CRACK!! Sound of thunder in the distance rolls through the valley.. I stop and look around observing the woods.. the leaves are mostly fallen and through eye sight all that remains is the skeletons of trees once full and green now just bark and creaking wood as the wind howls through them.. I can see the leaves kicked up by my preys feet.. the trail running through the woods winding around trees and fallen limbs.. I stand up from kneeling my leather coat falls down my back as I stand the tails of the coat hanging level with my calfs it gives way to my black pants and dark leather boots.. my black shirt blows slightly in the wind due to it being mostly open and I grin I am getting close to my prey I can feel it……. I follow the trail running but minding my footing as to be silent like owl catches a mouse I too will come with out warning.. after what seems like miles of running through the valleys up the hills and around all the obstacles I see a rather large bush, perhaps a rose bush that has become barren from the cooler weather, and beside it a small spring that trails off into a creek as the excess flows over the banks.. I think ahh fresh water and as I step the clouds part ways and the full moon light pierced through the dead trees to that spot and I stop.. my eyes widen and my breath slows for I have found my prey.. there you are kneeling next to the water scooping some up in your right hand and bringing it too your mouth.. your skin is pale in the moon light and your pants and shirt have been ripped from your run through the woods.. the black leather collar still around your neck with 4 chain links still swaying from it.. I then notice something else something I didn’t not intend to see.. I see the hole in the back of your pants exposing just a sliver of your ass and my eyes wander from your shirt ripping your right breast is no longer concealed and that soft pale skin bounces with the slightest movement the cool air as made your nipple hard… i feel my heart rate quicken I shake my head I am a hunter and you are my prey I must keep my composure.. at that exact moment you stand slowly your legs and back are sore from the run and as you do small drops of water drip off your face and trace down your exposed breast.. instinctively I lick my lips.. then think no she is my prey! I must focus!.. you turn looking around you and then I see the other side of you your left leg from thigh down is fully exposed ughh the moon light traces down your pail smooth legs and my body reacts.. I can feel the bulge growing in my pants… I feel my heart racing and my lungs taking in more air and now my body is so hot as I breath out fog comes from my mouth.. my dark hazel eyes flash in the moon light as in my mind you are my prey but for a different reason I must have you.. I must taste you.. I must pump my seed into you…… I can tell from what you are doing you can’t see me and so I sneak up just around the other side of the bush.. I have my bolo ready in hand.. ughhh I can feel my cock pulse in anticipation for you to make your move….. you look around again and begin to walk slowly and just as you come into my line of sight you hear a whirling sound you immediately look in my direction and it takes you a spilt second to see me and you turn and run.. you make it 3 or 4 steps and you hear the whirling nose quickly coming behind you and then the bolo wraps around your legs.. you fall down to the ground crunching the crisp leaves as you land.. you sit up and struggle with the bolo but it is too late I am standing above you and as your eyes follow my boots up my legs up to my crotch you notice the bulge and at that moment your eyes dart up to mine and you realize what is happening.. you realize that I am going to take you.. you screen out and it echoes through the valley but you have run for miles and no one is around to hear you.. I walk up to you and grab your chin and force you to look me in the eyes and you see them in the moon light.. my dark hazel eyes seem to glow and they seem to pass right through you and you notice they are odd shaped but that thought quickly passes your mind as you feel me put iron on your wrists you look over and see they are U shaped and while your wrist is in them I very easily push them into the ground holding your arms out in a T.. you struggle with them but they seem to weigh a ton…. with that you look back up at me I trace my finger down your neck and to your torn shirt.. you see me admire your exposed breast and then suddenly I rip your shirt open exposing you.. you see me lick my lips as I bend down and you realize what I am about to do.. you shake your head back and forth pulling at the irons and then you feel my tongue graze your nipple.. you struggle even more kicking your feet but I am kneeling over your legs and you notice how heavy I am.. as I began to suck your nipple reacts to my lips and my tongue.. you shake your head more as tears start running down your face begging for it to stop and I sit up.. I slip my coat off and toss it to the side and then slide my shirt off as well then the moon light hits my chest and you notice the definition of the muscles in my chest and the scars that seem to run the entire length of it…. I then grab the waist of your pants and in one motion rip them off exposing your legs your thighs and the object I truly desire.. oh your pussy looks delicious… you see me grin as I start to move down you again start shaking your head no as I push your legs apart, you try to hold them closed but it seems I have super human strength at this point.. i lean down inhaling your aroma.. your sent… my mouth is watering