[FM] I [20F] got drunk while home from college and gave my little brother’s best friend [18M] his first blow job

Although I frequently post stories, I rarely discuss my immediate family. This is mainly because I have no interest in discussing them in an erotica subreddit (sorry, r/wincest), but also because they aren’t relevant to the stories I post. This is an exception.

My younger brother, Adam, and I are close again now, but we went months without speaking after a fight over Adam’s best friend, Samuel. All throughout middle and high school, Adam and Samuel had the kind of friendship where they had the garage codes to each other’s houses and were practically adopted by both sets of parents. While we were in high school together, I suspected they might have formed a covert sexual relationship like the one I had with my then-best friend [Jillian](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/h02q7i/fm_fucked_my_21f_exs_22f_uncle_40s_m_at_her/), but Adam confessed one day that neither of them had their first kiss. Shortly after, Adam began his still thriving career as a serial monogamist, and I assumed that Samuel gained some experience with Adam’s girlfriends’ friends.

It was obvious that Samuel had a thing for me. Girls at that age tend to know when younger boys are into them, primarily because the boys have absolutely zero self control when it comes to checking them out. There were only so many times Samuel could “accidentally” be right outside as I came out of the shower. He never crossed any lines, and I was on the lookout for it, and it was clearly a kind of puppy love. I found him irritating but sweet — the kind of kid you’d be happy for your little sister to date. But my little sister was similarly disinterested.

Adam hated how much Samuel followed me around, and he would beg me to tell Samuel to fuck off. But I didn’t want to ruin the guy’s self esteem, and he was harmless, so I politely but firmly maintained boundaries. I never touched him, I never smiled at him or laughed at his jokes for more than a second, and I made sure to always wear a bra under my shirt and cover my shoulders when he was around. Adam still felt like I could do more, but I never actually gave Samuel anything to hold onto. It really wasn’t my responsibility to monitor myself in my own home. It was his responsibility to respect my disinterest. I told Adam as much multiple times during high school, along with several choice words about his sexist belief that I had an obligation to make myself less attractive to avoid some horny kid’s lust. Despite my clear lack of interest, Adam forcefully told me that Samuel was off-limits, and that I could never hook up with him. “You would wreck him,” Adam used to say repeatedly whenever I threatened to take Samuel’s virginity just to piss him off.

When I left for college, Adam breathed a sigh of relief. I genuinely wasn’t a man-eater by any standard at that point in my life, but my disappearance provided Samuel with the opportunity to move on. Out of sight, out of mind. Their second and third years of high school passed by, along with a string of Adam’s back-to-back girlfriends, and Samuel started dating Adam’s girlfriend’s best friend during the summer before their senior year. I cheered when Adam told me over the phone during one of our every-other-week phone calls, hoping that Samuel would finally back the fuck off the next time I visited.

In the meantime, college had changed me, as it changes many people, and I found myself wielding my sexuality less and less responsibly. By the time I was halfway through college, I had recklessly hurt at least a dozen people, all the while feeling worse and worse about myself. It didn’t help that I was still closeted to my family. The women I dated kept leaving me because they didn’t want to be with someone who clearly resented her own sexuality, and I kept dumping the men I dated because I was a [commitmentphobe](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/gtlqeu/fm_reclaimed_my_boyfriends_cock_in_a_bar_bathroom/) and afraid of having a boyfriend.

Over winter break of my third year of college, I came home in a particularly vulnerable emotional state. A fall semester abroad had ended with my heart finally being the one that got broken, and I was starting to pick up on the fact that my best friend from high school was not interested in having us stay in each other’s lives. I gave my family a vague excuse for my sadness that didn’t even begin to cover the love triangle mess I had gotten myself into, telling them that I dated someone while abroad, and we didn’t think cross-continental dating would work.

They took the excuse and didn’t pry, telling me I could talk to them if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to talk. I wanted a distraction. In those days, my parents had a habit of konking out early (around 9 or 10 pm), so Adam and I frequently took advantage of their absence to host small groups of friends. Our little sister was too young to join in the debauchery, so we occasionally supervised Ouiji board and scary movie sleepovers to make up for it. Our parents knew, but they enjoyed the plausible deniability regarding high school and college students smoking weed and drinking in their basement on weekends and over seasonal breaks.

