wild strips, adorn your fine physique,*

    Just a metaphor between an harness and a strong, stable, rampant plant.

    ​

    >*you pervade my mind, got me on my knees,*

    Pretty self explanatory: the lover is in a position of light submission, without any restraints.

    ​

    >*lively flame within, your gaze is what I seek.*

    Here the comma plays an important role, it’s intended to be used just as a pause but can also separate the two pharses: is the flame in your eyes what I seek or the flame is just burning inside of me and I am looking for your eyes?

    ​

    >*Your hotness, an intense lustful mystique,*

    Mystique intended as a her charm/allure.

    ​

    >*your pair of sultry lips, on a body*

    Yes, ok, but *which* pair of lips?

    ​

    >*entangled in black roots, straight and then oblique,*
    >
    >*be the sweetest fruit of the forbidden tree.*

    Here there’s again the metaphor between the harness and the climbing plant that embellish and cage her body. The image of sin emphasize the idea of a wrong, lust-filled passion: pure raw energy.

    ​

    >*Satisfy my hunger, can’t you hear my plea?*
    >
    >*Mouths wandering, leave signs on our cheeks;*
    >
    >*Mark each other for everyone to see.*

    A strong craving of the other, giving pleasure in an almost selfish way: lovers starved of intimacy, love, contact. *Don’t we all crave all of these thing in this period after all?*

    ​

    >*Satisfy my thirst, I’m struggling to speak,*

    One of the reasons behind all the word omissions in the poem: he’s thirsty, his mouth is now dry and above everything else, passion and desire took over him.

    ​

    >*fill my throat with your scent, reveal yourself to me;*

    Another plea for her to open up and accept his loving mouth.

    ​

    >*in your presence I’m bare and I become weak.*

    He finally got rid of everything: his soul is now on display. Sweet vulnerability.

Comments are closed.