You’re not going to find it.
I’ve taken all the stories down. Mods took a few down before I personally removed them as well, and I questioned their reasoning and I admit that I do wholeheartedly agree with them. I wrote the stories not really expecting to draw such a huge audience, and I wrote them mostly for myself. I’ve mentioned it briefly but I am a young woman (of age) myself and the stories were written in my mind with myself as the main female character. The descriptions of my first main female character were an exaggerated description of myself admittedly.
Some of the feedback I received on the stories that made light of the sexual abuse and talked about making it a reality really disturbed me, but I never did anything except respond angrily in a comment, when I should have taken a hard look at what my fantasy content was normalizing and taken it down. One comment mentioned that I should proceed with the story by her going to college and them still continuing what they were doing, which really disturbed me because it brought an air of realism to the stories that wasn’t ending in consequence. It was just continuing the abuse. I’m okay with sharing this at this point, but when I was a teenager I had a man in his thirties groom me and sleep with me. I still don’t fully understand it, but I do think that experience is where my fantasies stem from, and they aren’t healthy, and I’m revisiting therapy to try to figure out why I lean into the thought of my vulnerable self being sexually abused by older men.
I know that might be TMI, but I think it’s important to explain the implications of the normalization of those thoughts, and while having a teacher/student fantasy might be common, I think we should ALL take a long hard look at ourselves and ask ourselves why.
So I know that a lot of you enjoyed the stories, but I think it was the responsible thing to do to take them down. Having had a predator cause me my own trauma, I don’t want to be normalizing the perpetuation of that because of some unhealthy fantasy I have for myself that I chose to share.
I hope you all understand and I hope everyone is on the same page here. If you have fantasies like teacher/student, stepdad/stepdaughter ect, please find another CONSENTING **ADULT** to act them out with you. And please don’t prey on vulnerable adults either.
Thanks for all the support y’all have given me this past year. But I also want to thank the people who called out the content for romanticizing something disturbing and abusive. Because whether my readers like to confront that reality or not, the fact was that taken literally, it was 100% disturbing and abusive. Realizing that has helped me realize I probably need to go back to therapy to address what happened to me when I was a kid. So, seriously, I thank everyone who called it out. You guys gave me the perspective that I really needed.
At this time, I won’t be writing anymore erotic lit. In a few days, I’ll delete this account as it’s no use to me now. I hope we all move forward from this and stand out against p*dophilia, against sexual abuse, against grooming, against r*pe. Your twisted sexual pleasure is not more important than the happiness and mental wellbeing of others. Go donate in my favor to organizations like Polaris Project, FAIR Girls, UNICEF.
In addition to this, I think we should also all look at why the top stories on this subreddit consistently have sexually abusive themes. Maybe we all have to do some soul searching.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/hr6wm4/if_youre_looking_for_satiated
I totally respect and support that decision. The truth is that it’s not uncommon for feelings of kink to stem from trauma as a way for the brain to make sense of, cope with it, etc. And it is always very important to incorporate consent into fictional portrayal of “play” (as opposed to fictional portrayals of traumatic events for dramatic purpose), and to include trigger warnings. I think you make a good point regarding normalization (and I would add, by extension, desensitization). These can be complex, and we need to be as responsible as possible in exploring these spaces.
I wish you the best in your continued recovery. I hope that if it meets your needs, you return perhaps to write SFW pieces in one of the subreddits. It would be good to have someone with your perspective involved in the relationship fiction community. But that may not be right for you in the future. Best of luck to you.
*”In addition to this, I think we should also all look at why the top stories on this subreddit consistently have sexually abusive themes.”*
I have noticed that as well.
For one thing, I think there is a vast difference between erotic literature and pornography. Most people seeking reading material in this sub are looking for the latter, not the former. They are looking for things to add to their reading spank bank.
For another thing, I think that to a certain extent the anonymity of the Internet has emboldened people to say the unkind or rough things that crop up in their minds. The Internet is not a physical place, so why should they mind their manners? Banning the worst might get their attention, but I don’t think it will influence others’ behavior much.
As a side note to that, people tend to escalate. If one person says something inappropriate, another often replies with something worse.
I am very aware when I post my fiction here that it does not conform to the type of abuse porn also posted here. I take a long breath and think, “Let’s see how this goes…”
Good luck to you, OP. I am very sorry for the trauma you have experienced. The people who are searching out abuse porn are not thinking about the actual effects of that kind of experience. They are not thinking of the years spent in healing, the various opportunities not accepted because of the toll the abuse took. They don’t see the crippling effects – they are just convinced that abuse is sexy. Look at all those men in videos slapping women. That must be sexy, right? Women want that, right?
There are some incredibly dark things here in Reddit-land, things I don’t want to remember I have seen.
But rather than dwell on that, I will say this: I applaud you for doing what you believe in. I encourage you to keep doing what you believe in. The world needs more of that. I also wish you good luck and good healing.
I never read your stories and I only am on this sub for inspiration to write to my own Girlfriend but I admire you’re sense of responsibility and strength to come forward say what you need to say and leave it all out in the floor. All the power to you for recovering and growing.
Good luck! Your writing was really good, content aside. Perhaps you can use your skills elsewhere sometime.
If your story were based on real event in your life, and you’ve realized what happened, that is good to know.
Also, if these story made you realized that, I hope that you’ll be able to help other children getting away from that. Sometime, reading your stories, does make me reflect on my actions and I try to do my best to avoid that situations, as I want them to have a brighter futures than being manipulated by someone and I wish I knew more so I can help break that if possible.
EDIT: I hope the mods keep this up and continues to take them down in hope to prevent these from happening or from inspiring others.
While I didn’t get a chance to read your stories, I completely respect this, and very proud of any female taking control like this. You are amazing!
I’ll admit I really enjoyed your stories, but I respect your choice and I think I’ll have to reflect on why I’m drawn to certain kinks. Thanks for sharing your work while you did, and good luck on your journey.
I’m proud of you for opening up about this. I am sure it wasn’t easy. I hope you are able to continue your recovery as well. And remember, it wasn’t your fault!
I enjoyed your story. I started reading it trying to find inspiration for some smut scenes in my own writings. But mostly enjoyed the overall storyline and character development. We talked a little in private about how it could possibly end and now I’m thinking that particular ending could have helped lead you to where you are now? Who knows.
But I do want you to know that you’re a very talented writer, so even if you come back and write/post fan fictions or other original works (on reddit or a place like AO3), I know you’ll find eager readers.
Best of luck to you!
When reading your stories I never focused on the student/teacher thing. That aside, they were amazing stories and incredible writing!
Props to you for doing this and for seeking help if you feel that you need it. Much love
I want to hug you for this.
It’s common for kids who’ve experienced trauma to act out the traumatic event while playing, and I often wonder if it’s the same as we get older leading into these types of kinks.
I tend to gravitate towards these stories too, and I can definitely make a connection to past events in my life. Sometimes to the point of reading stories that I know will trigger my PTSD. I know I need to do some soul searching.
We all need some more wholesome, unproblematic content. And maybe some therapy.
I know I’m a random stranger, but I’m proud of you. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Your writing is brilliant, and I hope you continue to write. You’re so talented. Best of luck to you!
God yes. Look stunning