On the cold December night in question, somewhere between Christmas and New Year’s, all my high school friends bailed on having a basement party reunion, claiming they were too tired or they wanted to spend time with their families. Feeling abandoned and vulnerable, and needing company and a distraction, I offered up my fake ID’s services to provide booze for Adam, Samuel, and their girlfriends so that we could all get trashed together. They readily took me up on it, and I brought back copious amounts of beer and liquor for the group. Then, in a twist of fate, the girlfriends bailed as well. Who knows whether Samuel premeditatively told them not to come or whether the universe was just aligning to make his dreams come true. In any case, it resulted in Adam, Samuel, and me locking ourselves in the basement with a fuckton of alcohol while the rest of the Abrams family slept upstairs.

We played the usual drinking games. King’s cup, 2v1 beer pong, flip cup, etc. And then, like idiots, we played Never Have I Ever. Learn from my mistake: don’t play this game with a sibling. At best they know how to target you so you get trashed, and at worst you learn a lot of gross things about them that you really didn’t want to know. As the oldest person and the sole girl, I was hardcore losing. They kept targeting me, laughing conspiratorially each time one of them thought of another thing to say (“never have I ever had sex with a man,” “never have I ever used a tampon,” “never have I ever worn a bra.”). Eventually, I had enough of losing on account of my genitalia, and I turned the tables, even though I really didn’t want to know the answer. “Never have I ever gotten a blow job.”

Adam’s finger went down, and he took a drink, but Samuel stayed motionless. “WHAT?” I cried, fairly wasted at this point and swaying slightly in my chair, “But you have a girlfriend!”

He shrugged, his cheeks reddening. “She isn’t ready, and I’m not going to push her.”

Adam, the most wasted despite drinking the least, started counting the number of girls who had blown him, at which point I fake threw up and really pushed him off his chair. He landed on the soft carpet and cackled, looking up at us through glassy eyes and running his fingers across the floor. “You guys look so fucking tall right now!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his drunken stupidity, loud snorts coming out of my nose. Samuel joined in, watching me as I laughed. Eventually, I calmed down and stopped snorting, but Samuel kept watching me, a small smile on his face. “What’re you lookin’ at, punk?” I whispered jokingly, shaking a fist at him menacingly.

“Your laugh is really cute.”

Fuck. This shit again. “Well, Sammy m’boy, your girlfriend is really cute. And she wouldn’t want you saying that to me.”

He flushed again and looked away. “Sorry.”

Guilt panged in my chest. “It’s ok.”

“You guys should feel this fuckin’ carpet,” Adam called up, obliviously, “It’s soft as balls.”

“Why are you using balls as a measure of softness?” Samuel asked, laughing again, his embarrassment forgotten.

Adam shrugged, his eyes fluttering closed. “Dunno. But it’s soft enough to take a nap. Wake me up in five.”

“Adam, you should not be falling asleep this drunk. Dad’ll kill you if you throw up on the carpet,” I nagged.

“I’m fine, it’s just a lil nap.”

“ADAM. Go get water.”

He grabbed one of the red solo cups and stumbled over to the bathroom to fill it with water, glaring at me over his shoulder. Samuel watched him go. “Should we help him?” he asked.

“And risk having him throw up on me? No thank you,” I snorted, taking another sip of beer.

A silent moment passed. “Thanks again for the booze, Lily. It was really cool of you.”

I shrugged off the appreciation, feeling a pang of sadness as I remembered how this night was supposed to go. A paranoid suspicion that my friends were hanging out without me surfaced, but I shoved it down. “If I had an older sister, I’m sure she would have done this for me.”

“Yeah, but you’re not my sister.”

“Aren’t I though? You were here often enough growing up.”

He laughed, but his tone was a little too insistent in his reply. “That still doesn’t make us siblings.”

Adam stumbled back and flopped down on the couch face first. “I drank my damn water, and now I’m taking my damn nap. Wake me up in damn five.”

“As you wish, your majesty,” I simpered, pretending to set an alarm but really taking a picture of him.

I texted it to Samuel. He laughed and shot a text back.

