This is a story about my ex-wife and I and our first and last experience in “the lifestyle.”
I wasn’t crazy about doing it, but she was really excited and shoot, anything that gets your wife fired up is worth looking into. We made contact with a couple and met a couple of times for drinks. I thought the wife of the other group was good looking, and she was really attracted to the other guy.
Well, after knowing these folks for a bit, we decided to meet them for dinner and drinks and share a hotel room afterwards. The initial agreement was to just watch them doing each other while they watched us doing each other. Sounded intriguing, so off we went.
We had a great time at dinner and all 4 of us had nice little buzzes going as we made our way to the hotel.
We’d brought a cassette player and some bad ass mix tapes (yeah, it was a while ago)and I put some smooth music on, for us to dance to. Well, things progressed and pretty soon, all parties are involved. The girls are kissing each other and the other guy and I are liking what we’re seeing. To give you a physical idea, his wife was maybe 5’5″, 140ish pounds and mine was a little shorter and weighed 10 pounds or so less than his, both are attractive ladies. The other guy was short, 5’7” or so and was a little chubby at over 200 pounds. We are enjoying the show, when homeboy starts kissing on my wife. She was down with it, so I started kissing on his. This begins a ridiculous game of “one -upsmanship” that completely escalates out of control. He kisses my wife on the neck, I kissed his on the chest, I could go on and on….
Long before we met, my wife and I devised a system that we would use to discreetly let the other know that it was okay to continue. They were cute and cozy little words like “that works for me” and “I’m okay if you’re okay”, alright, so maybe it wasn’t that discreet, but it worked for us. Well, dude and my wife are kind of off the other side of the bed and he’s removing his pants. However, little Miss Sugar Tongue that he’s married to is doing some pretty magical things to me, so I’m not really paying as much attention to the situation as I should have been. It wasn’t until I hear my wife, in a guttural moan, grunt “Give it to me you nasty man!”, that I was able to focus on the other guys apparatus. What I thought was a stray can of spray paint laying on the bed was this dude’s hog. Before I can say “don’t do it”, he’s planted that one eyed trouser monster into my wife like someone dropped a serving spoon in a bowl of chili. I actually heard it hit bottom.
I’m no slouch in the weiner department, but it was like fighting an M1A1 Abrams tank with a .22 pistol at this point. I didn’t know whether to mourn my wife’s now ruined vagina or stand up and clap that he could get that thing where it needed to be and not lose conciousness.
Well, some time before this event took place, my wife informs me that a deep, dark (pun intended) fantasy of hers was to be with two guys at once with both of them…uhhhh…right, you get the picture. I’d always thought that it was something she liked the idea of, but would never actually engage in. Well, she lets me know, in language that would make a nuns ears bleed, that she wants this to go down right now.
So I lay on the bed and my darling wife sits on top of me with her back to me, putting me firmly in the number 2 position.
Now, I’m no homophobe, but I don’t want to rub swords with anyone either. This was all for my baby, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy.
So my heavily donged friend was kissing on his wife, attempting to get the crotch ness monster into position. His distraction with the lip service proved to be my undoing as his wife, apparently quite aroused to see him performing this delicate act, reaches behind him and pushes his hips violently forward.
Dare I say, alignment is key here. Dreadfully, things were not where they were supposed to be and this guy’s steely pocket cannon brutally jabs me in my taint. I felt as if I’d been shot. As I mentioned before, my wife is a small woman. Without any regard for anyone’s safety, and to protect my heterosexuality, I bucked my hips straight up into the air, sending my wife flying. She hits her head on the light fixture on the way up, breaking the numerous bulbs there ensconced. This sends white hot shards of broken glass raining down on Captain Hammer Penis and myself. My wife, her fate now controlled by the fickle mistress that is gravity, continues her trajectory onto the table near the bed, where she crashes to earth through some empty beer bottles and a copy of the Gideon Bible. Upon thrusting said hips in response to the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, I smashed my left eyebrow on the headboard and am bleeding profusely both from that wound and from the glass shrapnel wounds covering my upper torso. My wife is moaning from her unexpected flight as I stumble to the bathroom to nurse my wounds.
The bottom line was, no one even got off and we didn’t speak to each other for a month. Swinging ain’t all it’s cracked up to be…
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/gyybu5/our_firstand_last_foray_into_swinging_mfmf