Not ready

I desperately want this man. Whether it be friends, enemies, lovers, whatever- I just want him. Every day I’m either thinking about getting fucked by him or just letting him lay in between my legs. It’s become a daily thing to just zone out and think about him, think about how different everything could be if I spoke up.

But alright, so what he doesn’t want me. That’s cool too… I guess. “Hey.” A familiar voice snaps me out of my internal rant. I look up and there he is. Standing right in front of me with a grin plastered on his face.

I smile back slightly and I say hi right back. “Hey Danny…” I grab my bag and we walk out of the building. As we walk back to my apartment, I can’t help but notice such an awkward or tense vibe surrounding us. I don’t like it.

I open the door to my apartment and I walk in dropping my stuff on the floor. I watch as he walks in and I just look around awkwardly. When he drops his bag on the floor I watch him do a double-take and he looks at me. “What’s wrong?” I refuse to make eye contact with him and I just look at my hands. “I um- did you think about what I said last night?”

He takes a deep breath in and he slowly lets it go as he walks towards me. He stands in front of me. He grabs my hands and he looks down at them. “Listen, I’m not in the best position right now- emotionally.”

I already feel my heart just slowly dropping to the floor and getting stomped on. “I mean I would love to take you on a date, and go down that whole road with you but it’s not right. I was hurt bad and I can’t take the chance to get my heart broken again.”

I look up at him and I just nod my head slowly. “No, I get it, I completely understand.” I start to pull my hands out of his to walk away but he grabs me. “Hey, please don’t be mad. You have to understand-“I put my hand up and I stop him. “No, Danny, stop, I understand. You don’t need to explain anything. I promise you, it’s okay..”

I snatch my hand from him and I walk into the kitchen. I open the fridge and I look for something, just anything to honestly stop my mind from racing a mile a minute. I hear his footsteps come up behind me and he puts his hand on my shoulder. But I just move away from him. “Let me-“

I turn around and I raise my voice a little hoping he’ll get the fucking point. “Jesus.. for someone that doesn’t want to be in a relationship you’re trying really hard to convince me why not. Sure you’re not trying to convince yourself?” I walk away and start to head for my room. Before I could get to close the door, he pushes past me and blocks me from walking in. “Oh come on, what the fuck is going on right now.” I rub my forehead and I close my eyes trying to understand
what’s happening.

Did I miss something? Did I say ‘I understand’ in fucking Russian? I- what is wrong with him?

He walks up to me and I back up, eventually until my back hits a wall. He puts both his hands on the sides of my head and he just stares down at me. “I um, I really don’t know how to say this.”

I feel my leg start to shake in annoyance and I just say “what is it. What’s going on with you?” He inhales deeply and looks up at the ceiling. “I-“ He clears his throat and he brings his head back down at me. He softly leans his forehead against mine. We both look up at each other and he brings one hand to my face. His thumb runs over my cheek and he begins to open his mouth. “I want to say yes so bad, you don’t understand.”

My brain can’t compute all these feelings. I- this is too much. Shit. “I know if i say yes, it won’t be good for anyone. It would just only be an excuse for me not to deal with problems. I want to, trust me.” Now my heart starts racing and I feel my breathing speed up. Shit, shit. “I-“ my voice cracks so I clear my throat. I can’t do this oh my god. “I um- Danny..”

He moves his body closer to mine and his lips are dangerously close to mine now. “Give me a reason… just give me one reason why i should do this with you.” I look up at him and he’s breathing so heavy. “Just one. Please.” I try to wrack my brain for an answer and i can’t even fucking come up with one. Just my fucking luck. “I um i could… you should… fuck Danny- i don’t have one.” I reach my hand up to his face and I rub his bottom lip. My eyes roam over his face and I hope what I’m about to say is okay. “Tell me what i can do. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I- just let me help, please?” My hand falls to his shirt and I slightly grip it pulling him towards me. His arms wrap around my thighs and he picks me up.

“I don’t know.. i don’t know baby, i don’t.” His face moves closer to mine and my eyes stay locked on his lips. “Well let’s figure it out okay? Let me help you, please?” He licks his lips and he nods his head “okay.”