>*do you want to go for a walk? kinda stuffy in here and i dont want to wake him up.*

My brow furrowed. *It’s cold as fuck outside. Can we just go upstairs?*

He got up and nodded his head towards the stairs. I went first, feeling his eyes on my ass as he followed me and not exactly hating it. I was bored, I was lonely, and it was harmless. For now. We tiptoed into the guest bedroom half a floor away and shut the door, giggling to ourselves. “How long do you think he will be out?” Samuel whispered.

“Long enough for us to draw some shit on his face. See if you can find any markers!”

We poked around in various drawers and cabinets, but there were none to be found. I flopped down on the bed disappointedly, the world spinning slightly from the alcohol, and Samuel sat in the chair, nervously keeping his distance. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want that. “Why are you so far away? I can’t whisper across the room,” I whispered from across the room.

He smiled shyly and laid down next to me on the bed. We settled in. “So how are things going other than your blow job-less life?” I whispered teasingly.

He laughed quietly. “Oh, you know, college apps are finally done. Just waiting to hear back now so I can stop freaking out about the future. That kind of thing.”

“You’re going to get into some great schools. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Gee, thanks, I guess I’ll stop worrying.”

I giggled, “Yeah, fair, that was pretty useless. All I’m saying is that if I can get into college, you can. I’m definitely dumber than you.”

“Hey, that’s not true.”

“I nearly [failed statistics](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/h0q5xk/fm_i_18f_took_my_chubby_friends_18m_virginity_to/).”

“Statistics is hard, cut yourself some slack. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

I smiled over at him. Boys complimented me on my body and my sense of humor all the time in those days, but they never complimented me on my brains. Or my laugh. It was a nice change. I shoved down the flicker of sexual interest that surfaced, reminding myself that Samuel had a girlfriend and was off-limits. He was my brother’s best friend. I would wreck him. He turned to look at me, his eyes lingering on my lips. “Can I ask you something?” he asked.

“You just did, but yeah.”

“Why were you so sad tonight?”

I blew air out through my lips and looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold myself back from turning this into a drunken crying session. “I dunno,” I lied, “College isn’t like high school. It’s lonelier, and you’re sometimes left feeling like you might have been better off if you had just stayed at home with all your friends for another four years.”

“You aren’t enjoying all the partying and hooking up?”

“It’s fun,” I admitted, “but that’s not every day. And if it were, it’d get old really quickly.”

“I don’t think I’d ever get sick of hooking up.”

“You’re just saying that because you’ve never hooked up with anybody,” I teased.

“Depends how you define hooking up,” he laughed.

“I’m talking about somebody sucking your cock, Samuel.”

He swallowed, my crassness catching him off guard. I loved the look on his face, the power I had over him with just a few dirty words. Fuck. I couldn’t do this. Samuel had a girlfriend and was off-limits. He was my brother’s best friend. I would wreck him. “Well, then, fine. No, I haven’t,” he muttered after a moment.

“If I can confess something,” I said softly, “I kind of wish I hadn’t fucked around so much in high school. Then maybe I would‘ve had more to look forward to during college.”

“I guess,” he murmured, “But if I can confess something, I was really jealous when you were in high school.”

“Well, yeah, I was getting laid.”

“It’s not that. I had a huge crush on you.”

“That’s not a confession, Samuel,” I said, smiling and rolling my eyes, “I knew.”

“You did?” he asked, leaning up on his elbow.

“You didn’t exactly hide it,” I laughed, a little nervous about why he was finally vocalizing it now, after all this time, “You have a very expressive face.”

“Oh yeah? Then what am I thinking right now?”

I met his eyes. They were darkened, his cheeks flushed from alcohol or from the conversation. “I know what you’re thinking right now,” I said softly, laying back down and staring up at the ceiling, “and it isn’t a good idea.”

“You can’t possibly know what I’m thinking.”

“You’re thinking about kissing me, and it isn’t a good idea.”

He was silent. I looked over at him, feeling a pang of guilt. And another pang of intense interest, wanting to claim him and blow his fucking mind with my body and solidify my place as the one who got away. I shoved those feelings back down, shaking my head. I couldn’t play with his emotions like that. Samuel had a girlfriend and was off-limits. He was my brother’s best friend. I would wreck him. “You have a girlfriend,” I whispered, “And Adam is asleep like right outside this door.”

“But if neither of those things were true…?”

I shrugged, mad at myself for being so interested in him now that he was more confident and unavailable. “Maybe? I don’t know. We’re drunk, we should stop talking about this.”

