A Family Christmas – Masturbating [F] While My Sleeping Brother [M] Spoons Me

It has been three years since I last seen my brother and accidentally allowed him to see a embarrassing and graphic set of my nudes. They had been taken right before my vacation and I handed him my phone so he could scroll through and see my vacation photos. He took ages to go through them, but I didn’t know why until weeks later when I rediscovered the images in my gallery. It was mortifying. I was certain he had seen the photos. What’s worse is he may have taken the time to send the photos to himself then delete the evidence before handing back the phone. That hadn’t occurred to me until literally years later when I posted the story on reddit. Thanks redditors for your insights.

My feelings on this have changed dramatically from mortified, to denial that he ever seen anything, to certainty that he seen and curiosity. If he seen why did he never say anything? Did he think it was weird and that’s why he never reached out to catch up after all the years? Finally, again because of reddit, I had been forced to wonder whether he masturbates to the memory. At first the thought really weirded me out, but it had festered in my head so long and I realised that I wanted to know if he liked them. It’s sick, but I wanted his approval.

He arrived for the holidays on the 23rd after his quarantine. I had been really nervous about seeing him, but in the end it wasn’t weird at all and I was just really happy to see my big bro again. He seems to be in a good place in his life, and glad to spend time with me and the family. The night of the 23rd we all went out skating on a pond. It was so much fun. My Dad, Brother, and Sister are pretty talented hockey players, but me and my mom can barely skate. The entire time I had my big bro giving me pointers to no avail. I fell down a total of 11 time (My sister Taylor kept a tally) and I couldn’t learn to stop despite Connor’s (brother) best efforts. The last time Connor was home Taylor was just 16 and they didn’t have much to talk about, but this time they really hit it off. Their favorite activity so far has been teasing me. It’s funny, because of the age gap there has never really been any teasing in our family. Connor is 8 years older than me and I am 6 years older than Taylor.

On Christmas Eve we had a nice supper with extended family and then the three of us went back home and got drunk together for the first time. It was such a good night. Connor brought so much vodka with him and kept mixing drinks for me and Tay. He did the same with me three years prior which led to my slip up. Late into the night on Christmas Eve I got lost in thought while Tay and Connor were bantering about what the best dessert is. I was thinking back to the prior year and how warm I felt catching up with my big bro. I thought that Taylor was experiencing just what I had back then. At the same time, I noticed I was feeling a hint of jealousy towards Tay and interpreting their banter as flirting. Tay took every opportunity to sneak up behind him and cover his eyes, or to wrap her arms around his from behind to surprise him. Something I would do with a crush for sure. Plus, I noticed him putting his hand on her knee multiple times when they would laugh together. Combined with what seems like excessive eye contact, how close they sit together, and their teaming up on me, it seems like they have been flirting hard. As I type it out I am convincing myself even more.

I admit I have been competing for his attention a little. I mean, last time he was home I had his undivided attention and we really connected. Now he seemed more interested in talking with Tay. So, I have been doing the same things Tay was doing, wrapping my arms around him often and being overly affectionate for a sister. All this has just made me think further about whether he views us as sexual beings at all, or just sisters. And why in the world do I care so much? And if he does look at us that way then does he get excited when we hug him and touch him? It wasn’t until Christmas day that I finally got an opportunity to be with him alone. Tay was baking with Mom and Connor asked if me or Dad wanted to come along for a liquor store trip. I jumped at the chance and could visibly see Tay’s disappointment that she would be left out of the trip (the liquor store is kinda far btw. Maybe 30 minutes drive). But get this… about 10 minutes into the drive Tay calls him. He put her on speaker phone and she talks to us (mostly Connor) for the full fucking ride. I was fuming. In the store and on the way back I kind of gave him the silent treatment. It was just frustrating that I couldn’t get a tiny bit of alone time with my brother. I was mad at both of them and when I got home I sulked in my old room for about 3 hours before I finally started to see how pathetic I was being. But before I rejoined the family, Connor came knocking at my door to ask if everything was alright. He came in and closed the door, said I wasn’t acting like myself (He wasn’t wrong). I apologized for worrying him and said everything was great. I gave him a warm hug and told him I had really been looking forward to catching up with him after all this time and I was so glad he was home. Then we finally got the one-on-one time I had wanted. He told me about the messy business between him and his ex wife over these last few years and that he is finally in a place where he is happy again and looking for the right woman to settle with and start a family. He said he wants a big family (4+ kids). I was definitely surprised to hear that from him. He never seemed like the family type growing up, but I guess he has changed a lot. After that we got into my love life, or lack thereof. I put my head on his lap and kinda spilt my guts about all my shortcomings and insecurities. He was so attentive and such a warm voice. Then I just let it out, and said “Why does it seem like you like Tay more than me?” This clearly threw him off balance and after quick pause he expressed that he loves us both and just hasn’t had time to connect with her before now, just like me 3 years ago. I felt really dumb for asking the question, but I still got the feeling like he wasn’t being very honest about his answer. Either way I just left it at that and gave him another big hug to thank him for listening. He’s really a sweet guy.