and you feel my tongue graze your lips.. you think whyyyy how can this be happening as you think back to breaking out of your cell determined to be free of your captors.. making a plan to break the chain to your collar and escaping to the border and to freedom.. then you feel my tongue run inside your lips and deep into your pussy.. it feels like my tongue is hitting your cervix as I lick and run my tongue in and out of your pussy and then you notice it.. you notice your heartbeat start to quicken and your nipples are hard and it’s not just from the air.. your pussy is beginning to get wet as you mentality fight with your own body not to enjoy it.. but after several more minutes of me licking and sucking on your clit you feel it building again your mentality trying to fight it but your body won’t listen as you begin to orgasm you bite your lip in pleasure and ohhh I’m loving it you feel me wrap my lips around your pussy drinking every last drop of your sweet nectar.. then suddenly I rise up and your juices stream off my face with the quick motion I spread my arms and hands out and look up… ughhh so good I say in a deep voice and I smile and look back at you as you lay there panting exhausted from such a large orgasm you notice my teeth seem off to you.. you don’t really have time to think as I stand up and kick off my boots and slide off my pants.. you would struggle but at this point your too exhausted to fight the irons.. you look down my chest past the v shape of my waste and watch as my pants clear the bulge and my hard cock springs up as they pass it.. you mouth gapes.. you look at it in aww it seems to be around 8 inches long and thick.. I then turn towards you and kneel down between your legs.. you feel me touch the head of my cock to your lips and as my face hovers over yours you beg me to stop saying you can’t take all that.. I grin as I push it in past your lips your pussy is so wet it slides in easily.. I begin thrusting my cock in and out of your pussy you feel it pounding inside you as it feels like it hits your stomach.. ugh as I get my rhythm you breasts bounce back and forth.. my hand reaches up and grabs to the chains to your collar and I pull your head up so you are looking dead into my eyes as I continue to pound my hard cock inside of you.. ughh your pussy is pulsating as orgasm after orgasm hit you and I can feel your pussy tighten gripping my cock you can’t take it anymore and yell yesssss more more harder!!!… I obliged and begin thrusting in and out so fast your breast are now slapping as they change direction.. my breathing deepens and I start marking subharmonic grunting you can tell that I am close you wrap your legs around my waist and beg me to cum in your wanting pussy I put my hand on your throat and push your head down as you feel my cock twitch and I shoot rope after rope of hot cum deep inside you.. it shoots out your pussy around my cock due to the amount and as the last twitch of my cock happens you look into my eyes and they are glowing hazel now and with one final push I throw my head back and howl long and hard it echoes through the valley and the noise hurts your ears it is so loud.. I stand up and all my muscles are tense and twitching and my fingers seem to grow longer.. then you connect the dots…. the heavy irons pushed into the ground with ease.. the weight of my body as you tried to push with your legs.. the look in my eyes that seemed so strange.. my odd teeth were fangs!.. the scars in my chest where from fighting my kind.. you knew in an instant who I was what I was.. he’s the alpha lichen you say under your breath.. you watch I horror as I transform fully into a beast of the night.. and your breath quivers as I fully transformed stand over you drool dripping from my fangs and I look you in the eyes.. you are frozen in fear as you return my gaze.. then all the sudden I stammer backward grabbing my head as I shed my fur and shrink transforming back into a man.. after several moments I get my bearings and look over at you then walk to you standing naked next to you breathing heavy.. you Stutter and say.. you your the the alpha lichen.. I walk up and grab the irons and pull them out with ease you rub your hands on each wrist and I say that isn’t the name I go by.. the name is Red..
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/jrgo5x/mf_nsfw_prey_semiforced_the_beast_and_his_thirst
I really tried to read it but I found it too difficult like ahh there is no distinction between different sentences other than the occasional double period
.. I’m not even sure what that means and there is not even one comma in this entire post I feel like I’m out of breath reading it even though not out loud I don’t understand how one can get exhausted from reading something like this but here we are I suppose that this entire one sentence comment can let you know how it feels to read your post anyway the writing seems ok from the start but like I said I could not finish due to the obvious lack of punctuation I sincerely hope that my point is coming through in this comment though do you see what I am trying to do
I agree with the previous post, paragraphs help break up the story. My pet peeve is using the wrong word, or the word screen is used instead of scream. Spell check is a good tool unless you correctly spelled the wrong word.
I was an assistant editor for a publishing company for many years. You have a solid start here, much more than most. I would suggest paying a proofreader to simply make it flow better. Add a little sentence structure, grammer check and filler lines to help it flow a little better and your golden.