“What would you say if I told you I was thinking about dumping her anyway?”

“I’d say you’re an asshole for waiting until the holidays.”

“Lily.”

“What, Samuel? What do you want me to say? You’re Adam’s best friend, and I’d never even thought of you that way before tonight.”

A huge smile split across his face. “So you started thinking about me that way tonight?”

I laughed in spite of myself, covering my face in my hands and screaming softly out of frustration. “Why is that the one part of that sentence that you hold onto?”

He turned towards me, and I found myself turning towards him. “You know why,” he said softly, one of his hands reaching out to hold mine.

I let him take it, squeezing back gently as he laced our fingers together. We laid on the bed, several feet apart but connected by our hands. I thought back over the conversation, about his sweetness over the years even if it had been masked by his more annoying qualities. He had grown into himself since I’d left — he was more of a young man than a dopey kid. His jawline had a defined edge, and there was a five o’clock shadow on his cheeks. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had chest hair. I wanted to go for it, if for nothing other than my competitive side that wanted to set the bar unreasonably high for all the women who would follow me. I took a deep breath, trying to shove the feelings back down, but they wouldn’t budge. Fuck it. “You can’t tell Adam,” I whispered, holding his gaze steady.

“What, that we held hands? I’m sure he’d be scandalized.”

“No. Not that.”

I leaned forward and kissed him softly, my free hand cupping his face. After a moment, he kissed me back, his lips parting to slide his tongue against my bottom lip. For all his girlfriend’s desire to wait for sexual contact, she had clearly taught him how to kiss in the meantime. He let go of my hand to tangle his fingers in my hair, holding the back of my head as we deepened the kiss. I slid on top of him until I was straddling him, my pussy making contact with his clearly diamond-strength erection through several layers of clothing. Slowly, I started rocking against him, panting softly into his mouth and holding onto his shirt in my hands. One of his hands slid down my back to cup my ass, gripping it tightly in his enthusiasm. I loved it.

It was everything I had been missing in college. The attention from someone who actually knew me and still liked me anyways. The innocence of grinding against somebody fully clothed. The unbridled enthusiasm from somebody who would have given anything in the world to be doing this with me.

I angled my clit down as I rubbed my pussy on his erection over our pants, feeling a small clitoral orgasm building. His tongue explored my mouth, his hand on my ass pulling me against him instinctually to create more pressure. His hips lifted to rub harder against me, the grinding against my clit reaching an almost unbearable level until I came, squeaking into his mouth and shaking on top of him. He held me steady through the peak of my orgasm, breaking the kiss to watch my face. “Did you just—?” he asked, his face a mixture of surprise and sheer horniness.

I nodded and kissed him again deeply. Sliding my body against his, I kissed a trail from his neck to his pelvis over his shirt. His cock was straining at his pants, but I didn’t touch it. He had waited this long to have me. He could wait a little longer. I slid my fingers under the hem of his shirt and gently lifted it, Samuel sitting us upright so I could pull it off of him. I straddled his lap again, kissing him again forcefully as my hands wandered across his bare shoulders, his larger than expected biceps, his chest. Sure enough, there was a delicious spread of dark chest hair, and I ran my fingers through it slowly as I slid my tongue against his. Both his hands held my ass, pulling me against him to grind through our clothing. I tangled my fingers in his hair, needing to be closer to him.

He leaned us back down until his back was flat against the covers, never breaking the kiss, and he planted his feet on the bed so that he could grind against my pussy with more force, his hands brushing exquisitely against my nipples over my shirt. He was shockingly confident given his inexperience; it was clear that his girlfriend had taught him more than a few things about over the clothing petting. But I could do better than that. Leaning upright and stopping my grinding, I whipped my shirt over my head. He watched my movements while practically holding his breath, his mouth slightly open and his hands holding my hips. I let one of my bra straps slide down my shoulder to my arm, exposing more of the top and side of my breast. He stared but did nothing. “Can you help me take this off?” I asked innocently.

