Not sure if this belongs in the TIFU section haha!
TIFU by posting an ad on Craigslist and paying a fat girl $150 to blow me on camera. I lasted 30 seconds, tops.
I should backtrack. I live in the downtown of a major city, am 30 years old employed with a good job. Once in a while I get a handy from one of the dozens of massage parlors in my city, but nothing beyond that.
This past weekend I was feeling especially risky so I decided to post an ad looking for a woman who wants to make a quick buck. Posted it yesterday morning and got 3 responses off the bat. Decided to go with the one who seemed the most legit…she sent over four pictures, all clothed, and it’s clear this girl was not a looker. 34, probably 20 pounds overweight, and just generally weird. We exchanged details over email and decided upon today.
Fast forward to this afternoon when she’s over. I decide to attempt to film a Backroom casting couch-type interview where I’m asking her questions but it’s just so awkward. She takes off her shirt and pulls down my pants. Puts her mouth around my cock and within 10 seconds I feel the twitches of an impending orgasm.
I try and sit down and have her switch positions but by then it was too late, I was coming mountains. It started off with a pathetic dribble but as soon as her mouth was back on I was spurting everywhere. She quickly sucked and got it all but was a far cry for the porno I had hoped to film. We sat around chit-chatting for another 10 minutes as I tried to get hard for a round 2. We tried again but after about one minute it was painfully clear that I was one and done for the day.
She put on her clothes, I paid her and she was on her way. After she left, I looked at the video, which was 4 minutes in length: 3 minutes interview, 30 seconds blowjob, 30 seconds awkward talking.
tl;dr: had a girl on craigslist give me a bj on camera, jizzed in 30 seconds. next time, jack off first.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/36p07w/met_a_fat_chick_thru_cl_casual_encounters_and
Just a tip: they don’t put fat blobs on the casting couch, unless that’s your thing, and you way overpaid for a blowy. Oh, and you might want to check for sores on your johnson in a few weeks. But, anyway, I’m guessing you’re not the discriminating type.
thanks for the advice 1assman!
Jesus fuck, $150 for a blowjob? FROM AN OVERWEIGHT 34-YEAR OLD WOMAN! Good God man, she should be paying you for the privilege.
You forgot to post the link to the video. Innocent mistake. Awaiting update :D
Oh my god, this story is so depressing and kind of embarrassing. It’s not that I haven’t had my own bad times with unattractive women, but I’d never tell those stories. This story needs a new subreddit, r/lamegonewildstories or r/gonefuglystories.
Write a script next time