[FM] A little story about freaking out a pizza delivery guy

I need to preface this with an apology: there’s not really any sex in this story so if you’re just looking for cock in pussy then you need to move on, sorry! If you like awkwardness and exhibitionism then this might be right for you.

So I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist. I love sex in sneaky public places, the first time a guy ate me out it was in front of my university’s library, and that little thrill of possibly getting caught drives me crazy, even more than the sex itself. Because of this I fantasize about getting caught naked. A lot. But we all know that sometimes you need something a little bit more real than a fantasy, so sometimes I have to take things into my own hands. The solution? The time honored tradition of ordering pizza and then answering the door naked. I’ve done this a few times, but I’m going to tell you about one of my favorites, which is coincidentally also the first time I did it.

The first time I did this I was absolutely ridiculously drunk. I’d had some friends over and we had all been doing some very responsible social drinking. Or at least they were, by the time they came over I had finished half a bottle of wine (and I’m a bit of a lightweight). Even worse, rather than drinking their own drinks (that I mixed for them) they had been passing them back to me over and over and I kept taking swigs thinking I was only having a little bit of their drinks. By the time they left I was barely able to stand, but damn was I hungry. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere on my own so I ordered some pizza (dominos if you’re curious). Another side effect of me drinking is that I get abnormally horny and it really doesn’t stop until I sober up (this has caused me trouble more than a few times before).

Put in my order, fortunately without having to call, and then my drunk brain had nothing left to do but think, and as we all know our drunk brains are not to be trusted. I was just in a large t-shirt and thong by this point, and my first thought was, “Damn I need to put clothes on :(“, but my second thought was, “nooooo, I need to take clothes off!” So I stripped down, almost fell over a few times just getting my underwear off, the whole time giggling about how freaked out the delivery guy was gonna be. This state of excitement didn’t last too long, and pretty soon I was basically shitting my nonexistant pants about how awkward this would be and decided I needed to immediately put clothes back on. I start scrambling around my apartment, mostly on hands and knees for safety, trying to figure out where I took off my clothes when I hear the knock on my door. I stand up and freeze, by this point equally excited and terrified by the idea of some stranger seeing me naked like this. I hear another knock and realize I need to decide. “Be right there!” I shout/squeak and tiptoe to the door. I grab the handle and take a deep breath, making the last minute decision to at least put a hand in front of my pussy.

I throw the door open, but there’s no immediate reaction. He’s looking down at the receipt and reads off my embarrassingly long list of toppings before looking up. I feel my face practically turn into a neon sign as his eyes move up and down my body. His jaw is moving, but he can’t quite seem to make sense of what’s just happened. I reach out with one hand and grab the box “yeah, that sounds right”. Before I can retreat he remembers to grab the receipt. “Umm, just need your, uh, your signature”. Now he’s hilariously trying to make eye contact, but his eyes obviously keep darting back to my naked tits with his hand kind of limply holding the receipt in front of me. I go to sign it and realize I’m still holding the pizza with one hand and covering my pussy with the other. I reluctantly maneuver the pizza box under the receipt and take my free hand away from my pussy to grab the pen. Keep in mind I’m still comically drunk and barely standing. I wobble a little and have to put my free hand on his shoulder to stay upright, awkwardly bringing my naked body right up against him for what felt like an hour. I mutter an apology and finish signing. His mixture of fear and surprise actually made me feel a little better, and right before I closed the door I turned around and blew him a kiss, sadly I didn’t wait to see his reaction. The rest of the night I spent on the bathroom floor, but hey, I had pizza waiting for me in the morning to help the hangover :P.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/5mikts/fm_a_little_story_about_freaking_out_a_pizza