He slowly sat upright, his knees sliding back down to the bed. He kissed along my exposed shoulder, his thumbs brushing against my nipples over my bra. I moaned and ground my pussy against his cock once encouragingly. He kissed me softly as he slid his hands up my back, unhooking my bra easily. I was slightly disappointed that he knew how; I wanted my tits to be the ones seared in his memory as his first. Slowly, still kissing me, he slid my bra straps down my arms and pulled it off me, tossing it to the ground beside us. I brushed my tits against him as we kissed and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull myself closer, loving the feeling of my nipples touching his chest. His arms wrapped around me, holding me to him tightly and pulling us back down to the bed.

In one fluid movement, he rolled us over so that he was on top, our bare chests still pressed together and our tongues still tangled in my mouth. I hooked one of my legs around his calf and lifted the other to rest around his hips, one of my hands trailing down his back to grab his ass. He thrusted against me softly, panting into my mouth and bringing his hands to slide between us and cup my bare tits. I moaned as he tweaked my nipples between his fingers, teasing them into hardened points. He broke the kiss to dip down and take one into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it as I moaned even louder. He lavished each one with attention in turn, all the while grinding against my pussy through our clothing. “I want to suck your cock,” I told him softly, running my fingers through his hair.

His intense look took my breath away. He stood on the ground next to the bed, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants and pulling them down with his boxers in record time. His cock stood at the ready, looking painfully hard with a pool of precum built up on the tip. Looking up at him and smirking, I got on all fours and crawled towards him slowly on the bed, arching my back and making sure my ass was on display. When I reached the edge, I pushed myself upright to kneel on the bed. I pulled down my pants and panties to midway down my thighs and then laid back, my bare ass displayed to him with my legs straight in the air like a pinup girl. He took the hint, pulling my clothing off the rest of the way so that we were finally, after years of knowing each other, naked in front of each other for the first time. I opened my legs and placed my feet on the bed while I reached a hand down to spread my labia, showing off my wet pussy for him.

He cursed under his breath, his eyes raking up and down my body as he knelt in front of the bed and brought his left hand to rub my clit. I watched him, biting my lip as his right hand trailed down my inner thigh to push two fingers inside of me. I guess his girlfriend wasn’t actually a prude if he knew how to do this. Maybe she just wasn’t ready to start touching him. Moaning, I began rocking my body to his rhythm, encouraging him to fuck me harder with his fingers. He obliged, his hands working in tandem to rub my clit and fuck my cunt, an orgasm overwhelming me within minutes. I bit down on my hand so that I didn’t scream, my body shaking as he kept his pressure consistent while I came. He pulled his hands away as soon as I was done, pulling me upright and kissing me roughly.

We wrapped our arms around each other, holding our naked bodies together. I briefly entertained the idea of just offering to take his virginity, truly claiming him, but I had long since run out of my hidden supply of condoms, and I hadn’t gotten tested since before my semester abroad. Instead, I turned us so that the backs of his knees were touching the edge of the bed, and I pushed him down until he was sitting on it.

Breaking the kiss, I knelt in front of him, spreading his knees to make room for my body. His eyes followed my every move, his heavy panting the only sound I could hear besides my rapid heartbeat in my ears. I brought one hand to cup his face, kissing him again slowly, demandingly, as I squeezed his upper thigh with my other hand. Gently, I slid my hand up his thigh until it was mere inches away from his throbbing cock. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine, panting, his eyes closed. “Lily,” he whispered.

“Beg for it.”

“What?” he asked, surprised, his head pulling back.

“Beg,” I demanded.

He swallowed and held my gaze steady. “Please, Lily.”

I kissed him roughly, shoving my tongue in his mouth as I finally wrapped my hand around his cock. It was warm and firm in my hand, the soft skin begging to be licked. I kissed my way across his jaw to his neck, biting and sucking it roughly to leave a noticeable love bite that would be sure to lead to uncomfortable questions later. Good. I marked him repeatedly with my mouth, tugging on his cock as I made my way down his neck, past his chest, over his stomach, and finally reached his pelvis. He leaned back on his elbows to watch, the dark marks on his neck and chest standing out against his skin. I smirked at him as I stopped my hand, lifting his cock up so I could tease his balls with my tongue. His eyes never left my face, his expression one of disbelief as well as pleasure.