On Christmas night we proceeded to get hammered, this time even our parents were drunk. It definitely brought us all closer together. My family is so silly. There were stories, and dancing, and we watched some Christmas movies. During ‘A Christmas Story’ Tay and Connor shared a blanket on the couch. I could feel the jealousy burning again, and even a pit of anxiety. I started thinking about the photos that he had seen the year before and decided I really had to know if he had seen them. It was all I could think of. Eventually Mom and Dad went to sleep and Connor kept the drinks flowing. Tay was sitting so close with him that she was basically on his lap, and I’m ashamed to say it, but I did the same on his other side to make sure I wasn’t out done. Connor kept sharing embarrassing stories about me when I was young and I told my fair share about Tay. It was all in good fun. We ended up cuddling together, Connor with an arm around each of us, and Tay fell asleep. Then Connor and I decided it was time for bed at about 3am. Before I lay down I waited, listening for Connor. When I heard him leave the washroom I stealthily called him to my room for another one-on-one. By this point I was beyond drunk, but still knew what I wanted, to find out what really happened last year. I asked him vaguely first, ‘what did you think about catching up with me last year’. He just said he loved it and told me it was a strange question. Then I probed him, ‘What did you think of my vacation though?’ That caused him to pause momentarily and then I seen the look on his face that told me he knew what I meant. So, I said point blank, ‘it was an accident and I’m so sorry if it made everything weird’. Tears were rolling down my face now and I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing. I told him I didn’t want him to feel weird around me or treat me different because of it and that I was afraid of losing my brother over that for years. He didn’t pretend any longer like he didn’t know. He consoled me and kept saying how it was really no big deal. He said he was shocked to see them, but that he didn’t ever think less of me for it. He hugged me and stroked my hair and I didn’t sob for long before I started to feel at peace in his arms. I then apologized again for putting him through my bullshit all day and being a needy mess, but he kept telling me how much fun I had made this holiday for him. He was really sweet about it. Then I asked him if he had seen all the photos and he hesitated badly. I interrupted to tell him that it’s okay and I laughed it off. “It really doesn’t matter” I said, it’s done. There was a long pause, and I gathered courage to ask him what I really wanted to know, whether he like the pictures. His response was negative at first. He acted like the question was absurd for a moment and my heart started ripping, but then he broke down and told me that he did scroll through them all multiple times and was kind of in a state of disbelief at what he was looking at. He said before that moment he only ever thought of me as his little sister, but that forced him to see me as a woman. Apparently, I seemed so aloof at the time that he felt no rush and just took his time going through the photos. He told me he thought of it frequently the whole three years that he was away, but insisted that it doesn’t change his feelings for me as his friend and sister. I told him everything I went through to come to terms with it and that I ended up just really wanting to know whether he liked them. The more we talked about it, the more he admitted that he did get excited and even hinted that he masturbated to the thought.

Now the conversation ended there, but I think we crossed a boundary that we shouldn’t have afterwards. The last hour had been so emotional and I was still drunk and exhausted. I begged him to stay and sleep with me so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I slept in shorts and a tank top and he slept in boxers and a t-shirt. When I woke up he was spooning me and had an arm over me. I realised that I had lost my bra at tsome point in the night, but couldn’t remember it happening. I knew it would be best if I could get out of bed without waking him, but as soon as I attempted to lift his arm he woke up. He was very groggy and I apologized and said I was going. He said “shhh, it’s okay” and pulled me right back into him. I didn’t resist. After a couple minutes I was hyper-aware of a bulge between his legs pressing into my ass and that lit a fire in me that honestly scares me to think about. It felt like his hardon was pressed against me forever while I was too afraid to move and cause potential embarrassment. Eventually it did fade and I wondered if he was asleep and if I should try to get up. I was being tortured by my own body and mind laying there with him. I should mention that I haven’t had sex in 2020. It’s been a rough year and this probably contributed to the desire I was feeling. Instead of getting up I rocked my hips a couple of times and pressed my ass into his crotch, curious about how he would react. He didn’t respond at all, but his hardon sprang back up in full force. I still had no idea if he was asleep. He wasn’t moving. So I did it again, subtly rocking my hips, and his cock twitched this time and his bulge pressed into me. It took all my will power to not touch it, I was just so turned on. Either way, I’m not proud of it, but I slipped my hand under my panties to play with my clit and hopefully relieve some tension. I was unreasonably wet at this point and it was difficult to keep myself quiet and still. Whenever I noticed his erection was fading, I would rock my hips and it would come back as strong as ever. Having that kind of control of him was amazing. I felt an orgasm building fairly quickly, but I couldn’t get there without moving too much and I was terrified of waking my brother. So I lay there torturing myself for what felt like eternity. Soon I was biting down on my pillow to keep myself quiet. Eventually, before I could cum, I heard Tay run upstairs and knock on my door for breakfast. It woke up Connor and sent me into a panic. I called out that I would be right down. Then I heard her knock on Connor’s door announcing breakfast, but this time getting no response. She tried a second time and gave up.

I apologized again to Connor for bugging him and making him sleep with me and he told me it was no big deal at all and kissed me on the forehead before slipping out. I was able to catch a good glimpse of his erection underneath his boxers while he gathered his clothes. He looked as big as he felt pressed against my ass. I also noticed a pretty large damp spot that must have been precum. When he left I immediately spread out and buried two fingers into my pussy. I rubbed my clit with my other hand and brought myself to an intense orgasm within seconds. Afterwards I lay in bed and waves of guilt began to wash over me. For being jealous of Tay, for coaxing Connor into my bed, and most of all for touching myself while his erect cock strained against my ass. My brother is still here and leaves on the 30th. Ever since we had that night together I have given him his space and Tay has been all over him. I keep thinking of sleeping with him and what might have happened if I had tried to kiss him, or more. I don’t want to ruin things with Connor, but I also don’t want Tay to get to him. More advice would be nice :/

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/klqdvj/a_family_christmas_masturbating_f_while_my