His lips softly touch mine and I hear him hum in content. My hand snakes its way through his hair and I pull softly. He keeps kissing me as I feel his hands move lower to my waist band. “This okay? Please tell me if it’s not.” I nod my head and I whisper back “it’s okay, keep going. I’ll tell you if it’s not.” He nods his head and his hand slips past the waistband of my pants and he whimpers out when he dips his finger inside me. “Oh fuck..” my head snaps back and hits the wall. I groan out when he pushes in one finger. “Shit.. such a wet cunt princess. So wet for me.” My stomach jumps at his words and I cry out when his fingers start moving faster and faster and faster.

My head drops down onto his shoulder as I feel the knot in my stomach begin to unravel. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck… I’m about to cum Danny I’m-“ he fingers fuck into me faster as he starts to whisper in my ear. “Cum on my fingers baby, make a mess for me and cum all over them. Come on give it to me baby, i want it so bad, please? Cum for daddy baby girl?” His words literally send me over the edge and I feel my thighs start to quiver and it spreads to the rest of my body. “Yeah that’s a good girl, cum all over them baby, come on.” He pulls his fingers out and I watch as he puts them in his mouth. He pushes them in his mouth as he licks and sucks my juices off of his fingers.

“Mmm so fucking good. So fucking sweet princess.” He drops my legs and I drop back down to the floor. “Turn around.” He grabs my hips and he turns me around. My face against the wall now. I feel one hand behind me moving around and my sweats get pulled down more. His hand roams over my ass and he grips it. “Gonna let me fuck you pretty girl?” I cry out at his words. “Answer me baby, can i fuck you? please?”

“Y-yes, please.. fuck me.” I feel his tip at my entrance and he slowly starts to push in. I cry out at the feeling as he pushes my face into the wall slightly. “Shit you feel so good wrapped around my cock baby girl. Mhm… who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl letting me fuck you like this?” He starts to fuck me faster and pulls my head back. He grabs me by my throat and he pulls me back so we’re flushed against each other.

I turn my head to the side and I see the window and my eyes widen. Shit i hope people can’t see us. I try to say something to him but i don’t think he can even understand. “D-Danny.. i- the window, the-“ he grips onto my throat faster and he fucks into me harder. “You want to get fucked in front of the window?” Before I could even answer we ended up at the window and my face was being pushed into it. I look outside and I can see people walking in the street, cars driving, and then I look up and there’s a building directly across from us.

A guy standing in his apartment makes eye contact with and our eyes lock. I hear Danny grunt behind me and he pulls my hair harshly. “You like that? You like to get fucked and have people watch you? You-“ his words stop abruptly and i pray to god he doesn’t see the guy looking at us fucking.

He looks familiar. Where do i know him from?

“I- is he watching us?” I cry out when I feel him slap my ass as he pushes into me harder. “Y-yes, f-for the last few minutes.”

“And you what? You stared at him while I fucked you? You moaned out my name while looking at him?” Now he puts one hand on my throat and the other wrapped around my ponytail and he says to me. “Wanna act like a whore? Best believe you’ll get fucked like one. Stare at him while you cum. Scream my name and stare at him while you cum. Come one baby, let it go for me.” He drops his hand from my hair and brings it my clit and he starts rubbing quickly. I feel my orgasm start to approach and i feel my knees buckle as Danny keeps fucking me. “God you’re squeezing my cock so hard baby, shit i-I’m gonna cum baby, oh fuck.. fuck-“ he slams into me one last time before he squeezes my throat as he cums. His body shakes and I look at the guy across from us as he’s still watching.

Danny whimpers and moans in my ear and I hear him say “you wanna fuck him? Cum around him like you just did on me-” I was about to say no but then the guy across from us started to unzip his jeans. I hear Danny’s breaths get quicker as he watches him and mine starts to race as well. We both watch him as he pulls his cock out and he starts moving his hand. “Is he…” I just nod my head, completely at a loss for words. “Shit… i-“ i hear Danny say and just moves closer to me. We both watch as his body shakes and shudders as he cums all over his hand and I can’t help but start to fidget and squeeze my thighs together. His body doubles over as he cums all over himself. I don’t think I could ever unsee that. And I don’t think Danny could either because that was our friend that just watched us. That was our friend that we just watched cum all over himself.

What the fuck?

“Please tell me you’re gonna go over there and say something to him.” But before he could even answer there was a knock at our door and I already knew who it was.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/kepjm6/not_ready