Sucking each of his balls into my mouth in turn, I rubbed his cock against my face and closed my eyes with delight as if it were my favorite thing in the world to service him. I pressed wet kisses up the length of his cock, starting at the bottom and working my way to the tip until I was sucking the tip into my mouth and flicking my tongue against it, then swirling my tongue around it outside of my mouth, and repeating the process. I pushed out saliva to spill down the length of his cock sloppily, acting out the pornos that I knew he watched and jerked himself to for years while thinking about me. I walked my knees back a couple half-steps, arching my back to make sure my round ass was again displayed. He groaned and tangled a hand in my hair, my teasing overwhelming him. I grabbed his other hand and pulled his torso upright before bringing that hand to my head as well. I locked eyes with him and kept the tip of his cock in my mouth, holding his gaze as I sucked my cheeks against it. Slowly, I pushed my face down the length of his erection until it was fully docked in my warm mouth. He groaned loudly, all hopes of staying quiet gone. I couldn’t bring myself to care. Adam would know what happened the second he saw Samuel’s neck. “Fuck, Lily,” Samuel whispered reverently.

Just as slowly, I pulled my face back until just the tip was in my mouth, and I pushed my head back down. My hands gripped his thighs for balance. I picked up the pace, fluidly fucking his cock with my mouth and making sloppy, pornographic sucking noises. I pressed his hands against my head more forcefully, and he took the hint. He wasn’t an awkward kid who followed me around the house anymore. He was a young man who was skull fucking the shit out of me, his hips thrusting up as he pushed my face down rhythmically. “Do you like that, Lily?” he groaned, his cock filling and leaving my mouth rapidly.

I moaned against his cock encouragingly, loving his uncertain foray into dirty talking. “You have no idea how long I’ve thought about this,” he strained, his thrusts getting more frantic as he got closer and closer to cumming, “I want you to swallow every drop of my cum.”

He pushed my face down until my lips were touching his pelvis, and he stood up for better leverage. He resumed his punishing pumping, and I relaxed my throat, breathing through my nose as I looked up at him. I held onto the backs of his thighs, gripping him tightly as he used my mouth. “Do you want my cum, Lily?”

I moaned again, loving the way he said my name reverently, as if he couldn’t believe I was really the one sucking his cock after all this time. “Fuck,” he groaned, his thrusts becoming frantic, “I’m gonna cum. Fuck, Lily, I’m gonna cum in your mouth.”

I held his gaze steady, knitting my eyebrows together and humming against his cock to encourage him. He groaned loudly, holding my face to his pelvis as his cock pulsed in my mouth, shooting cum down the back of my throat. I rubbed my tongue under his shaft and his balls, loving the way his mouth opened in a little O, his eyebrows raised and his eyes closed as he came violently. After a moment, he released me, and I pulled my face back to swallow the cum built up in the back of my mouth. I then took a final pass over his cock, his body spasming slightly as I sucked and lapped up every last drop of cum.

Biting my lip and looking up at him, I scanned my eyes over his satisfied face, feeling incredibly pleased with myself. He cupped my face and brought me up higher. He kissed my cheek and down my neck, clearly wanting to show affection but not wanting to kiss my lips when I had just swallowed a gallon of his cum. “As good as you imagined?” I whispered as his lips reached my clavicle.

“Better,” he whispered, his hands cupping my tits again.

I was moments away from suggesting that we find a condom in Adam’s room when, speak of the devil, his voice carried up the stairs. “Lil? I’m gonna be sick.”

Fuck. Samuel and I exchanged one final glance and scurried to grab our clothes, not needing Adam to walk in on this and throw up from disgust as well as alcohol poisoning. I removed my panties from the pile of my clothes on the floor and held them in my hand, slipping my pants on commando and throwing on my shirt. I stopped Samuel as soon as his pants were on, slipping my panties into his front pocket. “Something to remember me by,” I whispered with a smirk.

“As if I could ever fucking forget this,” he murmured, smiling.

He threw on his shirt, which did nothing to cover the hickeys on his neck, and we quickly washed our hands in the en-suite bathroom before going to Adam. Neither of us realized, but my bra was laying on the floor of the guest bedroom, forgotten in our haste. Samuel got Adam a trash can while I brought him more water, both of us returning to rub his back and murmur comforting words. He threw up in the trash can twice while Samuel held it, the two of us locking eyes over the back of Adam’s head and grimacing. A very different vibe than in the guest bedroom.

