Well my dog chewed my vibrator…. again.

This literally sounds like the most X-rated excuse why I didn’t finish my homework.

We honestly live and die by our pets, but right now I may actually die because of my pet. My lovely little German Shepard pup is growing like a weed and decided that ‘Leonardo’ (yeah it’s got a name, I’m not a damn savage) resembled a plastic pink bone…. and well, now I’m on my own this evening for pleasure.

So might as well reach out into the Redditverse for help in scratching this proverbial ‘itch.’ If you’ve got a pen for hire and a kink for satisfying needy bitches, then I might be for you tonight. My favorite thing is to cruise through the Literoricas of the world and find a fantasy that I can sink my teeth into….. much like Daisy did to poor Leonardo. I love richly painted tapestries of gorgeous settings and the beautiful people who populate it, with just enough realism to make it feel not so much like porn.

And now that man’s best friend has destroyed woman’s best friend, I’m seeking a talented wordsmith to show me some affection through some eloquent wording and tender work. If you’re that pen than fire me a message, paint me a vivid picture of the most beautiful place on earth for you and give me a glimpse into your ability to describe, the larger the better… and let’s make friends.

I’ll be browsing online in the ‘toy’ section in the meantime…. and no not the Woody kind of toy. Although BUZZ LIGHTYEAR does sound like an amazing name for a vibrator.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/hfwhu4/well_my_dog_chewed_my_vibrator_again