So it’s been awhile but I figured I’d post another update. S and I have sort of become unspoken FWB the past few weeks. Nothing serious or as sexually adventurous as the first two times (unless you consider the fact that casually hooking up with another girl is pretty adventurous for me).
Anyways this past weekend was when everybody was getting back to campus and of course it resulted in several parties over the past few days. I was really excited to have all of my friends back in one place and to hang out before the semester started. We were at a party at the same house that S and I had to run our first naked mile at together. It was fairly low key (cause of the pandemic you know) but people were still excited to be back and see everyone.
Like I said S and I have an unspoken thing, but not anything close to kind of official. So idk why but I, while drunk, got really jealous of her when she went home with some frat guy I’d never met. So much so that I decided that I needed to hook up with someone that night…
It ended up being one of the guys who’s house it is who I’ve hooked up with before (the same guy I hooked up with the night of that first naked mile). Now up until S that hook up had been the best sex I’d ever had (and I guess still is the best sex I’ve had with a dude) and I remember asking myself if it had been good because of the guy or because of how turned on I had been because of the events leading up to it… the answer is the events not the guy. He was super average at best this time and honestly I didn’t stop thinking about how at the very least S was also out there doing the exact same thing as me.
Turns out though she wasn’t. While she had every intention of hooking up with her guy he had been to drunk to really perform. So now even though I have no reason to feel guilty I do. I also feel really dirty and frankly whorish for just sleeping with some guy because I was drunk and jealous.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/l1pipt/f21_hookup_to_start_the_semester_feels_like
You don’t have an official thing with S. Even if you were fwb, that isn’t an exclusive relationship. There’s plenty of mediocre sex to be had in college with guys you don’t care about.
There’s no need to feel guilty here basically. I know it’s not easy to turn that feeling off. You slept with one guy to make yourself feel better, and there’s nothing whorish about that. It’s very human.
You should probably have a conversation with S going forward because your jealousy and guilt indicates rather strong feelings towards her. Maybe it’s best to make something official after all.