We helped him up the stairs, a slight pang of guilt in my chest as I laid him down on the bed where Samuel and I had just been laying naked. Whatever. It was better than trying to drag him all the way upstairs to his bedroom. We rolled him on his side and placed the trash can on the ground next to his head. Eventually, his drunken snores filled the room. Samuel and I sank down on the floor at the bottom of the bed, relieved and exhausted. “To be continued?” he asked, smiling and trying to hold my hand.

Fuck. I was going to wreck him. I covered his hand, stopping him from lacing his fingers through mine. “Samuel…” I said softly, “you have a girlfriend.”

“I’ll break up with her.”

“I go to college hours away. And you’re in high school.”

“I’ll be a college student literally next year. We don’t even have much of an age gap.”

“Two and a half years is a huge age gap right now,” I whispered, pulling my hands away and bringing my knees up to my chest, “You don’t get it because you’re still in your high school bubble.”

I couldn’t meet his eyes. I couldn’t bear to see what I was sure would be a look of hurt and disappointment and betrayal. He was silent. I looked over and saw him texting, his face actually fairly calm. “What are you doing?” I asked, unable to see his screen.

“Breaking up with my girlfriend.”

“Over text?” I yelped, trying to grab his phone, but he pulled it away from me and hit send.

“I just cheated on her, Lily, I don’t really think that the method of dumping her matters that much comparatively.”

I had to get out of there. I got up and walked towards the door, pausing for a moment as guilt crashed around me. For helping him cheat. For taking advantage of his interest in me. “I’m sorry,” I said softly, “This was a mistake.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“How can you say that?”

He got up and stopped me from leaving, cupping my face in his hands to turn me towards him and not caring that Adam was snoring peacefully just feet behind us. “Because it was something I‘ve wanted for fucking years. And even if I never touch you again, at least now I know what it was like.”

I laughed a short, watery laugh, my hands coming up to stroke his arms. “You’re corny. I didn’t know that about you.”

He released my face and moved his hands to hold mine. He kissed my cheek softly, chastely. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. I’m not a fragile kid anymore. I knew what this was.”

“Then why—“

“I had to at least try to keep it going now that I’ve finally seen you naked. You can’t blame me for that.”

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his chest. “I guess I can’t.”

He hugged me closer to him. It was the first time I realized he had had a growth spurt, now standing at least a full head above me. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be. I’m not.”

He released me with a final squeeze. “Go,” he whispered, “I’ll look out for Adam.”

I sniffed and nodded. “If you let him choke on his own vomit and die, then I’m coming after you. You’ll never get another blow job because you won’t have a dick.”

He crossed his heart, a hand up in solemnity. I smiled at him one more time and left.

Early the next morning, before the sun was even up, I woke up to my bedroom door slamming open. “Are you fucking kidding me, Lily?” Adam yelled.

It took me a moment to remember what he could possibly be mad about, but my cheeks flooded as soon as the night’s events came back to me. Fuck. His best friend. My head pounded. “Shhh,” I hissed, needing him to not exacerbate my hangover and also needing him to not scream out the details for our parents and little sister to hear.

He lowered his voice to a dangerous whisper, throwing the bra I had left downstairs at me. It landed at the foot of my bed, a lewd reminder of the night before. “Samuel, Lily, really? Out of everyone you could have opened your legs for in your own year who’s home right now?”

“Don’t act like this was one-sided, you sexist piece of shit, he wasn’t some unwitting kid.”

“Of fucking course it wasn’t one-sided,” he whispered angrily, “He’s been in love with you since he was twelve! It was up to you to have the self control to stop it from happening.”

“How is that fair? We both wanted it to happen. He wanted out of that relationship anyway, so it’s not like anything bad happened,” I whispered back, trying to justify it more to myself than to him.

“Oh, nothing bad happened? My girlfriend just dumped me in solidarity! Said she couldn’t date somebody whose best friend is a cheater.”

My stomach sank, and my breathing got shallower. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t know.”

“You never know! You have no idea how your actions affect other people. You just blow through here destroying lives and not giving a shit.”

“I do give a shit,” I murmured softly, my chest tightening.

“Then why did Samuel’s neck look like you attacked him with a vaccuum? You fucking wanted to show it off. You couldn’t bear the idea of him moving on, so you had to drag him back into his obsession with you. You’re a fucking bitch, and you used him to fill your empty fucking life.”

He turned and stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him. I burst into tears as soon as he was gone, wrapping my arms around my legs and sobbing into my knees to give myself over to my self-loathing. After a moment, I got up and packed my things, not wanting to have to explain to our parents why Adam was mad at me and definitely not wanting to be in the same house with him for another second. I shoved everything into my backpack and did a quick once-over of my room and the common areas to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind, scribbling a note on the fridge whiteboard saying that I had to go back to school unexpectedly to help a friend move before the new year. I wrote a separate note for Adam and slipped it under his door. *I love you. But you were a dick. Call me when you’re ready to talk it out.*

My phone chimed as I quietly locked the front door behind me, my breath vaporizing in the cold air. I pulled out my phone as I crunched across the frost-covered grass to my car. Samuel had texted.

>*just got home. adam said he yelled at you. im sorry.*

*Why are you apologizing?*

>*i don’t actually know. i dont think either of us have anything to be sorry for when it comes to him*

I smiled to myself as I tossed my backpack on the passenger seat and turned on the car, immediately blasting the heat.

*Are you and Adam going to be ok?*

>*we’ll be fine. he just needs to cool off. hes more pissed at you than at me*

*Typical. And are you going to be ok?*

>*are you kidding? i have literally never been better*
>
>*i meant what i said, lily. i knew what this was. you don’t have to worry about me*

My guilt abated slightly, and I reversed my car out of the driveway and headed back towards school. My roommates were still home for the holidays, but I could use some quiet time to think.

Adam didn’t talk to me until my birthday in April. I had gone to Miami with friends for spring break, so I hadn’t been home since that fateful day in late December. Of course, I had gotten updates about him from my parents, including about his and Samuels’ acceptances and commitments to the same university. They passed on my congratulations, but I kept my distance. All the Abrams kids know how to hold a grudge, and I was still pissed, even if his anger about my motivations was slightly justified. But here he was. Calling me on my 21st birthday. “Hey, smoosh,” I answered slowly, not knowing what to expect.

“Happy birthday, Lil.”

“Thank you.”

We were both quiet for a moment. “So, Samuel has a new girlfriend,” he said finally.

“Good for him. Do you like her?”

“She’s nice enough. She’s going to school with us next year.”

“That’s great!” I said genuinely, “Long distance sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“How’s his ex?”

He sighed. “She was obviously pissed, and she screamed at him at school in front of, like, everybody, but she’s ok. She’s dating someone new. They seem happy.”

“Good.”

Another pause. “And are you ok?” I probed gently.

“Yeah, my girlfriend took me back like a month after that.”

“So, no harm no foul?” I teased, testing the limits of his forgiveness.

He snorted. “Don’t be smug.”

“That’s just genetics, baby, we come from a long line of smug bastards.”

He laughed into the phone and then another silence fell over us. “I’m sorry for what I said,” he murmured finally, “You aren’t a bitch. And I know you don’t use people.”

“It’s ok. I definitely didn’t have great motivations for hooking up with him. I’m sorry if I made things weird with you guys.”

“You didn’t. And I still shouldn’t‘ve said that. It was fucked up.”

“It happens. I’ve yelled some truly horrific shit at Mom over the years.”

“Where do you think I learned to curse?”

We laughed together, and I felt lighter than I had in months. “You were mad and sad,” I said softly, “and people do and say stupid shit when they’re emotional.”

“Yeah. Is that why you hooked up with Samuel?”

“Probably. I wasn’t in a great place.”

“Lily… what happened while you were abroad?”

“Do you really want to know? It isn’t pretty.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Ok, then. Sit back and get comfy, because this one‘s a doozy.”

We talked on the phone for over an hour, Adam listening attentively and chiming in where appropriate. I changed some of the genders of the people involved because I wasn’t quite ready to share that secret with him, but it felt good to talk about it. My phone kept buzzing against my ear with birthday greetings from other friends and family, but I ignored them. Eventually, though, I realized I needed to get ready for my party. “Go enjoy your first ever drink,” Adam joked, “I hope it’s fun.”

“Thanks, smoosh.”

“And Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. Happy birthday.”

“I love you too. Same time in two weeks?”

“Same time in two weeks.”

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/hb4fjq/fm_i_20f_got_drunk_while_home_from_college_and